Rewriting The Stars
by aw1214
Summary: Continuing the events from a couple months after the film ended. Phillip and Anne are happily together, the cast and the Barnums couldn't be happier for them, they will of course face struggles regarding Anne's skin but true love always wins. WARNING CONTAINS EXPLICIT SEXUAL SCENES
1. The First Date

Since Phillip woke up after the fire Anne's life had gotten dramatically better, Phillip had paid for a new circus tent where the old theatre had been, everyone had their own room, although Anne still slept in a bed next to W.D she spent most nights with Phillip in his room. She'd finally decided to trust Phillip and let him in despite all the constant racism she and now he receives, loving him was worth it. They had all new routines for the show, her favourite was the one where Phillip kissed her every night at the end of the show.

Tonight was no different, she swung through the air on her trapeze swing letting go and grabbing hold of W.D's legs as he flew towards her, she let him build momentum back and forth before she let go and dropped thirty feet, she was caught safely in the arms of the cast, they threw her up again and she twirled in the air before landing gracefully next to Phillip as he sang.

She danced next to him, he winked at her before he ended the song and grabbed her by her waist, spinning then dipping her, pausing to look into her eyes he kissed her in front of the audience.

There were mixed reactions of course, there always were. Every show there were the same few people, only showing up so they could try and spread their hate for the circus freaks. Some people clapped and cheered, some gasped at the shocking sight of an interracial couple right in front of their eyes, a few booed and shouted profanity. Anne didn't care, alone she would feel fragile and insecure but with Phillip and all her friends with her she felt strong and invincible to their words.

The audience began to disperse once Phillip pulled Anne back to her feet and thanked everyone for coming. The cast too dispersed as they walked backstage behind the stands where they liked to relax after the show every night. W.D ran up to Anne "nice job on your neck trick tonight sis" he said high fiving her, she laughed and wiped the sweat from her brow, "thanks D, and hey props to you for that awesome back flip you did off the hoop". He held his hands up, "I'm just glad you caught me" he joked before going to talk to the others.

Phillip who was beaming by her side dragged Lettie away from the others, "hey I need a favour" he asked her, she smiled warmly, "of course what do you need?" "I want to take Anne on her first official date, we've been together for a few months now but I realised we've only really had cute nights in my room. I want to take her to the beach to look at the stars" he told Lettie, she clapped her hands together, "oh Phillip! That's amazing she'll love that!" She squealed, Phillip laughed and rubbed his neck, "but the favour I want to ask is, I've got something else planned as well, for afterwards and I'd really like it if we could be alone if you know what I mean" he proposed nervously.

Lettie narrowed her eyes trying to think of what he could be suggesting, "Oh! Do you mean…." She asked her eyes widening at the realisation, she wiggled her eyebrows, Phillip turned pink, "yes. And I don't want W.D around so if you could all go out for a drink or something tonight?" Phillip asked looking over where the others laughed and joked, Lettie nodded, "of course, good luck Carlyle" she said before they walked back to everyone else.

Anne walked over to Phillip as he and Lettie rejoined the group. In his absence she had removed her pink wig, her brunette curls now flowing freely. She shot Phillip a confused look, "what were you two talking about?" She asked but Phillip just shook his head, "nothing don't worry just boring circus stuff, new songs, you know that sort of thing" he lied, "ah okay" she said nodding her head.

At that moment Lettie stood up on a bale of hay, "attention please! Tonight was one of our smoothest nights yet!" She announced, everyone cheered at that, "and so I was thinking we could all go out for a drink to celebrate tonight" She continued, there was another cheer and everyone buzzed amongst each other excitedly at the prospect of going to the bar with all their friends. "Anne smiled at Phillip, "wow that sounds really fun, I can't wait"  
"uh actually, I have other plans, I was hoping you'd accompany me for a special surprise" he asked her, she frowned, "what surprise? What is it?" She asked, he put his hands on his hips, "well if I told you that it wouldn't be a surprise now would it" he teased, Anne feigned an annoyed expression and stuck out her tongue at him. Phillip glanced at Lettie and she gave him a wink before her and the others all walked towards the exit talking about the show and how well it went.

Phillip turned back to Anne, "hang on we just need to grab something from my room" he told her, she took his hand and agreed. They walked into Phillips room, he lit the gas lamp on his desk so he could see what he was doing and removed his top hat, dropping it next to the lamp.

He picked up a white cloth on his desk and turned around to face Anne, "now before I do anything else, I need to blindfold you so I don't ruin the surprise, you're not allowed to know where I'm taking you" he said holding up the cloth, she grinned, "you're not taking to have me killed are you?" She joked, Phillip slapped his knee "dammit, it's not a surprise anymore" he laughed.

Anne giggled and allowed him to tie the cloth around her eyes so she couldn't see, he waved her hand in front of her face to make sure she was really blinded then he reached behind his desk for the picnic basket filled with food he'd hidden there. He grabbed her hand so he could guide her on where she was going, he led her outside the circus tent where there was a horse drawn carriage waiting for them.

With great difficulty he helped her inside the cab, "where are you taking me?" She giggled feeling Phillip's face, "we'll be there soon, patience" she pouted but said nothing else. It wasn't long until the carriage pulled up just in front of the beach, both Phillip and Anne got out and he paid the driver.

He led her through the sand so they could sit by the sea, "can I take the blindfold off yet?" Anne asked desperate to know what Phillip had planned, "almost just a second" he promised. He rested the picnic basket in the sand and pulled out a blanket, "now you can look" he told her. She eagerly ripped off the blindfold and looked at the blanket and basket lying in the sand then around her at the beach, her face lit up, "oh lord this is incredible!" She cried, she wrapped her arms around Phillip's neck and hugged him tightly. He grinned, "I'm glad you like it love".

They sat down in the sand and Phillip pulled a candle stick, a loaf of bread and some cheese out of the basket. He lit the candle and tore the bread, offering half to Anne, she leaned against him and accepted the bread a cute smile on her face.

They watched the waves crashing on the shore, it was a calm clear night, there was no wind or clouds, they had the perfect view of the stars, "I love it" Anne said taking a bite of her bread, "I realised I hadn't really taken you on a date yet" Phillip admitted sheepishly, Anne laughed and kissed his cheek, "thank you baby".

They were both extremely hungry from the show, they hadn't had a chance to eat since the morning as they were both rehearsing all day, they ate in silence as they ripped apart the bread and cheese. They then lay on the blanket under the stars together, Phillip's arms wrapped around Anne's shoulders as she cuddled into him, "hey look at that one" he said pointing to the brightest star in the sky, "that one's my favourite" she told him whilst he too admired the bright shining light in the sky. He turned his head to look at her as she studied the sky a look of awe on her face, she looked so cute with her eyes lit up in wonder, "really? Because I'm looking at my favourite star right now" he said, she looked at him to see where he was looking and blushed when she realised his gaze was focused on her, "why? Look at me" she said hiding her face in his shoulder, embarrassed.

He smiled, "I am and you're more beautiful than any star in the sky" he told her truthfully, he couldn't see but she blushed harder at his sign of affection.

The truth was she still had no idea why he wanted to be with her, she was just a poor black girl with nothing to her name, she wasn't anything special, sure she was talented in trapeze but other than that she was about as ordinary as they came. She was a nobody, she emerged from her hiding spot and looked at him studying his face intensely, he laughed lowly, "what?" He asked,"Why do you like me? Why do you choose to be with me? Considering how everyone looks at you when you're with me, what everyone thinks of us" she asked seriously, the smile melted of his face, "I don't care what anyone else has to say, you are the most incredible girl I have ever met, I want to be with you, I'm so happy when I'm with you and I miss you when you're gone" he told her passionately.

She looked away, "How can you say these things when I'm nothing?" She asked her voice fragile, "what makes you think that?" He asked turning his body slightly so he could face her properly, she thought back to the comments a few guys in the audience threw at her earlier, she got comments every night she wasn't sure why it hit her so hard tonight. He pulled her face towards his so she looked at him, "was it those guys in the crowd?" He asked reading her mind, she nodded sadly.

He frowned anger coursing through his veins, he hated when those small minded bastards hurt his girl, she must've felt him tense up as he began to get mad because she scanned his face and held her hand to his cheek in an attempt to calm him, "hey it's okay, they're right" she told him, he looked at her angrily, "no they're not" he shot back harsher than he'd meant to, she was taken aback by his tone, her face changing to a hurt expression.

His hard face softened slightly, "I'm sorry, just… Don't say that, they know nothing, they're wrong. You're amazing and I never want to lose you" he said softly, she nodded slowly "you won't" she promised, she kissed him gently causing him to smile and her blush.

She lay her head next to his again as they turned their attention back to the stars, they looked at them in silence for a few seconds, "I think I'm falling in love with you" Phillip said quietly, Anne couldn't help but to smile, she looked at him and kissed his cheek lovingly, "me too" she said watching that beautiful grin of his spread across his face.

They had a wonderful evening there together before they decided it was time to head back, Phillip packed up the basket again and held his hand out for her which she of course accepted and they walked back to the street so they could get a carriage home. The circus tent was thankfully empty meaning Lettie had kept her favour to Phillip in keeping everyone out for the night, Anne looked around confused, "where is everyone? Are they still not back yet?" She asked, it was unusually quiet, it was never quiet in the tent, even at night you could everyone else talking or people's snores coming from their room or the sound of the animals in the back.

Phillip led her to his room, "they're probably just out enjoying themselves" he told her, once again lighting the gas lamp, Anne watched Phillip as he crossed the room and shut his door, "still they've been gone for a few hours, they should be back by now" she said looking worried. Phillip turned to face her, "actually, I asked Lettie if she could stay out late with the others today" he confessed looking at her with a surge of confidence, she cocked her head to the side, "why did you do that?" She asked him feeling confused again, he took walked closer towards her so there was only the smallest distance between them.

"Tonight's not over yet, I wanted to show you how much I love you" he whispered, she hadn't quite caught on yet, "how do you intend to do that?" She asked him innocently, he smirked and kissed her with a fiery passion, he'd never kissed her like this before, sure they had kisses that turned heated, but never like this before, he broke the kiss and trailed kisses down his neck, her breath hitched, "oh" she managed before gasping at the sensation.

Phillip detached his lips from her neck and walked her backwards so she was in front of his desk, he kissed her again and lifting her legs as he did, so that she was now sitting on her desk, her legs wrapped around his torso. Her breathing began to get heavier, she started to feel excited in a way she never had done before, her kissed down her neck again sucking gently at her chocolate coloured skin, a quiet moan escaped her lips as she moved her head back giving Phillip better access, his hands held her waist and pulled her closer to him, "Phillip…" she managed. She ran her fingers quickly through his hair pulling at it slightly as she did so, her other hand placed gently on the nape of his neck.

He started getting rougher and she squirmed under his hard touch, he bit gently at the sensitive skin and she bit her lip to stop her moans from getting louder, she ripped his jacket off of him and her hand she was using to combe through his hair snaked down to his strong chest. Phillip moved his head so he could admire his work, he held a satisfied look on his face when he saw he had left a dark mark on her neck from his burning kiss. Anne panted and looked at him with lust in her eyes, she wasn't entirely sure what she was doing but she knew she wanted Phillip. He leaned his forehead against hers and reconnected their lips, she hugged his body to hers and he lifted her up off the desk, turning to gently drop her onto the bed.

He quickly unbuttoned his shirt whilst Anne watched with a look he'd never seen before, but he knew it drove him crazy. He dropped his shirt on the floor next to bed and crashed his lips against hers again, pressing her body to his soft mattress, his hands moved from her waist to her small breasts, she moaned into his kiss at the contact.

This seem to drive him on more, his hands slid to her back in an attempt to undo her costume she was still in from the show, she placed a hand on his chest and pushed him away gently, she looked into his eyes and swallowed her nerves, "here let me" she whispered. He watched her as she reached behind her back and undid the costume and slid her arms out of the sleeves, leaving her top half exposed.

He held his breath as he drank in the sight of her small perfect breasts, she looked at him with an unsure expression, unable to hide her insecurity. He noticed her nervous expression and kissed her forehead before gently cupping one of her breasts, she tilted her head back and gasped. The sight of her eyes closed with pleasure as he touched her exposed flesh excited him, he felt his pants begin to tighten.

He kissed her neck again this time trailing kisses down to her chest, he took the other breast in his mouth and sucked it softly before kissing down her stomach too. He marvelled at the sight of her perfect hourglass figure and placed a gentle kiss on her hip, when she moaned slightly, he kissed it again and then sucked the skin roughly.

She was unaware just being kissed could feel so powerful, pleasure coursed through her body and she felt an unfamiliar burning below her stomach, she was unsure of what she wanted but she definitely needed it.

Her hands found Phillip's shoulders, she pulled him up towards her again, "Phillip…" She gasped, he stopped and rose so he was eye level again, "Phil, I've never- I don't know how to…" She stuttered trying to find the right words, he smiled at her innocence, "hey it's okay, we don't have to do anything you don't want to" he reassured her, "no, it's not that" she panted, still trying to catch her breath from the exhilarating experiences, "I'm not sure how to-" she began, he cut her off with a kiss, "that's alright, don't worry I'll talk you through it" he promised.

He rolled off her and lay on the bed next to her, his hand hovered at where he costume was still covering the bottom half of his body, he looked up at her "may I?" He asked quietly, she nodded and allowed him to slide the material down her legs, she stepped out of the fabric suddenly very conscious she was completely exposed, she hid her face in his neck, "hey" he whispered quietly, he moved his hand to her head ready to move her head so he could see her again when she kissed his neck.

His whole body tensed and he inhaled hard, she glided her hand down his chest and rested it on the bulge in his trousers. How she knew to do this she didn't know, maybe instinct had kicked in. He moaned lightly at this, encouraging her further, she sucked his neck like she had felt him do and he swore. Desperate to distract himself for the tightness growing still his hands roamed her body, he slowly moved his hand down until he rested just above his pelvis, he hesitated to make sure she was ready, she didn't protest so he ran his fingers down and found the spot she craved to be touched.

It was her turn to tense, she released his neck and gasped, her body shifted forward desperate for him, he slowly stroked her body and she moaned, "f-fuck" she cussed, he felt a shock of pleasure run through his body hearing Anne swear like that, she never swore,ever. He sped up the movement and moved his free hand to her face, he gently cupped her cheek and kissed her softly. She felt so good she began to see little black spots cloud her vision, she squeezed her eyes shut, feeling dizzy and like she was flying at once.

He pulled away and studied her face, biting his lip at the site of the look of pleasure she held, knowing he was the reason… "I love you" he told her truthfully, she opened her mouth to reply but a moan came out instead, she licked her lips and tried again, "I… Uhhh… I l-love you… Too" she gasped between moans. She felt pressure begin to build inside of her, she gripped the bedsheets as hard as she could unsure how to manage these intense feelings of pleasure running through her, she felt the pressure build more and more, when she couldn't possibly bare it any more, she felt a wave crash through her like the ocean on a stormy day breaking through a sea wall. Her body shook and she cried Phillip's name.

She lay there when she felt the intense sensation reside panting, trying to process what had just happened, Phillip leaned his head against her smiling as he pressed his lips to her cheek, "wow" she gasped, "was that okay?" He asked her, she nodded vigorously, "that was amazing" she said, he chuckled wearily, she turned onto her side so they were face to face, "how do I… I want to make you-" she trailed off struggling to find the words again, Phillip raised his eyebrows, "are you sure? You don't hav-"

"I want to. Tell me what to do" she said in a voice so commanding she surprised herself, she kissed his jawline and nibbled at his ear causing him to hold his breath.

He took her hand and guided it back to where his trousers felt painfully tight, he moaned loudly when she pressed her hand against him. For a girl who was normally so shy and unsure of herself she seemed very confident and forward, this surprised him but he didn't want to complain, "I need to…" he began reaching for his belt to undo it but she shushed him and pushed his hand away, she instead unbuckled his belt and carefully pushed his trousers down his legs, they dropped around his ankles and she palmed him through his white boxers.

He whimpered softly as she did this, he could tell she was smiling when she trailed kisses down his neck again. Her hand moved quickly as she pressed it against him over and over, he bucked instinctively feeling himself beginning to lose control. She sensed he couldn't stand the tension any more and so pushed his boxers too, down his legs so they fell around his ankles.

"What do I do now?" She whispered, Phillip moaned as she touched him, his head was so light it was hard to think at all, "hold it and- shit… Uhhh" he struggled to make his voice work, all he could think about was her body pressed against his, her hot breath tickling his neck and her hand gripping him. She experimentally stroked it, pulling her head away to watch his reaction.

He closed his eyes and pushed his head back against the mattress, "yes" he hissed, she found herself biting her lip, his eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth hung open slightly as he panted and groaned, she started to feel extremely hot again, she continued touching and stroking him. It felt weird in her hand, it was warm and thick. It was somehow hard and squishy at the same time, this was not how she expected them to look.

Truthfully, she had never seen a man naked, nor had ever touched one in the way she lay here touching Phillip. She had never had sex but she had a rough idea on what happened, she'd heard her master raping her mother when she was a kid but this was different, she loved Phillip and wanted to give her body to him, no matter how much she hated it. She tried not to look down at her own body as she admired his in all its naked form. She felt ashamed of her body, she wished her skin was lighter, she wished she had bigger breasts, she wished she would look more attractive, she felt awkward and ugly. But as she studied Phillip's shaking body, she felt a deeper attraction to him. He was so perfect, from his light pale skin to his strong chest and thighs. She liked knowing she could make him feel so good.

He moaned loudly pulling her from her thoughts, "Anne" he growled his voice deep and full of lust, she felt a shock of electricity run down her spine, "Anne" he repeated, although it came out as more of a whimper this time, "I'm so close I-" he warned, he let out a soft whimper again, his body tensed and he bucked his hips wildly against her touch. A white, sticky substance came pouring out of him, she wasn't sure what to do next so she licked her hand, the substance tasted salty and warm, it wasn't bad though, she moved and licked the substance off his hips too, he whimpered again every time her tongue swiped over him.

He opened his eyes and he ran a hand through his hair and wiped the sweat off his face, he couldn't believe how good that had felt. He had had sex before, meaningless hookups with strangers from the bar he used to practically live in or those girls off the street when he got lonely but it was never like this, she only had to touch him and he felt better than he ever did with any of those women. He'd never had sex for love before and he decided he never wanted it to be any other way, he would never touch another girl as long as he shall live, he only wanted Anne and always for love.

She kissed him once she had finished, he crinkled his nose recoiling at the taste of himself, he coughed and spat, looking at her in disbelief, "what?" She asked unable to stifle her laugh at the look on his face, he shook his head at her eyebrows raised but joined her in laughing, she stopped laughing, "I love you Phillip" she told him seriously "I love you too Anne" he replied teasing her slightly, "hey. Be nice" she said her accent dripping with her southern drawl, "what're you going to do about it Wheeler?" He laughed, she cupped him again causing him to stop in his tracks, "don't mess with me boy" she joked.

He rolled over so he lay with his body on top of hers, his hands planted either side of her and he pressed his body gently against hers, she felt him against her leg, he moved slightly causing a hotness to spread through her again, "or what?" He replied smugly, she furrowed her eyebrows determined not to show how much that affected her and failing, "Phillip…" She murmured, he smirked, "yes my love?".

She wasn't sure where she was going with this but she had a burning desire inside, "please" she begged, her brain quickly losing control. She wasn't even sure what she was pleading for but Phillip seemed to understand, he moved his hand down and pushed his fingers inside of me, she was shocked but bit her lip at the pleasant sensation, "I need you" Anne begged, she wasn't sure what she needed but she felt a sense of urgency.

He removed his fingers and hovered slightly at his hand moved to position himself in front of her, he then slowly parted her legs slightly wider and sank into her. She grabbed at the bedsheets immediately, she felt painful friction spark as he moved, she made a sound of pain and he stopped, "it'll only hurt for a second" he promised her drawing his eyes aware from their torsos to meet her eyes, he could seen she was in pain and wiped away tears that threatened to spill, she trusted him and nodded.

He pushed in further and the sharp pain flared again, once his hips met hers, he froze and took her hand. She squeezed it to distract herself from the uncomfortable feeling, he gave her time to adjust, the discomfort started to subdue and was slowly replaced with pleasure again, she breathed out, she hadn't realised she was holding her breath.

She stroked her thumb across the back of his hand, a subtle signal to begin to move again, he understood and using his free hand to support himself backed out of her and then slowly moved back in, it felt strange and still a little sore to her but with every second it began to feel better and better. Phillip moaned in her ear unintentionally but the sound sent a jolt through her body, "baby" she gasped, she released his hand and lay it instead on his back pushing him deeper inside of her.

The pain disappeared and instead she felt pleasure run through her again, she lifted her hips to meet his with every thrust. He kissed every part of her he could and increased the pressure slightly.

She felt overwhelmed by the powerful feelings he helped her feel but she was hungry for him, she scratched at his back begging him for more, he began to thrust harder and faster at her request. The bed squeaked underneath them as he formed somewhat of a rhythm, she lifted her legs and wrapped them around his moving hips allowing him to hit a spot that made her body tingle. "Anne… Oh Anne" he whimpered as he started to buck more sporadically, she was unsure how much longer she could hold on before the pressure would break through her again, she pulled at his hair and clawed at his back rougher now, surely leaving blood.

His whimpers became more high in pitch and breathier, he couldn't hold back his moans anymore, he felt it coming but tried to push into her for a few more seconds for her. She tightened her legs grip around his hips as her body began to shake again "Phil I can't- fu" she stuttered, she bit his shoulder slightly to stop herself from cursing for a second time, he thrust hard one last time before he too shook with intense pleasure. They both exploded into heavenly bliss simultaneously, she felt a warm feeling spread within her and smiled knowing she was able to revoke such a dramatic reaction in him as he moaned her name again.

They lay intertwined with each other for a few seconds until Anne lowered her legs, he lifted himself with difficulty, his arms felt weak from supporting himself for so long. He landed heavily on the bed next to her, grabbing his blanket he pulled over both of them, covering up their exposed flesh. Anne didn't know how to voice how great that was but as he looked at her, he could tell by her satisfied expression she felt as good as he did. He outstretched his arms which she gratefully shuffled into, he cuddled her close to him, "thank you" he said with a smile, "you're adorable" she laughed, although she couldn't see his face, she knew already he had that goofy smile plastered over his face.

He sighed happily and played with her bouncy curls, he wasn't sure why but he loved her hair. It was so thick and voluminous, you could completely flatten a strand of her hair but the second you let go it would bounce back into it's twirly shape, "the perfect end to the perfect night" he decided, he felt her nod against his chest in agreement,  
"I should be the one thanking you, tonight was better than I could ever have asked for." Lying here with her in his arms made him happier than he'd ever been in his entire life, he felt a laugh of joy ripple through his body, he couldn't help it, she was so perfect, he didn't deserve the pure unfiltered happiness she made him feel, she kissed her head and went to speak but he stopped himself when he heard a quiet huff.

He looked down at his girlfriend and realised she had fallen asleep draped over his chest, she must've exhausted herself with tonight's intimate activities, he smiled once again and shifted slightly so he could wrap his arm around her petite shoulders, careful not to wake her. It wasn't long before weariness too hit him again like a ton of bricks and he slipped peacefully into a pleasant slumber.


	2. Anne's Rehearsal

Phillip's felt a something soft and gentle against his skin, his eyes fluttered open slowly, he squinted as he adjusted to the light and the pain in his eyes as they begged to be closed again, but he just blinked a few times and was met with Anne's adorable smiling face as she sat in front of him watching him now wearing a white t-shirt she'd found in his drawer.

Her eyes lit up when she looked at him, "morning baby" she said happily but quietly giving Phillip time to adjust to being awake, he sat up and rubbed his eyes, "morning" he replied sleepily

"I'm sorry I woke you up but I've been up for hours and I missed you" she said placing a gentle hand on his cheek, he moved slightly so he could lean into her touch, "oh I'm sorry" he said turning and kissing her palm, she smiled shyly at him, "in my defence, you always wake up really early like humanly impossible early" he said with a smile, she rolled her eyes.

She looked so good when she did that he thought as a wave of affection rushed through his body, "well it's not my fault I'm not lazy like you and don't lounge around in bed all day" she shot back with a wink.

This felt right, this felt so right. It was cosy and nice. Phillip had never seen himself as a man who might one day have a domestic life and now here he lay with his amazing girlfriend in bed on a Saturday morning as she lightly teased him and stroked his face lovingly. Thinking about how much Anne had changed him made him feel good, his life was so much more great with her in it, he didn't even realise at the time how alone he felt, when Barnum convinced him to join the circus in the bar what was it, he said? "Don't you know that I'm okay?". He didn't realise in that moment how wrong he was, but then he agreed and joined the circus and god he remembers that moment he and Barnum stood on that balcony, Anne swinging towards him.

Looking at him with beautiful hazel eyes he could get lost in forever, he knew in that moment he wanted her, in a way he'd never wanted a girl. At first it scared him but now? He could never go back to what he was without Anne.

He must've been staring because she laughed that nervous laugh she always does when she feels slightly insecure, she always did when he appreciated her for too long, "penny for your thoughts Carlyle?" She asked, he smiled "I was thinking about the day we met" she smiled with nostalgia "I remember like it was yesterday, it was in the middle of my performance, I swung towards you, I was actually supposed to jump and land on the balcony where you stood but I looked at you and your had the cutest look of awe on your face. When our eyes connected, I forgot everything"

"Well I'm sorry I ruined your act but you took my breath away" he defended "I can say the same, unfortunately you kinda need to breathe when you're swinging upside down thirty feet from the ground. I actually swung myself again so I could get another look at you but you were gone and D was _not_ happy" she laughed. She'd never told her any of this and it just made the moment that much sweeter.

He reached out and traced the mark he had left on her neck the night before, she shivered at his gentle touch on the sensitive patch of skin. He smirked before holding his arms out for her. She rolled her eyes again before laying against his body, her nose touching his, her arms wrapped around his chest, "you're so clingy" she teased, "ironic coming from the acrobat who clings to things for a living" he replied staring into the girl's eyes, "hm I suppose that's true" she whispered, he kissed her forehead like she had done to wake him, "plus I just want to be near you, be able to touch you, I want to love you every second I can" he replied, she shook her head with a smile, "has Phillip Carlyle gone soft? What happened to that hard whiskey drinking man I'd met?" She teased looking at his lips, "I met you and you changed me for the better, you have no idea how true that is" he promised before closing the gap between their lips.

He just wanted to get lost here with her, lost in her eyes, her smile, her touch, her kiss. He knew they would have to get up soon but he stubbornly pushed that thought to the back of his mind, he just wanted to lie here all day with her and talk about stupid things that didn't matter but she pulled away, resulting in a disappointed whine from Phillip.

She sighed, "come on we've got to get up", he pouted and pulled her back down when she tried to sit up, "Phillip, we've got to" she laughed, he shook his head like a sulky toddler, "no" he pouted, "we have things to do, I need to train, you need to work on your singing" she pointed out. He held his hand to his chest in mock offence "hey what's wrong with my singing?"  
"nothing baby but there's always room to improve" she said breaking away from his determined grip and standing up.

Phillip stretched his hand out for her with a disappointed expression but didn't move. She raised her eyebrows "come on get up!" She tried again with a laugh, he glared at her and still did not move so she walked around to his side of the bed, grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the bed with surprising strength.

Phillip grumbled and pulled Anne to his chest in a hug for warmth as he still wasn't wearing any clothes, "Phillip" she told him, she could tell he was pouting again but he gently pushed her away "fine I'll get dressed" he gave in.

He turned to pull clothes out the drawer, she whistled. He spun around to see her standing there, hands on hips, eyebrow raised with a smirk, "what?" He asked, "nothing beside the fact you have a great ass Carlyle" she said licking her lips, Phillip blushed but got dressed slowly giving Anne the chance to stare at his body, he felt a surge of confidence as she drooled over him, he laughed and waited for her too to dress.

They sat on his bed finally ready to leave, Phillip studied the mark on her neck, "W.D is going to kill me" he breathed with a nervous laugh, she shook her head, "it's okay, I have makeup and this" she said pointing at the mark, "will be a lot easier for me to cover up than it will be for you to hide that" she told him, she grazed the mark she too had left on his neck the night before with her thumb, he'd forgotten about that.

His eyes widened "shit you're right" he swore, Anne placed a comforting hand on his knee, "you'll be fine. D will definitely kill me though considering I'm the one who gave it to you, so wish me luck".

She got up and headed towards the door, "where are you going?" He asked, she turned and smiled "to sneak into my room to cover this up. I've got to practice but I'll see you later" she told him before slipping out the door leaving him to wonder how he could hide his neck. He sighed as he attempted to reposition his collar to cover his neck to no avail, but it was the best he could do.

He knew none of his shirts would cover his neck any better, neither would his ringmaster's jacket, he couldn't wear a scarf, it was summer, he'd just look suspicious. He hoped if he walked around as if everything was fine nobody would notice. With this thought in mind he pushed open his door and strolled confidently out to begin his day.

Anne had somehow managed to avoid most of the oddities as she had raced to her and W.D's room, the door was closed and she prayed he was asleep when she quietly opened the door and stepped inside. Much to her relief W.D wasn't in there, she walked over to her side of the room and grabbed her makeup off of the table in front of her mirror.

She sat down and examined herself, she looked a mess. Her hair was tangled and unkempt, she had small bags under her eyes from last night, the dark maroon mark on her neck stood out against her chocolate skin. She sighed and dabbed some foundation at her neck, within seconds the mark was practically gone, now barely visible. She then quickly changed into her practice clothes before anyone saw that she was wearing Phillip's clothes, she also tried to flatten down her wild hair to no avail.

Her brother came in just as she pulled her sweatbands onto her wrists, "Anne there you are, I've been looking for you, I thought you might've gotten up early to train"  
"Sorry D, I was with Phillip and he wouldn't get out of bed" Anne laughed, W.D laughed, "you need to whoop that boy's ass into shape","I'll try my best. Hey, I'll be ready in like two minutes if you want to go through our routine?" Anne suggested, he nodded "sounds good, I'll meet you on the ring".

She grabbed the bandages from her table and began to wrap her hands quickly, once she was done she jogged out to find W.D already undoing the rigging and setting up the equipment, "took you long enough" he joked without looking up at her, "boy you can shut your mouth you know I was less than two minutes" she said cocking her eyebrow at him, he finished retying the rope that secured Anne's hoop in place, "what are you going to do Annie?" He said with a cheeky grin, he was much taller and stronger than her, he was built like a tank but that didn't stop Anne from squaring up to him, "C'mon D let's just begin practice" she replied punching his arm lightly and starting her stretches.

She might've rushed her warmup slightly eager to begin, she wanted to think about last night and she always felt most focussed and clear minded when she was flying through the air. She'd given herself to Phillip, last night was her first and it was incredible, but she wondered if it'd change the dynamics of their relationship now.

W.D rose to his feet and stretched out his shoulders, "so what do you want the first thing in our new routine?" He asked, Anne put her hand on her hip, "something that'll grab their attention… What if we both flip across the ring like…" She started before running and jumping into half a dozen somersaults and front flips, she grinned as she turned around panting to look at W.D's reaction, he had a thoughtful look on his face, "yeah, yeah that could be cool! We can cross over each other and use the flare" he decided.

He repositioned himself at the side of the ring and signalled for her to go, she ran and flipped herself across the ring this time he backflipped and somersaulted across the stage too, jumping over her with ease as they met in the middle in a 540-degree flip. W.D looked at her, "that was pretty cool, so that can be how we start, what next?" He asked.

They talked about different combinations of stunts they wanted to try and what equipment to use and how long each move should talk, they decided once they crossed the stage with the fire flares, he would jump on one side of the wooden plank, launching her into the air where she'd then begin the more exciting stunts.

They ran through this a couple times, both times going flawlessly. She felt the wind rush through her hair as she shot quickly upwards for the last time, hands outstretched for her swing, she gripped it tightly then swung her legs back and forth building momentum and leapt to the other swing. Whilst she did this W.D climbed the main rope rocking it back and forth around the tent as he did so before he would release himself flying 20 feet before grabbing Anne's legs as she swung upside down. She'd then swing a few times with him holding on and he'd launch himself at the trapeze.

After they rehearsed that a few times W.D came up with the idea Anne could jump to the rope holding up her hoop, wrap the rope around her waist then let herself drop, unravelling the rope and swing herself into the hoop, she'd never attempted anything like this before, "yeah, we could try it, we might want to attempt it a bit closer to the ground a few times just in case it goes wrong" she said rubbing her hands together as she eyed up the hoop that hovered thirty foot off the ground, "why you scared?" He teased, Anne gave him a look "no but if Phillip walks in he might have a fit, give us a lecture about safety precautions" Anne replied putting on a mocking voice for safety precautions, W.D eyed up the hoop, "yeah you're right, it might be a little high for a first try" he decided before sliding down the main rope that went to the floor and adjusting the equipment.

He stayed on the ground and yelled up to Anne "you ready?", she thumbs upped before unwrapping her hands from the rope she hung from and swung herself back and forth building enough momentum to jump across the large gap and grab the other rope, she slid down a few metres making her hands get uncomfortably warm from the friction even with the hands wraps on.

She caught herself and shimmied up the rope a bit higher before twirling her body around gracefully so the rope was safely secured around her stomach, she outstretched her arm for show before shooting her arms and legs out either side of the rope so she fell sideways the rope quickly unwrapping around her, her hands grabbed the rope again when she saw she saw the rope around her body begin to run out, she jerked slightly awkwardly but let go of the rope entirely, she gripped the hoop with her feet and thrusted her body inside so she lay inside, her body curved in a U shape.

She looked at W.D for his reaction, he clapped "good job sis, just make sure your recovery isn't too jerky, it looks impressive" he praised her. Anne had no idea Phillip was sitting in the stands, watching her as she practiced, his heart felt like it was squeezed with an iron clad fist as he watched her drop and only just grab the rope in time. He was mesmerised by her talent and grace but some of the things he did scared him half to death, he was worried she'd slip or miss when she went to hold something whilst she was high up, he didn't want her to hurt herself.

Anne dropped from the hoop to the floor and rubbed her hands, they still felt hot from the friction of the rope, "D can you grab me some water" she asked, he jogged over to her, "why, did you hurt your hand?" He asked taking his sisters hand and unwrapping it to look, "it's not too bad, I just got a bit rope burnt" she said shrugging it off, he nodded and walked out of the ring to grab some water from the tank outside.

Anne looked at her red hands and rubbed them together slowly trying to relieve some of the heat, she heard footsteps coming from the opposite direction, she was confused as she'd just saw W.D walk out in front of her but she heard someone approaching her from behind, "D how did you-" She asked turning, it wasn't W.D it was Phillip.

She frowned, "hey, what're you doing here?" She asked confused, "I was watching you guys train, did you hurt yourself?" He asked glancing at her hands, she shook her head "no, it's just a friction burn, it'll be gone in an hour or so", Phillip took her hands inspecting them and turning them over as if he didn't believe her, "alright well I'm thinking about going to P.T's and having lunch with him and Charity".

Anne smiled, "sounds nice, I might come join you if I'm too busy after me and W.D finish up" she told him, he glanced at her hands once last time and then up at her eyes, "don't get yourself hurt" he nagged, she sighed "I'll be fine, now get out of here before D sees that bite on your neck and gives me the big protective brother talk" she joked pushing him away gently, Phillip laughed "see you later, have fun!" He called as he walked towards the exit.

He hadn't seen P.T in a couple weeks since he'd been trying to spend more time with his family, Phillip missed his partner, without him Phillip had to come up with the insane, stupid ideas for the next big stunt at the circus, he came up with some alright suggestions but Phillip preferred to play it safer than P.T did, the last idea P.T gave him was to get Sarah, the sword swallowing oddity, to throw knives at someone blindfolded whilst they spun on a revolving wheel.

Um, no.

He arrived at the door of the mansion and knocked excited to see P.T and Charity, they'd practically adopted him as their son, he loved having parent figures around to other him advice and love.


	3. Phillip Gets a Talking To From PT

Phillip raised his hand to knock and stepped back as he waited, he didn't have to wait long, probably only a few seconds before the door swung open to reveal a Charity Barnum smiling warmly at him, "Phillip, come in" she told him, giving him a tight hug.

He grinned and stepped inside, "how are you?" Phillip asked politely,

Charity merely waved her hand casually, "I'm fine, forget about me. How are you? Are you healing up okay?" She asked beginning to fuss over him.

He laughed and nudged her away, "Slowly but surely, it hasn't been easy but Anne has been incredible".

Charity led him into the kitchen where P.T leaned over the kitchen table, a coffee in his hand, reading the morning newspaper lying in front of him. When P.T heard Phillip and Charity walk in he straightened up and set down his drink, "good morning Phillip, you look well, the girls are still asleep".

Phillip removed his hat setting it on the table, in front of P.T, "oh good, I'll actually be able to talk to you guys for more than two seconds before I'm attacked" he joked, Charity and P.T laughed.

Charity left Phillip's side to move around to her husband's, she lay a caring hand on his back and then poured both Phillip and herself some coffee, which Phillip accepted gratefully.

"So how are things at the circus? Hope they're not falling apart without me" P.T said with a wink, Phillip laughed and sipped at his coffee, "no things are going great, the numbers are up. Word has spread and people are now interested to see New York's first interracial couple, or at least that's what the new flyers say" Phillip explained spreading his hands, P.T grinned, "you my friend are a great showman in the making" he told him wagging his finger at him, "no, I am going to be the greatest showman" Phillip corrected him.

He could see Charity studying the scars from the fire on the back of his hands and the cuts on his face, they'd healed well but they were still visible, "how is recovering going?" She asked, Phillip shot her a cheeky half smile, "you ask every time you see me, I'm still a bit sore, all the wounds have now fully closed and been repaired, they'll begin to fade slightly but the doctor reckons they're most likely going to scar" Phillip said even though he had told her pretty much the exact same thing a few weeks ago.

P.T nodded his head, "yes, yes and I assume that love bite on your neck is not permanent and will fade over the next week or so" he said in a serious tone, trying his best to keep a straight face. Phillip felt heat spread to his cheeks, Charity gasped and rushed over to Phillip to move his collar out of the way so she could get a proper look, "Phillip Carlyle!" She scolded jokily, P.T smiled at Phillip's sheepish expression, "I hope you were romantic about it and not all- you"

Phillip nodded his head, "it was amazing, I took her on our first date to the beach we had a picnic then came back to my room and made the next step in our relationship", he couldn't help but to smile, Charity held her hands over her heart, "Phillip that sounds so sweet, I'm so proud of how much you've changed".

P.T dropped his smile and leaned over the kitchen table towards Phillip, "now listen to me for a second son. I know sex is exciting especially with someone you love and I know how much of a big deal it is for you and Anne, given how unsure and nervous she is, well who can blame her with her past. But you need to be careful, you're a new couple and we both know it'll never be easy for you two. You've only been together for 3 months, you don't want any little Carlyles running around just yet. I put you in charge so I could spend time with my own family, I don't want you to have to leave soon either" he advised, Phillip nodded "don't worry, I'll be careful" he promised.

He couldn't say the thought of his and Anne's future hadn't crossed his mind before. He imagined one day getting down on one knee and asking her to spend the rest of her life with him, one day possibly being able to call Anne his wife, if they would have children or not. He knew he would certainly like children but it was too soon to be thinking about that sort of him. He tucked the fantasy of raising his children with Anne away to a safe spot in his mind he would revisit on the nights he felt lonely when Anne slept in her room with W.D

He heard the pounding of little footsteps running down the stairs, pulling him from his thoughts. He looked at P.T and Charity with a smile bracing himself, "Uncle Phillip!" Both girls cried launching themselves at him.

Anne, still at the circus had just finished an extra long training session with her brother, usually they'd only train for an hour or two but they had been rehearsing for 3 and a half hours. She felt completely exhausted, her and W.D had practised until they were too tired to go on.

W.D sat heavily on the edge of the ring, grabbing a rag and wiping his neck and face. Anne wearily limped over to the water tank, she poured her and W.D a glass before she dragged herself back to the sandpit. She too dropped heavily as she sat next to W.D, she handed him the glass he took gratefully draining it in seconds, "that was one of our best sessions yet" W.D said, she nodded mumbling in agreement as she sipped at the refreshing water, it soothed her throat and cooled her body quickly, "I like our new routine, the crowds are going to go wild" she mumbled, W.D laughed, "more than they already do".

They both sat there for a few minutes, out of breath and drained of energy, their bodies felt heavy and sore. Anne loved it though, the feeling of training and giving it all she's got until she can't push her body any further, nothing beat a hard workout. She was unsure of the time but knew Phillip wasn't back from the Barnum's yet, she decided despite her body begging to sleep she would join him as she said she would before.

With great difficulty she pulled herself to her feet and trudged back to her and W.D's room tiredly, she as fast as she could washed the sweat off her body and changed into a simple cotton grey dress and of course grabbed her favourite blue shawl she wrapped around her shoulders. q

She walked outside the tent, saying her goodbyes to W.D before leaving of course and began the impossible task of hailing a carriage. She stood on the street with her hand raised, she called out to every driver she saw, some ignored her completely, some looked at her in disgust but for half an hour not one stopped. Eventually she found a mildly racist carriage driver who begrudgingly let her climb aboard after she had begged him and promised not to talk to him. She was rather frustrated it had taken her so long to be able to find a ride to her friends but she wasn't surprised, she was quite used to this treatment by now.

She showed up on the Barnum's doorstep and knocked, P.T and Charity both opened the door, P.T chucked quietly and Charity held her finger to her lips, Anne confused stepped in and frowned but allowed them to silently guide her to the Caroline and Helen's play room. The sound of playful giggles soon filled Anne's ear but her heart was not prepared for the cutest sight she ever saw.

She stood in the open doorway and watched as Phillip spun around with Helen and Caroline both clinging to his back. The girls were exploding into fits of giggles and Phillip himself was grinning and laughing with them, they jumped from his back and let him chase them around the room. Anne knew Phillip was good with the girls, but she'd never seen him with this happy, loving expression on his face, he was so gentle yet playful with them, none of them had spotted her yet.

Anne leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed with an adoring look on her face, her heart swelled as she saw the man she loved handle the children so well, she couldn't help but let her mind wander to the possibility of her and Phillip having kids of their own one day, she knew Phillip would be an amazing father, she was unsure if he really wanted children of his own though. She knew he loved spending time with the girls, and she also knew she had a caring heart with great qualities that would make a good dad. He'd want to be nothing like his own father and would be everything he wished he had, but would he want to have Anne's kids?

It wouldn't be easy, for them or their kids. Their kids would most likely be outcasts of society like Anne was, they'd be mocked for the colour of their skin or for having a black mother but her heart ached as she saw Phillip with Caroline and Helen.

Phillip had finally spotted Anne, he looked up with the cutest expression on his face, her heart raced as he gave her a sweet smile. He walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and hugging her, "hey, how was training?" He asked, his eyes gleamed with joy.

Anne nodded, "it was good, I'm very tired though", Phillip frowned "would you like to go home?" He asked her, she shook her head, "don't be silly of course not! I just got here"

Phillip nodded then looked at the girls and grinned again, "we were just playing Circus would you like to play?" He asked, damn that boy was cute. He had the most adorable grin on his face, his deep blue eyes twinkled with excitement, Anne all but nodded.

"In that case we'll leave you to it" Charity said, turning with her husbands hand in hers, "oh c'mon you too you're not excluded from this" Phillip said with a smile, "yeah c'mon Dad you can be Phillip" Helon cried, "Can I be myself?" Anne giggled, the girls dramatically stroked their faces as they thought, "yes but only if Phillip is W.D" Caroline decided, Anne pretended to pout "aww, if Phillip is W.D I can't do this" she said before grabbing Phillip's face in her hands and kissing him, "ew!" The girls cried miming throwing up. They all laughed

It was decided Anne was Anne, Phillip was W.D, P.T was Phillip, Charity was also herself, Helon was Lettie and Caroline was P.T.

Caroline cleared her throat dramatically, "alright people I want big! Anne I want you to jump off something, W.D catch Anne, Phillip no kissing Anne on the job! Charity and I are going to pretend to watch from the stands but really we're just going to fall asleep" Caroline said in her best P.T impression, P.T had to stop himself from laughing, "is that what you think we do?" He asked trying his best to hold in his laughter, Charity slapped his arm and he grinned.

Anne looked at Phillip before jumping on top of the chair in the playroom and leaping dramatically in the air, Phillip knee slid and caught her almost leaning in to kiss her but Anne jumped out of his arms and did a backflip, "thanks bro" she said with a smile, enjoying teasing her boyfriend. Caroline pointed to Helen, "give me a new song go!" She commanded, Helen giggled and pulled her hair around her face to make a beard and made up a song about the circus, Caroline nodded a cool expression on her face, "that's good enough do that tonight and make me rich, Charity let's go, I'm going to buy you something pretty" Caroline said attempting to wink.

Everyone exploded into fits of laughter, P.T gave Phillip an evil expression, "Sir, you can't do that the finance says-" He began in a weak and whimpering voice, he smiled sweetly at the real Phillip, "forget the finances! I am Phineas Taylor Barnum! I can do anything!" Caroline giggled back, "Sir I think Anne's stunts are getting too dangerous. The government are starting to make laws and about health and safety we need to follow" P.T teased again, Caroline waved her hand dramatically, "forget the laws! Anne I want bigger!" She cried.

Anne did something that surprised all of them, she ran towards the wall running up it and kicking off so she flipped backwards landing gracefully in the splits, everyone looked at her with their mouths wide open. She just smiled and looked at Phillip, "W.D would you care to help your little _sister_ up please?" She asked holding out her hand, Phillip shook his head and lifted her by the waist, setting her on her feet again. P.T laughed, "okay no seriously, I want _that_ " he said pointing to Anne.


	4. The Fight

After Phillip and Anne had thanked the Barnums for having them over they hailed a carriage back home. Anne could barely stifle her yawns and found it difficult to stay awake the whole ride home so Phillip had promised she could sleep in his bed when they arrived back at the circus. When she fell asleep on the way back leaning on him, her head on his shoulder he decided to carry her inside and put her to bed himself so he needed not to wake her. He knew she hard trained hard today, tiring herself out, she could use the sleep before tonight's show. He had actually managed to fall asleep with her for a few hours. W.D woke them up an hour before the show so they could get themselves ready.

That night the show had not gone as well as Phillip hoped it would, they had the largest crowd they'd ever had, unfortunately that also meant they had more hecklers than the usual few. They had a large group of men who spent all night yelling obscenities and distracting the acts. That was all well and good for the acts such as Constantine, the fully tattooed man. Constantine was a tough guy, the words bounced off him harmlessly and his focus was unshaken. However it was a little dangerous for acts like Frank the fire-eater or even Anne.

Anne had nearly gotten herself hurt as a result of the hecklers. Her and W.D were performing their new routine they had choreographed that day, W.D of course was able to completely ignore the men but Anne found herself glancing at them every now and then, she found it hard to block out their racist slurs they screamed from the stands. One man caught her attention when she was in the middle of her aerial tricks, she had leapt from W.D's grip high above the ring to her hoop and at that moment he had screamed at Anne how he hoped she would miss and fall to her death, he screamed such graphic things Anne turned her head, unable to ignore his harsh words and she wasn't looking where she was jumping. She'd nearly missed the hoop, she almost failed to grab onto the metal circle, if she hadn't barely grasped her fingers around it at the last second she would've fell head first 35 feet down. As it was the crowd noticed she was distracted and gasped as she hung from one hand her fingers slipping, she in her panic forgot to act like it was all meant to happen, "W.D!" She cried as her fingers lost their grip, luckily W.D was able to quickly jump to one of the free ropes, swinging across the stage and grabbing Anne around her waist as she fell. They had to cut their act short as Anne was too shaken up to continue.

Phillip watched Anne fall in slow motion, he couldn't breathe and turned white in fear, his heart shattered as he thought W.D had missed Anne, he felt a rush of relief when he saw her brother catch her safely. His fear turned to pure anger as he glared from the stands at the man who had nearly cost his Anne her life. All the other acts were growing annoyed he could tell but he told them all to just fake their smiles until the end, they would go out after the show to blow off steam he promised.

At the end of the show when Phillip kissed Anne for the crowds as he always did he heard the men shouting disgusting phrases he wouldn't wish to repeat. Phillip's grip on Anne's waist tightened as he clenched his jaw and kissed her harder in response to the hecklers. W.D glared at the men after Phillip had thanked the crowds for coming and having a safe journey home, once again as he always did. The second the oddities were backstage they began to rant about how horrible the men were and the vile things they yelled at them.

Phillip looked at Anne, she was shaking, still upset by what had happened in her act, "hey are you okay?" Phillip asked her stupidly, she didn't look at him or respond for several seconds but then turned to him with a blank, neutral expression he could tell she put on to cover her emotions, "I nearly missed, I've never missed in my entire life" she muttered numbly, "I know, I'm sorry" he told her pulling her to her chest.

The hecklers had gotten to nearly everyone tonight in one way or another, Phillip tried not to let his anger get the best of him but it was difficult. How dare those drunk bastards make his friends feel that way. He was more than just their boss, he cared for each and every one of them and tonight could've easily ended very differently.

As the anger bubbled inside of him he began to feel overwhelmed, he gripped Anne's hand tightly, "hey why don't we go for a walk?" He suggested in an attempt to escape the room that started to feel too stuffy, Anne nodded, "it'll give us a chance to clear our heads" she agreed.

Phillip led her out of the back exit and they began to walk down the street, he wanted to avoid the men he had no doubt were still loitering around somewhere. Phillip and Anne had barely walked anywhere when they saw the men walking around the back of the tent towards them. Once they spotted Phillip and Anne they started to scream at them, things like "hey go back to where you came from freak!", "this is our town go wash your dirty skin!" "We don't want spooks like you around here!"

Phillip tensed and looked at Anne who was trying her best to put on a brave face and ignore their words, Phillip pulled her back as they fast approached on her, planning to forget the walk and take her back inside safely when he spotted someone in the crowd who look suspiciously like his older brother Harvey. "Hey look it's Mr Pretty Boy Carlyle who ran away and joined the circus" he taunted, Phillip dropped Anne's hand and whispered for her to go back inside before storming ahead to meet the crowd of men.

Anne stayed where she was and watched, "hey shut up Harvey, go home and take your bastard friends with you" Phillip warned, "just because you live a disgusting life with those freaks" a man yelled at him, Phillip clenched his fists, "you will not talk that way about my friends, this is my circus and you will get the hell off of my property" Phillip demanded angrily, "we don't take orders from a circus freak" one of the other guys in the crowd spat, "you had money, status and a large inheritance and you threw it away for what? Some black whore who doesn't care about you?" Harvey laughed.

At this statement Anne who had been watching from several feet away stormed forward and glared at them giving them a look so fierce even Phillip was surprised but they didn't seem phased, "you will not tell me what I do or don't feel, I love this man more than you or any of his other so called family do" she shouted, her voice dripping with hatred.

"Oh look, the mulatto can speak" jeered a man standing next to the man responsible for Anne's almost fatal accident.

Phillip's eyes widened, he realised it was no ordinary man it was his cousin, David.

Anne flinched at the racist slur, Phillip's anger flared, "say one more thing about her I swear to god" he warned furiously, "why're you protecting your slave? She's nothing but a filthy negro who needs to fuck off back to where she's from, I bet you she's a rape baby".

Anne turned pale and began to cry, the words sank through her dirty skin and echoed in her head, she put her hands to her ears and shook her head as she sobbed. Phillip looked at her and lost his temper, how dare they hurt her like that. At this point the oddities could hear the commotion outside and started to come out to see what was going on, W.D started towards Anne, he heard what they had said.

"How dare you! I'll kill you" Phillip growled unable to control himself any more, he started towards the men but Anne took his arm and tugged him back "no" she sobbed through her tears. Suddenly Phillip's cousin surged forward, "don't you touch my cousin you disgusting filthy nigger" he screamed raising his hand to slap her.

Then everything broke into chaos, W.D prised Anne away from Phillip and pulled her away quickly towards the others, he gave her over to Charles who took her inside. Phillip ran forward tackling David and knocking him to the ground, Phillip roared in anger and punched him hard in the face. The other men charged Phillip, pushing him off David and beating and kicking him as he tried to fight them off.

All the oddities rushed to Phillip's aid and began to fight the hecklers W.D smashed two men's heads to the floor knocking them unconscious before he was overwhelmed when three men leaped onto his back, pulling him to the floor, when he was down they went back to attacking Phillip.

Lettie punched a man in the face before running for safety back into the tent, Walter the dog boy bit and kicked anyone who came close, Oliver the Irish Giant easily took down several men but many continued to beat Phillip as he lay on the ground struggling to fight back.

Phillip had managed to get in a good amount of punches and left most of his attackers with blacks eyes or bloody noses but he had five men on him two of which were Harvey and David. They kicked at him and punched him until Phillip stopped moving. He was in extreme pain and could hardly breathe.

The sound of police sirens sent all the men running, Harvey looked down at his brother, giving him one more kick where it hurt "don't bother coming back home, you're a disgrace to the Carlyle name" he spat before taking off into the night too.

The oddities all retreated quickly back into the tent, W.D helped the other injured oddities back inside before he ran out with Anne and Constantine.

Phillip was still conscious but he wished he wasn't, his face was bleeding profusely and he was in extreme agony. A lot of his wounds from the fire were reopened and he was bruised practically everywhere. He had two black eyes and a broken nose for sure, he wasn't sure about anything else. He just knew he hurt everywhere, "Phillip!" Anne cried rushing to his side, she was still crying and only cried harder when she saw him. She knelt by his side and touched his face tentatively, Phillip hissed at the contact and she pulled her hand away.

"Constantine, help me carry him inside. Anne go call for an ambulance" W.D commanded but Anne shook her head, "I won't leave him". The two men as gently as they could picked Phillip up by his arm pits and dragged him inside, his head rolled, he was in too much pain to move at all.

He felt W.D's and Constantines strong hands rest him on a desk of the acts use in the show. Everyone began to crowd around him, Anne by his side of course. He could tell he had it way worse than anyone else in the fight, he looked at Anne's worried, tear stained face, crying out as he did so he tried to lift his hand to her cheek to wipe away the tears before his vision gave in and he blacked out.


	5. Phillip Wakes Up

Phillip felt confused when he woke up, he couldn't remember what had happened but he felt agony everywhere, he cried out in pain. He heard a soft gasp and opened his eyes to see Anne sitting next to his legs on his bed, wait no. Not his bed, a hospital bed.

She was resting one light hand on his leg and held his hand in hers as she gently caressed his fingers, Phillip could see how weary and emotional she was. Her face was sticky and wet with tears, she had dark bags under her eyes, she had worry lines in her forehead as she frowned. But as she looked at him she gave him a weak smile, he knew she was just tired, he could see in her eyes how happy she was, her face painted an expression of pure relief after a heavy load of stress.

He winced as he tried to sit up, pain shot through his body and he dropped his arm again, "what happened?" He asked closing his eyes, she let out a laugh of relief "you were an idiot", Phillip opened his eyes again, trying for his usual cheeky smile but only managing what he could imagine looked more like a grimace, "yeah but what's new?" He joked, she shook her head and wiped her eyes with her spare hand.

She was trying not to focus on how broken he looked. He was covered in cuts and bruises, both eyes had dark purple and green bruising, his nose had now been set straight but was still covered in dry blood. She could see how uncomfortable he was.  
"There was a group of guys, they said something pretty racist, horrible things and you decided you'd try and take on over ten men by yourself" she said, it all came back to him.

 _He felt a burning wave of anger course through his veins. He roared in anger and tackled David to the ground. He straddled him and punched him in the face, putting all of his weight behind it, he heard a satisfying crack and raised his arm again to get another punch in when he felt the weight of about ten men push him off. His head hit the floor with a painful thud, he was immediately surrounded by the large crowd of men. They began to punch and kick his face and torso, he struggled to get up but was forced again, he punched and kicked every one he could until one of the guys stood on his wrists restraining him painfully to the ground where he lay defenseless._

 _Phillip looked to where Anne was being rushed inside by W.D then Charles, she looked back and her face broke into a pained, worried expression as Phillip lay on the ground being beaten senseless. He groaned in pain every time their blows made contact, "Anne" he whimpered, it was so quiet nobody could hear him._

 _He heard shouting as he watched the oddities attempt to drag some of the men off of him, W.D took on five of the guys but he only managed to knock out two of them before he too was forced to the floor and the three men ran back and started kicking at Phillip again. Small fights broke out everywhere leaving Phillip with now five guys._

 _They kicked at his ribs, the pain was so intense Phillip gasped for breath, it became harder and harder to take in air. His head felt heavy and throbbed painfully where he'd hit the ground, everything was starting to spin and he felt like throwing up, but he knew if he did he would just choke to death on his vomit._

 _Phillip saw Harvey crouch down and give his little brother an ugly smile before he punched him hard 7 times in the face. He heard his nose crack and blood began to pour down his chin, he could taste it in his mouth. He was barely able to turn and spit, he closed his eyes unable to bare this torturous pain. It felt like he'd laid there forever, his whole body felt both numb and excruciatingly painful._

 _He prayed that it would be over soon, "Anne" he whimpered again, he was ashamed to admit he started to cry. Not from the pain however agonising it was, but for how useless he felt. He couldn't defend Anne, he couldn't protect her from the hurtful words those pricks said, and it wasn't just them. Anne faced racism every time she stepped out of the safety of her home, just because her skin was darker than everyone else's. He just wanted to keep her safe, to make her happy. He didn't care what happened to him, he loved her and only wanted to give her a life she deserved._

 _He could no longer move, his eyes peeled open and looked towards the circus tent where he hoped Anne was safe. At long last Phillip heard sirens and the men stopped and ran. Harvey kicked him where it hurt, hard. He groaned and rolled onto his side and cupped his sore spot, Harvey looked down at him with pure hate. "_ _don't bother coming back home, you're a disgrace to the Carlyle name_ " _he spat before he ran too._

 _What happened next was a blur, he heard Anne's voice but she sounded distant and muffled, he couldn't make out her words. She touched his face and he hissed, it felt hot and swollen, she pulled away. He thinks he was carried inside but the details were_ _vague._

"I'm so sorry" Phillip said, his voice cracked with emotion and he looked at the ceiling, unable to look at Anne's face. "Why're you sorry? You're not the one who should be sorry, _I'm_ sorry" she said, he could barely bring himself to look at her but he managed to shift his eyes to her hands, "I couldn't protect you, I couldn't-" He paused, a sob racked through his body and he couldn't hold it back. She ever so gently cupped his cheek and he looked into her eyes, she looked so worried, so tired, so stressed. It was all his fault, "baby no, don't, it's not your fault. It's mine, I'm the wrong colour, you shouldn't have to be the one to pay for it" she said passionately. He only just noticed the rash covering both of her arms, from her wrist to her elbow.

He realised she'd been scratching at her skin, trying to scrub the black off. He felt anger rising up his throat again, he looked at her wishing he could hold in his arms, "don't you dare say that" he said angrily, she flinched. He softened his tone slightly, the anger was still present "don't you dare say that about yourself. You are not the wrong colour, you are perfect and nobody has the right to make you feel any different. I love you so fucking much Anne Wheeler, I will never stop loving you, don't you ever say that again" he told her.

She nodded, "I love you too, I'm so sorry you're here in the hospital. Again. Because of me, you should never have done that, you're stupid to have tried to take them all on" she said looking at his bruised hands.

He smiled, "hey can you kiss me? You look really good right now but I'm in too much pain to move" he told her, she smiled slightly and stood up, leaning over him and pressing her lips softly to his lips. Even kissing her hurt real bad, but it was definitely worth it.

Just then a doctor came in, he cleared his throat and glared at Anne, Phillip glared at him, "what do you want?" Phillip asked him coldly, the doctor glared at Anne for a few seconds more before he looked at Phillip, "your diagnosis of injuries came back and it's not good" he said, Phillip could tell he was probably holding back some racist comment, "what's wrong with Phillip?" Anne asked worriedly, the doctor exhaled hard through his nose and clenched his jaw, he refused to look at Anne but he reluctantly answered her "it'd be easier to tell you what's not wrong with Mr Carlyle. The full diagnosis is, broken ribs, a serious concussion, his left arm is broken in two places, his leg is badly fractured, he has a broken nose and extreme external and internal bleeding. Not only that but most of his previous wounds have been reopened" he said gravely.

He told them he would be back later to cast Phillip's arm and leg and he would need to clean his wounds, he seemed hesitant at the idea of returning, though it was more likely the idea of being in the presence of a black girl.

Anne looked at Phillip with worry and hugged him as carefully as she could "oh Phil" she said beginning to cry again.


	6. Anne's Biggest Secret

**Attention, I know a few of you have spotted there's been errors in uploading the previous chapters. The site has experienced a few bugs recently but I have now in theory fixed them all and there should be no problems from now on, if there is just drop a review or message me and I will correct the error. That is all, enjoy the chapter. Thank you.**

Anne sat by Phillip's side watching the difficult rise and fall of his chest whilst he slept, the doctor had told her, well more the room than her, he refused to speak to her directly, that because of his concussion Phillip would feel tired a lot of the time and he'd spend a lot of time sleeping.

He looked so broken as he lay there in bed, both his arm and leg were set in a cast, his head and hands were bandaged, most of his skin was black or blue from bruising and all the cuts and wounds from the fire had reopened. He was a sight for sore eyes and looking at him all she felt was guilt.

In the quiet moments like these she could hear the men's words echoing in her head.  
 _"Why're you protecting your slave",_  
 _"go wash your dirty skin",_  
 _"disgusting filthy nigger",_  
 _"I bet you she's a rape baby"_  
They all played over and over again. She hated the quiet moments, she needed something to distract her, something to drown out the leering voices that pulled at her memory, pulling out flashbacks she didn't want to relive.

She looked around frantic for something she could do but the room was empty and Phillip was asleep. She could feel her emotions rising in her chest, she was on the brink of a memory, it was too traumatic to experience heart raced, her breath quickened, she began to sweat. She knew she needed to calm herself down but the voices got louder and angrier. She felt it build up inside of her until... It was too late.

She fell to the floor and began to shake uncontrollably. Nobody but W.D knew Anne had a problem, when she became too stress and became overwhelmed or when she had flashbacks or experienced anything traumatising, she had seizures. It was called a factitious seizure but Anne hated it, she tried to avoid it all costs and she refused to tell anyone about her condition. ]

Anne prayed nobody came in as she lay on the floor violently convulsing, she was still conscious inside her head, she was fully aware of everything going on around her but she couldn't do anything but lie there and wait for the seizure to be over. Her arms and legs shook and she repeated smacked her head against the floor painfully, she grunted slightly as her body shook. She was trapped inside of her head with no control over her body, she struggled in her head trying to stop herself, she felt frustrated when she knew she couldn't.

She heard the door swing open, she cursed inside her head. Footsteps running towards her, she wanted more than anything to open her eyes or be able to say something, she willed her mouth open as hard as she could, she wanted to be able to say something, get her words out but all that came out was an incoherent "nynmp".

She felt someone gently touch her shoulder as she began to shake more violently. The stress of being caught made her seizure worse and she felt herself lose even more control. "Anne, it's W.D. I'm here, don't worry" he coaxed quietly, she relaxed inside her head, he was the only one who knew she had stress induced seizures, she was relieved she wouldn't have to try and explain to someone why they found her fitting on the floor.

She felt W.D's hand leave her shoulder and his footsteps told her he was walking away, he ran back and lifted Anne's head, putting a pillow underneath it so she wouldn't hurt herself.  
W.D knelt next to her, saying comforting things and stroking her hair. The more she relaxed the less her body shook, she started gaining control back again. She was able to open her eyes, but she was still convulsing, W.D's face was worried yet focussed.

Anne's eyes shot to Phillip, she hoped W.D would understand, W.D looked over at Phillip and nodded, "he's still asleep, don't worry. You're fine Anne, just relax" he confirmed, Anne slowly began to stop twitching. Her seizure had come to an end.

She lay there silently for a few moments feeling a wave of exhaustion wash over her like it always did, she cursed quietly. She hated having seizures, she felt so vulnerable and embarrassed.

W.D allowed Anne to recover for a few minutes before offering her his hand and pulling to her feet, "what brought it on?" He asked, Anne took a deep breathe, "their words are stuck inside my head, playing over and over on repeat".

Anne glanced nervously at Phillip, afraid he might wake up and find out what just happened, "I take it he doesn't know" W.D asked.  
Anne shook her head, smoothing out her dress and grabbing the pillow from the floor, "no, he doesn't and I'd like it to stay that way" she said, it came out harsher than she meant it to.

W.D grabbed her shoulder and spun her around when she turned to place the pillow back on the empty bed next to Phillip's, "he needs to know Anne, you've got to tell him" he told her.

She spun around to face him, "what am I supposed to do? He's in hospital D, he's got enough on his plate as it is! I can't just drop this on him now!" Anne whisper yelled back, frantically gesturing to a sleeping Phillip.  
Phillip stirred slightly mumbling in his sleep, Anne and W.D both froze as they watched him, but Phillip just shifted slightly and settled his head back on the pillow.

W.D turned back to Anne, "okay maybe not now but you need to tell him, what if when he gets out you suddenly have a flashback and go into a seizure, he won't know what's happening and you'll scare the poor boy half to death!" He whispered.

Anne sighed but she knew he was right, the thing is she'd barely revealed any of her past to Phillip, she didn't want to, it was hard to talk about and she was worried of how Phillip might react. It was a lot to take in especially with the added weight of her seizures on top of it all.

Phillip moved his hand in his sleep, searching the bed. "Anne" he mumbled, W.D looked at her "you better go to him, have you eaten?" He asked, Anne shook her head before walking back to Phillip's side.

Phillip relaxed and smiled in his sleep when he found her hand, "right, I'm going to go grab you some food, I'll be back then we can talk more about Phillip" he promised. Anne sighed but nodded as she looked down at Phillip again. W.D left silently, leaving her alone with him again.

Anne considered what W.D had said, she decided she would tell Phillip when he started to get better, but not yet. A small nagging part of her worried that Phillip might not love her anymore when he discovered Anne's past and learnt about all the traumatic experiences she'd been through but rationally she knew Phillip really did love her, they'd been together 3 months and it had meant everything to her. She knew it mattered to him too or he wouldn't have taken a beating to blindly protect her.

She still worried of course, she loved him so much. She just wished he would recover quickly, she hated seeing him in pain like this.


	7. The Headline

Phillip had been in the hospital for about a week now, P.T had taken over at the circus and he told Anne she could have as much time off as she needed, W.D promised her he would manage without her for a while if she wanted to take care of Phillip.

Anne helped Phillip massively, he didn't know how he would've coped if he didn't have Anne by his side. She was fiercely loyal to him refusing to leave for any longer than two minutes when she had to go to the restroom or get food. She would give him sponge baths, help him to eat, dress him and do pretty much anything he needed without complaint.

He was thankful she was there but Phillip began to feel frustrated as he lay in the hospital bed, he was under strict bed rest and could only get up to go the bathroom, even when he did he would need to lean heavily on Anne as he stumbled to the rest room.

He hated being so dependent on Anne, he knew she didn't mind but he hated being restricted to the hospital bed 24/7, he felt so useless. He was in too much pain to do anything but stay in bed and stare at the blank wall ahead of him.

He was completely clueless to any events on the outside, whenever P.T, or Lettie, or W.D came to visit they would steer clear on any news on the circus or business, they would also avoid all of his questions. This didn't help on Phillip's desire to be able to do more than lie in bed isolated from the world.

Anne sat next to him on the bed, stroking his hand and telling him about her childhood dog she and W.D owned, she wore a sad nostalgic smile on her face as she talked about her old friend. Phillip hummed in response to show he was listening but he couldn't help to feel distract as he thought of the circus again, he wondered if the men that attacked him came back or if they stayed away after the incident.

Anne noticed he was starting to zone out, "hey what's wrong?" She asked, bringing his attention back to her, he sighed "I hate being stuck here like this, I want to know what's happening outside" he complained, Anne pursed her lips, she must be growing tired of this conversation, Phillip was too but nothing ever changed.

"I know baby, but the most important thing right now is you getting better" she reminded him, "I know but why does that mean no one will tell me what's going on, I'm a grown man, I'm sure I can handle whatever there is"

He didn't mean to sound so whiny, he felt like a dog begging to be taken for a walk, he longed to be part of the outside world again. Anne cast her eyes to the ceiling as she thought, "P.T is coming to visit today, you can try asking again just don't get too annoyed if he doesn't tell you, he doesn't want to worry you" she said trying to calm Phillip, "so there's something to worry about?" He said attempting to catch her out, "Phillip" she said sternly, he sighed again "fine, I'll ask P.T" he resigned.

At that moment the door swung open, "ask me what?" P.T asked with a smile as he walked across the room to join them. He grabbed a chair from the empty bed next to them and sat down next to Anne.

Phillip started to pull himself up, Anne got up and helped him before taking a seat again. "I want to know what's gone on since I've been in here, it's driving me crazy being stuck in here not knowing" he begged, P.T looked at Anne who gave him a cautious look, "Phil I'm not sure it's-" he began, Phillip's face fell, "come on please, do you have any idea how mind numbingly dull it is in here, I'm at wits end, give me some news, please" he pleaded.

P.T hesitated, studying Phillip's desperate face and then sighed, "alright" he decided, he pulled a folded-up newspaper from his pocket and dropped it on the bed at Phillip's knees.

Phillip grinned and snatched up the paper with his good hand and read the front page hungrily. The headline was about the circus, " _Phillip Carlyle from P.T Barnum's Circus hospitalised after attacking a group of men after attending show_ ". Phillip frowned as he read the article.

Anne and P.T watched him with concern written over their face, "no this is bullshit!" Phillip cried as he read how the reported had twisted the story. He winced as he yelled and grabbed his head, his headache pounded painfully against his skull.

According to the article Phillip had sought out the men after the show and randomly attacking them with no reason, the men were painted as innocent victims and Phillip a vicious monster. P.T gently pulled the paper from Phillip's hands, Phillip glared at the article as if he could change the words if he scowled at them hard enough, "now you can see why we've been trying to hide this from you" P.T said his voice soft.

Phillip wanted to find that reporter or the men who had undoubtedly spread how cruel Phillip had been. Anne took the paper and read the article silently, she too held an angry expression on her face but he could tell she was attempting to stay calm for him, "I take it business has gone down then" Phillip rubbed his forehead, "oh yes, it's sunk like a rock" P.T joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Phillip felt even worse than he did before, "have you tried selling the tickets for half price until sales improve?" He suggested, P.T nodded, "it helped somewhat but due to this headline we've lost most of our customers" he grimaced, Phillip growled in frustration, "how about free tickets for kids?" Phillip tried, P.T considered this for a second "that may help, I'll give it a try" he said, that made Phillip feel slightly better.

P.T looked at Anne's stoic face, "how long until Phillip can go home?" He asked trying to steer away from the sensitive subject and onto something more pleasant, "the doctor says they want to keep Phil in a few more days to make sure he doesn't have any serious damage to his brain, if they think he's alright he's free to go on Tuesday" she said beaming.

The thought of going home cheered Phillip up, he'd be able to sleep in an actual bed and eat food that didn't taste like vomit. Phillip manged a grin, "it'll be great to be back home, I won't have to take the disgusting medicine they give me here everyday" he said gagging at the thought of the slimy foul tasting liquid, Anne raised her eyebrows "uh yes you will" she said with her hands on her hips, Phillip pouted "no please don't make me" he tried, Anne said nothing but continue to look at him strictly, "Anne please it slides down your throat like a liquid eel" he begged, "if you want to get better you're taking it whether you like it or not she said firmly. Phillip sulked at her.

P.T watched them and laughed, he mimed a whip mimicking the sound, Phillip and Anne both turned to him, "oh shut up Barnum, we both know Charity has you wrapped around her finger" Phillip retorted with a smile, Anne laughed "boy you're more whipped than a horse on a busy day" she told him sassily, "well until Phillip's back on his feet just remember who signs your pay check" he joked.

Phillip started to grow tired again, he only spent about 6 hours a day awake. Anne noticed his eyes beginning to droop, Phillip yawned, "P.T I think it's best if you allow Phillip to sleep now, thank you for visiting" she said sweetly, he nodded "of course, get better soon buddy" he told Phillip, tapping his arm before leaving.

Phillip smiled sleepily at Anne, "thank you for taking care of me" he said moving his hand wearily to hold hers. She smiled at his touch then looked into his eyes with her beautiful hazel eyes, "of course, I love you. I'll take care of you when you get home too, until you've recovered enough to begin to move around again" she promised, Phillip smiled again "I love you too" he breathed before he fell asleep.


	8. Phillip Goes Home

Phillip had two nightmares that night, both jarring him to the bone, they magnified some of his biggest fears.

The first nightmare Phillip had that night started when he was back in his old apartment with Anne, he still technically opened the apartment but he preferred his room at the circus.

 _He and Anne were cuddled up on Phillip's sofa, they were both reading when Phillip heard a knock at the door, he kissed Anne on the cheek before going to answer it._

 _When he opened the door he found his mother, his father and Harvey stood there with grim expressions and hate in their eyes "Phillip let us in we need to talk" they all said creepily in unison, Phillip stood to the side of the door with his arm outstretched and let them in shutting the door behind them._

 _He turned around and they were gone so he walked back to the living room where Anne was, Anne remained on the sofa but his parents and Harvey stood next to the sofa in an odd formation, his parents standing behind Harvey so they stood in a staged triangle._

 _They regarded Phillip coldly as he entered the room, "Phillip you're quitting the circus and coming home with us, say goodbye to Anne forever" his mother said emotionlessly, Phillip shook his head "no you can't make me do that" Phillip said._

 _His father grinned, his face was dark and evil, "oh yeah? Don't you want this?" He asked, he pulled a bottle of expensive whiskey from behind his back, Phillip trembled at the sight, he longed to run forward and grab the whiskey, draining it in one. Harvey smiled knowing it was working, he looked at his parents with the same dark smile his father possessed "come home and you can have all the whiskey you want" he promised, Phillip looked at Anne, her face twisted from her usual loving caring expression to a look of disgust towards Phillip._

 _He felt his feet move without him commanding them to, he wasn't in control of his body, he took the whiskey bottle from his father and drained it in one quick gulp. He hated himself for giving in, "how could you" his mother shrieked at him._

 _His family began to grow towering over him, "you're a disgrace to the Carlyle name, you'll never achieve anything" Harvey said, his voice growing defeaning and echoing all around Phillip, "I'm so disappointed in you, I never want to see you again, you're not my son" Phillip's father screamed with pure rage, he lashed out and punched Phillip. He fell to the floor, "I hate you, how could you leave me like that, I thought you loved me" his mother sobbed._

 _Phillip crawled backwards, away from their looming figures, he covered his ears and turned to Anne for comfort. He scrambled to his feet and attempted to hug himself to her as he felt tears begin to escape his eyes._

 _Anne pushed him away harshly, "don't touch me!" She screamed at him, he stumbled, his arms caught by his father and Harvey, "Anne?" He struggled against his family's strong grip that grew tighter._

 _Anne regarded him with a look of pure anger and hatred, "get away from me, I never loved you" she spat seething with anger, she slapped him hard across the face, "you are nothing but a disgusting waste of space alcoholic, no one will ever love you. I never loved you and I never will" she laughed cruelly._

 _Phillip watched his heart broken as she glared at him with pure hatred, his family dragged him away cackling evilly, he couldn't tear his eyes from Anne as he got further and further from her._

Phillip woke up with a start but must've fallen asleep again as he found himself in another nightmare.

 _This time he was back at the circus, outside with Anne as he was on the night of the fight he was holding her hand as they faced the aggressive group of men throwing racist slurs at Anne._

 _Phillip dropped her hand as he did before, "How dare you! I'll kill you" he growled angrily before lashing out to attack the men, Anne grabbed his arm and tugged him back, "no" she sobbed._

 _David surged forward for Anne again hand raised to slap her, this time there was no W.D to pull her away, Phillip couldn't move fast enough. Anne cried out in pain as he slapped her hard across her cheek, she fell backwards, stumbling. A red mark appeared on her cheek._

 _The men charged for her and Phillip, two men grabbed Phillip and the rest targeted Anne, she was thrown to the floor. They begin to punch and kick her as the men forced Phillip to watch. He struggled against their grip but they wouldn't let him go._

 _Anne looked up at Phillip from the floor as she was attacked, her eyes filled with pain and betrayal, "Phillip! Help!" She choked, crying out in pain as the men beat her._

 _They all laughed as Phillip struggling to escape the two men's grip holding him back, "Anne!" Phillip cried as he fought as hard as he could._

 _Anne cried as she took blow after blow, she was bleeding profusely and bruises began to form everywhere, she continued calling for Phillip, begging for help. Her eyes never left his for a second._

 _Phillip sobbed and screamed out for help as he was forced to watch his lover being beaten to death in front of him, he felt sick and heartbroken. Unable to stand the sight anymore he tried to look away but he couldn't move his head, he tried to squeeze his eyes shut but he couldn't do that either._

 _Anne's eyes began to roll into head and the men pushed Phillip onto the ground next to her and laughed one last time before taking off running._

 _Phillip crawled to Anne's side and cradled her head as he sobbed, her breathing was raspy and uneven, he knew she was dying and quickly. "Anne" Phillip sobbed, stroking her cheek and holding her head in his lap._

 _Her tears washed through the blood pouring from cuts on her face, she looked into Phillip's eyes as her eyes drooped, already half shut. He could see the suffering in her eyes, she looked so beaten and frail. He shook his head, "no, no please don't leave me!" He cried, Anne took one last breath "Phillip" she croaked before her eyes shut completely and her head rolled in his hands, falling completely limp._

 _Phillip screamed in grief, "no! No! Anne!" He tried, shaking her shoulder slightly, her eyes didn't open, nor did she take another breath "Anne please! I love you! Please don't go!" He begged. Again she didn't stir or react at all, she just lay there in his arms, still and dead "no!" Phillip screamed in pure torture._

Phillip woke with a start he was sobbing heavily, he felt completely distraught, he was heartbroken, Anne had died in front of him and he couldn't do anything about it.

Anne was sitting by his side, her face painted with concern, she took his hand. He looked at her as he cried, "Anne" he sobbed, relief ran through his body, "hey shh, it's okay, I'm here" she soothed, she stood from her chair she slept in and hugged him gently to her chest, careful not to hurt him.

Phillip cried into her chest as he held her as tightly as his body let him, his hands were in her hair and around her shoulders, he gripped her as firmly as he could without hurting her. His sobs hiccupped as he struggled for breath. He was so glad she was here, alive. He was afraid if he let her go she wouldn't be real, she really would be dead if he released her for even a second.

Anne rubbed his back and hushed him as he cried, "hey hey, calm down, you're alright, I'm here baby" she whispered as he shook in her arms. Eventually he began to stop, he took deep breaths but refused to release her, "you're alive" he gasped still hysterical, Anne nodded against him "I'm okay, don't worry Phil, calm down now, everything's fine" she promised.

He finally released her, she perched on his bed next to him holding his hand tightly in hers. He was grateful for the contact, he relaxed slightly as he realised she actually was real and she hadn't really died in front of him, she was okay.

Anne ran her delicate fingers through his hair and studied his face with concern, "you were crying and screaming my name in your sleep, I couldn't wake you up" she told him gently, Phillip sniffed "I had the worst nightmares, you-" Phillip tried before breaking down in tears again.

Anne's hand moved to his cheeks and wiped away his tears, "hey, shhh, you don't have to tell me, please calm down baby, just take a deep breath" she coaxed, Phillip did as she told him and soon he calmed down.

He noticed it was morning, Anne unlaced her hand from his and went to retreat back to her chair but Phillip caught her wrist, "no. Please, stay here with me, just for a while longer" he begged her, she nodded and settled next to his legs again, she took her hand in his.

He relaxed at the contact, he was still afraid that if she broke away from his touch she might disappear forever, she talked to him calmly in an attempt to comfort him, it worked. When Anne was around he always felt safe and happier.

She touched his cheek softly and turned his head so he looked into her eyes, "do you know what's happening today?" She asked him with a smile, Phillip thought hard but shook his head. His thoughts felt a little groggy and slurred from the concussion, she lowered her head so she could look into his eyes a little easier, "the doctors are deciding if you can go home today baby" she said.

He felt his heart lighten a little at the thought. Home. Home felt promising and warm, home used to be the prison that disguised itself as his family's mansion with his parents and Harvey, then home was his luxurious apartment in the best part of New York. But now home was Phillip's small room with everyone at the circus and Anne. Anne felt like home.

He grinned at Anne, "I'd like it if I could go home today", he started to feel a little better, his movements were less slow and sluggish, the pain wasn't as intense anymore either. Anne smiled back at him, "I'd like that too" she told him before she brushed her lips against his, it was pleasant. Short but sweet.

At that moment the door swung open and the doctor came in with his clipboard, he cleared his throat obviously unhappy with an interracial couple sharing a moment of intimacy in his hospital.

He arrived at the end of Phillip's bed and looked at his sheet, "well Mr Carlyle we would only really have to keep you in if you had sustained any lasting damage to your brain but we have our tests back and it looks like you are free to go" he announced.

Phillip grinned his heart flew crashing straight through the roof of the hospital and soaring among the clouds and the sun in the sky, Anne jumped up, "that's great news! We get to go home Phil!" She cried, she was probably just excited at the thought of no longer having to sleep on a chair next to his bed or eat cheap hospital food.

The doctor gave Anne an unpleasant look as if she was something he had found on the bottom of his shoe, "it is important you rest, do not get out of your bed at home until your ribs have healed and continue to take the medicine our night nurses have been giving you daily" he said, looking back at Phillip.

Phillip agreed and he soon left the couple to gather Phillip's clothes. Anne stood and stretched, she looked uncomfortable but who could blame her considering she had been sleeping in a chair all night, and all the nights before that for the past week and a half.

She placed Phillip's clothes on the bed and tied the bundle together with string before walking around to his bed side, "you ready?" She asked, he nodded and she helped him out of bed, he held his bundle of clothes under his arm in the sling and placed his good around Anne's shoulders.

She took his weight as they slowly struggled out of the room, down the corridor then outside of the hospital, Anne hailed a cab surprisingly successfully. Phillip was just glad to be going home to the circus, and he was extremely thankful for Anne and everything she had done for him in his fragile state.


	9. I Love Get Better Soon Sex

Anne supported Phillip as they walked into the circus after coming home from the hospital, Lettie who stood nearby talking to the albino twins noticed him first, "hey look! Phillip's back!" She cried, everyone turned their heads to look at him and Anne before rushing over to them.

Phillip felt a little overwhelmed by all the unexpected attention, W.D clapped him on the shoulder lightly "welcome home man, how are you feeling?" He asked, Phillip shrugged "it could be worse" he said. Lettie, like Anne, too was quite over protective, she began to immediately fuss over Phillip's injuries, "how long will it take for you to recover? When can you work again?" She asked. Phillip honestly didn't know the answer.

Phillip looked at Anne for help, she didn't like the chaos either, "guys! I think you should let Phillip rest now" she called over everyone's chatter, the oddities, "she's right, c'mon you can talk to him later, it's not like he's going to be busy doing anything over the next couple months" W.D agreed stepping in front of the couple and facing the small crowd.

With a few groans and complaints the cast reluctantly dispersed and got back to whatever it is they were doing before, "I'll come in and talk to you soon" Lettie promised with a smile before she too left to seek out the twins again.

Anne turned to W.D "hey can you give me a hand helping Phillip to his room?" She asked, he merely nodded and wrapped a careful arm around Phillip's torso. For the big strong man W.D was he could be surprisingly gentle and caring.

They walked to Phillip's room both supporting his weight with him sandwiched between them, when Anne opened the door she smiled at W.D, "alright I can take it from here, thanks D" she told him dismissing him.

He left the couple be shutting the door behind them. Phillip was feeling pretty achy but he of course tried to hide it from Anne, he with great difficulty limped over to his desk, perching himself on the edge precautiously.

Anne looked around the room, "right first of all let's get you into something more comfortable" she said, Phillip instructed her on where she could find his boxers and undershirts.

She fetched a pair of white and blue striped boxers and a plain white undershirt, she turned around to see Phillip attempting to remove his shirt wincing as he did so, she rushed over to him, "stop, allow me" she said lowering his hands.

She began unbuttoning the white shirt, Phillip smirked trying to ignore his pain and discomfort, "you're just trying to get a peak off me without my shirt" he teased, she raised her eyes to his and gave him a humoured look, "oh please, I am a grown woman, not some silly school girl" she told him with a laugh, his eyes narrowed and his cheeky smirk widened "then why are you blushing?" He fired back.

She realised her face was turning quickly more pink as she slowly tugged his arms out of the sleeves of his shirt, now leaving him shirtless. His chest, torso and arms were littered with bruises, and cuts or old burn wounds but regardless he was a very attractive man, attractive enough to leave her flustered. She furrowed her brows in an attempt to appear less discomposed, "I'm not blushing- I- Oh shut up Carlyle" she muttered feeling slightly embarrassed.

He just chuckled and placed his hands on her waist, leaning forward slightly to kiss her, the kiss started sweet enough but she felt him start to heat things up, kissing her slightly more lustfully. She pulled away not expecting this sort of reaction, "Phillip this isn't appropriate right now, you're injured" she told him, she looked down and turned his overshirt over in her hands, preparing to dress him as she'd intended.

Phillip pouted slightly clearing disappointed, "come on, I'm bored, and since that fight you've barely touched me, you're too afraid you'll hurt me" he whined, Anne rolled her eyes "yes because you've got a diagnosis longer than my shopping list" she replied in another attempt to shut him down as he pulled at her waist slightly, "I'm fine, besides this will make me feel better" he attempted to persuade her.

She knew exactly what he was after, but she also knew it would not be a great idea considering the physical activity it involved. It wasn't a matter of her not wanting to, she'd spent somewhat a lot of time thinking about that night they took the next step, she didn't want to admit her craving for those feelings again but with everything that's gone on since there hasn't been a good moment. This certainly wasn't a good moment either, Phillip tried to hide it but she knew he was in constantly pain still, this would only make it worse. But the boy was adamant.

She sighed, "Phillip, what's best for you right now is gentle rest and recovery" she nagged him, he rolled his head again feeling disappointed, "Anne really I'm fine, what can I do to prove it to you I'm up for it?" He asked, she dropped his clothes on the desk next to him and held her hand to her hip, eyebrow raised.

She thought for a second, "fine, let's make a deal, if you can, without my assistance walk from here to your bed then I will do whatever you want" she caved, he grinned, "you're on".

She watched as he wiggled himself slowly off the edge of the desk, he shifted as he stood so his weight was off his plastered leg, he winced slightly as he took his first step but took a deep breath and wobbling slightly took another. He awkwardly limped to his bed trying not to apply any pressure to his casted leg, he used his good arm to gain balance and momentum as he swung it with each careful step he took.

Finally he collapsed onto his bed only groaning slightly at the impact, he grinned at her "did it" he said smugly, Anne felt a smile tug at her lips, it was an amusing sight and no matter how uncomfortable and awkward he looked he did complete the task.

She grabbed his clothes and joined him next to the bed, "fine, you win, but let's still get you out of those clothes, they're starting to smell" she said, he smiled as she dropped her hand to his thigh.

He was careful to lean on his good hand and leaned over to kiss her, she didn't want to accidentally grab him so she went with the safe bet and moved her other to behind him, leaning in closer. She allowed him to lead the kiss, he kissed her rougher and she felt things growing heated between them.

Her hand on his thigh slowly trailed upwards until she reached the hem of his trousers, she moved her other hand so she could easily unbuckle his belt, what should've been a small simple tasked seemed so hot to her, the sound of the metal clanking, the loosening of the material, the thought of what would happen next… It sent shivers down her spine.

She broke away from his kiss for a moment to concentrate on what she was doing, he leaned back slightly so she could slide the material down his legs. He leaned forward again so he could press his lips to her pulse point, he could hear her breathing quicken and her heart racing under his kiss.

"So what do you want me to- do?" She said attempting to keep her composure as she fought the urge to gasp and moan, "touch me" he growled with an attractive dominance, she swallowed hard and couldn't help a small moan to escape her lips.

She pulled his boxers down his legs too so he was completely exposed to her, he wasn't yet hard so she pressed her hand softly against him. He shuddered at her touch and she felt him begin to grow against her palm, he whimpered softly before trying to regain his act of dominance.

She cupped her hand like she did before and began to touch him gently, his eyes shut and her tilted his head back and moaned quietly, trying not to be too loud, he didn't want to risk anyone hearing and interrupting them.

It wasn't long before Phillip found the tension building in his body, he cursed as he felt himself getting closer and closer until he found release. Anne as before licked the substance off of him, he got an idea.

"Get on your knees" he commanded, she looked at him slightly confused by his request, her brows furrowed, "excuse me?" She asked, he grabbed her shoulder roughly but not rough enough to hurt her, "you heard me, get on your knees" he commanded again. She found his dominant orders slightly erotic and so slid off the bed and knelt in front of Phillip as he had told her to, "what-" she began, unsure of what was happening.

Phillip's hand still gripped her shoulder tightly, "close your eyes" he told her, her brows furrowing in confusion again she obeyed, she felt him stick a finger in her mouth, forcefully opening it, she had no clue what was going on.

All of a sudden he withdrew his fingers and replaced them with something much larger and thicker, "suck" he said his voice quivering slightly with pleasure.

She opened her eyes and realised what was happening, she did as he told her to and she felt his body shake as she obliged. He tasted strange, not the way the rest of his body tasted and not how the strange white stuff tasted either, sort of a mix of the two with an unfamiliar flavour.

Phillip whimpered and moaned uncontrollably driving Anne to take more of Phillip and move her mouth faster, it sent shivers down her spine the way he shook at her touch, his breath uneven and heavy, his moans, the way her name rolled off his tongue.

His hands ran through her curls before he took a handful of her hair and pushed her down more against him, she wanted to cough but she forced herself to keep going, suddenly she felt Phillip tense and then she tasted the familiar white substance, she swallowed and rose to her feet once more.

Phillip was a panting mess on the bed, he'd fallen back against the mattress completely, his eyes were still closed and he bit his lip on the side that wasn't cut. She wasn't sure what the new sexual act was but it was clear it was immensely pleasurable for him.

She sat next to him on the bed smiling smugly, after a few seconds he grabbed her arm using it to haul himself into an upright position again, "that was great" he breathed, his face still in complete awe, she giggled slightly and kissed his cheek "I'm glad but you really should get some rest now Phillip" she said.

He shook his head, "not yet, I'm not done with you yet" he grinned, he with one hand managed to rip her shirt off and kissed her as fiercely as a guy with one good arm and a very damaged body could.

She was surprised but didn't pull away this time, pulled her body closer with his good arm and moved her hair off her shoulder, he ducked and began to kiss the bare skin.

She had to fight the urge to pull him closer or tug at his short messy hair, his hand trailed down to her chest, he grabbed her and massaged her breast before sliding his hand down further. His hand didn't stop at the top of her skirt but instead continued further until he reached the hem.

He hoisted the skirt so it fell short at her knee and he traced his fingers up her thigh, this time she wore undergarments but he just pulled them down in one swift motion.

She gently took his jaw and pushed it upwards to she could captivate his lips once again, she knew if she didn't kiss him she would end up moaning loudly, instead she moaned into him, his mouth silencing her.

His fingers traced up and down her thighs, teasing her. She couldn't stand it, she let out a frustrated groan and tried to thrust herself into his hand, he withdrew so he was just out of the reach. She kissed him harder but ever so softly bit his lip, she didn't want to reopen the wound on his lower lip.

He seemed satisfied at this and finally touched her, shock ran through her body like electricity. She cried out, muffled against him, her face grew flush, she was afraid W.D might come back or hear her moans and stop them.

She didn't want to stop, she didn't want Phillip to stop, she urged him on as she felt herself nearing orgasm, she wanted it, she wanted it so bad, she was so close. When she found release she cursed at the bliss that washed over her, it was better than she'd remembered it.

She pushed Phillip's hand away once the magical feeling wore off "you need to rest" she told him more commanding this time, he lowered his eyebrows trying to wear ger down again, "but what if-" he began and kissed her neck once more, she felt a tingle shoot down her spine but craned her neck away from him.

He looked at her in confusion, surprised his trick hadn't worked, "no" she said gently and took his hands, she sat up and grabbed picked up his striped boxers to dress him now their fun was over, "but Anne" he whined, he pulled her back down next to him on the bed and traced circles on her upper thigh.

Anne smiled but was suddenly thrown back to the night Phillip was attacked, she saw the men's leering faces glaring at her,

"I bet you she's a rape baby"

Shock ran through her body, a warning signal. If she didn't calm down she may begin to have a fit. She swallowed down the memories trying to crawl their way up into her brain.

She gasped and stood quickly, Phillip looked at her with a look of confusion and concern written on his face, "Anne? Are you alright?" He asked. She felt the adrenaline pumping in her body, she needed to calm down. She wasn't ready to explain to Phillip yet, "give me a minute" she murmured weakly.

She cast her eyes to the floor, she didn't want to look at his face, she knew the exact worried expression he'd be wearing as he watched her. She shut her eyes and tried to slow her breathe, she reminded herself she was safe here with Phillip, nothing could hurt her.

She heard a groan and opened her eyes to see Phillip now standing next to her, he took her hands, she flinched slightly at his touch but tried to hide this, "what's wrong?" He asked, looking into his eyes she started to feel slightly better.

Watching him grounded her slightly, she sat on the bed again and continued to take deep breaths, her heart stopped racing, she no longer felt in danger of having a seizure, "nothing, I just got worried" she tried to brush it off, he sat next to her, his hand still holding hers, "why?" He asked.

She shook her head, "I'll explain to you later" she told him, he opened his mouth to say something else but she stopped him, "please" she begged, he nodded, "okay. You know we don't have to do anything else if you don't want to" he told her.

She felt guilty, she had worried him and made him think it was his fault, he didn't deserve that. She forced a smile on her face, "who said I didn't want to?" She asked slipping her hand out of his and placing it on his inner upper thigh, he looked down at her hand then up at her with an unsure expression on his face, "Anne you don't have to-" he began.

She raised her other hand and held a finger to his lips, "I want to" she said, that was mostly true, she loved Phillip and the way he made her feel, but the flashback had left her shaken. He might've seen the hesitation on her face, "are you sure? Because if-" he tried again, "I want to" she insisted.

She lay down, trying to steady her breathing and the anxiety rising in her throat, she didn't want to let him down, she carefully grabbed his hips, he stood and positioned himself over her. She didn't want to hurt him either, he had bruising on his lower back and sides she tried hard to avoid.

She placed a hand on his back just above his bruise and pushed him slightly so he sunk inside of her. He closed his eyes and held his breath, it felt good but she was still nervous, he began to move, she let herself moan, reassuring him that this is what she wanted.

It did feel good. She wanted this. She was almost sure of it. She watched him, concerned he would accidentally lean on his bad arm, or overwork himself and hurt himself in some way, she held her hands as lightly as she could against his fragile skin.

She was so distracted worrying over Phillip and trying to shake her jittery nerves from the flashback she hadn't realised the pressure that built inside her gut. Her eyes instinctively shut unexpectedly, and the rush ran through her, "Phil!" She cried out, partly out of surprise.

Phillip continued to thrust until he too released himself, he withdrew and flopped as painlessly as he could on the bed next to her exhausted, she turned and placed a kiss on his head.

He grinned in response, "I love get better soon sex" he laughed, Anne smiled wearily at her goofy boyfriend "it's almost as good as I'm falling in love with you sex" she replied, he nodded and closed his eyes, he looked tired and felt worse.

She stood and picked up his clothes again, "now you really do need rest, and there's nothing you can do to convince me otherwise this time" she told him in a very motherly like way, he yawned "fine" he agreed.

She quickly helped him into his clothes and he crawled under the covers, he looked absolutely adorable to her in that moment, he gazed at her with a look of love and admiration that made her heart soar, she reciprocated his look and combed his messy hair down with gentle fingers, "get some sleep baby" she told him, he nodded with a sleepy smile, "okay" he said, shutting his eyes.

She kissed his forehead and like that he had fallen asleep, she watched him for a few seconds and then thought back to how close had come to falling into a seizure. She could not risk having a fit in front of him. She really needed to tell him about her condition and even worse, her past.

She was sure he was sleeping soundly enough so she rose to her feet and walked outside, shutting the door behind her. She needed to go talk to W.D, of course she wouldn't mention the sex part but she needed to see her brother, the only one who knew.


	10. Nodody Can Escape Lettie's Teasing

Phillip was glad he was home but he felt miserable when he and Anne sat in his room and they could hear P.T holding cast meetings or planning what they could do next in the circus when Phillip would be bedbound for months.

He had offered to Anne she went to the meetings or rehearsed with W.D, she didn't need to miss any shows, she wasn't the one who was hurt, he was. But of course, being the loyal, kind person she was she refused.

The two of them lay on his bed listening, "you don't have to be stuck in here with me, why don't you go join in?" Phillip asked unhappily, Anne shook her head, "Phillip I've told you before and I'll tell you again, I'm not going to abandon you to perform or join in on the circus stuff whilst you're trapped in here, barely able to walk without my assistance" she reminded him patiently, he felt relieved at this.

His offer had been more for her than himself, he'd only feel worse if he didn't have Anne with him. Despite this he still felt bad, as much as she hid it he could tell like him Anne itched to be at the meetings, perform at the shows. She stared at the door longingly as they heard the singing, the cheering, the sounds of the circus at night.

And so his guilty conscience won, "I know you miss it, I know you want to be out there, you want to be able to fly again and I don't want to be the one holding you back. I promise you I'll be fine if you do go back" he told her, her eyes softened when she looked at him, "I know you'd be fine but I'm not leaving you. I'd miss you more than I miss performing and P.T said it's completely fine for me to miss a few weeks to take care of you until you can walk at least" she said sweetly, he used his good arm to pull her close so he could kiss her.

Outside Phillip's door there was lots of shuffling of feet, meaning the meeting was over, there was a knock on the door, "come in" Phillip called. It was Lettie. They all knew how frustrated Phillip and Anne felt at not being able to perform or attend the meetings so Lettie, W.D, Constantine, P.T and Charles took turns in updating them on anything new that happened so they would feel less isolated.

Lettie walked in, shutting the door behind her "Hey Carlyle, you're looking slightly better, how are you both doing?" She asked friendlily, Phillip smiled, Lettie was always so upbeat and positive he loved it, "yeah the bruises are starting to fade slowly but surely, I'm in less pain, so I'd say I'm good" he laughed.

Lettie beamed and took a seat at the foot of Phillip's bed sitting cross legged so she could face her friends, "so what's the news?" Anne asked with an eager expression on her face, Lettie laughed her famous Lettie Lutz laugh, "well good news Anne, when you're back P.T is buying you and W.D some new trapeze equipment" she announced, Anne's eyes lit up and she grabbed Phillip's hand in excitement, "really? That's awesome? Did he say what kind? What did D say?" Anne spoke quickly, Phillip smiled at her enthusiasm and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, "hey calm down love" he laughed.

Lettie also laughed, "damn wheeler you're tightly wound or is your life really just that boring?" She teased, Anne sent her friend a playful glare, "what else? Was anything else said?" Phillip asked, Lettie nodded, "news of this new invention, the telephone has taken over the papers. People are forgetting about the fight here and so sales are increasing again" she said happily.

Phillip felt as if 10 pounds had just been lifted from his shoulders, he had been silently worrying about business ever since he'd seen the newspaper article about him when he was in hospital, the fact that people are coming to the circus again? That was probably the best news he'd heard all week, "what's a telephone?" Anne asked, Lettie shrugged "hell if I know" she laughed, "it's probably just some fad that won't take off, most of them are. Do you remember the rolling bridge? I bet you the telephone will never become popular" Phillip said, they agreed with him.

Lettie watched as Anne cuddled closer to Phillip, his arm still around her shoulders, Lettie smiled contently "what?" Anne asked, smiling at her friend, Lettie shook her head and laughed "I'm just glad you two stopped faffing about and got together. In the past few months you've both been happier than I'd ever seen you before, I mean Anne I can remember when you-" Lettie began, Anne's eyes widened and she leaned forward abruptly, "uh buh buh shhhh!" She cried.

Phillip's eyes darted between Anne and Lettie, a curious expression displayed across his face, he turned and looked at Anne who had a sudden interest in the bedsheets, "what was Lettie about to say?" He asked, she shrugged nonchalantly, still not looking at him or Lettie, "how should I know?" She asked casually. Lettie watched them with her lips pursed, trying not to laugh, "well considering your reaction I'd think you would know" he retorted, she turned pink but just shrugged again, spreading her hands "I haven't got a clue" she lied.

Phillip instead turned to Lettie, "please, go on" he told her with a grin. Anne leaned back and buried her head in his neck, "well, when you and Anne were in that awkward not together but clearly in love with each other stage Anne would never shut up about you" Lettie confined with a knowing smile.

Phillip grinned from ear to ear, "oh is that true?" He said clearly enjoying himself, a muffled response came from Anne, it was either "for cough" or something much more obscene, Lettie roared with laughter, "oh yes, she was always like 'Phillip Carlyle is so handsome', 'Phillip Carlyle is so interesting', 'W.D doesn't like Phillip Carlyle, but I just think he's sooo dreamy'" Lettie laughed personating Anne's sweet southern accent poorly.

Phillip looked at Anne who was still hiding in the crook of his neck and laughed, "I think that's a very accurate impression" he said smugly, "shut it or I'm not kissing you for a week" she threatened, she finally emerged red faced and grumpy looking, "well if it'll make you feel better Phillip here wasn't much better, all I got from him was 'Anne is so talented', 'Anne is so pretty', 'if Anne's brother wasn't so protective I'd-'" Lettie began lowering her voice in an impression of Phillip.

Phillip too cut her off, "hey, let's not tell her the last part" he said hastily, Lettie giggled but nodded, "you're right maybe not, Anne isn't exactly the Collect type of girl" she agreed, Anne swung her head around to look at Phillip this time, her eyebrow raised. She wanted to know what Lettie would've said, she was sure it wouldn't have been completely innocent by the looks on her and Phillip's face.

Lettie saw Anne would start to interrogate Phillip if she didn't change the subject, "well hey what about the time I walked into your room and you were on the floor holding a-" Lettie began, Phillip made a strange noise in his throat "pen and paper because I was writing about Anne, yes that was embarrassing you caught me like that, I must have dozens of poems about her" Phillip butted in, Anne suspected he was lying but she knew he also did have several poems subjected around her hidden around here somewhere.

Lettie regarded Phillip with a strange look but only for a second, she laughed "yeah that was hilarious Carlyle" she said, she was too good a liar to be able to tell if she was being truthful or not unfortunately.

Anne wondered what Lettie had intended to originally say, if it was about the poems and if it was why Phillip had acted so strangely. It had raised a few questions in her she would probe Phillip on later, she would get her answers one way or another. Anne had her ways.


	11. The Letter That Almost Ended Everything

"Phillip" Anne said softly, she shook his arm. He groaned and swatted her hand away, he wanted to sleep but she had other ideas, "Phil" she said again, she nudged him, "go away I'm sleeping" he complained, she laughed, he just knew she was rolling her eyes.

He felt the bed shift, she leant over to him and pressed her lips to his neck, then his jaw, then his forehead, then his cheek and lastly his lips, "wake up baby" she laughed, Phillip scrunched his face as he closed his eyes tighter, he lazily pushed her face away, "let me sleep" he whined, he wished he could turn over and shove his face in his comfy pillow.

She sat next to him, "I've got food" she coaxed, Phillip opened one eye at this, "what is it?" He asked, his interest now piqued. "I made you bacon and eggs" she said holding up a tray for emphasis. He shut his eyes again, "five more minutes" he asked but it came out more like a statement, "Phillippp" Anne said and shook his arm again.

He sighed, finally giving up on his attempt to return to sleep, he opened his eyes and rubbed them before he turned his eyes to her. She wore a large oversized white shirt on her that finished at her knees, he knew it belonged to W.D. She smiled cheerily at him and held a tray with a plate containing steaming pieces of bacon and a fried egg, next to a knife and a fork.

She placed it on the bed and helped him sit up before she offered it to him, "thank you" he told her, he began to eat his meal. Despite his growling stomach he ate with impeccable manners he had gained from growing up in a bourgeoise family.

He looked up at her from his plate on occasion to see her watching him with a satisfied expression, she liked to watch him eat, he wasn't sure why. Even more so if she had cooked for him which she often did, she was the best cook he'd ever met, and he grew up with gourmet chefs preparing his every meal, "you take such good care of me" Phillip said after a while once he had swallowed his mouth full, she tapped his nose "yeah well, you can't cook. Currently you can't walk, you're not great at taking care of yourself either, you'd be useless without me" she teased, but he saw her eyes twinkle with love for him.

He noticed she had an envelope hidden on the bed behind her, she'd tucked it between her pillow and the bedsheets, she noticed him looking and so held a hand to his face, pretending to inspect his wounds that were healing nicely as a distraction, "your split lip has healed" she noted, he nodded, "I think my nose has fixed itself too, it doesn't hurt anymore" he announced, she grinned. His black eyes had completely faded a few days ago now, the majority of the bruises on his face had. He was just left with a few scabs from the cuts that were in the process of preparing themselves.

Anne allowed Phillip to finish eating before she took his plate. She carried the tray over to the desk. He took her brief absence whilst her back was turned to get a better look at the letter, he didn't pick it up but studied the corner he saw sticking out. It was good paper.

Anne saw Phillip had definitely noticed the envelope this time, she sat in front of Phillip, blocking his vision, "listen Phillip, you've got a letter" she started, she pulled the envelope from behind her back and turned it over in her hands, fiddling with it delicately as if it may blow up.

He wanted to rip the envelope open and read the contents but the guarded tone in her voice made him hesitate, "what is it?" He asked, his eyes narrowing, "I'm not sure but I-", she shook her head and hesitantly handed him the envelope.

He studied the paper for a few seconds before he read the writing, his heart sunk he recognised the handwriting. It was his father's, that would explain the fancy paper.

He looked at Anne and swallowed hard, she placed a hand on his knee in attempt of comfort, she gave him a supportive look urging him on, she also knew it was from his family. Taking a deep breath he turned the letter over in his hands and cautiously opened the envelope. He was nervous to read what it said, he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know.

He pulled a neatly folded letter out and began to read through what it said:

 _Dear Phillip,_

 _Harvey has told your mother and I what had happened between you, him and David three weeks ago. I do not offer any sympathy to you as it would never have happened if you did not insist on chasing that black freak._

 _I assume you survived, congratulations. I must warn you, you will not get away so likely next time. We will not let you escape so easily, we cannot have you dragging the honourable Carlyle name through the mud like this._

 _Now I am offering you the chance to go down the easy path, quit that pathetic circus life you are pursuing. You have had your silly fun, it is time for you to return to reality, I have graciously found you a real, respectable job in one of the many businesses I earn. You could climb to the top as I did with my father's aid when I was much younger than you are. You can achieve great things._

 _I forbid you to continue your wildly inappropriate relations with that spook, you are to come home immediately, your mother will be able to find you a more suiting, classy woman you may marry, one who can provide you with what you require and redeem your high-class status._

 _I recommend you do as I say and return home willingly at once, you will leave that life behind one way or another. Your mother agrees it is best if you do so without complaint or else I will have to resort to unpleasant methods I would much rather wish to avoid._

 _Believe me when I say son, if you do not follow my commands the incident with your brother and cousin will seem heavenly in comparison. I will see you soon, Phillip._

 _-Howard J. Carlyle_

Phillip stared at the letter in disbelief, he felt a wave of anger and fear wash over him, his eyes stung with tears as he read it over and over, it was worse than he could have ever imagined. He felt panic take control of his entire body, he felt his lungs grow tighter and tighter, forcing all the air from his body, he tried to breath in sharply but he couldn't breathe he merely gasped.

The letter dropped from his hands and the tears escapes his eyes, he grabbed at his chest, ignoring the pain, as he struggled for air. His mind ran chaotic, he couldn't believe what he'd read. He felt like a deer caught in the headlights.

Anne took his hand, she looked startled and deeply concerned by his reaction, "Phillip? What's wrong?" She asked, panic in her voice as she attempted to calm him. He couldn't respond, his body shook with terror. He felt like his whole world had come crashing down around him, "okay calm down, breathe" she commanded.

She glanced at the letter and watched Phillip with unfiltered worry, "Phillip. Hey, look at me. Deep breaths alright?" She forced him to look at her, he wanted to pull away, he wanted to hide.

He felt ashamed as he felt the hot tears escape his eyes. The only times she had seen him cry was when he had awoken from a nightmare, he would wake up already in tears. This time he was wide awake and wished he could prevent himself from showing any further display of emotion.

His father had hammered into his brain from when he was a child, real man don't cry. He was weak. He felt so embarrassed but he could not stop the pouring of tears, he didn't know what to do, he was overwhelmed with negative emotions.

Anne would not let him escape her grip as he wriggled to turn away, to hide the best he could how he felt, although he knew that would be no easy task.

He tried his best to steady his breathing or calm himself down but how could he, his father's threats swam before his eyes all over again, he would never leave Anne but he was petrified for the consequences that were to follow. What would he do?

Anne tried to shake him from his panicked state, "Phillip focus on me and my voice only. You need to calm down, if you hyperventilate you will pass out. This is important, focus on me, look at my face" she told him, as Phillip still struggled against her to hide his shame.

He gave in knowing it was pointless, she had seen him cry. He was no real man. He did as she said and gazed sadly upon her worried face, he felt more grounded as he studied her features in an attempt to calm himself.

Slowly he felt oxygen begin to fill his lungs again, his panic was ebbing away and being quickly replaced with anger. How dare his father threaten him like that? He didn't care what he did or said, he would not leave the circus, he would certainly not go back home _and there was no way in hell he would ever leave Anne_.

Anne appeared physically relieved when Phillip's breathing slowly returned back to normal, "what did the letter say?" She asked. His face dropped and he stared at the paper with a blank expression, he had no idea how to even begin to explain it, there was so much he would have to tell her. He would have to explain to her his past, how would she react? Would she leave him when she discovered the truth?

He picked the letter up again, resisting the urge to reread it once more, "read this then I'll start explaining" he said monotonously, she gently plucked the letter from him and scanned it with an anxious expression.

He watched her face, she paled as she read the letter, her lips parted slightly in shock at one of the lines and she felt her mouth become dry and sour tasting. He watched as her eyes filled with sadness, anger and a deeper worry, she began to feel guilt planting itself in her stomach. Was she putting Phillip at danger once again?

She lowered the letter when she finished and looked at the emotional man sitting next to her, she couldn't form the words, what could she possibly say to something so terrible, but she knew she must say something.

She placed a ginger hand against his knee in a vague attempt for comfort, "Phillip I don't know what to say, I am so sorry" she breathed, he didn't react, he looked down at the bedsheets in front of them, avoiding her eye contact.

He wasn't sure where to start, how to explain everything. After a few minutes of silence he sighed, "my brother, Harvey and my cousin, David were amongst the men that attacked me that night. My family is far from affectionate or loving" he began.

Anne rubbed his leg, wanting him to know she was there as she listened, "all my life my family have been cold, manipulative and abusive. I hate to admit it, it's so embarrassing. My parents, particularly my father abused me, physically, emotionally, mentally. He never loved me, neither did my mother or Harvey for that matter. All I was to them was an opportunity to boost themselves higher, gain more power and wealth" Phillip's sounded small and fragile.

He seemed so different from the man Anne usually saw. He was always so happy and confident, now he looked broken, pain filled his eyes. Reliving his past was difficult but he pushed on.

"On my seventh birthday, my father found me crying in my room, mother had attempted to teach me to ride my bike, but I had fallen off and cut my knee, I ran to my room and cried. My father walked in and saw me, he beat me to teach me a lesson, real men don't cry. Man up he told me. He took me to the drawing room and forced a glass of whiskey down my throat, I cried harder. I was in such pain and the whiskey burned my throat. Every time he saw me cry after that he would hit me and force me to drink with him. By the age of 9 I was a helpless alcoholic, I relied on drink heavily, it became the only way I knew how to cope. Over the years it got worse, to the point I would drink myself to sleep daily. My father knew he had led me to destroy myself.

This satisfied him, every time I would do anything he didn't like, he would find a way to make my life more miserable, he would keep going until I was broken. Just to teach me a lesson. He and my mother manipulated and controlled me, they wouldn't let me leave either" Phillip's voice cracked with emotion.

He felt more hot tears threatening to escape his eyes but he swallowed them bitterly, "one day when I was 18 I had tried to run away, I grabbed as much money as I would need to survive and I ran, I climbed the gates and ran through the streets of New York, I planned to get on the first train I could. I would change my name and start a new life, I would go to university and take an English degree and become a playwright.

My father somehow knew I had escaped, he waited for me at the train station and caught me when I arrived. He threw me in a carriage back home and when we arrived there, as punishment he shot and killed my personal servant Maria in front of my very eyes. Maria had practically raised me from when I was a baby. My father warned me if I ever tried anything similar much worse would happen"

Anne's hand shot to her mouth in horror when he heard what Phillip's father had done, she could not believe what Phillip must have gone through.

"I resented my father more and more the older I got, I still wished to be a playwright so partly to rebel against my father, partly because it was the only way I felt free, I began to write in secret. I published my first works and when my parents found out they beat me so bad I ended up in a hospital, Harvey had nearly killed me then too. My parents adored him and hated me, when my first play became an instant success however they forced me to write more. I did not mind at first, I loved to write but my love started dying when they would manipulate me into spending all of my free time producing more plays so they could brag to their rich upper-class friends.

My alcoholism got worse and worse, I turned to worse things and made bad decisions I regret to this day. I filled my life with whiskey, drugs and" Phillip faltered, he was afraid to say the next part, afraid of how Anne might react.

Anne kissed his cheek, reassuring him and urging him to continue, "I spent night after night with strange women I'd never met before, having meaningless cheap sex in a void attempt to fight my loneliness. I hated writing, I hated my family, I had no escape. Nothing I did could make me happy and battle my depression.

I had been completely drunk the night P.T convinced me to join the circus in the bar, I most likely would not have agreed if I was sober, but I am glad I did. I hid it from my family, fearful of what they would do when they found out until it hit the newspapers. I lived in my office at the theatre from then on, unable to face my family. I knew if I returned home… It would be bad. I spent every night drowning myself in whiskey, sleeping rough in the office, until I met you…" he stopped for breath.

Anne's head reeled, this was a lot to take in, Phillip was not the man she thought he was at all, but she needed to hear the rest, "when I met you for the first time I wanted to change, it wasn't until the night in the hospital you kissed me however I could bring myself to do it. Lettie didn't find me writing poems, she found me drunk on the floor of my office with an empty whiskey bottle. I poured my heart out to her, told her how strongly I felt about you. The night you kissed me and finally allowed us to be together I made a promise to myself I would become the man you deserve. It's been more difficult than you can ever understand but since the night before the fire I have not had a drop of alcohol and that's the truth" he promised.

Anne exhaled heavily, Phillip's past had been worse than she could ever imagine, "wow" was all she could manage as she attempted to process all the information he had just thrown at her, he nodded and looked down, a fearful expression, "I'm sorry" he choked. She realised he was afraid, of his father, of his threats but most importantly that she would leave him.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, he felt tense "I love you" she whispered, he relaxed and hugged her back, "I love you too" he murmured. When she withdrew again he looked at the letter, "after my family saw us at the theatre together their threats got worse, they sent me letter after letter promising what they would do to me if I didn't leave you alone and return home. Of course I didn't listen, when they discovered we were together…" He shook his head and would no longer meet Anne's eye.

He didn't have to continue, she put the pieces together. It wasn't a minor issue of they would tell him off or take away his money. He feared for his life, from what he had told her she would no longer put anything past them, they had done unimaginable things to Phillip no doubt and now he feared what they would do to him, now that he was with her. Harvey had been more than just a heckler at the show that night, he had been spying on Phillip, gathering information for his parents. Now they knew he had fallen deeply in love with her he was in danger.

She felt her gut twist, "we can't be together" she realised. His head shot up, anger flared in his eyes, "no" he shot back, she flinched at his hardened tone, "we're _not_ doing that. No. We've been through too much, we denied ourselves of each other for months and it almost killed me" he said softening slightly.

She shook her head, "Phillip, if you stay with me, you'll be putting yourself at risk. I'm not letting you get hurt again" she said softly, she could feel her heart shattering into a million pieces, he took her hand and held it firmly in his, "I don't care. You are not leaving me Anne Wheeler. _I will not_ let my parents break us apart, they can do what they want, I love you and I'm never going to stop loving you" he said passionately, she wanted to agree with him but she could not be the one to put him in danger.

She bit her lip, "Phillip, you can't say that. You can't. They will hurt you, I'm not worth it. I love you too, more than I've ever loved anyone but being with me? You will never have an easy life, you'll always be at risk, I'm not doing that to you" she shook as tears escaped her eyes. This was the most painful decision she had ever had to make.

Phillip's good hand cupped her cheek, his thumb wiped away her tears, "Anne, listen to me, please. I will sort something out, we will figure this out. I'll talk to P.T. You are not leaving me, you're the only good thing I've had in my life. I don't want to lose you. You're my everything Anne Wheeler. Please. I love you" he begged.

She looked at his face, he was wracked with emotion, his eyes filled with desperation, the twinkle in his eyes had been extinguished and replaced with torture.

She knew she had to leave him in order to keep him safe, but his words felt so comforting to her, she didn't want to leave and everything in her screamed stay. She knew she was making the wrong choice but she prayed it would be alright, her heart won and she nodded, "okay. As long as you're safe. I know I can't leave you, it hurts too bad, I need you in my life too. I love you" she said numbly. She hoped more than anything she was not making a mistake.

She curled up against him more than anything needing his touch, she needed to feel better. He was the only way she could see how she ever would, they sat there leaning against each other for god knows how long in silence, their worries chewing them up inside as they thought of what had just happened and attempted to form a plan to save their future.


	12. The Meeting

**Yo I just wanna say, I am writing this chapter, or parts of it drunk so if it's a little weird or shit, I swear I'm not a bad writer I'm just drunk. Moral of the story don't drink and write kids.**

Phillip sat on his bed next to Anne. P.T, Constantine, W.D and Lettie sat around them on chairs or crates. Phillip had asked them to come into his room so he could talk to them about something important.

"So you might be wandering why I invited you guys here and what I need to talk to you about" Phillip began, P.T frowned "is something wrong?" he asked. Phillip looked at Anne and nodded, "yesterday I got a letter from my father, it was really bad and I need your help and advice" he told them.

W.D was usually very hot and cold with Phillip, with him being a white man dating his only, black younger sister that was quite reasonable but even he looked worried at Phillip's statement, "what did he say?" He asked.

Phillip picked up the letter that was next to him and read it out loud to everyone. Anne flinched at the words " _black freak_ " and " _spook_ ", she glanced at W.D who clenched his fists. Everyone sat in stunned silence, "so he made a few threats, what's he really gonna do?" Lettie tried in a confident tone but even she looked on edge, her voice quivered slightly.

Phillip began fidgeting nervously, he felt grateful when Anne reached out and placed hers on his, "no, you don't understand. It's never empty threats with my father" Phillip said shakily, "son, just know we won't let him do anything to you, we'll protect you. You're one of us, we look out for our own" P.T told him.

That just made Phillip feel worse, "I can't let you do that, he'll just hurt you guys, I don't want to put anyone else at danger" he moaned, Constantine cracked his knuckles and grinned "let him try, we can take care of him". There was a collective agreement.

Anne and Phillip shared a look, it was as if they had a telekinetic conversation, Phillip nodded his permission, "guys you don't get it. Phillip tried to run away when he was 18, his father found him and took him back home then killed Phillip's servant who had practically raised Phillip from birth. Phillip isn't worried you might get a bit roughed up, Phillip's worried if you try to protect him his father might _kill_ you guys to get to him" Anne told them. The atmosphere suddenly dropped, you could feel the air drop a few degrees in temperature.

Nobody knew what to say, "if any one of you died…" Phillip began, he couldn't finish, he didn't have to. Lettie stood up, "so what're we supposed to do? Let your father drag you back there or worse kill _you_ instead?" She cried angrily, Phillip didn't respond. Yes?

W.D stood too, he walked over to Phillip and laid a hand on his shoulder, "we're not going to let him get to you Carlyle, I don't care what he does. You're ours" he told him firmly. Phillip felt a little better but they still had no plan, he still wasn't safe and now neither were the others.

"Why hasn't he been arrested at least? He killed someone!" P.T exclaimed, Phillip shrugged "he's rich and powerful. The cops never want to mess with the big upper-class guys, they get away with so much, I'm almost sure Maria wasn't the only person he killed".

Anne stroked his hand, she knew this was difficult to talk about, "I'm alright" he stammered, "right well until we come up with a real plan of action… Me, W.D, Constantine, Anne and Lettie will try and keep a constant eye on you, and absolutely no going anywhere alone. If you've got to go anywhere take me, Constantine or W.D with you at all times, we can try and help to protect you right boys?" He asked, W.D and Constantine nodded, "don't worry Carlyle, we've got your back. Nobody's dying on my watch" Constantine reassured Phillip.

He felt thankful and slightly relieved but he couldn't ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach, he felt like something bad was going to happen. He looked at Anne to make him feel better, she didn't notice so he wrapped his good arm around her and buried his face in her chest, she cradled him against her and played with his hair.

He heard W.D laugh, "aw Carlyle's like a little baby, no wonder you're so good with him Anne, you're great with babies" he teased, "hey you leave my baby alone" she said protectively. Phillip buried himself deeper, "who knew Carlyle was so submissive" P.T joined in. Phillip said nothing but removed his good arm from Anne and gave him the finger, "Anne's definitely the one who wears the trousers in their relationship" Lettie laughed, Anne shrugged "well yeah but I love him anyway".

Phillip turned red and gave Anne the finger too, he knew she was giving him the _boy you did not just do that_ look but he didn't care. He emerged red faced but with a small smile, "listen boss, just don't worry about it alright? I promise you, I ain't going to let anything bad happen to you, as I said, we've got your back" Constantine said earnestly, Phillip nodded, "just watch your back too" he warned him, "we're big boys Carlyle, we'll be alright, and so will you" W.D said with a grin.

Lettie went off on one about what she would do if she caught Phillip's father trying to hurt him, it was explicit and very graphic to say the least. Phillip laughed and told her to calm down but he was grateful for his friend's protectiveness and loyalty.

W.D glanced at Anne, "I need a word with you" he said and walked outside, she frowned but follow him. "What is it?" She asked him when they had stepped out of Phillip's door.

W.D grabbed Anne's arm and dragged her aside, "are you okay?" He asked, she looked confused, "yeah, why?" She asked, W.D looked at Phillip's closed door, "I was worried the letter from Phillip's father might have upset you" he explained.

She bit on her lip, "I'm just worried about Phillip, I think about how I'm putting him at danger being with me" she admitted, W.D sighed and looked down at his sister with sympathy, "I know, I warned you when you met him it would never be easy. The world isn't ready for blacks and whites together, they're small minded people".

He was right, integration took a lot of forward-thinking society just didn't have yet. Who knows if interracial couples will ever be acceptable? Anne just didn't understand why it mattered what colour your skin was, why should it matter if you have black skin or white skin? We all have the same parts inside, we're all humans.

"Why is it so wrong for two people to love each other D? I don't get it, why don't we _matter_ … just because we're black?" Anne cried.

W.D instinctively hugged her and pulled her close, she sighed against his chest, "Don't let the world tell us we don't matter. We will never stop fighting for the same rights as everyone else. You _deserve_ to be with Phillip" He told her.

She pushed him away and looked up at him hysterically, "I know I do but I get so worried… I'm so scared every time we step outside the circus because the world don't think the same as us. I'm scared because I know he's in danger when he's seen with me. Because of me he was put in hospital and he can barely walk, just because he _defended_ me. And now I'm scared that his father will _kill_ him because he refuses to stop loving me! Do you have any idea how scary that is?" She shouted, her eyes began to fill with tears.

W.D studied her for a moment, "yes I do" he mumbled, Anne looked back at him, "it's always been my job to protect you, all your life I've protected you as best as I can, I've tried my best to make sure no white man ever hurts you. Back on the farm I would take beatings to protect you, I would take your beatings for you so you wouldn't get hurt. I too was scared every day, scared that someone might take you away from me because we're black. To society we are _nothing_. I've always tried my best to shield you from that because the world out there is a cruel and bitter place, I understand perfectly Anne. But I know you love that boy, and it's obvious he loves you so you've just got to keep going. Maybe society won't like it but you've just got to keep on loving him despite all the odds against you because if you don't then the world will never change" He hissed.

She knew he was right but it was so scary, it was so draining constantly worrying, constantly looking over your shoulder. She tried not to remember the farm, or the beatings, or their horrible master but she knew W.D had always done well at protecting her, "I'm so scared" she whispered.

W.D grabbed her shoulder, "I know, but I promise you, I won't let Phillip's father get to him, get to _any_ of us. _We're safe here_ , nothing can hurt us inside these walls".

Anne cast a quick look at Phillip's door, "have you told him yet?" W.D asked, she looked back up at him, "no, I can't. Not right now, he's got too much to worry about as it is" she sighed.

"Anne, you can't keep putting this off… With all the stress you're under now you're more at risk. You nearly had a seizure the other night! What would have happened if you couldn't stop it then? If you started fitting right in front of him?" He lectured.

She held her hand to her face and began pacing, "I know! I know! I know! I was going to tell him but then the letter arrived and now we need to focus on protecting him and it's just one thing after the next, he's got far too much on his plate-" She tried to explain, W.D shook his head, "no, Anne" he groaned and rubbed his face. "You have got to tell him"

She wrung her hands, "I will! But we need to make sure his father is out of the way first", W.D raised his eyebrow "are you suggesting we…" he asked, Anne's eyes widened "no! God no! But we need to make sure he or Harvey won't come after Phillip".

W.D looked back at the door again, "alright fine, but if you have so much as _one_ accident… You'd better tell him or I swear down Anne, I will" he told her sternly, she closed her eyes and exhaled hard, "okay fine" she agreed.

"And absolutely no publicity stunts! You are not to do anything that'll draw the media's attention to you. Is that clear?" P.T finished as W.D and Anne re-entered the room, Phillip nodded gravely, "yes sir".

Anne took a shaky breath and sat back down next to Phillip, he frowned "are you okay?" He whispered, she merely nodded, looking at W.D.

"Well now that Barnum's grounded Phillip and gave him all his little rules, shall we go, leave the not so happy couple to it?" Constantine joked, Anne forced a small laugh, "no dying on our watch" Lettie threatened with a smile as she stood up. Phillip held up his hands in surrender.

They all said their goodbyes and left, it was just Anne and Phillip again. Phillip looked at Anne, "what was W.D talking to you about? Have you been crying?" He asked, she wiped her eyes, "please don't" she asked.

He pulled his head back, "don't what?" He asked, she shook her head, "I've just had a long talk with W.D and I just don't want that conversation right now", he gave her a strange look but resigned "alright" he said and kissed her cheek to show that he wasn't going to force her to talk about anything she didn't want to.

"Thank you, now come here" she told him, he grinned and scooted closer to her, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.


	13. Anne Tells Phillip Off

**Guess who's drunk again, I've seen a oneshot like this before though so I'm pretty sure it'll turn out alright considering I've had this idea in my head for a while**

"Phillip" Anne whispered, he turned his head towards her voice his eyes still closed, he hummed in response.

"I've got to go" she pressed her lips to his forehead, he opened his eyes with a grumpy, disgruntled expression.

She stood next to the bed leaning over him in her rehearsal clothes, her long curls tickled his neck.

"Do you have to?" He whined holding her waist and pulling her closer. Her body was small compared to his, she was tall but slender, he could hold her waist in his too large hands.

She raised her eyebrow playfully, "Phil I've been by your side all day, every day for a month. I haven't rehearsed once in that entire time, let me practice again".

P.T had told her she could return to practicing and performing whenever she wished to so when she asked

He pouted up at her, "but I'll miss you" he complained, she smirked at him her nose scrunching up the way it did whenever he did anything cute or whenever he looked adorable as he did in this moment.

His hair was unstyled and messy from sleeping, he looked up at her his crystal blue eyes sleepy and loving, his lip jutted out as he protested. He was so cute she almost agreed to stay. _Almost_.

She brushed her hand against his cheek and booped his nose, "just go back to sleep baby, I'll be back before you know it. I promise" she said, he tilted his head back and groaned, she took that as a sign of resignation.

She leaned down and kissed him before she straightened up and headed for the door, she could feel him watching her leave.

She glanced over her shoulder, "oh and rest up, if I hear you've been working yourself too hard again I will _personally_ kill you myself" she teased then she disappeared out the door to find W.D.

She raced with excitement at the idea of being in the air again.

In the past few days Phillip had the casts on his arm and leg removed, he was given a crutch to assist him to walk and advised to gently exercise his arm and leg so they would grow stronger and he would be able to use them again but he should work it in slowly as they were still healing.

Phillip of course ignored the slowly part.

Anne had to nag him to not strain himself as he insisted on walking as much as he could do but he'd hated being bed bound and he was finally able to be free again.

Phillip looked like a puppy that's owner had just left behind at home whilst they went to work.

He stared at the closed-door Anne had just slipped out of, pining for her to come back.

He still felt sleepy however and his eyes began to droop, grumbling slightly he turned over and felt the warm spot on the bed that Anne had previously occupied.

It wasn't long before he had drifted back to sleep, it was refreshing and dreamless for a pleasant change.

When Phillip awoke a few hours later he felt dismayed when he realised Anne still wasn't back yet and wouldn't be for at least two more hours.

Phillip groaned loudly and turned over so he lay on his stomach, he buried his head in his pillow and squeezed his eyes shut tightly hoping he could return back to no avail.

Phillip lifted his head and looked at the book that lay on top of the drawers beside his bed.

He pulled himself up and picked up the book, he opened it and attempted to read it but found himself having to reread the words over and over as they failed to sink in.

He was so bored, reading felt dull to him. He tossed the book back to its original position with a frustrated sigh.

He scanned the room for a source of entertainment for himself but found nothing that would relieve him of his boredom.

His eyes landed at last on his crutch and an idea formed in his mind, what if he snuck away to his main office without Anne noticing and got some paperwork done, he was sure it was probably piling up on his desk.

He had the desk in his room that he occasionally did work from, but he mainly used it to write for fun or to do last pieces of work before he called it quits, he did most of his paperwork in his other office next to P.T's for when he was occasionally there.

The only problem with his idea was his other office was all the way on the other side of the tent, he knew Anne and W.D would be practicing in the ring and it would be difficult sneaking to his office without her seeing him.

From the ring you could see pretty much everywhere in the tent when the stands were empty which of course they would be. There may be a few oddities loitering around them but not enough to cover Phillip if Anne were to spot him.

He considered the idea for a few seconds more and thought _screw it, I'll be careful, it'll be alright_.

So Phillip threw the covers off him and pulled his legs out of bed. He grabbed the crutch he'd been using to walk and limped to the door.

He opened the door slowly so it wouldn't make any noise and stuck his head out, looking at the ring.

There Anne was talking to Phillip engrossed in what she was doing, she then disappeared to climb the ladder to her aerial equipment.

Phillip took this time to emerge from his room, shutting the door behind him and make a break for it to the nearest stand.

He pressed his back to one of the metal poles supporting the stands, he whipped his head around to peer through the gaps to check where Anne was.

She was balancing on her rig then she jumped up and caught herself upside down. Too focused on keeping her grip to notice her boyfriend sneaking to his office below her.

Leaning heavily on his wooden cane he crept across the tent as quietly as he could possibly manage, he stopped at the next stand and checked again.

She was still swinging from her rig totally distracted whilst W.D shouted instructions up to her.

Phillip's office was two stands away, opposite to his room but unfortunately directly under where Anne currently swung.

Phillip raced to the next stand, he grinned to himself, he was going to do it, he could see his office's door now.

"What do you think you're doing?" A voice asked behind him, causing Phillip to jump out of his skin.

Behind Phillip leaning over his shoulder was Lettie, she gave him a disapproving look as he turned to face her.

He pressed his hand to his racing heart and took a deep breath, "god Lettie, don't do that to me you nearly gave me a heart attack!" He breathed with a laugh.

She didn't laugh back, "what. Are you doing Carlyle?" She repeated, his face dropped, "I-I'm feeling better so I'm just going to get some work done in my office" he stammered pointing over his shoulder with his thumb,

Lettie held her hand on her hip, "and didn't Anne tell you not to overwork yourself when she left this morning?" She asked, Phillip looked up at Anne, still unaware of what Phillip was doing, and grimaced,

"Well yeah but-" he began rubbing his neck before Lettie held up his hand and cut him off, "no buts, you can get _your_ butt back to bed" she told him pointing to his room.

His shoulders slouched, he knew he could never get to his office with Lettie around. He formed a risky plan in his mind,

He nodded "yeah fine, you're right, I'll just go back to bed now then" he sighed unhappily.

He turned around and started limping back in the direction of his room, Lettie watched him sternly before someone ran over to her and told her that they needed her for something, she gave Phillip one last strict look before following the person who summoned her.

Looking over his shoulder to make sure she was gone Phillip crept towards the ring, he looked up to see Anne now jumping into W.D's arms in the air.

Perfect they were both out of the way, it was dangerous but it could work.

Phillip sped as fast as he could across the ring, his office was in sight, he shot quick glances upwards to see if Anne had spotted him, she hadn't.

He reached his office and opened the door stumbling inside and shutting the door hastily behind him.

He leaned against the door catching his breath, he then made his way over to his desk which was indeed covered in piles of paperwork he needed to get started on.

He rested his cane against his desk and sat down, ready to tackle the mounds of work he had to do.

He was totally unaware that Anne _had_ actually spotted him.

She had been practicing. W.D and her catching each other, W.D swung towards her and leapt to her ready arms, he caught them and she tightened her legs around the bar adjusting so she could support both her weight and W.D's.

"Hey Anne, isn't that Phillip down there with his crutch?" W.D asked with an amused laugh, she looked down and sure enough Phillip was awkwardly dashing across the ring limping as he leant on his cane. He looked a right sight.

"For gods sake! He's supposed to be resting, what the hell is he doing?" She cried, she saw Phillip began to look up, "shit, look away!" She told W.D quickly.

W.D leapt from her arms and grabbed onto another bar, she swung herself back and forth before leaping towards his legs, she held on with ease, "it looks like he's going into his office, maybe he wants to do some work?" He suggested, Anne shook her head and leaped to her hoop,

"no, he got bored waiting for me to come back so he thinks he's some sort of ninja and can sneak to work without me noticing" she laughed at the thought.

W.D looked at Phillip sympathetically, remembering the times _he_ had disobeyed Anne and- well it hadn't ended too great for him.

She may be 4 years younger and him and comparably smaller in height and build but she was feisty and not one to mess with…

"What're you gonna do to him then?" He asked, she grinned evilly, "nothing" she said simply.

W.D frowned and turned to look at her, "nothing? Who are you and where's my sister?" He joked, she spun herself upside down,

"oh trust me, he's going to get it later but for now? I'm going to let him think he's gotten away with it until we finish rehearsing, _then_ I'm going to kill him" she promised.

Phillip had worked tirelessly for hours on end and he had finally completed nearly all the paperwork he had to do, it was mainly finances or contracts or filing but he felt worn out when he scribbled his signature for the thousandth time on the last paycheck.

Looking at the now scarce desk he felt satisfied that he'd done enough, he looked at the clock and his eyes widened, he'd been in his office a lot longer than he realised,

He really hoped Anne hadn't finished rehearsals yet or else she'd have gone back to an empty room with no Phillip.

He picked up his crutch in a hurry and walked briskly to the door, he cautiously opened it and looked towards the ring to see it empty, _shit_.

He staggered speedily towards the ring and stopped searching for any signs of Anne or W.D, if he only he could see them then it'll mean they'd only just stopped.

"-Yeah we just finished I'm pretty tired" Phillip overheard, he turned his head to see W.D standing outside of his own room talking to one of the female oddities.

Phillip sighed in relief, he'd done it, he started towards his room again when he heard a familiar voice clear their throat.

He froze in his tracks, maybe if he didn't move she wouldn't see him.

"Phillip" Anne chided, Phillip cursed under his breath and turned slowly around to face her.

She stood a few feet away from him, her hand on her hip mirroring the pose Lettie had pulled earlier but it looked a _lot_ scarier on her.

She raised an eyebrow and looked mildly amused with a concerned hardness behind her eyes.

"Hi" he said sheepishly before casting his eyes to the floor, she walked quickly over to him and lifted his chin,

"What did I tell you this morning?" She asked, he fidgeted, "don't overwork myself" he replied reluctantly, "so what are you doing out here instead of in bed?" She scolded.

It amused him how motherly Anne could be sometimes, especially when she told him off like this.

"I got bored and I started to feel better so I thought I'd do some work" he explained, she shook her head and laughed "Phillip, you have to rest up, if you overwork yourself it'll only take you longer to fully recover, now let's get you back to bed mister" she told him, she kissed his forehead then wrapped her arm around his shoulders.

She began to lead him back to his room but he stopped and looked at her in confusion, "so you're not mad?" He asked,

She laughed, "of course I'm not mad you muppet, I only want the best for you. The only reason I told you to stay in bed today was because I want you to get better".

He allowed her to lead him back to his room, "although, did you honestly think you'd get away with it?" She asked in amusement as he settled on the bed again.

He smiled in embarrassment, "maybe?" He said, she rolled her eyes playfully, " _nothing_ gets past me" she whispered and straddled his lap.

He felt so lucky to have her, she was the most amazing girl he'd ever met.

He smirked and kissed her, he was glad she was home, he was even more glad when she moved her hips against him.


	14. Phillip's First Performance Back

Phillip felt more nervous than he had ever done in his entire life, it had been nearly two months since his father's threatening letter and nothing had happened.

He knew something was going to happen and soon, the waiting was almost worse than his fear of what it would actually be.

Now Phillip was standing behind the stands with Anne waiting to begin his first performance back, he was shaking from nerves.

Not because of the fact he hadn't performed in a while, whilst recovering he would sing his songs in bed. He was worried that tonight, the first night of performing again could be the night it happened.

It would make sense, there were moments when he was the only person not in the ring so it would be the perfect time for his father to strike, Phillip wouldn't have W.D or Constantine to protect him, P.T was amongst the crowd tonight keeping an eye but he doubt he would know if Phillip was getting attacked backstage.

After the last performance Phillip did he got attacked for protecting Anne, he didn't want a repeat of that although of course he would do the same if he needed to.

Anne tried to reassure him everything was going to be fine and attempted unsuccessfully to hype Phillip up, "hey c'mon, it's your first time performing in a while, isn't that exciting?" She asked rubbing his shoulder.

His eyes were trained on the ring, he couldn't shake the feeling tonight would be the night, "what if he's here?" He said in a scared whisper,

Anne kissed his cheek, "he won't be, P.T is scanning the crowds, he'll kick anyone who causes trouble tonight out immediately" she promised him.

Phillip shook his head, "Anne I don't know if I can do this, I'm so scared" he admitted, he took a step back away from the ring but Anne stopped him,

"Listen to me, I'll be right there next to you for most of your songs, and for the songs that I'm not I'll be right here cheering you on, you can do anything Phillip Carlyle, so go out there and kick some butt" she encouraged him.

He gave her an unsure smile and realised all through her speaking she had been slowly edging him closer to the ring, he took a deep breath and nodded, "it'll be okay" he said to himself, she kept her hand on his shoulder,

"Everything will be fine, you're gonna do great babe" she confirmed.

He kept his eyes on her as he signalled for the oddities to begin to sing

" _Whoa_ " they all sang and stomped, Phillip got into his first position his eyes still on Anne,

" _Whoa_ " Anne gave Phillip a look of encouragement as she sang, he got into his second position

" _Whoa_ " they sang one last time, Phillip took Anne's hand as he took a deep breath to sing

 _Ladies and Gents this is the moment you've waited for_ His voice sounded a little rusty despite his practicing but Anne next to him gave him an extra vote of confidence.

 _Been searching in the dark, your sweat soaking through the floor_ Phillip began to dance, he had to take it easy this show but luckily the song wasn't too bad

 _And buried in your bones there's an ache that you can't ignore_ He flipped his cane and caught it on his shoulder, Anne mouthed something to him but he was starting to get into it

 _Taking your breath, stealing your mind, and all that is real is left behind_ He began walking to his spot, he could hear the horses neighing impatiently.

 _Don't fight it it's coming for you, running at ya. It's only this moment, don't care what comes after_ He was ready in his position, the lights all came on. This was it, he took one last look at Anne

 _Just fever dream, can't you see it getting closer? Just surrender 'cause you feel the feeling taking over_ He took a deep breath and ran towards the ring, the horses following him.

 _It's fire, it's freedom, it's flooding open_ The oddities in the ring sensed he was anxious and all gave him comforting looks

 _It's a preacher in the pulpit and you'll find devotion, there's something breaking at the brick of every wall it's holding_ He sprung into the ring and saw the crowd lean forward in anticipation

 _All that you know..._ All the lights shut off, the only light now from the fire eaters perched on blocks

 _Tell me do you wanna go?_ The fire exploded and lights flooded back to the ring, the rest of the oddities appeared in the ring, he felt Anne's eyes on him as she danced a few feet away

 _Where it's covered in all the coloured lights_ He jumped out of the way as Sarah flung knives at the rotating wheel, thankfully she wasn't blindfolded

 _Where the runaways are running the night_ He ducked as Oliver The Irish Giant jumped over his head

 _Impossible comes through, it's taking over you_ He watched as W.D was launched over Oliver's shoulders landing on the balancing board sending Anne flying through the air

 _Oh! This is the greatest show!_ She landed gracefully and took off with W.D to climb the ladder to the swings

 _We light it up, we won't come down, and the sun can't stop us now! Watching it come through it's taking over you_ He slid across the ring and pointed with his cane to the ceiling where Anne jumped from her swing to W.D's ready arms, his heart leapt as always but of course W.D caught her

 _It's everything you ever want, it's everything you ever need_ He looked at Anne who was sprinting back to the ring, even as when she ran she looked stunning. She was everything he'd ever want and need. She appeared by his side again which he relished in.

 _And it's here right in front of you, It's everything you ever want, it's everything you ever need, and it's here right in front of you, this is where you wanna be… This is where you wanna be!_ Phillip danced, he watered down his usual routine slightly so it was easier for him tonight, he then stepped back and let Lettie take over the next verse

 _When it's covered in all the coloured lights, where the runaways are running the night_ At this she gestured to all the oddities surrounding her

 _Impossible comes true, it's taking over you, this is the greatest show! We light it up, we won't come down, and the sun can't stop us now!_ Walter jumped in front of her and howled. The crowd gasped, she stepped back and all of the oddities sang the last lines

 _Watching it come true, it's taking over you, oh this is the greatest show!_ They all held our positions until the audience applauded, everyone but Sarah and the fire eaters walked backstage.

Phillip turned to Anne, panting when we reached behind the stands, "how'd I do?" he asked with a lopsided grin, he'd temporarily forgotten all of my worries.

She pushed a strand of pink hair out of her eyes, "I told you you'd do amazing! I'm so proud of you" she praised.

The night went better than Phillip had expected, every single act flowed smoothly, there wasn't a single problem or heckler tonight.

Phillip knee slid across the ring to join the final reprise, he had kept it so he only sung the last chorus,

 _This is the greatest show! Where it's covered in all the coloured lights! Where the runaways are running the night!_ Phillip gestured to Anne and W.D as they swung around the ring on ropes

 _Impossible comes true it's taking over you_ Phillip sang Anne joining in on a duet, they harmonised beautifully and she jumped from her rope, flipping and landing next to him gracefully, she looked lovingly at him before turning to the crowd.

 _Oh the greatest show! We light it up, we won't come down and the walls can't stop us now_ Everyone else joined in again, Phillip grinned a genuine smile as members of the audience recognised the song and joined in

 _I'm watching it come true, it's taking over you, oh this is the greatest show!_ Anne fell back in next to Phillip and held on to his shoulder, the last part was his favourite.

 _This is the greatest show!_ Everyone else sang dancing around Phillip and Anne, Phillip had changed it slightly making their interracial relationship part of the acts.

 _'Cause everything you want is right in front of you, and you see the impossible coming true_ Phillip and Anne sang over everyone else, on the _you see the impossible coming true_ line Anne kissed Phillip's cheek and he winked at the shocked audience

 _And the walls can't stop us now_ Phillip and Anne spread their free arms gesturing at themselves as a couple

 _This is the greatest show! Oh this is the greatest show!_ Anne and Phillip joined in again

 _Oh this is the greatest show!_ This was Phillip's favourite favourite bit, he grabbed Anne's waist and dipped her, she took his hat and then he kissed her in front of the entire circus. Tonight there was nothing but cheers and shouts of encouragement from the audience.

Phillip could hear Helen and Caroline from one of the stands yelling "Go uncle Phillip! Go Aunty Anne! We love you!" that made his heart melt, he pulled away from Anne and stared into her eyes overwhelmed by his love for her, she giggled and he raised her to her feet again. She placed Phillip's hat on her own head and winked at him cheekily, this was not part of it but he considered adding it to the routine, she looked really good…

 _This is the greatest show!_ They all finished, the crowd went more wild than it ever had before, Phillip looked over at Anne again, she stood watching the audience, she held a look of happiness on her face as she realised there wasn't a single protest at Phillip kissing her tonight.

The cast rushed off backstage when Phillip had told everyone to have a safe journey back, Anne practically dragged him out of the ring as he basked in the applause.

"There was no protest tonight!" She gleamed, W.D standing nearby grinned "see if you keep fighting eventually there'll be less opposition!" He called, Phillip beamed at both of them, "I hate to say it but W.D's right, we're clearly starting to get through to our audience" he joked.

He felt the adrenaline slowly start to wear off however, although he had fully recovered by now his leg muscles were still weak, he could feel his leg start to grow heavy and achy.

He grimaced, "I'm heading off to bed, my leg is starting to hurt" he told Anne, her smile quavered, "I'll help you, D I'll be back in a sec don't go anywhere" she yelled over her shoulder.

Despite his protests Anne insisted on wrapping his arm around her shoulders for extra support if he needed it, she took him to his room and pushed him back on the bed.

"Hey this looks promising" he joked, she laughed "don't get any ideas, my brother is waiting outside for me".

Phillip made a face, "and just look that the mood has died" he gagged, Anne shook her head at her idiot of a boyfriend and helped undressed him ignoring his complaints that he could do it himself.

She kissed him when she took off his shirt, "I know you can but I want to do it" she said with a wink, she got him into bed and left to find W.D.

She promised before she left she wouldn't be too long and would cuddle him lots when he came back as he whined slightly when she walked away.

He lay in bed replaying his performances in his head with a smile on his face, maybe he didn't need to worry about his father. Although it was highly unlikely maybe he had just made an empty threat with no intention of following through.


	15. Josephine The New Girl

Anne rolled over in bed and curled around Phillip's bare chest, he mumbled something incoherent in his sleep and turned his head so he could lay it comfortably against her chest and they stayed like that until Phillip woke up a few hours later.

He was surprised to see Anne was still asleep, usually she was the one to wake up first. He considered getting up but he was so comfortable, Anne's body just seemed to radiate warmth.

He smirked when he realised where his head was, he'd had sex with her a handful of times and they'd been intimate a lot recently but still to this day he'd feel a tingle shoot down his spine whenever he touched her or saw her body exposed to him.

His breathing must've shifted as Anne, being the light sleeper she was, woke up and looked down at Phillip, "good morning" she said groggily, her voice husky and light.

Phillip snaked his hand around her waist, "it really is" he said kissing her chest, she closed her eyes again and moaned, "I have a free day today, just to let you know" she breathed.

Phillip stopped, "I don't, what time is it?" He asked, Anne let out a frustrated sigh, "you're asking me _now_?" She exclaimed, Phillip moved his torso against her open thighs and then stopped an evil smile look on his face, "go on" he urged her.

She groaned then turned her head to look at the clock, "it's almost 10, why do you want to know so bad?" She asked, "shit!" He cursed, Anne prayed he wasn't about to say what she thought he was going to.

He removed his hand from around her waist, "Anne, I'm really sorry, I have to go, we have a new act I need to interview" he laughed apologetically.

She wrapped her legs tighter around him, "no you can't go" she begged desperately,

"I'm sorry I have to love" he laughed, she grinded against him, "Phil please" she moaned.

The sight was erotic and he hated P.T for asking him to interview the new act today but he knew he couldn't stay.

He tried to unwrap her legs from him but years of trapeze had left her longs strong and muscular, he couldn't loosen her grip, "Anne" he grunted trying hard to break her bond.

She felt frustrated and annoyed that Phillip had to leave her in this state, "I hate you, why would you wake me up like this if you were just going to leave?" she complained, reluctantly retracting her legs from around his torso.

He stood up and looked at her trying to prevent himself from laughing, "I'm sorry I thought I had more time" he apologised, she pouted at him as she tried to think of ways to convince him to stay.

She watched in disappointment as he got dressed, "stay here and have sex with me" she pleaded, he looked over his shoulder, she was trying her best to look sexy and enticing. She didn't have to try very hard.

"Trust me, there's nothing I would rather do more right now, but I have work to do" he fastened his belt, "I didn't realise my name was work" she tried, he turned and look at her with a mildly amused expression before he looked down his eyes widening, realising the sight of Anne had excited him a little _too_ much.

"Fuck, Anne! I have to go to work and interview a new act and look at what you've done to me" he cursed showing her his tight pants.

She sat up and pulled him closer, "let me help you with that" she whispered and palmed him through his slacks, he bit his lip and closed his eyes. She was making this extremely hard for him, quite literally.

Reluctantly he pulled away from her grip, "Anne, that's not fair, you know I've got to go" he tried to scold her but his voice was weak from the pleasure, "hey you started it, what's not fair is waking me up and making me feel so…" She trailed off searching for the right word.

Phillip looked around the room for where he'd thrown his jacket, "horny?" He suggested, "I was going to say frustrated but that works too" she growled, feeling irritable about the fact he really _was_ just going to leave her feeling like this.

He kissed her quickly, backing off before she could grab him or convince him to stay, if she touched him one more time he knew he would crumble, "I promise you as soon as I come back I will... Help you out, I'm sure it won't take long" he offered, she glared at him in response.

"I hope my brother sees you have a hard on and kills you" she bit, he knew she was just grumpy because he couldn't stay, "love you too dear" he called back before running out of his door.

He walked quickly to his office, his hand covering his downstairs situation, he was already late he didn't want to make matters worse.

He burst through his door, now out of breath, "hi sorry I'm late my-" he started and looked up to see a pretty young, blonde girl sitting on his desk.

He frowned and looked back out his office door, "uh sorry, who are you?" He asked in confusion,

"I'm Joe, I'll hopefully be the new act here" she said with a wink, she had a sweet French accent.

She had a petite, delicate frame and a toned body. She was slightly smaller than Phillip and she had a beautiful face, if Phillip wasn't with Anne he may have been attracted to her, she was exactly the type of girl he used to go for.

He smiled and held out his hand to her, forgetting about his problem "oh, my apologies. When P.T told me I'd be interviewing someone called Joe I assumed you were a man" Phillip said.

She smiled coyly at him, "yes I get that a lot, my real name is Josephine but you may call me Joe and please I can promise you I am _very much_ a woman" she giggled, instead of shaking Phillip's hands she hugged him tightly instead. Phillip could feel her body against his, he quickly pulled away red face and feeling embarrassed.

He was suddenly very conscious of his problem again, he dropped his hands in front of him, trying to subtly cover up his boner, "uh yes, that's good, we have an uneven ratio of guys to girls in the circus" he said clumsily tripping over his words.

"Oh?" She asked raising her eyebrow, it might've been Phillip's imagination but he swore she looked him up and down, similarly to how Anne did the first time they spoke, and bit her lip.

Phillip ignored it and walked around his desk, taking a seat in the chair behind his desk, Joe stayed stood up.

Phillip cleared his throat awkwardly, "so uh, Joe- Josephine, or Joe, whichever. What exactly is your act?" He asked, he cursed inwardly for his sudden lack of coherent English.

She giggled again, "why tell you when I can _show_ you?" She lay on the floor and brought her legs up over her shoulders and walked a few steps on her hands.

Phillip's mouth dropped open in surprise, he had to admit, it was impressive, "wow that is quite a talent" he managed, she stood up on her feet again and nodded earnestly, "I can assure you, I am quite flexible Mr Carlyle" she said innocently.

Phillip suddenly felt uncomfortable being alone with her, he didn't like the way his name sounded in her mouth and he felt an odd sense of guilt although he wasn't entirely sure why. He was just interviewing a potential future act.

"Great, well uh, I'm sure I can fit in you- fit you in, excuse me, somewhere" he said, he felt himself turn red embarrassed by his mistake, Joe just giggled and took a seat in her own chair.

"You seem tense, why don't you take a seat and relax" she said smoothly, he hadn't realised he was stood up, he didn't remember standing up, he wondered when he did.

He did sit down and opened one of the drawers of his desk and pulled out a contract, "I think you'll do just fine here, so if you're happy to sign this contract I can just hire you on the spot" he found a pen and handed it to her.

She barely looked at the contract, "what's this? I'm not selling myself to you am I?" She joked, winking at him, Phillip laughed nervously, "it's just a simple contract stating that you are happy to be part of P.T Barnum's Circus advertising or merchandise and legalising your fixed wage" he said.

She took the pen from him, her fingers grazing his hand ever so slightly, "do you have living arrangements or do you need a room here? We do offer accommodation" he said glancing toward the door, he really wished this interview would end as quickly as possible so he could get back to Anne.

She pouted slightly, holding a sad expression that reminded him of a dog begging for food, "I have an apartment but I live by myself, it's _ever_ so lonely" she said looking to the floor.

Phillip pulled a second contract from his drawer, "well you can share a room with one of our girls here if you would wish may I ask your situation?" He handed her the second form and again her fingers grazed his hand.

They were soft and warm, Phillip began to think about Anne, feeling guilty as he noticed how petite and delicate Joe's frame was, she was a lot shorter than him whereas Anne was an inch or two taller than him. Joe had a beautiful face and a cute French accent, if Phillip wasn't with Anne he might be attracted to Joe, she was exactly the type of girl he used to go for. _Anne. Anne. Anne was amazing, Phillip felt so happy with Anne. Anne. He loved Anne so much._

Joe brought him out of his thought train when she spoke again, "oh I come from a very wealthy background" she said in what couldn't have been a seductive voice, "right, well then just sign the first box on the form and ignore the second one. We offer free accommodation from any oddities who struggle financially, your rent will come out of your paycheck each month" he told her.

She signed the contract then slid it back across the desk to Phillip along with the pen, she leaned forward and Phillip could suddenly see down her already low-cut blouse.

He quickly averted his eyes and opted to look at the door again, he wanted nothing more than to go back to his perfect girlfriend _Anne_ whom he loved very much.

"Excellent, you are hired, I shall get Lettie to show you around the circus, you will be sharing a room with her. I would show you around myself but my girlfriend is uh sick. Yes so I need to go take care of her, I'll go find Lettie now, please wait here" Phillip said quickly.

He raced out of the room in search of his friend. If he didn't know any better he would have said she was flirting with him, but that's silly, she couldn't have been, right?

Phillip collided into Lettie nearly sending her tumbling over, "sorry Lettie, I was caught in a thought" he apologised, Lettie laughed, "no harm done Carlyle" she replied, then her eyes narrowed slightly, "hey are you feeling alright? You look pale" she noted with concern.

Phillip swallowed and nodded vigorously, "yes I'm fine. There is a new act in my office, I need you to show her around the circus, she will be living in your room with you so uh get acquainted" he told her.

Lettie looked at him suspiciously, why was Phillip acting so strange? "Yeah… Not a problem… Are you sure you're feeling okay? You're acting rather odd" she remarked slowly.

He shook his head and glanced back to his office, "everything's great, the new act's name is Joe, so if you've got everything handled I'll be off now" he said quickly trying to calm his tone level.

Lettie nodded slowly, clearly still not convinced, "sure thing, see you later Carlyle" she said.

Phillip practically ran back to his room where Anne was waiting for him.

He slammed his door shut and rested against it trying to catch his breath. Anne looked up startled by the loud slam, "you're back earlier than I thought, why are you out of breath?" She asked, she stood up and walked towards him to greet him.

His problem had since disappeared which Anne seemed a little disappointed by.

"No reason, have I told you I love you today?" He asked, he felt extremely guilty but why? He didn't do anything wrong and surely she hadn't been flirting with him, of course she hadn't. He was just being paranoid.

Anne stepped back and gave him a strange look, "I love you too… Phillip what's wrong? You seem off" she questioned, he shook his head, "no I just love you lots and I don't want you ever forgetting that" he said passionately.

He hugged her tightly to his chest, she was the only girl he wanted to be hugging. Well maybe Lettie but that was different. And possibly Helen and Caroline, but after that that's it. Oh and Charity but whatever he knew what he meant.

"Right… How did it go with the new act? What does he do?" She asked laughing at Phillip's random outburst of love, "oh they're really flexible, we should call them the human pretzel" Phillip said feeling slightly calmer now.

He should've corrected Anne, why didn't he? Why did he just avoid pronouns rather than tell her Joe was a woman?

Anne looked intrigued, "that's actually really cool" she mused, "I think your talent is a lot better personally" Phillip said.

She rolled her eyes, "you're just saying that because you're my boyfriend" she teased, she then pressed her hand to his chest, pushing him against the door.

"Speaking of, I think we should pick up where we left off… I've been dying for you to get back" She whispered and nipped at his ear.

He weakened against her touch, forgetting all about Joe and how anxious he'd been feeling moments before.

Her hand snaked around the back of his neck and she guided him towards the bed her lips still on his neck and jaw.

She never took charge like this and honestly it was kind of hot, "I was _so lonely_ when you were gone" she whispered, she pushed Phillip onto the bed and straddled his hips.

Phillip supressed a moan, "all I could think was you all through that interview" he said earnestly, he held her waist and brought her down harder, she bit her lip and began grinding against him.

The feeling was too much for him, he needed more, as if reading his mind she reached down and unbuckled his belt, pushing his slacks and boxers down leaving him exposed.

Anne wore a baggy t-shirt and a white pair of underwear, as she undressed him Phillip trailed his hands up under her shirt and felt her chest, he then pulled her t-shirt off over her head and slipped her underwear down her legs.

She felt suddenly shy realising she was naked but her lust for Phillip outweighed her low self-esteem, she grabbed one of Phillip's hands and placed it on her chest again.

He growled in frustration as his desire for her grew, he reached down and positioned himself and then thrust hard upwards.

Anne cried out in surprise and pleasure, "f-fuck" she exhaled, Phillip held her tightly as he moved "feel better now?" He teased breathlessly, she shut her eyes, "shu-t up Carlyle" she managed.

He smirked, "mm I love it when you talk dirty to me" he teased again, she groaned and grinded against him harder, "I swear to- oh god- if you don't shut up I will- uh" she threatened between moans.

He massaged her chest in his hand knowing this would drive her closer whilst simultaneously pissing her off, "what will do? Stop?" He moaned, he had her caught and he knew it.

She grabbed his hips and pulled him deeper, "n-no. Don't stop- Please don't stop- I need to- f-fuck- Phillip" she moaned incoherently meaning she was close.

He only had to thrust up into a few more times before she was a panting mess of moans and cussing. He suddenly remembered the guilt he had felt only ten minutes before then and slowed down, he had not yet finished but the thought of Joe was quickly making him lose his libido.

Anne frowned at him as she composed herself, "what's wrong? Didn't you-" she asked confused, he shook his head and closed his eyes trying to push the image of Joe leaning over his desk out of his mind, he loved Anne. Anne. Anne who he was in the middle of having sex with.

Anne tried to move quicker against him but he knew it was hopeless, he'd lost it. He sighed and pushed her gently off of him, "I can't, I-" he started embarrassed, he realised he'd gone soft.

She kissed him, "hey, it's okay, it happens to all guys" she reassured him. He wanted to tell her the real reason but he couldn't bring himself to voice his concerns to Anne so he merely nodded, not meeting her eye.

She grabbed her clothes and put them on again quickly before cuddling up to him in an attempt to make him feel better but she couldn't help with the gnawing guilt weighing down his conscience.


	16. Josephine Meets The Others

Anne sat on the bed watching Phillip as he struggled with his tie, for some reason he just could not get it right, he yelled in frustration and threw his tie across the room.

Anne stifled a laugh, "do you need any help baby?" She offered sweetly, he looked at her in the mirror, "the stupid tie is broken" he said gruffly.

Anne walked over to the tie and picked it up before walking over to Phillip, she wrapped his arms around his shoulders, "I think maybe I can fix it" she told him playfully.

He growled and looked away, she smiled and grabbed his face, "why are you being so grumpy" she cooed in the voice she used to talk to the Barnum girls. "Because my tie won't work and I'm stressed out and I don't even want to go to this stupid meeting" he cried.

She kissed him softly, "I know baby, I know" she sympathised, he sighed and rested his forehead against hers.

She wrapped the tie around his neck, "now let's fix this tie shall we" she said teasingly, he huffed, "if I can't do it you won't be able to do it" he said stubbornly.

She simply smiled, "okay" she said simply. She effortlessly tied the tie and fastened it around his neck before tucking it under his collar, "done" she said and kissed his cheek.

He said nothing but his frown deepened, she stepped away from him and picked up a hairbrush. She checked her own appearance out in the mirror, she fixed her hair and flattened down her dress, "are you ready to go?" She asked absentmindedly.

He crossed his arms and sighed, "I suppose" he replied reluctantly, Anne took his hand and led him out of their room and into the ring.

The rest of the oddities were already gathered there, Anne went and stood with W.D, Lettie, Charles and Constantine whereas Phillip took his place at the front.

He put on a cheerful front, "okay so guys I have an announcement to make!" He called out, everyone stopped chattering and turned to look at him.

Phillip's eyes scanned the oddities until he found her, "we have a new act, Josephine Willoughby!" He announced, he gestured towards Joe who walked up next to him.

She smiled politely at everyone and waved, "hey I'm Joe, I suppose I'm an acrobat of sorts I can bend myself into _the_ most unimaginable shapes" she laughed.

Everyone whispered to each other excitedly, Anne looked a little surprised but unfazed, "why don't you show everyone Joe?" Phillip suggested.

She nodded and leaned back so her head was now beneath her butt, everyone applauded and cheered, "feel free to drop by my room _any_ day tuts" Charles flirted earning a slap from one of the albino twins.

"She will be living with Lettie, I'm thinking we call her The Human Pretzel, what do you guys think?" Phillip asked clasping his hands together.

There was a collective agreement amongst the oddities.

Phillip stepped subtly away from Josephine, he could feel her looking him up and down again. He looked at Anne but she didn't seem to notice.

He smiled forcefully, "great so that's settled now on other business...". He spent the next hour going through new suggestions for each oddities' act and how to improve them or new business techniques to attract more customers.

When the meeting was over he went and rejoined Anne and their small group, "can we go yet?" Phillip complained, wiping the fake smile off his face.

Josephine stood timidly to the side, Lettie being the kind soul of course invited her into the group, "you look lonely, join our band of misfits" she said light heartedly.

Josephine laughed and walked over, she stood uncomfortably close to Phillip, "nice act" Charles said charmingly, he took her hand and kissed it, "Merci beaucoup" she said blushing slightly.

Anne turned to her, "you speak French? Are you from there?" She asked, Josephine nodded, "yes I was born in Paris and lived there up until a few years ago when I moved to New York" she replied.

Anne then did something none of us were expecting, " _Je ne suis jamais allé à Paris mais j'ai toujours voulu y aller, peut-être un jour_ " she spoke perfect French.

Phillip turned to look at her in shock, Lettie raised her eyebrows her eyes darting between Anne and Josephine, Constantine frowned trying to guess what she had said and Charles admired Anne feeling impressed and a little attracted to her. W.D was the only one who was not surprised.

Josephine obviously had not expected Anne to be able to strike up a conversation in French either, "Wow. _Je ne savais pas que vous parliez français. Vous parlez si bien, parlez-vous couramment?_ " She asked, testing Anne's skills.

W.D stepped forward eager to show off too, " _Elle est ma soeur, nous parlons tous les deux français couramment. Nous avons grandi à la Nouvelle-Orléans et avons toujours été entourés de Français. Nous avons donc appris le français dès le plus jeune âge_ " he told Josephine, also talking in perfect French.

Everyone watched the three of them having no idea what they were saying, "what?" Phillip asked breaking the silence, Anne laughed "I was just saying I would love to go to Paris one day, and W.D told her that we're fluent in French" she explained, "since when?" He asked, "since I can remember" she shrugged.

"Oh I just realised you don't know who most of us are, I'm Constantine, the little guy who keeps flirting with you is Charles, obviously you know Lettie and Phillip and then the two you just spoke French with is W.D and Anne" he introduced everyone eager to change the subject.

Josephine studied Anne and W.D, "what's your act? Or is it just the fact you're black?" She asked bluntly, "Sort of but we also do trapeze together" W.D explained unfazed by her direct question, "what do you mean sort of?" She probed.

Anne took over, "I'm Phillip's girlfriend, we've worked our relationship into the show. Seeing black people being represented and even in healthy relationships with white folk is highly controversial and shocking" she said.

Josephine's eyes widened, "oh you're Phillip's girlfriend?" She asked, Anne nodded, Phillip wrapped his arm around her shoulders to prove a point.

Josephine merely nodded stiffly, "well I have my bed to make" she said going to turn around but Lettie stopped her "allow me, I know the way of things around here" she explained, Josephine thanked her then Lettie left towards the rooms.

"I've got to go too, I have a girl to pick up" Constantine bragged with a smile, W.D batted his shoulder, "you have a date?" He asked, Constantine nodded, "she's called Emily, fingers crossed" he stated before he too walked in the direction of the rooms.

Charles winked at Josephine, "looks like it's just you and me" he stepped towards her, "and us, so don't get any ideas" W.D said putting an arm in front of him.

Charles scowled at him, "you're no fun" he muttered before he sulked off somewhere.

Anne stepped away from Phillip, "hey would you mind if I went and practiced for tonight's show?" She asked, he wanted to say yes, he knew if she went W.D would too and that would mean he'd be alone with Josephine but he didn't want to raise suspicion so he just shook his head, "of course not" he lied.

W.D as predicted perked up, "I'll join you" he offered, Anne kissed Phillip's cheek hurriedly "see you later" she said before she and her brother disappeared together.

Phillip looked awkwardly at Josephine, "Anne seems nice" she said nonchalantly, Phillip nodded swallowing hard, "yes she is" he replied, "I wouldn't expect a man like _you_ to be with a girl like _her_ " she said in a casual tone the same way someone might discuss the weather.

Phillip frowned, "why not?" He asked defensively, she laughed, "oh come on, we both know you could do so much better" she bit her, Phillip laughed dryly, "with who? _You?_ " He spat.

She took a step towards him, he took a step back, "is that what you want?" She asked seductively, he looked away, "of course not. I love Anne" he replied sharply.

She merely shrugged, "for now maybe" she purred, she stroked his chin with her finger, he slapped her hand away instantly.

She just giggled and walked away from him leaving him feeling shocked and angry. He had been right, she really _was_ flirting with him.


	17. WD Built a Bed & Joe Ruined Everything

**Yo author's note, later on in the chapter there is going to be a long conversation between Anne and Josephine completely in French, now I'm going to write it in English to save y'all from a loooot of translating and so if there is *** before a conversation it is in French when there is *** at the end of a conversation it is back in English. That is all.**

In the few weeks Josephine had been at the circus she had seemed to win everyone's hearts and trust. Phillip hated it, nobody else noticed how she acted around him.

She hadn't said anything to Phillip since after her first meeting but she was constantly undressing him with her eyes, making flirtatious jokes, making him feel uncomfortable and guilty.

He began feeling on edge around Anne, as if he had done something wrong, which he knew he hadn't. He was extremely loyal to her but he knew Josephine had expressed an interest in him and he felt as if he couldn't tell Anne.

He felt deceitful and he had absolutely no idea what to do about it, he considered asking P.T for advice but he worried irrationally P.T would judge him.

He in theory knew he would never do that, P.T was completely trustworthy and a father like figure for Phillip but he just couldn't bring himself to voice what had been happening, so he kept it locked up tight inside.

He hated how much everyone already loved Josephine, including Anne.

Constantine liked her as he too was a foreigner to America, he was originally born and raised in Russia until he was 17 when he then moved to America, later to settle down in New York.

They liked to talk about how strange they found America when they first arrived there, neither of them talked English when they first entered the country and struggled to adjust to the American lifestyle.

Charles took a liking to Josephine in more ways than one, he had formed a foolish crush on her and so he would of course do anything for her. Charles was a very lady driven man, Phillip found his advances amusing however, he wasn't exactly subtle in his affections.

The albino twins, Flora and Mary enjoyed having another girl around, they weren't particularly close with any of the other girls, nor did they have a group within the circus like everyone else did.

Josephine however befriended them almost immediately and she went backwards and forwards between the group with Anne, Phillip, W.D, Constantine & Charles and the twins. The twins really enjoyed having a new friend.

P.T loved her because she brought in a lot more customers, nobody have ever seen someone as flexible as her so ticket sales rocketed when they began advertising a human pretzel who could bend herself into any shape.

W.D liked her as she was the closest person to an acrobat he'd ever known besides Anne and so they liked to discuss and compare different tricks they could perform, it turns out Josephine had also done gymnastics as a child in Paris.

Lettie had grown close to Josephine quickly considering they shared a room together, Josephine took a liking to Lettie's humour and who wouldn't like Lettie?

She was warm, friendly, funny and gave great advice.

Anne and Josephine had practically became best friends in the short time Josephine had been at the circus.

Anne loved Lettie dearly but she had to admit she enjoyed having another female friend, one who was a little more laid back and easy going.

Lettie was more of a motherly figure friend to Anne, she knew she could always go to Lettie if she had a problem, or needed comfort but Anne felt like she could gossip easier with Josephine than Lettie.

She also loved being able to talk French frequently again, something she had not done in almost 3 years. She relished into slipping into French mid conversation knowing nobody around them but W.D could understand what they were saying.

Phillip didn't like how close Anne and Josephine had gotten but he knew she made her happy, and besides what's the worst that could come from their friendship? Maybe it would mean Josephine would back off him a little.

He still wasn't happy when he had woken up that morning to Anne getting out of bed early to go out for the day with Josephine.

He had been sleeping with his arms wrapped around her stomach, his head resting comfortably on his chest, he felt her move beneath him causing him to wake up.

He opened his eyes and squinted, trying to wake himself up, he looked up at Anne to see what had caused his disturbance.

She was trying to carefully ease out of his grip to no avail, "sorry, did I wake you?" She asked, he hummed in response and lowered his head to her chest again.

She ruffled his hair and undid his hands around her waist, "I'm going out, you're going to have to let me go I'm afraid" she laughed, he lifted his head again and opened his eyes reluctantly.

She wiggled out from underneath him, "wha- Where are you going?" He asked, he was still trying to adjust to being awake and now his body pillow disappeared from underneath him, "I'm going to town to buy some new clothes with Joe" she told him.

He groaned and reached out for her again as she sat next to him, "do you have to? You're warm and comfortable" he complained, truthfully he felt uncomfortable her spending the day alone with Josephine but she of course couldn't know that.

She ruffled his hair again, she loved how it looked in the morning, "yes I have to go, I'm sorry, you'll have to make do without me" she replied, he whined "but how will I possibly sleep without you here to keep me company?" He sulked.

She slid off the bed and began to dress herself, "oh wait that reminds me, D is building himself a new bed today and told me to ask you if you'll help him. His broke and considering I'm never there anymore he said I can officially move in here and he'll use the extra space to build himself a double bed" she said.

Phillip sat up and rubbed his head trying to shake the sleep off, "your brother wants me to help him build a bed?" He asked dubiously.

Anne nodded, "mhm, he said you used to be manly maybe you could still be useful, it'll give you two the chance to do some bonding as well" she said, now brushing her hair after slipping on a nice skirt and blouse.

Phillip leapt out of bed, "excuse me, _used_ to be manly? I'm still manly" he complained, he really how high his voice sounded, he cleared his throat "I'm manly" he said again in a lower more masculine voice.

Anne nodded, "okay dear" she said with a smile. Phillip grabbed her from behind and pulled her tight against him, he kissed her hard on the back of her next then rested his head on her shoulder, "I'm manly. And anyway if I wasn't which I'm not, it'd be because you made me all soft with all your _boy imma whoop your ass into shape_ " he said imitating Anne's sassy voice

She raised her eyebrow as she watched him in the mirror, he smiled cheekily at her in return. "And your looking so damn cute, I just wanna cuddle you all the time" he added his arms still wrapped around her, he rested his head against hers.

She laughed and nudged him off, "is that really how you think I sound?" She asked in amusement, he smirked "definitely" he teased. She rolled her eyes, "just get your clothes on and get your cute butt over to D's room" she told him.

10 minutes later Anne and Phillip were both ready for their days ahead of them, Phillip dressed in a pair of casual slacks and a white work shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Anne in a long black skirt and a loose white blouse.

Phillip didn't want Anne to leave, he didn't want her spending the day with Josephine but she had no idea any of what was happening nor how much he hated their friendship, "do you have to go out today?" He asked for the third time.

She placed her hands on his chest as he held his around her waist, "yes I need some new dresses" she laughed, he scowled and sighed, "why're you so unhappy today?" She asked.

 _Because you're best friends with the girl who wants to break us apart_ he thought miserably,

"I'm just nervous about spending some one on one time with W.D" he lied. She narrowed her eyes and watched his face closely, he was sure she could tell he was lying, she probably just couldn't work out why.

She seemed to give up after a few seconds, "you'll be fine, D has warmed up to you over the last few months" she assured him, he knew she was right, in truth he wasn't worried at all but W.D, he was actually looking forward to bonding with him.

He just really wished she wasn't so close with Josephine, it didn't seem like a great idea considering his situation.

Anne took his hand and led him out the door, he could already see W.D and Josephine were waiting in the ring for them.

They seemed to be in the middle of a conversation in French, " _-Je pense que je vais essayer la semaine prochaine_ ", she nodded, " _Oui fais le. Ça sonne bien_ ".

They smiled in greeting when they saw Phillip and Anne and turned to face them, "I'm surprised she managed to get you up this early Carlyle" W.D joked, "it's only because I woke up when she got out of bed" he groaned.

Anne turned to Josephine, " _Phillip est impossible le matin, vous ne croiriez pas ce que je dois faire pour sortir ce garçon du lit_ " she laughed, Phillip frowned at her, "what're you saying about me?" He asked defensively.

" _Je pense qu'il est sur nous_ " Josephine replied. Anne laughed again, Phillip grabbed her arm gently, "hey stop that, this isn't fair. What're you saying?" He asked with a grumpy expression on his face.

Anne covered her mouth to hide her laughter, "don't worry, nothing bad I promise" she replied, Phillip turned to W.D who too was laughing at the situation. When he saw Phillip look at him he stopped and held up his hands in surrender.

"I hate you that you can all speak French but me" he complained, "I can teach you French if you'd like?" Josephine offered, "yeah that's a great idea" agreed Anne. Phillip laughed nervously, "you know what? It's not that big a deal, I'll cope" he said hastily.

Anne just shrugged, "alright then, Josephine are you ready to go?" She asked, Josephine nodded, "I'll see you boys later" she told Phillip and W.D.

Anne kissed W.D then Phillip on the cheek, "have fun, and D be nice" she warned him, W.D opened his mouth in protest, "wha-hey! I'm always nice!" He spluttered.

She laughed, "alright alright, bye I love you both" she called over her shoulder as she and Josephine walked away, "I love you too" Phillip and W.D called after her.

Phillip turned to W.D and rubbed his hands together, "so do you have the hardwood already?" He asked, "yeah I picked some up from an old buddy of mine during the week" he said, they began the walk to W.D's room chatting comfortably with each other.

When they entered his room he saw he had already sawed pieces of hardwood they'd use to assemble W.D a bed, "so how have you been doing Carlyle?" W.D asked as they began to pick through the boards to find the best piece to start with.

Phillip shrugged, "I've been alright I suppose, I have nothing to complain about" he answered modestly, W.D laughed, "are you sure? You haven't seemed yourself lately, Anne told me not to tell you this, but she's feeling a little concerned. She's noticed it too" he said.

He appreciated how delicately W.D navigated the conversation, he was being careful not to back Phillip into a corner. They picked out two large pieces of timber they would use as the main frame, "I've just been stressed out, I've had a lot of work recently and sales have been going down and it's just a lot" he lied.

W.D didn't look up, "Phillip, I'm a big brother. I can _tell_ when someone is lying, you can talk to me, what's been bothering you?" He asked. Phillip. W.D never called him Phillip.

In fact he was sure in all the time he'd known W.D he'd never once called him Phillip, always Carlyle and in the time he hated him, thinking he was just chasing after Anne for sex or fun some other rather unpleasant names.

Was W.D actually worried about him? "I think- The thing is-" Phillip tried, he couldn't do it. If he told W.D what was going on he might take it the wrong way, think that Phillip wanted Josephine to make these advances on him.

That wasn't the case at all but Phillip knew how big of an impression Josephine had made on W.D. He was worried if he broke the perfect image everyone had of Josephine then nobody would believe him and he would lose the trust he had worked so hard for with W.D.

Phillip sighed, "it's nothing, as I said, I'm just stressed. I'm still thinking about that letter from my father" he said, the last part wasn't _entirely_ untrue. He had been thinking about the letter, it had been ages now and nothing had happened.

Had his father just said that in an attempt to scare Phillip home? He wasn't sure, but constantly waiting still played with his nerves, not as much as it did before, but he still felt on edge a lot of the time.

W.D knew he was holding something back but decided not to push him, "I understand, I think it scared all of us to tell you the truth" he admitted.

W.D still may not be Phillip Carlyle's number 1 fan but he had learnt to trust him, he had proved he really did love his sister. He had started to care for Phillip, and he would never say it out loud but he would be devastated if anything happened for his friend.

They assembled the main bed frame in silence, "I don't think I'm even worried about myself, don't get me wrong, my dad scares the life out of me, he's terrifying. But I'm more worried he'll hurt one of you" Phillip said after a while.

W.D didn't realise how similar they were, the more he got to know Phillip, the more he could see himself in him, he was always the same growing up with Anne.

W.D put down the hammer for a second, "listen to me Carlyle, and I mean it. I will _never_ let your father hurt you. I will _never_ let him hurt Anne. I will _never_ let him hurt any of us. I can promise you, I _will_ protect you and everyone here" he said seriously.

Phillip felt himself getting emotional, he didn't deserve how well everyone treated him at the circus. He had a whole new family that really looked out for him and really cared for him. W.D and he hadn't always seen eye to eye and here he was now promising to keep him safe.

"I thought you didn't like me" Phillip joked trying to suppress his emotions, his voice cracked a little but W.D chose to ignore that, "well to be fair, Anne has never had a boyfriend in her life because of who she is. I've spent the past 21 years looking out for her and protecting her from the bad white folk. Until I met you and P.T I didn't realise there _were_ any good white folk. White folk only usually want our kind for sex or for fun. Nobody falls in love with the black freaks. But you- you proved me wrong, all along you've cared for Anne, you've loved her and you've treated her right. It took me a while, but I realised… You're a good guy Phillip Carlyle" he said.

That did not help with how emotional Phillip felt, hearing W.D say that meant more to Phillip than he could ever admit. He felt as if he had finally broken through to W.D and from now on they could begin to form a real relationship.

After Anne and Josephine had gone shopping they decided to use the last of the month's paycheck to go get coffee, they both felt exhausted after all the walking they had just done.

 ******* They sat in a cute coffee shop Josephine had told her she knew of, "so how long have you and Phillip known each other?" Josephine asked, leaning forward as she sipped her coffee.

Anne thought for a moment, "well we've been together for 9 months, wow. It doesn't feel that long" She laughed, feeling a little shocked. She couldn't read the expression on Josephine's face, but she leaned forward a little more, "go on" she urged.

Anne thought, "we knew each other for I think 4 and a half months before we got together, it was a little complicated before we got together, because- well there's no point beating around the bush, I'm black and he's white. But he ran into a fire for me and it was torture trying to avoid him when I knew I loved him you know?" She said remembering how difficult it had been to not run to him.

Josephine nodded wistfully, "so like just over a year you'd say?" She asked, that sounded like a lot but for Anne it didn't feel like it. She remembered the second she laid eyes on him like it was yesterday, had he really been involved in her life for a whole year?

Anne looked shocked as she nodded, "yeah it must be, that's crazy! It feels like just yesterday we first met, well not literally but you know what I mean" Anne rambled.

Josephine nodded slowly, she sipped at her coffee not breaking eye contact for a second, "I do" she said thoughtfully.

Anne thought her behaviour seemed a little weird but thought nothing of it, "Phillip's been acting a little strange lately, do you think I should be worried?" She asked suddenly.

She swore Josephine's eyes glinted darkly for a second, but it happened so quick she wasn't sure if she'd actually seen it or if it was just her mind playing tricks on her or the caffeine. She nodded her head sympathetically, "strange how?" She asked.

Anne stared into her steaming cup of coffee, "well… He's been quite jumpy recently, which really isn't normal for him, he seems to be in deep thought a lot of the time too. It's probably my imagination but it's almost been like he's been avoiding me lately, he's working a lot later than he usually does. He's pushing himself impossibly hard right now and setting himself unrealistic goals and expectations. And- hm I don't know if I should tell you this" she stopped herself.

Josephine's eyes lit up with curiosity, "go on, tell me. We're both girls here, besides I can keep a secret" she convinced her.

Anne knew they were friends but could she really talk to someone else about this sort of stuff? She hadn't even told Lottie who was her closest friend, but Josephine was a girl, and she seemed like she would know a lot about this sort of thing…

Anne chewed her lip nervously, "well… Me and Phillip are usually fairly-" She tried to think of the right words, she felt embarrassed and shy talking about this sort of thing.

Josephine listened intently, "go on" she urged, "we are usually quite intimate but in the last few weeks every time we've gone to have _sex_ he'd stop himself once it reached a certain point. He'd allow things to become heated and then he'd suddenly shut down and come up with excuses. He'd say he's too tired or that he just wasn't feeling it, even if his body was telling another story" she explained hesitantly.

Josephine frowned, "so he can't…" she questioned, Anne shook her head, "no that doesn't seem to be the problem, he definitely can but every time we go to take things any further he would get this worried look on his face and stop it from escalating further" she said.

Josephine turned her head away for a second, looking over her shoulder. But nobody was there, "perhaps he's seeing someone else behind your back?" She suggested.

Anne's eyes widened, "do you think that could be it?" She asked a look of horror and anxiety displayed across her face, Josephine reached out and touched Anne's arm, "I'm not saying yes but it sounds like there may be red flags. Working late, jumpiness, lack of sex… All I'm saying is, keep an eye out" Josephine said softly.

Anne stared at the floor, could her worst fears be confirmed? Could W.D have been right about Phillip? She did even really matter at all to him? Had he just formed some twisted year long plan to sleep with her and then cast her away when he got bored? *******

Anne stood up feeling sick to her stomach suddenly, "I need to go home. Right now. I need to speak to W.D" she said, in English again now, she needed to calm herself down, if she allowed herself to get too worked up she could risk having a seizure.

Phillip still didn't know about her condition, maybe she shouldn't even tell him. Oh god was he having an affair? She needed to see W.D. She would explain everything to him and ask him for his advice. He would know what to do and he could help calm her down too.

Phillip and W.D stood before the bed they had made, it wasn't the best bed Phillip had ever seen but they had built it together, and it seemed sturdy enough.

W.D wiped the sweat from his forehead, "you know what we need to do now right?" He asked, Phillip looked up at him, "what's that?" He asked.

W.D grinned from ear to ear, "we need to test it, come on" he said. They both lifted W.D's mattress onto the frame and laid down on it. The bed didn't creak or break whatsoever.

The two boys laughed, "hey we did it!" Phillip cried, W.D lay with a grin, "we did, all in a few hours work too. Maybe you _are_ still manly after all" he teased.

Phillip got up again, "oh shut up Wheeler" he shot, W.D rose from the bed too, he was probably half a foot taller than Phillip.

"Oh yeah? What you gonna do about it huh Carlyle?" He squared up jokily, Phillip pushed him away as the two broke out into laughter.

They both felt exhausted after the hard labour, he wondered if Anne was back yet, "hey I'm gonna go grab us both some water alright?" Phillip said, W.D nodded and sat on the bed, "good call, I'm dying" he panted.

Phillip trudged wearily out of the room and started towards the ring. He stopped when he saw Anne and Josephine walk into the circus, "hey, how did your shopping go? Did you get what you needed?" He asked as she walked towards him.

Something was wrong with her, he sensed it immediately when she walked past him without looking at him, "Anne?" He asked after her. She didn't reply, she just kept walking straight into W.D's room and shut the door.

Josephine who had been walking slightly behind Anne stopped in front of Phillip with a satisfied smile on her face, Phillip's stomach dropped, "what did you do?" He asked.

She shrugged casually, "I didn't do anything, she asked me for advice and I gave it to her" she answered cheerfully.

Anne had looked really off when she came walking towards him, her skin usually glowed a warm caramel colour but she looked pale and clammy. Her eyes were fixed to the floor as she walked, she looked physically tense and her breathing sounded quick and shallow.

Phillip's heart sank, he knew exactly what Anne had asked advice on. He'd been distant with Anne lately as Josephine made advances on him, it played with his mind, he just felt so guilty all the time.

They hadn't had sex since the day he had interviewed Josephine, Anne had tried a few times to initiate it but he shut her down coming up with lame excuses, the truth is he couldn't Josephine out of his head.

Not in the _I want to run away with her_ kind of way more of a _she makes me feel really uncomfortable and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it_ way. He didn't want to think about her when he had sex with Anne, nor did he want to add to the crushing guilt that ate him up inside.

How could Josephine just stand there smiling at him, "how could you?" He spat before he ran to W.D's door.

He heard Anne cry out from inside, it sounded muffled and panicked, " _Anne_?" He called, he tried to open the door but it was stuck. He pushed against it but it wouldn't move.

He felt panic rise as he heard her cry out again, this time more desperate and scared, "Anne what's wrong? Are you okay?" He yelled through the door.

The door swung open and W.D stepped out, he tried to see into the room but he blocked his view, "listen Carlyle, I can't tell you what's happening right now but you need to go back to your room and wait" he told him his voice cold and hard, nothing like it had been moments before.

Phillip tried to see around W.D but he stood firmly in the gap between the open door and the room, he was too tall to look over, "wait for what? What's happening? Tell me she's alright" he stuttered in a desperate mess of illiteracy.

There was a hard bang from inside the room, Phillip's eyes widened in fear of what that noise could be, "Carlyle go now. You're making a scene, that'll only make matters worse. I will tell her to go talk to you later but for now you need to stay in your room and wait for her" he commanded.

His tone told Phillip there was no room for discussion, "t-tell her I love her" Phillip said before W.D shut the door in his face.

He felt his anxiety rise and tears prick his eyes. He went to his room and he waited just as W.D had told him to but Anne _didn't_ come back.

He waited for hours, he waited until it was the evening, there was no show that night so Phillip waited until the night fell and it became dark. There was still _no_ Anne.

But he had no clue what was going on so he waited longer still, he sat on his bed staring at the door for god knows how long. At some point he must've fallen asleep but for as long as he was conscious Anne _did not_ come back.


	18. Broken

Phillip woke with a jolt, remembering what had happened yesterday his hand shot out to feel for Anne on the bed.

When he couldn't feel her he quickly opened his eyes and searched around the room for her.

There was no sign or her, nor any sign that she had been there at all that night either.

Phillip jumped off the bed, still in the dirty sweat soaked clothes he had worn yesterday, now creased and ruffled from him sleeping in them.

He ran out the door and sprinted as fast as he could to W.D's. He faltered, W.D had prevented him from entering or even seeing Anne yesterday.

He hovered outside the door unsure what to do so he knocked hesitantly and waited.

After a few seconds W.D opened the door, a tired expression on his face told Phillip he had just woken up, "what do you want Carlyle?" He asked, distaste clear in his voice.

Phillip felt a little taken aback by his tone, "Anne didn't come home last night, is she here?" He asked, W.D stared at him, his cold hard expression unchanging, "yes she is" he replied bluntly.

Phillip tried to walk forward into the room but W.D shoved him hard in the chest, he stumbled back a few steps, "you can't see her, she's sleeping and she's had a rough night" he said angrily.

A rough night? Phillip needed to know whatever Josephine had told her.

Phillip cocked his head, "a rough night? What's happened? What's wrong with her?" He asked worriedly, W.D shook his head, "you already know you hornswoggler" he spat.

So that's what Josephine had told Anne, she had blamed his odd behaviour caused by her on Phillip having an affair. And of course because of Phillip's past he had confided in Anne, and because Anne and Josephine had become quite close. Anne had believed her.

"You have to believe me, there's no one else but Anne, I _need_ to speak to her" he protested, W.D looked over his shoulder, "no. You need to get away from her, she has all the evidence she needs except a name. See it's a shame you've gone back to your old womanising ways because here was me thinking my sister had changed you, made you a better man. I finally started to think you were a good man. Guess I was right all along _white folk never change_ " he fired at him angrily.

That last line hit Phillip the hardest and stung the most, it took back every nice thing W.D had said to Phillip the day before, it undid all the good progress he and W.D had made over the last 9 months.

"W.D please believe me I-" Phillip begged, W.D didn't look at him, he sucked his teeth and shook his head, "I don't. Now go back to the bar you good for nothing bum, you're never to see my sister again or I will do far worse than whatever your father is planning to do to you" he warned.

He shut the door in Phillip's face, leaving him falling apart inside, what had he done?

The night before had been _hell_ for Anne.

She and Josephine had gotten the first carriage home they could summon, Anne said nothing the whole ride, she knew if she did she would break.

It took so much strength to stop the seizure that was threatening to take over her body, she had gone past the point of stopping it.

She couldn't get the image out of her mind, Phillip with some other girl. _Taking her clothes off, kissing her, touching her as he did to her._ She felt nauseous and sick and tired, she didn't know how long she could hold back the seizure.

She raced into the tent when they arrived outside, Josephine was in hot pursuit.

Anne saw Phillip walking out of W.D's room, he looked hot and sweaty, he was exhausted. But when he saw Anne his whole face lit up, sending the pain in her gut stabbing her deeper.

She cast her eyes to the floor, unable to look at him, "hey, how did your shopping go? Did you get what you needed?" He asked, she walked straight past him without looking up.

If she looked at him the pain would take over her body, she couldn't explain it to him. Not now.

"Anne?" He called after her.

She broke into a run for W.D's room, it felt too much, she couldn't stop it. She managed to shut the door before she fell to the floor and began shaking violently.

W.D looked up in surprise, not expecting to see his sister. He jumped to his feet when he saw her panicked expression, when he saw her fall and begin having a seizure.

He picked her up gently, her twitching in his arms and he placed her on the bed, her head on the pillow, "What happened?" He asked her, despite knowing she couldn't reply in this state.

Anne felt the waves of emotional pain begin to wash over her, making the fitting worse. _How could he do this to her? Was she not enough?_

All she could see in her mind over and over was _Phillip kissing another girl_ , she wanted to scream.

She began to cry out between fits, filled with panic, pain and anger at once.

W.D stroked her head in attempt to sooth her, "Anne, shh, calm down. Whatever you're thinking about stop. Whatever it is, it's okay" he said in his clear, soft voice he used whenever Anne did this.

 _Stop thinking about it? How could she? Her whole world was falling apart. Phillip._ Oh no, _Phillip_ would try to check on her.

"Ph-ngah" she managed putting all her energy into trying to form words, W.D understood her well enough, "okay, I'll block the door, but I'm right here, alright" he told her leaving her side.

He heard a grunt of effort a few seconds later as Phillip had tried to enter the room, "Anne?" He called, his voice sounded concerned.

Why? He didn't love her

Anne's body shook harder, she cried out again, she began to panic all over again. He couldn't see her like this, his presence usually calming now felt overwhelming and foreign, it scared her.

He pushed harder against the door, "Anne what's wrong? Are you okay?" He yelled through the door.

 _No. She wasn't. He made her feel worse, he needed to go_. She tried to stop herself when her mouth cried out again but she wasn't in control of her body.

W.D sighed and opened the door slightly, "listen Carlyle, I can't tell you what's happening right now but you need to go back to your room and wait" he said.

Anne relaxed slightly at him making Phillip leave, but Phillip being the man he was would not give up that easy "wait for what? What's happening? Tell me she's alright".

He sounded desperate and he stumbled over his words, why did he care. HE DID NOT LOVE HER.

Her eyes began to leak with tears as she heard his voice, she wanted to hug him and hear everything was going to be alright but she couldn't stand to be around that jerk, he hurt her then more than anyone had hurt her in her entire life.

Anne's body jerked violently as she got more and more emotional, her arm started hitting the wooden bed uncontrollably, it really hurt but she couldn't control her body to stop it.

Phillip gasped at the sound, "Carlyle go now. You're making a scene, that'll only make matters worse. I will tell her to go talk to you later but for now you need to stay in your room and wait for her" W.D said angrily, he was mad she was hurting and he didn't know why or how to help her.

Anne prayed that this would be enough, "tell her I love her" she heard him say as W.D shut the door.

 _No he didn't. That was a lie. Her whole life for the past 9 months had been a lie. All the confidence Phillip had helped her build failed, it was all gone in a heartbeat._

W.D returned to her side on the bed, he grabbed her arm and held it so she could no longer hurt herself, her arm twitched and struggled against his grip but he held her tight.

He spoke to her softly and calmly, her body began to stop fitting so violently, she began to slowly gain control back, her seizure was coming to an end.

When Anne could move again she lay there panting as she recovered. After a minute she sat up and the tears flowed more freely, she held her face in her hands and sobbed.

W.D wrapped an arm around her and held her as she cried, she turned her face and buried it in her brother's chest, "what's wrong Annie? What happened?" He asked as she cried.

 _Annie_. That was her childhood nickname W.D used to call her, now he only used it when she was upset.

She took a deep breath "Phillip- had- an- affair" she gasped between hiccups. She cried harder and felt W.D tense against her, "he what?" He roared.

Anne felt her brother hug her tighter, his breathing got heavier as he looked down at his fragile little sister sobbing in his arms, he was furious, "Josephine- told me- because" Anne tried again but couldn't finish her sentence.

W.D held her at arm's length and looked at her now puffy from crying face, "okay, come on now. I can't understand you until you stop crying" he said, he grabbed a rag from next to his bed and dried her tears with it.

Anne tried taking deep breaths in and out to stop the flow of tears, she couldn't manage to stop herself completely but she managed to compose herself slightly.

Her shoulders slumped forward as the reality of the situation hit her hard, "Phillip as you know had been acting strange recently so I asked Josephine and described to her everything that been going on. She told me they were all classic signs a man is having an affair" She explained weakly.

W.D's eyes flared with rage, "that bastard" he screamed, he went to get up but Anne put out her arm to stop him, he settled on the bed again and wrapped his arm around Anne.

She needed his comfort right now, he had no idea what he could say, "do you have any idea who it could be?" He asked.

Anne shook his head, "it must be someone in the circus, he never leaves the tent" she decided. She thought about all the girls at the circus, they all knew he was with Anne and there were very few women, so who could it be?

Anne began to cry again at the thought, "I'll talk to P.T when we find out who, I'll make sure whoever it is gets fired as long as that no good ass Carlyle" he growled.

Anne felt overwhelmed and emotional, _how could Phillip do this to her? She gave him everything she could, she loved him unconditionally, she protected him as best as she could, she had given him her body, something she had done for no man before him._

 _How could it be over?_

She couldn't erase the image of _some other girl getting to kiss and touch her man_ from her mind.

She felt sick to her stomach, _he wasn't hers anymore, had he ever been?_ The image burned through her mind sending wave after wave of pain to her broken heart.

It was too much to bare, she turned her head and vomited all over the floor which only made her begin to sob again.

W.D got up and began to clean up her mess, "I'm so sorry" Anne apologised over and over through her tears, W.D just shook his head and smiled at his sister, "don't worry about it, seriously, it's okay" he promised her.

She really did have it tough that night, she couldn't stop herself crying, she cried for hours through the night W.D cradling her and comforting her until Anne's exhaustion took over and she passed out.

She had cried herself to sleep that night and it wouldn't be the last time that week she would.


	19. The End?

Phillip was aware there was a show that night but the pain is his chest was too much to take, he went to his office and found the emergency bottle of whiskey he kept in his bottom drawer.

He shut the door and held his back to it staring at the bottle in his hand, with Anne's help he'd managed to go 9 whole months without a drop of alcohol.

He sat upon his desk staring at the door, if Anne came in right now and told him not to do it he wouldn't, he waited in suspense for something that wouldn't happen.

 _His door flew open, Anne stood there looking concerned despite her weak fragile state, "no stop! Don't do it" she told him in a weak voice, he could tell she'd been crying, she had practically no voice left from crying._

 _She rushed towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck, "I'm so sorry" he whispered against her shoulder, she sniffed, "no. I'm sorry, I know you would never cheat on me" she said, stroking his hair._

Phillip shook his head, the door was closed and he was still alone, holding the bottle of whiskey. No Anne came and stopped him when he cracked open the lid.

No Anne when he cast the lid aside and lifted the bottle to his lips.

There was no Anne when he took a long swing, the whiskey burning his throat.

He heard Anne's cries from W.D's room echoing in his head, he imagined her crying her eyes out on his bed because of him. He imagined a look of hurt and betrayal on her face, " _how could you?_ " She asked her voice cracked and she turned away from him.

Phillip shook his head, "No!" He screamed pulling at his hair, he downed another mouthful of strong whiskey. He could already feel it slowing his senses, numbing his mind.

He needed to forget everything. Josephine, last night when Anne didn't return home, the way he felt when W.D called him that name, revealing what Anne had thought he'd done. He needed to not remember.

He place his hand on the desk for balance as he wobbled precautiously, "fuck the show" he muttered before taking another large swig.

W.D had disappeared out for a minute to tell Lettie, Constantine and Charles what had happened so they could help their friend through the pain she felt.

She sat alone in W.D's room, her old stuff she hadn't yet collected stacked neatly in the corner, the show was in an hour and although W.D offered to make an excuse for her she was determined to perform.

She'd performed on a broken heart once she could do it again, she knew she had to go to their- _Phillip's_ room to grab her performing clothes.

She took a deep breath and wiped the tears as best as she could from her eyes, she would grab her clothes and leave, she wouldn't look at him.

She walked quickly to his room and pushed the door open without knocking, she felt completely surprised to see he wasn't in there.

Right he was probably with the other girl now he didn't need to sneak around after work.

It looked like he had been gone all day, his clothes were still laid out on his desk untouched, had he slept in yesterday's clothes then disappeared she wondered.

She grabbed her performing clothes from his drawer and walked back to W.D as she thought of what might have happened to Phillip.

Why would he not dress before going to see his secret lover?

W.D had not yet returned when she entered her room again and so she quickly changed into her clothes for the show, she couldn't do her wig though, she'd need Lettie's help.

Anne grabbed a damp cloth and wiped her eyes so you could no longer see the streaks her tears had left down her cheeks, her eyes were red and puffy from her constant crying but makeup could easily fix that.

When she knocked on Lettie's door it swung open to reveal everyone was already inside, W.D had obviously just explained to them what had happened as they all wore shocked expressions.

Lettie pulled Anne for a tight hug and rubbed her back, "I'm so sorry dear" she comforted her, Constantine stood up, "I cannot believe it, Carlyle always seemed so… Infatuated with you" he said, Anne nodded "I thought so too" she replied bitterly.

Josephine watched from her bed, "I'm sorry Anne, you deserve so much better than him" she said emotionlessly.

Anne sat in front of Lettie's mirror and she began to tie her long curly hair into a bun, "have you seen Phillip today? He wasn't in his room when I went to grab my clothes" Anne said.

Lettie frowned and shrugged, "no I hadn't seen him at all, I'd assumed he'd spent the day with you until W.D told me the bad news" she said.

Charles laughed angrily, "he's probably spent the day with his _whore_ " he spat, Anne flinched and sighed, "I can't believe it's over" she said numbly.

It didn't feel real, it felt like a bad dream she would simply wake up from, she would find Phillip soundly asleep in the bed next to her and she would cuddle up to him to reassure herself none of it had been real.

But it _was_ real, _this was really happening._

When everyone was ready for the show they gathered around Anne in Lettie's room, "are you sure you're ready for this?" W.D asked, Anne looked at all her friends supportive faces and nodded, "the show must go on" she laughed quietly.

Lettie held her hand as they walked out of the room and to backstage where they waited before their performances. Anne heard the crowds chattering in the stands, they buzzed excitedly, eager for the show to start.

There was no Phillip to be seen, all the other oddities were in place, there was probably 5 minutes to go until the show started and the ringmaster wasn't there.

Constantine growled, "I'll go find him and drag his sorry ass over here" he said and stormed off in the direction of Phillip's room.

Anne was sure she'd just seen Josephine smile but when she caught Anne's eye she gave her a sympathetic look, "everything will be okay" she said rubbing her arm.

W.D clenched his fist as he glared towards the ring, "it's one thing breaking your heart and now he doesn't bother to turn up for work?" He snapped.

Constantine returned from the direction of Phillip's office with a nervous expression after searching there when he'd found Phillip's room empty, "uh Lettie, I think I need your help" he said. Lettie squeezed Anne's hand, "I'll be right back" she told her before following Constantine.

When they came back a few minutes later they returned with Phillip but something was very off. They dragged him between them, his head lulled back and forth as they walked, he was barely able to stand up.

Worry flared in Anne's chest but she hid it and held an angry expression on her face, Phillip gulped when he saw her, "guess who decided to drink a whole bottle of whiskey before the show" Constantine said putting Phillip down and waving an empty bottle of whiskey.

Phillip had been drinking? He'd been sober for 9 months. Had she drove him to do this?

Phillip grabbed the bottle and threw it across the tent away from them all, "it's not that bad, I lost track of time, I'm ready to perform" he slurred.

Charles looked at him in disgust, "for gods sake Carlyle, you're a mess" he said, Phillip shook his head, "I just had a little drink, I'm ready to do the show" he insisted.

Lettie grabbed his shoulder to steady him as he tripped over his own feet, she looked at him with disappointment in her eyes "you can't do the show like this" she told him, W.D stepped forward, "he's going to have to, what else can we do? We don't have enough time to get P.T to come down here" he said.

Phillip pointed at W.D, "he's right, so let's just-" he turned around and tapped his cane against the floor to prove his point.

Josephine smirked, "the show must go on" she echoed Anne's earlier words.

To say the show was a disaster was an understatement, Phillip could barely stand let alone dance, he knocked into the other oddities when he attempted to go through his routine.

On the end sequence when he was supposed to sing with Anne he awkwardly just paused so she had to sing the part solo and he didn't kiss her of course.

The gap in the performance was obvious, it looked so messy and the crowd picked up on how tense the atmosphere was, they didn't applause when Phillip ended the show rather abruptly but just murmured to their friends and left.

Anne face palmed when Phillip tried to leave the ring after ending the show but tripped over the trim and landed face first in the straw.

She tried to hide how guilty she felt at seeing Phillip this drunken mess, he was too drunk to function after 9 months of sobriety she had driven him to drink again.

A few of the oddities sprung to their boss's rescue, hauling him to his feet and dusting him off, he patted their face in thanks and tried to walk over to Anne but just fell over himself again.

This time nobody helped him up. Anne ignored her head telling her to just go back to W.D's and ignore Phillip.

She walked over to him and offered her hand, "Anne we need to talk" he slurred, she shook her head and looked away, " _no. We don't_. You're _drunk_ Phillip" she said harshly.

He silently took her hand and she pulled him to his feet, he stumbled forward and she caught him in his arms, it felt good to touch him again.

Once he was stable she took a step back, "you've been sober for all this time, why the hell would you throw that away" she yelled angrily, but she was more angry at herself than him.

He looked at her in shock, she could see the pain in his eyes. He looked ready to cry but she didn't care.

 _Yes she did_ , but he didn't need to know that, "Anne let me explain" he begged, he swayed drunkenly but stayed standing.

She put her hand on her hip, "fine, explain to me why you would completely betray me like this, what have you got to say for yourself?" She shot hotly.

He opened his mouth and closed it again, "I-" he started, she raised her eyebrow, "go on" she said.

Josephine had noticed the two arguing and wrapped an arm around Anne, "we should go" she said starting to lead her away but she kept her eyes on Phillip, "well?" She asked.

Phillip lowered his head, a look of shame written across his face told Anne everything she needed to know, "I can't tell you but you need to trust me".

Anne shrugged off Josephine and stormed write up to Phillip, she grabbed his chin roughly and forced him to look at her, " _you hurt me Phillip_ , you've caused me more pain than I've ever felt in my _entire life_ , why should I trust you?" tears threatened to spill from her eyes.

He looked at her pleadingly, "Anne, I love you" he told her, she released his chin and turned away back to Josephine.

"Goodbye Mr Carlyle" she said and walked back to her friend. Josephine hugged her tightly and took her back to her room with W.D as she began to cry.


	20. They Both Destroy Themselves

It had been a week since Anne had spoken to Phillip. He missed her so much he didn't know what to do with himself.

In the week she had been gone his life had fallen apart, he wasn't eating, he wasn't sleeping. He had stopped going to work because all the oddities got annoyed at him when he was showing up to work drunk everyday so P.T had stepped in.

He had tried to talk to Phillip to find out what was going on but Phillip refused to tell him anything.

P.T knocked on Phillip's door, "piss off" he yelled from inside, he'd been extremely hostile to anyone who approached him since Anne left, "Phillip? It's P.T" he said through the door.

There was a pause, "piss off P.T" Phillip corrected. P.T pushed open the door and recoiled at the smell, the room stunk of stale whiskey and dirty socks.

Phillip sat on the floor in front of his bed surrounded by empty whiskey bottles in the dark. He looked terrible.

He had a dark 9 O'Clock shadow, his hair was scruffy and unkempt, he looked thin and pale, his clothes were dirty and smelled strongly of whiskey and sweat. He sat hunched over a half empty bottle and wouldn't look at P.T.

P.T shut the door quietly and knelt down next to Phillip on the floor, "Charles tells me you've been showing up to work drunk every day, what's going on son?" P.T asked laying a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Phillip yanked his shoulder away and shuffled away from P.T "fuck off Barnum, you won't believe me, _no one will_ " he hissed taking another swig of whiskey.

P.T reached out to grab the bottle, "I think you've had enough" he said but Phillip yanked it back, spilling some on himself, "piss off!" He screamed then held his head in pain.

He was hungover and drunk at once, it was not a fun combination.

P.T took his hand back but stayed where he was, watching Phillip, "you were sober for so long Phillip, what happened? Why did you start drinking again? Tell me what happened with Anne" he said softly.

Phillip groaned, "I didn't do it" he mumbled, "do what?" P.T asked, Phillip turned his back to P.T, "just leave me alone to die" he spat bitterly. P.T straightened up looking down sadly at his friend, "you know where I am when you can see sense, just know that I care about you" he said then left.

Phillip hated himself, this was all his fault he should've done things different, he should've told Anne. Now it was too late, he'd fucked up the one thing he truly cared about.

He drained the last of his whiskey, that was his last bottle, he would have to go to the liquor store again for the third time that week.

He grabbed his hat and stood up unsteadily, he walked out of the door and walked into Lettie.

She grabbed his arm, "where are you going Carlyle?" She asked, he tried to tug his arm away but she kept her strong grip, "why do you care?" He growled.

Lettie let him go, "you can't go outside" she told him firmly, Phillip sighed "oh I don't care, let my dad kill me! I don't want to be alive anyway, I'll either drink myself to death or my dad will get to me but either way it doesn't matter" he yelled.

Lettie sighed, he stumbled his way to the exit of the tent, he heard her call for Constantine, he was the one who kept an eye on him the most.

He didn't understand why they were still protecting him anymore, it was clear they hated him for what he did to Anne, or what they thought he did.

Phillip made a run for the exit but he felt Constantine tackle him, he fell hard against the ground but he was too drunk to feel it.

Constantine sat on him so he couldn't move, "where do you think you're going Mr Carlyle?" He asked, his Russian accent was still heavy in his voice, sometimes making it hard to understand him.

Phillip groaned and tried to wriggle free, "I need more whiskey" he gasped, Constantine laughed "no way, you're a mess" he said, "I need to forget" Phillip growled and pushed Constantine off him.

Constantine's face flashed with anger, "forget what? How you broke that girl of yours? I hope that whore you fucked was worth it" he spat, Phillip clenched his fists, "I told you I didn't do it! Why won't anyone believe me" He screamed.

Everyone started looking at him now, a crowd was gathering around them, "go back to bed you drunk" Constantine said coldly, Phillip lost his temper he tried to swing at Constantine but he was too drunk to connect he lost his balance and fell face first at his feet.

W.D emerged from the crowd and grabbed Phillip by his collar, "let's go" he said and dragged Phillip back to his room.

Anne tried to go around her business as usual as best as she could but it was difficult when she was falling apart.

She put all her time and energy into trapeze, she would practice for as long as her body let her in the day and pour her heart and soul into every performance at night.

Phillip had shown up drunk for the first few shows that week but then he disappeared into his room and didn't come out again unless it was to get more alcohol he could slowly poison himself with.

Anne tried her best to not think about him, she would turn away from his room when she rehearsed so she wouldn't have to look at the closed door. Inside she knew he was killing himself with bottle after bottle.

She swallowed the guilt she felt, it wasn't her fault. _He's_ the one in the wrong. _He's_ the one who had an affair.

Anne had grown cold to everyone but W.D, she would rather act cold and distant than reveal how she felt inside.

 _Weak, vulnerable and pathetic._

The possibility that Phillip was telling the truth tugged at her mind but whenever she voiced her doubt to Josephine she told her _he was lying to her, he had had an affair and now he was just trying to save his reputation._

She told Anne _Phillip didn't care about her, Phillip was a good for nothing womaniser, who had never changed, he'd only pretended to._

Anne only had one question, if that was true why did he try so hard to make Anne believe different? He ran into a fire for her, he got beaten up so bad he ended up in hospital for her, he stayed sober all that time for her, _why?_

At night she couldn't sleep, her cold hard exterior crumbled when she was alone or sleeping in W.D's room at night. She would cry herself to sleep every night that week.

Keeping herself away from Phillip like this felt very similar to when they had first met, the chemistry was there but she didn't allow herself to be around Phillip.

Whenever she was she'd fall deeper and deeper in love with him, so she would avoid him, try her best to ignore him whenever he was around.

This felt very similar to that, but she got Phillip in the end then. Now she just got to feel more and more miserable every day.

She had W.D watch out for her, make sure she didn't go running back to Phillip no matter how bad she wanted to.

She really really wanted to. She missed him so much.

She missed his touch, and his voice, and his smile. He missed _her_ Phillip.

Now whenever she saw him he seemed like a totally different man.

He'd lost so much weight in the week they'd been apart, she knew he hadn't been eating. He looked so rough in appearance and he was angry all the time.

He was nothing like the man she'd fallen in love with, he was usually so gentle and kind and caring.

She had everyone in their friendship group secretly looking out for him despite what happened, they were all angry at him but she'd begged them to make sure he was safe.

Lettie had tried to get him to eat food and he had screamed at her, she left furiously and told Anne not to bother, he was a lost cause, whoever was in that room of his, it wasn't Phillip anymore. _Phillip was long gone._

All that was left of Phillip was angry shell of the man he used to be.

Anne knew if she didn't do something Phillip would drink himself to death, he wouldn't live until the end of the year. But she was hurting too much to be able to face him.

She had watched from one of the bars suspended above the circus as Lettie stopped Phillip from leaving, she watched as he tried to hit Constantine and fell flat on his face, she watched as W.D dragged him roughly back to his room.

It broke her inside to see how much Phillip had changed already, she knew she was the only one who could fix it but she just couldn't bring herself to do it.

Phillip landed with a heavy thud as W.D threw him into his room and shut the door.

He remembered he had one last bottle of whiskey hidden under the bed, he opened it with a satisfying crack and took a large gulp.

He stared at the baggy shirt Anne slept in that was lying on the floor a few feet away. It was all he had left of her, he picked up the shirt carefully as if it might break.

He cradled it to his chest, sniffing it. The smell of Anne filled his nose, if he closed his eyes he could imagine he was holding her.

A fresh tear rolled down his cheeks, "what if we rewrite the stars?" He sang quietly in a broken voice. He took another gulp of whiskey, "say you were made to be mine" He cried.

He held the shirt against his face as he sobbed, "nothing could keep us apart" he managed before he completely lost it.

Once that was their song and now it was just a sad solo he sang as he drunk himself to sleep alone on what was their bedroom floor hugging the last thing he had of her.


	21. Anne Leaves Phillip and Josephine Alone

Phillip snuck out to get more whiskey whenever the oddities were performing in the show Lettie, W.D, Constantine and Charles were always too distracted thinking about the show to notice Phillip slipping past them to the exit and sneaking back into his room.

Anne however always noticed, he would always leave around half past 8, when she was back stage. She'd watch him try his best to leave quickly but he got more and more hungover every day, he felt terrible all the time. Physically as well as emotionally.

His head was always pounding, the good thing was it hurt too bad for him to think. He always shrunk away at any source of light, he always felt dehydrated, he always felt nauseous. Every time he walked too quickly he would retch to throw up, but he had no food in his system to be sick.

Anne watched Phillip as he winced at the sound of the music when he opened the door, he slid his hat lower so she could no longer see his eyes, he tried his best to block the bright lights.

She felt the now familiar pain in her heart increase. Phillip crept silently against the tent wall, hiding in the shadows. He stopped for a second, she'd watched him enough to see he was looking out for W.D or Constantine.

If they spotted him they would tackle him or rough him up a bit before taking him back to his room.

Phillip continued onwards as he decided the coast was clear. Whenever the stall, casting the shadow ended Phillip was hit with bright shining lights that made the pain in his head worse.

Anne sighed as Phillip doubled over and gagged, his body dry heaving in an attempt to vomit but he had nothing to bring up.

She'd had enough of avoiding Phillip, pretending she didn't see him wrecking himself. She was the only one who'd be able to talk any sense into him, yes it would be painful but she couldn't stand by and watch him kill himself.

He made it to the exit of the circus before she ran after him, he leaned on the wall outside savouring the cool fresh air in the dark where it was quiet. He pushed off the wall and began his walk to the liquor shop, "Mr Carlyle, stop" she told him.

He froze in his tracks and held his breath, was it really her or was it just another one of his drunken illusions. He turned slowly to face her, his eyes looked wild.

Anne sighed and walked towards him, "what're you doing?" She asked already knowing the answer, "I need more" was all he said. Disappointment was written all over Anne's face, he couldn't stand it.

"Stop. Stop drinking. Stop starving yourself. Stop throwing your life away" She said, her voice shook. This was harder than she thought it'd be, she wanted nothing more than to run forward and hug him tightly, she'd never let go and she'd tell him how much she loved him and she'd put him back together but she couldn't. She couldn't allow herself to do that.

Phillip hung his head as if he was ashamed, "I can't. I need it. I can't stand myself when I'm sober, I need to drown my thoughts out. I can't take it" he began to cry, Anne hugged her arms to her body, it was taking all her strength not to comfort him.

He did this to himself she reminded herself, he hurt you. He betrayed you.

"You did it for 9 months Mr Carlyle, you don't need to drink" she said trying to keep the emotion out of her voice, he shook his head and sniffed, "no. I could only do it because I had you. You made me stronger. Without you I'm-" he gestured to himself.

Anne looked away, the guilt of seeing him so vulnerable was too much for her, "who was she? Please don't lie to me, I can tell when you lie to me" she stated, Phillip stopped crying, he tried to gather himself again.

As best as he could do when he had god knows how much alcohol in his system, "I can't tell you. I want to, but I just can't. I never wanted her Anne. Please believe me, I didn't do anything" he pleaded.

So there was a girl, he didn't seem to be lying but he had just confirmed to her there was someone else, he displayed all the signs. Josephine had told her about all the stories she had heard about Phillip, she wished they weren't true but something told her they were.

It definitely wouldn't be out of nature for Phillip, if he really was still who he used to be then she would not put this past him.

She felt angry remembering all the horrible things he had done in the past, he might've had a rough upbringing but that did not excuse any of it, "did you seriously think I wouldn't find out?" She asked.

Phillip looked up, a confused expression on her face, did she already know? "I'm not sure, I wasn't thinking, I just wanted to protect you" he stammered, she laughed "protect me? You completely betrayed me and you broke my heart" she yelled.

W.D appeared at the entrance of the circus, his eyes widened when he saw Anne yelling at Phillip. He walked quickly towards them both, "I told you to stay away from her, let's go you're a waste of space white nobody" he roared, he grabbed Phillip by the collar and kicked his knee so he fell to the floor.

W.D then dragged him forcefully across the ground back to the circus, "stop" Anne told him but he ignored her, "stop it!" Anne told him again but he didn't even acknowledge her.

When W.D dragged him into the theatre the oddities backstage stopped what they were doing and watched. Anne pursued W.D trying to break his grip from Phillip's collar but he was much stronger than her, " _Wilfred Darence James Wheeler_ you let him go _right now_ " she hissed as loudly as she could without the crowds hearing her.

W.D stopped and turned to her with a mortified look on his face, "did you just use my full name?" He gasped in disbelief, "yes I did. Now let him go or I will use much more embarrassing things against you" she promised, he growled and let Phillip drop to the floor.

He struggled to rise to his feet, "thanks" he mumbled before going to retreat back to his room, "hold it" Anne commanded.

She turned back to W.D "if I ever see you hurt him again you'll be sorry, I don't care what he's done or not done, don't you lay a finger on him like that again" she said angrily.

Josephine emerged from the crowd of oddities, "what's going on?" She asked, Anne glanced over at her, "I spoke to Phillip then W.D tried to take him back to his room" she explained.

She looked at Phillip once more, he waited for her to do something, he wondered why she told him to stay. She took a deep breath before she looked back to Josephine, "I'm ready to hear him out" she announced.

Josephine looked at her in shock, "Anne are you sure that's really a good idea?" She asked, Anne nodded, "I want to know why he did it, I want to know everything, I'll hear what he has to say" she said.

Phillip's perked up at that, "you will?" He asked, for the first time in two weeks he began to feel hopeful.

W.D glanced at the ring, "Anne, we're on. We've got to go" he said, "but-" she protested, Josephine grabbed her arm, "Anne if you really want to hear him out I've already finished my performance, I will listen to everything he has to say and I'll tell you exactly what he tells me, you can make a decision then" she told her.

Anne studied Phillip's face for a second, "okay, thank you" she decided. Phillip's face fell, his hope was put out just as quick as he had found it, "no, Anne. I have to tell you, it has to be you directly" he said desperately.

She looked towards the ring, "I don't have time Carlyle, it's her or nothing" she said bluntly, Phillip knew there was no point talking to Josephine but maybe if he showed how willing he was to do anything to fix it he could talk to her after the show.

He nodded glumly, "fine I'll tell her" he agreed, Anne smiled ever so slightly before she and W.D took off to the ring.

Josephine turned to Phillip and smirked when they were alone, "where to? The bar?" She asked.

Phillip looked after Anne and nodded reluctantly.


	22. Josephine Begins To Reveal The Truth

Phillip and Josephine sat at the bar, Phillip with a large glass of whiskey and Josephine with a glass of wine.

Phillip looked at her, "why did you offer to talk to me?" He asked, Josephine placed her hand on Phillip's thigh, "how else would I get you alone? It's been a lot more difficult since you've locked yourself up in your room all day drinking" she purred.

Phillip took a large swig of his whiskey, "stop it" he mumbled. Josephine removed her hand but continued staring at him with want for him in her eyes, "you know I didn't cheat on Anne why would you tell her that?" He spat.

She laughed evilly, "oh Phillip, this is all part of my plan. Of course you didn't cheat on Anne, you're the most loyal man I know" she replied.

He growled and slammed his fist against the bar, "why are you doing this to me?" He asked, "because I want you Phillip and with Anne in the way I'd never have been able to get to you" she whispered.

She trailed her hand up his thigh but he slapped it away, "you'll never have me. I don't care if she hates me or not, I will never stop loving Anne for a second" he promised.

She sipped her wine thoughtfully, "oh I know, that's why I'm going to take everything you love away from you until you have nothing. That's how I'll break you" she said darkly.

Phillip stared at her in shock, "who are you?" He mustered, "you're quick, I like that. It is true I am not Josephine Willoughby. My real name is Margaux" she admitted.

Phillip felt uneasy, he downed his whiskey and ordered another, the buzz took the edge off his nerves, "what did you do with the real Josephine?" He asked.

The fake Josephine swilled her wine, "she is safe, for now" she said carelessly, Phillip's stomach lurched.

The situation was a lot worse than he had imagined, suddenly taking a dark and dangerous twists, the worst part is he had no one to help him, if he was to help the real Josephine then he had to act fast.

"Why did you lie about who you are?" He asked, she shrugged, "all will be revealed in due time". What the hell did that mean?

"What do you want?" Phillip demanded, she stroked Phillip's chin, "you already know what I want mon Cherie" she drawled.

Phillip didn't resist this time, he wouldn't want to aggravate her, she could potentially be dangerous, "you're supposed to be hearing me out right now, what are you going to tell Anne after?" He asked.

She smiled angelically, "you told me how she wasn't good enough for you, you realised your father was right, you shouldn't be wasting your time with a _dirty nigger_ like _her_ , so you figured you'd have your fun with her and cast her aside. Once you were done with her however you realised you couldn't do that or else W.D and Constantine would kill you and so you stuck around and played the good boyfriend, you pretended to love and care for her but deep down you couldn't wait to get rid of her. I'll tell her you had been seeing a girl from a rich upper-class family similar to yours the whole time behind her back and that it was her you had truly fallen for" she explained.

Phillip's heart shattered, if she told Anne that it would destroy her, she would never trust anyone again and her already low self esteem would take a hard hit. She would not be able to cope with the news, it would send her into an uncurable depression, she would _never_ be the Anne he knew and loved again.

Phillip stoop up quickly, "that's a lie and you know it" he screamed in rage, Margaux watched him in amusement, "that's the point, if I told her the truth she would be restored back to her confident happy self again" she rolled her eyes.

Phillip sunk into his seat, he really had no idea what to do, he felt himself to begin to panic. He could not let her say that to Anne, "please, don't do this. I love Anne more than I knew it was possible to love someone. It'll kill her if she hears that, please. I'll do whatever you want just don't hurt Anne" he begged.

Margaux yawned, "oh how sweet, god you two are disgustingly in love, it makes me _sick_ " she said sarcastically, Phillip's mind raced, he formed a poorly constructed plan but it was better than nothing.

His mind screamed in protest as he picked up her hand, "if you tell Anne the truth I'll run away with you, I will give myself to you and be nothing less than the perfect boyfriend. I'll give you whatever you want, just tell Anne the truth" he promised.

Margaux roared with laughter, "you really think I'm stupid enough to do that? If I told Anne the truth she'd kill me for what I've put you both through. I'm smart enough to know I do not want to mess with Anne" she replied.

Phillip cursed, he also knew if she had told Anne everything then she would forgive him and hate her, he had no clue what she would do to Margaux but he knew it would not be pretty. He could live happily ever after with Anne again.

"Face it, I have you trapped. There is nothing you can do, especially not like this. Look at yourself, you're pathetic, you haven't been sober in nearly two weeks. Your liver is probably in an unfixable state, you can't go two feet without feeling the urge to throw up. You haven't eaten anything substantial in a long time, you're so weak a child could beat you up" she laughed cruelly.

She was right, in this state he could do nothing, he was useless the way he was now. He vowed to fix himself and get better again so he could make things right, he would not let her hurt Anne anymore. He would stop drinking and build up physical strength so he could defeat her.

"You're right" he said in defeat, "of course I'm right, I knew exactly what I'm doing, I also know whilst you've been talking, whilst you've been distracted for the past 5 minutes or so you haven't been drinking" she noted.

Phillip looked at his half full glass of whiskey, "so?" He asked, "so when you ordered the drink I slipped a little something into your drink, you were too distracted to notice, I'd say you've probably drank enough for it to work its magic, it'll hit you soon enough".

Phillip's eyes widened, "what?" He asked, he began to panic, what had she done to him? What did she put in his drink? Was it poisoned?

She watched him as he started freaking out, "oh don't worry, it won't kill you, I bet you can feel it starting to work" she whispered.

She was right, a weird feeling flared in his stomach. It was oddly pleasant, it was like a warm tingle, it spread to his chest and down his arms and legs. Slowly it began working its way up his body, crawling up his throat, "what's happening to me?" He cried out.

Then suddenly everything went black.


	23. Anne Finds Out Everything

**Warning this scene contains content that may be triggering to some people such as rape and sexual assault if you do no want to read this chapter I understand and will post a summary in the next one**

Phillip woke up on his bed with Margaux standing next to him watching him, "oh good, you're awake" she said, she held a knife which she turned over in her fingers as she watched him.

The first thing Phillip noticed was how weird he felt, time seemed to be moving a lot slower than usual, he felt sluggish and groggy. He sat up in an attempt at quickly but it felt like it took forever. He remembered she had drugged him, he must still be experiencing the effects of whatever it was.

He gulped as he watched the sharp knife in her hands, "wha- what's happening?" He asked, he sounded drunk, he slurred and his voice didn't sound right to him, it sounded warbled and far away.

She paced next to the bed, "I'm going to make sure Anne never talks to you again" she cackled. Phillip's brows furrowed, "how?" He asked, she pointed the knife at him, "you'll see" she laughed.

Phillip went to stand up but she rushed over to him, "and where do you think you're going?" She asked, she pushed him back down onto the bed, "how did I get back?" He asked shaking his head, he didn't like the effects of this drug.

She stroked the knife again as if warning him, "oh I told P.T you had too much to drink and passed out at the bar, he helped me carry you here totally unaware of the pill that I had slipped you" she giggled.

He stared at the door, "you're crazy, someone is bound to come in sooner or later" he said, she pushed him back against the bed and straddled his hips, "oh are they? How often did your supposed friends check on you before? Once a day if that?" She said.

She moved her hips against his, "hey stop that" he growled, "how long has it been since you've had a woman's touch Phillip?" She asked seductively.

He felt himself growing tight in his slacks, against his will. He hated his body, stop go soft he willed. It was no good.

"I don't want you" he spat, he pushed her off of him. She pointed the knife at him, "you will do whatever I say or else" she threatened him.

He gulped as he looked at the sharp knife pointed at his throat, he nodded silently. Her face changed from her dark, intimidating expression back to her fake happy smile.

"Good! Now take off your shirt, nice and slow" she told him, she didn't lower the knife.

Phillip shut his eyes, trying to imagine it was for Anne and began slowly unbuttoning the white shirt.

He felt her slip the materials off his shoulders, he heard her breath hitch as she stared at his toned chest. Despite the weight Phillip had lost he still had defined muscles in his arms and on his stomach and chest.

He opened her eyes and tried to hide his disgust when she trailed her hand from his shoulders to his V-line. Her eyes darted to his, filled with lust "kiss me" she commanded.

Phillip swallowed hard and forced himself to lean forward and press his lips to hers. She kissed him hungrily, he barely moved his lips until he felt her point the knife against the back of his neck.

He breathed deeply and began to kiss her with more passion, he hated this. He wasn't sure what he was to Anne anymore but it felt so wrong kissing another woman, _she was the only one he ever wanted to kiss again._

Margaux broke his kiss and started to kiss down his neck, Phillip's face changed to one of shock and disgust. She began to grind against Phillip's bulge again and against his will Phillip moaned slightly.

Margaux grinned at him, "guess you're enjoying this more than you thought you would" she said sultrily, Phillip shook his head, "please stop" he begged, she kissed his collarbones and began to suck on his skin.

Phillip's eyes fixated on the door, _please someone come check on me. P.T, Anne, Charles. Anybody please._

Margaux knelt above Phillip and unfastened his slacks and pulled them down along with his boxers, "I bet Anne wasn't this confident" she chided.

Phillip's chest ached, _Anne. The only woman he had ever or will ever loved. He remembered the night they first had sex he thought about how different it felt with Anne. He swore to himself he would never touch another girl as long as he lived._

Now here he was with Margaux knelt next to him touching him in ways he really wished she wouldn't. He looked at the delighted look on her face as she observed how big he was.

He looked away as she removed her dress and brasserie. He didn't want to look at her but she grabbed his chin and forced him to as she removed her underwear too. She had a nice body but _he didn't want her. He only wanted Anne._

He made a strangled sound of protest, "Margaux. Please. Don't do this" he pleaded, his body felt light like it was floating, time around him still seemed to be moving slow but he knew what she would do next.

She picked up the knife she had temporarily put down when she began to jack him off, "are you disobeying me?" She asked, Phillip gulped and his eyes shot to the door, he prayed to every god there was somebody would come in. "No" he said unconvincingly, his eyes still on the door.

She sliced at his stomach, leaving a small and shallow yet painful gash. Phillip cried out in pain, "shut up! I warned you" she shouted. Fear started running through his body, it suddenly just got very real.

He looked at the blood that started pouring from the wound, he tried to think but it felt like his head was full of cotton wool.

She kissed Phillip forcefully, shoving her tongue in his mouth, he resisted the urge to gag, he didn't want this. He didn't want her.

He watched in slow motion as she grabbed both of his wrists so he couldn't stop her and straddled him, pushing him deep inside of her. _He didn't want this._

She pulled back so she could enjoy the look on his face, "no! Please stop!" He begged. He felt panic start to rise in his throat, he couldn't breathe. Tears pricked at his eyes.

She moved against him, "stop! I don't want to do this!" He cried. The tears started to roll down his cheeks. She still held his wrists down, he struggled against her, "let me go! Stop!" He cried a little louder.

She held the knife to his throat, "shut up or I'll do it" she warned him, with his hand free he hit the knife away, it fell to the floor. She cursed and glared at him but held his other wrist down harder this time.

In retaliation she started to hump him harder, his breathing was heavy, it felt good. He wanted to moan. He hated himself, how could his body betray him like this, "Help!" He screamed.

Margaux laughed, "do you know what time it is? Nobody will be awake, nobody can hear you scream" she said.

Phillip felt himself panic more, was he having a panic attack? "Anne!" He screamed as loud as he could, her room was too far from his for her to hear him but he had to try.

Margaux's confident look faltered, she grabbed Phillip's pillow and began to rip the pillowcase off, "Anne! Help me!" Phillip screamed, his throat felt raw from screaming but he needed to be heard.

Margaux finally succeeded in removing the pillow case, she balled it up in her hands, "somebody help me! Please! Anne" he screamed, his tears flowing freely down his cheeks, !" he yelled out again before she stuffed the material in his mouth silencing him.

Anne lay wide awake in her room, she couldn't stand wondering what Phillip had told Josephine, she still didn't know.

Josephine had rushed back to the circus earlier when the show was over and told P.T that Phillip insisted on going to the bar to talk despite the fact he was already drunk.

She said that he had drunk a considerable amount whilst he told her everything and he had passed out, P.T left with her to retrieve Phillip.

When they got back they dragged him by his arms into his room, Anne had approached Phillip after she emerged to ask her what was said, she shook her head, "Anne, I know you really want to know as soon as possible but it's late" she said.

Anne felt frustrated and disappointed, she had to know what was said. But she didn't want to push Josephine so hard she wouldn't want to be her friend anymore so she nodded, "I understand, just tell me tomorrow" she said.

Josephine thanked her for understanding and promised that she would tell her first thing tomorrow morning.

Anne didn't realise how tired she felt, the suspense kept her awake but not knowing the tension wore off, she yawned. Josephine looked at her in what she read as concern, "are you tired? Maybe you should go to bed" she suggested.

Anne nodded, "goodnight" she told her friend.

She turned around and walked into W.D's room, he wasn't yet in there so she changed to sleep, she wore a shirt that _used to_ belong to Phillip and an old pair of bloomers.

She had been lying there, probably for an hour now, she felt exhausted but she couldn't bring herself to sleep. W.D snored away in the bed next to her but as Anne stared at the ceiling her mind raced, she imagined an infinite number of possibilities on how Phillip and Josephine's conversation may have gone.

She groaned in frustration at her lack of sleep and decided she would fetch herself some water. Maybe that would help.

She walked quietly out of W.D's room, she didn't want to wake him up, although knowing her brother he would still be fast asleep if a bomb hit, nothing could wake him up.

The only thing that awoke him was the sound of Anne's fits, if he heard her breathing become irregular in any way he would wake straight up and help her through it. He hated it whenever she got a blocked nose or a common cold.

Anne stared at the empty ring as she walked across the circus tent, she stood still to admire it. It looked so beautiful and mysterious at night, the way the stands' shadows were cast upon it in the darkness. The sight of the trapeze equipment hanging high above it in the dark. It was beautiful.

Anne started walking again, she began to search for the water tank in the dark but she stopped.

She thought she heard something from one of the rooms, she held her breath so she could hear better, "shut up or I'll do it" she heard a distant muffled voice say.

It sounded like it was coming from Phillip's room but the voice sounded female and threatening.

Anne listened harder waiting for any other sounds, when she couldn't hear any she shrugged and carried on when she definitely heard something coming from Phillip's room.

She walked towards his room when she heard something that made her blood run cold, "help" she thought she heard Phillip scream. She couldn't have heard that though, Phillip was passed out drunk.

She stood there questioning if she had really heard what she thought she did when she heard his voice again, "Anne!" He screamed. She had definitely heard it this time, his voice was filled with panic and fear.

He was in danger. Without giving it any other thought she broke into a run towards Phillip's room. Her legs immediately picked up speed when she heard him cry out for her again, as if on instinct. "Anne! Help me!" He screamed.

Worry filled her as she began to get closer, what was happening? He sounded like he was being tortured or something. "Somebody help me! Please! Anne" he screamed.

It sounded clearer now, she could hear his voice crack and how raw his throat sounded, he was in trouble. She couldn't stand to think what was happening to him.

She was now only a few feet away, "Anne- mmphhh!" she heard from inside. She was not prepared for what she was about to see.

She grabbed the door handle and threw her weight against the door almost breaking it with the force she opened it, it slammed against the wall and she stood there in shock at the sight before her.

Josephine was on top of Phillip holding his wrists against the bed as Phillip sobbed, he had a make-do gag shoved in his mouth. They were both naked and Josephine thrust against Phillip as he struggled from underneath her, in her hand was a knife and Phillip had a bleeding cut on his stomach.

Phillip also looked very off, he had a tortured look on his face but he also looked slightly dazed. He had dark red rims around his eyes, his pupils looked a lot larger than usual and the whites of his eyes had a pinkish tinge.

Oh god did Josephine drug Phillip? His reactions were slow and sluggish, she had seen him drunk and this wasn't it. There was something else wrong with him…

Josephine's head whipped around as she heard the door open and her jaw dropped, she left off him and turned to face her, "Anne! Thank god you're here! Phillip forced me to-" she began dropping the knife.

Anger surged through Anne, she had never felt so furious in her life. She ran forward and grabbed Josephine by the neck, slamming her against the wall so hard the plaster cracked "what the fuck are you doing?" She yelled at the top of her voice.

She shook with anger, Josephine choked under her grip, she didn't care. And this time she really didn't. Anne was usually such a calm, level headed person but when she saw what Josephine did to Phillip Anne forgot all about what had happened between her and Phillip over the past two weeks.

She loved him and her first instinct was to protect him at all costs, and so her anger overwhelmed her. She had never lost her temper like this before.

Josephine clawed at Anne's hand trying to get her to loosen her grip but years of trapeze meant she had a strong grip like iron.

"I- can't- breathe" she choked, she began to turn blue and her eyes started to roll back into her head.

Phillip stood up as quickly as he could manage to under the influence of whatever drug he'd been given and pulled Anne away from Josephine/ Margaux before she killed her.

Anne released Josephine/ Margaux immediately and turned to face Phillip, surveying him with worry. "Phillip? Are you okay? What happened?" she asked forgetting all about Josephine/ Margaux.

Josephine/ Margaux dropped to the floor, clutching her throat as she sucked in lungful's of oxygen hungrily. Her head swam from the rush of almost passing out.

Phillip looked at Anne he felt shocked and upset and shaken up and relieved all at once, "you called me Phillip" he said numbly.

Anne wrapped her arms around him and held him close to her, he sobbed against her shoulder and hugged her tightly, he would never let her go again.

Anne stroked his hair as he bawled, wetting her shoulder, but she didn't care about that. She glared at Josephine/ Margaux, she just looked up at Anne in fear.

She suspected she had somehow drugged Phillip at the bar and that meant…

 _Oh god Phillip wasn't passed out from drinking when Josephine/ Margaux and P.T had dragged him home from the bar._

Josephine/ Margaux had drugged Phillip and raped him at knife point.

Anne didn't care if Phillip had or hadn't cheated on her in that moment, she just wanted to comfort him, she almost cried at the thought of what Josephine/ Margaux had done to him.

When Phillip had screamed for her he sounded so desperate and scared, _what would have happened if she did sleep or didn't get up for water?_ Anne shuddered at the thought.

She pressed her lips to Phillip's head, "shhh it's alright, you're safe now" she hushed him.

His crying slowed down and his grip around her loosened ever so slightly, he took in deeper breaths, he began calming at her touch.

Anne saw Josephine/ Margaux attempt to scramble her to feet. She released Phillip and broke away from him, pushing him away gently.

She stood and blocked Josephine/ Margaux's path, "where do you think you're going?" She growled, Josephine/ Margaux stood and pressed her back against the wall she held up her hands, "Anne, listen. It's not what it looks like" she said in a calm voice but her voice shook giving her away.

Anne looked at Phillip, he looked so vulnerable and broken as he looked at the floor. She turned to glare at Josephine/ Margaux again, "really because it looks like you've drugged and raped my boyfriend" she retorted angrily.

Phillip perked up at "boyfriend" he watched feeling deeply conflicted and troubled.

Josephine/ Margaux's eyes widened, she knew she was caught, she gulped but said nothing, "I thought you were my friend" Anne laughed coldly.

Josephine/ Margaux reached out her hand, "I am your friend" she lied, Anne slapped her hand away, "don't you dare, I've spent my whole life being made a fool of, I will not stand for it any longer" she spat.

Josephine/ Margaux licked her lips nervously, "can't you see he planned all of this to make me look like the bad guy" she replied weakly. Her confident façade was long gone, Anne could see through her lies like you can see through clear glass.

She balled her fists, "you're really going to try and blame him after what you did?" She screamed, Josephine/ Margaux flinched, "you don't understand he-" she stammered but Anne wasn't done yet.

Anne paced as she felt anger coursing through her veins, "oh I _do_ understand, how I could've been so blind is beyond me. Why the hell did you put him through this?" She seethed.

Josephine/ Margaux glanced at the door considering if she could make a run for it but having seen first hand how strong, agile and quick Anne could be she decided it wasn't worth the risk.

"I wanted to take him from you" she replied, Anne felt her anger boiling over again, "so you decided the best way to do that was to rape him against his will?" She asked, it took everything in her not to strike the bitch.

Josephine/ Margaux wrung her hands, "I'm not in this alone. I'm not even the main part in this all, I just follow his orders" she admitted, Anne froze but continued to regard her with anger and hatred, "who's orders?" She asked apprehensively.

Josephine/ Margaux glanced quickly at the door again then Anne, "Phillip's father. He paid me to pose as Josephine Willoughby and infiltrate the circus, from there he told me to turn everyone against Phillip from the inside. He wanted Phillip to turn to me once I had broken him so he could be with a _real_ woman. My real name is Margaux. I didn't plan any of this, I just did as Mr Carlyle had told me to" she explained.

Phillip held his breath; his father was behind this? He had spent so long worrying about what his father would do whilst it was happening right before his eyes. His father had sent this girl to ruin his life, he couldn't believe it. In fact _yes he could._

He collapsed against the bed and held his head in his hands, he couldn't process what he was hearing, it was all too much for him.

Anne turned to Phillip and her angry gaze softened instantly, "oh Phillip, I'm so sorry, are you okay?" She said, he shook his head and began to cry again.

Margaux took this opportunity to run, she bolted to the door as fast as she could but Anne ignored her, she needed to focus on Phillip.

She sat him down on the bed, he flinched slightly but then when he realised it was Anne and not Margaux he relaxed again. He leant his shoulder against hers and cried, "I didn't cheat on you" he managed through sobs.

Anne wrapped his arm around him and nodded, "I believe you" she said soothingly.

She really did, the girl who had convinced her Phillip had had an affair was the same girl she just found having sex with Phillip against his will. Phillip had tried to tell her all along he was innocent but she wouldn't listen to him.

She felt incredibly guilty, why didn't she listen? She had put Phillip through hell because she got scared and she believed some girl she had just met over Phillip who had been nothing but good to her.

Phillip wrapped his arms around her and held her as if his life depended on it, "I'm- so sorry- I-I hurt you" he gasped between sobs.

Anne shifted so her back was against his pillows and he pulled her onto her lap, "hey, hey, hey. Don't worry about that now, none of that matters. _I'm_ the one who needs to apologise" she stroked his hair.

She noticed how thin he felt, she could feel his bones underneath his paper-thin skin. How long had it been since he'd eaten?

She held him as he cried, he sobbed until he had nothing else in him, he had no more tears to cry. He breathed slow and heavy as he tried to calm himself down, "I'm so sorry" his voice croaked.

She lifted his chin so he looked at her, "don't. I should have listened" she said, she felt the guilt wash over her again.

He shook his head and pulled himself up next to her, "I didn't want her to Margaux- she kept flirting with me and making advances and I didn't like it. I felt too guilty to tell you, I didn't want you to get upset" he said.

The effects of the drug seemed to be starting to wear off but he still slurred and spoke slower than usual.

Anne pulled him to her chest again, "I'm so sorry I doubted you" she apologised, words couldn't explain how sorry she really felt.

If she thought she was struggling over the last two weeks she couldn't even begin to imagine how Phillip felt, he thought he had lost her for good, she was convinced he was lying and had betrayed her when in reality he had been trying to avoid exactly that and protect Anne.

Phillip took a shaky breath and looked up at her, "this isn't over. Once my father hears how his plan failed he'll come after me again" he gulped in fear, Anne shook her head, "listen to me I won't let him, I'll tell the others what happened and we will protect you, we won't let this happen again" She said

He hugged her again tightly, "I'm so glad I have you back" he murmured. He still looked shocked and dazed, he might've still been drunk too.

Anne lifted his chin and kissed him, he flinched and pulled back his eyes wide with fear, "I'm sorry! I didn't think!" She cried, he shivered and buried his face in her chest, "it's okay, I'm sorry I freaked out. I just can't get her out of my head" he breathed heavily, trying not to cry again.

Anne pulled him onto her lap again and stroked his face in an attempt to comfort him once again, "try and get some rest baby, you need to sleep off whatever's in your system" she told him.

He looked up at her in fright and shook his head, "n-no. No sleep, no, no" he rambled fearfully, his breath quickened again. He felt like he was going to have another panic attack. He couldn't bring himself to sleep, he knew as soon as he closed his eyes horrific nightmares would await him.

She rubbed her thumb against his temple softly "okay okay. You don't have to sleep, just rest, I'll be right here. I'm not going anywhere" she ensured him.

He lowered his head again, and nodded, "no sleep" he repeated, "no sleep" she agreed. He allowed himself to settle down, he felt comforted by her presence.

His breathing slowed down and she realised he had fallen asleep, but she couldn't sleep. She lay there with Phillip asleep in her lap, looking down at him in worry.

She felt dreadful thinking about what Phillip had went through, she knew better than anyone how much rape could destroy a person inside. Would he ever be able to move past it?

It was all _her_ fault he had to go through that, if she had only realised earlier what Margaux was doing to him she could have done something. She could have prevented it.

She just wanted him to be alright but unfortunately Phillip wouldn't be for a long long time.


	24. Lettie's Got a Secret

**Hey as promised this is the summary for if anyone didn't read the chapter before. Margaux drugged and raped Phillip who screamed out for Anne, she was up getting water so heard him. She practically broke down the door and nearly killed Margaux in rage, Margaux told her the truth and Anne and Phillip fixed things, Margaux however ran away.**

Lettie woke up when she heard loud rustling near her bed, her eyes flew open and she was met with the sight of Josephine stuffing all her things in a bag.

Lettie sat up slightly dazed due to the fact she was half awake, "where are you going? What time is it?" She asked. Josephine looked up startled, she didn't realise she had woken Lettie.

"You didn't see me" she said quickly, she straighten and turned to head for the door but Lettie got out of bed and caught her wrist, "hang on, what's going?" She asked.

Josephine's nervous expression immediately changed to an angry one, she tried to yank her wrist free but Lettie would not let go, "get off me! I need to go. Now." She hissed as she struggled.

Lettie held tighter, "you're not going _anywhere_ until you explain to me what's happened, are you in danger?" She asked, she wondered what had happened to make Josephine so angry, she was acting so different.

Josephine's eyes darted to the open door, "let me go Lettie or else" she retorted aggressively, Lettie laughed "or else what? Now just calm down before you do something you'll regret" she said using her free hand to gesture a calming motion.

She knew Josephine couldn't actually do anything, if she tried to fight her? She was very petite and delicate, Lettie could snap her like a twig, "I know your secret" Josephine shot back.

Lettie hesitated, her confidence wavering but only for a millisecond, "my secret? Please, I'm an open book" she bluffed, "oh really? Angela Murton" she said, she smirked knowing she had Lettie caught.

Lettie froze and stared at her in disbelief, how could she have possibly found out? Nobody knew she'd never told a living soul, if that got out. If that got out it could be bad, _real bad._

Josephine pulled her wrist free from Lettie's grip, this time Lettie dropped her hand and let her back away from her, "you tell anyone you saw me here tonight and I will tell everyone your secret" she said and with that she turned and fled from the room.

Lettie did not realise it then but that would be the last time any of them saw her again.


	25. The Truth About Margaux Is Out

Phillip woke up his body wrapped around Anne's, her hand rested on his lower back and in his hair protectively as she slept.

He couldn't remember any of what had happened the night before or how and Anne got here but he was afraid to move in case he woke her and she left again, the last two weeks had been torture for him, he _didn't_ want to go back to that.

Phillip lay as he still as he could whilst he relished in Anne's gentle touch again, he hoped this wasn't another dream.

He'd been having a lot of those lately, he would dream of Anne coming back to him or waking up next to her in bed but whenever he touched her she would disappear and he would wake up alone again.

He wanted to reach out and touch her to check if she was real but he was scared to find out the answer.

He decided he would enjoy cuddling up to her for a few minutes then he would test it.

He watched her angelic face as she slept, she looked so happy and peaceful as if she didn't spend every waking moment battling her broken heart.

She breathed lightly before she held Phillip closer to her, Phillip decided this was the perfect moment to touch her.

He rolled next to her and reached out hesitantly, he looked away scared as he pressed his index finger to one of the dimples in her cheek, her skin was warm and soft.

She opened her eyes but she didn't disappear, she regarded Phillip in a mildly startled fashion, "what're you doing?" She asked, Phillip who had been facing away turned his head to look back at her.

His finger was still sunk into her the dip of her dimple in her soft cheek, he looked at her in surprise, "you're still here" he said in awe, she gave him an odd look, "yes… Why wouldn't I be?" She asked slowly.

He experimentally pressed his finger against her cheek again, it was round and firm, his eyes widened in amazement, "you're real" he gasped, Anne laughed nervously, "Phillip are you okay?" She asked.

He realised how strange he was acting, "sorry, yes. I kept having dreams that you would be here when you weren't, I had to test that you weren't some illusion" he explained.

She smiled, her cheeks flushed pink, "that's adorable, come here baby" she kissed his forehead and stroked his face lovingly, "I am definitely real and I'm not going anywhere, how's your head? I bet you're feeling worse for wear" she laughed.

Phillip hadn't yet noticed the dull pounding behind his eyes, he'd woken up hangover every day that week, his body had started to get used to the pain.

He groaned and shut his eyes, "everything feels too loud" he winced, Anne kissed his head lightly as if that would fix everything. His pain didn't subside but he did feel slightly better anyway.

Anne ran her hand through his short messy hair, "do you want to talk about last night?" She asked delicately, his mind raced, last night? What had happened last night?

She must've sensed his hesitation, "do you not remember?" She asked, he shook his head, "there's a gap in my memory, I was talking to Josephine at the bar and then-" he faltered.

It all came rushing back to him, he grabbed his forehead as he remembered it all, "oh god" he muttered breathlessly.

She caressed his face with her thumbing calming him slightly but he felt panic rising in his chest again, "she- she just- I- I didn't want it, I didn't want her to" Phillip stammered, Anne hushed him, "I know baby, I know, I'm sorry, she can't hurt you now" she told him.

He couldn't get her face out of his head when she forced him inside of her, he couldn't forget the pain he felt through the entire experience, he didn't want it any of it, he only wanted Anne.

He wished he could just disappear under the duvet and never emerge again, "my dad- he's gonna know- he'll" Phillip began to panic, "hey hey, stop no, everything's going to be alright, we'll tell the others what happened today and we'll keep an eye out for anything weird now, I won't let anyone hurt you again" she vowed.

Phillip wriggled back into Anne's arms, he felt safe there. He lay between her legs and rest his head on her shoulder, "I don't want to get out of bed today" he croaked.

She moved her hair out of the way so he was more comfortable and ran her hands down his back, her nails against his bare skin felt oddly relaxing, "that's okay baby, you don't have to" she reassured him.

He sighed and closed his eyes, he wished he could erase his mind and thoughts, they all tugged at the memory of last night, he didn't want to think about that now.

He just wanted to spend the day in Anne's arms and forget all about them ever having to spend time apart or how he broke his vow to himself to never touch another girl again.

That was the worst part of it all, he went through so much pain and that was hard enough but he had broken the oath he made to himself, he never wanted anyone else but Anne and then he was just violated like that, he had no control over any of it and his body betrayed him. His heart and soul belonged to Anne but his body reacted to Margaux and he felt conflicted and angry at himself despite the fact it was out of his control, his body had just reacted in a natural way but he wanted no part of him to feel anything for her any girl other than Anne.

Phillip nestled his head comfortably and kissed her neck, "can you stay here with me?" He asked, she didn't want to say no but she couldn't miss another show, "I will until tonight" she compromised.

Phillip moaned, "fine but can you sleep here again tonight? I've hated having an empty bed when you were gone" he complained, Anne nodded, "W.D snores like a steam train and I've missed your cuddliness" she admitted with a smile.

Phillip puffed out his nose slightly in humour, "I thought you didn't like how clingy and cuddly I am" he laughed, she shook her head, "nah I complain about it but I love it really, I'd hate it if you stopped" she confessed.

Phillip grinned, he felt extremely pleased with him, "good because I'm not planning on stopping any time soon".

They lay in comfortable silence for a moment, then Anne tensed and wrapped her arm tighter around Phillip protectively as she dwelled on the look on Phillip's face when she opened the door.

Last night had been a hard, restless night for her, her thoughts haunted her, she should have done more. She should've realised sooner what had been going on, a million scenarios raced through her head on how she could have prevented what happened.

Phillip frowned at her, "what?" He asked, she held him tight, "I should've done more" she said guiltily.

Phillip remembered how frightening Anne looked when she strangled Margaux, he had never seen her as angry as she was in that moment, she had a really scary look on her face as she lunged at Margaux.

Her jaw was clenched, her nostrils flared, her whole body tense, her eyes burned with hatred, if looks could kill then Margaux would have turned to a pile of ash.

Anne's eyes had always been very emotive, Phillip could always tell how she felt by looking at her eyes. In that moment Anne looked so furious, so outraged, the look she gave Margaux terrified Phillip. He just hoped she never looked at him that way, he was pretty sure if she did his knees would turn to jelly right there and then.

"You were so angry, I'd never seen you like that" he recalled, she looked at him, "I don't know what came over me, I just felt this overwhelming urge to hurt her, I needed to protect you, I couldn't stand it if anything bad happened to you. _I can't live without you_ " she said emotionally.

Her eyes searched his, he could see the passion behind them, _he only had to take one look at her eyes to know how much she loved him._

Phillip took her hand in his, "you'll never have to, I will _never_ stop loving you. Still, it unnerved me a little how angry you were, the look you gave her was terrifying. You can be really scary when you want to be you know" he shook his head.

Anne leaned her head against the wall, "W.D always says that, personally I don't see it" she shrugged.

Phillip remember the cut on his stomach when he pressed his body against hers and felt a stabbing pain, he cried out slightly in pain. Anne sat up quickly, "what is it? Are you alright?" She asked urgently, Phillip turned on his back and motioned to the painful gash.

Anne raced out of bed to his desk where he kept safety supplies, "how could I forget about that, is it deep?" She asked rummaging through his drawers.

Phillip examined it, grimacing as his fingers made contact, "no, it just really hurts" he moaned, Anne came back with some antiseptic and bandages.

She knelt next to him and poured some antiseptic onto a cloth, "this will hurt, hold still" she warned him, she barely gave him a second to process what she had said before she held the cloth against the long wound.

He yelped loudly in pain and tried to squirm away, "hold still" she repeated holding him down with her free hand, "it hurts so much" he hissed, "I warned you, if you don't let me clean it it'll get worse" she argued.

He growled slightly but lay still to let her dress his injury, she wrapped the bandage around his torso and sat back to admire her work, "see was that so bad?" She asked, Phillip scowled at her "yes" he replied moodily.

She hopped off the bed to return the supplies, "I'll be right back, I need to tell W.D where I am and to bring the others here" she informed him before she disappeared out of the door.

Phillip must've drifted back off to sleep because when he opened his eyes again Anne was set on the end of the bed talking lowly to W.D, Lettie, Charles and Constantine who were gathered around her.

"-Josephine isn't even her real name, she's actually called Margaux and this was all planned by Phillip's dad in order to get rid of me" she finished.

Charles cleared his throat when he noticed Phillip was now awake, "I'm really sorry about what happened man" he told him, Anne turned and realised Phillip had woken up.

He sat up and looked at them all, he felt embarrassed and ashamed, "I told you I didn't do it" he mumbled, "we're really sorry Phillip, she just had this way of convincing you whatever she told you" Constantine added.

They all agreed in response, "the important thing is you stayed loyal to Anne, even after what Margaux did to you" W.D said, Phillip shut his eyes, Margaux's face flashed in his mind again, "can we just move on and forget it ever happened, I don't want to think about that anymore" Phillip requested.

Anne gave him an understanding look, "let's just keep a sharp eye out in the future, now we know how cunning Phillip's father is we can't let this happen again" she said.

Phillip noticed Lettie had not yet said anything or even looked at any of them, she just stared at the floor blankly, "Lettie?" Phillip prompted, she didn't react, "Lettie?" Phillip repeated louder.

She jumped, "huh?" She said distractedly, "are you alright?" He asked, she blinked a few times then smiled breezily, "yeah, sorry, yeah I'm just a bit spacey that's all" she brushed it off.

Anne touched her knee, "are you sure? Do you want to talk about it later?" She asked, Lettie shook her head, "guys I'm fine, there's nothing to talk about" she insisted but no one was convinced.

"You were her roommate, was she in your room this morning? Did you see her at all?" Anne asked, fear flashed across Lettie's eyes briefly but was gone as quick as it came, "n-no. I didn't see anything" she stuttered.

Constantine frowned, "you don't sound very sure, are you saying you definitely didn't see her?" He pressed, she shook her head "I didn't see anything" she repeated, she seemed distressed, "Lettie, what's wrong?" W.D asked.

Lettie leapt to her feet, "why're you asking me so many questions? Stop staring at me like that! I'm not a freak!" She cried, she ran out of the room leaving everyone to stare after, "what's gotten into her?" Charles asked.

Anne and Phillip shared a look, "I'll go talk to her" Anne went after her, Constantine cleared his throat "we don't get all this emotional drama back in Russia" he chuckled in attempt to lighten the mood.

"I forgot Mr big and strong doesn't have feelings" W.D laughed, Constantine held his hand to his chest in mock offence, "I have feelings, I just don't get all emotional like you Americans" he defended.

W.D smiled then looked at Phillip, he hit his fist against his hand a few times, "listen Carlyle, I'm sorry for how I acted. I just didn't want you hurting my sister, I was wrong and I'm sorry" he apologised, Phillip was shocked, it was extremely rare that W.D Wheeler ever apologised.

He waved his hand, "don't even worry about it, I'm pretty sure any of us would have done the same thing right guys?" He said.

"definitely, I would kill a guy if I thought he'd done that to my sister" Charles agreed, "I might've been a little more forceful but I would too" Constantine mused.

W.D looked up at the ceiling feeling admittedly slightly awkward, this was all new territory for him, "maybe I'll have to start trusting you more now" he laughed.

Phillip felt more content knowing he had gained his friends back, but he couldn't help wander what had upset Lettie…


	26. Angela Murton

Anne looked around the circus for Lettie as she went after her, to anyone else it may have looked Lettie had disappeared but Anne knew her friend too well, and Anne was very observant.

She listened closely and looked about the tent, she tiptoed over to the dressing rooms, behind the racks of costumes she heard quiet sobbing.

She pulled the clothes apart to reveal Lettie sitting with her back to the wall her knees pulled up to her chest, she tugged at her beard anxiously as she tried to hold back the tears.

She turned her head when she saw Anne, "go" she said trying to hide her tears, Anne crouched down in front of her, "what's wrong Lettie?" She asked.

Lettie wiped her face hastily, "nothing, I'm fine, don't worry about me, you should be worrying about that boyfriend of yours, it's terrible what happened to him" she said hoping to distract Anne.

Anne nodded, "yes it is, but something terrible has obviously happened to you too" she said.

Lettie looked up in fright, did she know? Had Margaux already somehow told her about Angela Murton?

"Anne, I know you mean well but please just leave the matter alone" Lettie begged, Anne shook her head, "I'm sorry Lettie, but something's obviously upsetting you and I need to know what it is" she reasoned.

Lettie turned away from her, "I've done bad things Anne" she said her tone taking on a darker toll, Anne frowned, "what sort of bad things?" She asked.

Lettie held back a sob, "if anyone found out what I had done I'd be executed" she told Anne, Anne looked at her friend in shock. Lettie was such a kind and caring person what could she have possibly done that would lead to her being put to death for it?

Anne turned Lettie to face her again, "whatever it is you can tell me, I can help you" she pleaded, Lettie looked at Anne fearfully, "no one can help me Anne. It was a long time ago, I did something terrible and it still haunts me to this day" she whispered.

Lettie slowly got to her feet, "I must go, someone here already knows what I have done, she cannot be trusted so I must flee" Lettie said but Anne blocked her path, "who knows? Margaux?" She asked.

Lettie nodded and pushed Anne to the side gently, "Anne, my life could be in danger, please just let me go, the more people that know the more that could have me incarcerated" she rambled.

Anne caught Lettie's risk, "first of all you just need to calm down, you're working yourself up into a mess" she said wiping her friend's tears away, "and second of all you're not going anywhere, whatever Margaux knows I'm almost certain she won't use against you, she wanted to ruin me not you" she reasoned.

Lettie took a deep breath and allowed Anne to guide her to one of the chairs and sit her down, "now tell me what you've done so I can help you" Anne asked again.

Lettie shut her eyes, she wanted to tell Anne but the words caught in her throat, she couldn't believe after all these years she would finally tell someone.

Anne waited patiently as Lettie readied herself, "when I was 19 I was working in a different launderer to the one P.T found me in. This one belonged to my father, my father was already disappointed in me, he told me how ugly and disgusting I was, a woman with a beard would never find happiness. Well one day when I was working he brought in a new girl, Angela Murton" Lettie began.

She looked at the floor unable to meet Anne's eye, "we worked together and soon became very close, we were best friends but I felt different than I had ever felt before. Being around Angela I felt happy and nervous and confused all at once, the more I was around her the stronger I felt and well I…" Lettie paused, unsure whether she could truly finish her sentence.

Anne held Lettie's hand, "it's okay, you don't have to continue if you are unable to" she said.

Lettie shook her head, she'd kept this secret to herself for too many years, it ate away at her, she needed to finally tell someone. "The more I was around her the stronger I felt and I realised, I had fallen in love with a _woman_ " Lettie finished.

Anne's jaw dropped open, she didn't know what to say, " _I'm queer Anne_ " Lettie whispered. Lettie still wouldn't meet Anne's eye, shame was written all over her face.

Once the shock wore off Anne stroked her friend's hand in comfort to show her support, "well that's okay, you cannot help loving whoever you love, it's nothing to be ashamed of" she replied.

Lettie finally looked up, she looked so afraid, "you don't understand Anne, being queer is illegal, if anyone found out I would be sentenced to death. It _is_ something to be ashamed of. It's bad enough I'm some bearded freak, I am also a woman who loves other women" she cried.

Anne bit her tongue, she didn't know how to comfort her friend because she was right, loving someone of your gender was illegal. Anne had never met someone like Lettie, you hear of them being arrested and killed but she imagined them to look and be so much different to this.

Lettie was her friend, she didn't care who she loved she just wanted her to be safe and happy. Anne bit her lip, "well you can't be the only woman who does, we can find you someone who feels the same way you do, we can keep it a secret so you never get caught" she insisted.

Lettie stood up quickly, "Anne no. I can never find love, it's too risky, it's not like you and Phillip. Sure, you two are highly frowned upon but neither of you can be sentenced to death for it, if anyone saw me with a woman I would be arrested immediately and it would be the end of the line for me. You and Phillip can change the world, make the world more accepting of whites and blacks together but the world will never allow women to be with women or men to be with men" she said hoarsely.

"Lettie, I was 10 when slaves were outlawed here in America, my master did not free me or W.D, we escaped. Despite the fact it was illegal to own a slave many people still did, we both lived in fear for years our master would come after us or someone would send us back to him. I lived through the time when blacks and whites being together was illegal, it will take many years but society will seem someday it doesn't matter who you love. It might be illegal for you to love a woman now, but it won't always be. If you don't try then the world will never change, in order to change people's minds you have to fight the rules, you cannot just submit to what other people's opinions are and spend your life miserable and alone. We will all support you Lettie, we won't let them kill you for who you are" Anne encouraged.

Lettie sat down again, she studied her hands, "I- I'm not sure Anne, this is just all so scary. I'm not supposed to love woman, God made man for women to love, it's unnatural".

Anne gave her a confident smile, "it's not unnatural Lettie, it's _different_. And here at the circus we praise different, we're all unique and special here Lettie, your sexuality just makes you that extra bit different. It's okay to be different Lets, we love you no matter who you are" Anne promised.

Lettie felt relieved to hear Anne being so supportive, maybe it would be alright for her in the end. She didn't care what Margaux did, if she revealed it or not because now Lettie had her friend's backing her. As an individual Lettie was shy and afraid, but with her friends she was inspired and brave.

She wasn't afraid to be seen anymore, she was who she was meant to be, _this was her._


	27. The Story Of Lettie Lutz & Angela Murton

Lettie was 19 years old, she was having just another Wednesday morning at her father's laundry business when she saw him walk in with a new girl.

Lettie continued folding clothes but tried to peer subtly over the sheets hanging in front of her, she could see the top of her blonde head but that was about it.

"This is Maude, Elisa and Grace" Her father introduced the new girl to the other ladies working that morning, "what about her?" The girl asked.

Her voice was warm and sweet, Lettie looked up to see her father shooting her a disappointed look, "that is my daughter Lettie" he spat as if it left a bitter taste in his mouth, "do not worry about her" he said but the new girl walked over to where Lettie sat.

She pulled the sheet aside to get a better look. She was tall and graceful, with an hourglass figure and angelic features. She had fair skin and long flowing golden hair that stopped short at her shoulder, she had beautiful green eyes and pink pouted lips.

Her eyes widened slightly in surprise to meet a woman who had a full yet well-trimmed beard, Lettie looked away in shame, she felt embarrassed. It was no secret her father was ashamed of her, she was constantly ridiculed and mocked at the launders by the other girls and so Lettie hid in the back behind the sheets where she couldn't be seen.

The girl however once over the surprise of Lettie's unusual appearance smiled kindly and offered her hand, "I am Angela Murton, pleasure to meet you" she said politely.

Lettie turned slowly to look at her, it was her turn to look surprised, "L- Lettie Lutz miss" she stammered, Angela laughed "I work here too now, please Angela will do just fine" she corrected.

Lettie's father still stood behind Angela turned his head and tutted in impatience, "Angela will be working at your station, I assume you are capable of showing how it's done" he said dismissively.

Lettie nodded, "yes father" she replied obediently, her father merely sighed and strode away.

Lettie had spent a week teaching Angela how to properly fold the clothes so they would not crease, the most effective way to hang the sheets and where everything was.

She found Angela captivated her, she was not like anyone else she had ever met before, she treated her like an equal despite her deformity. She was by the far the most beautiful person she had ever seen.

Lettie and Angela had sat side by side chatting on a pleasant Thursday afternoon when there was a crash, Lettie stood quickly to see one of the tables legs had snapped across the room.

Grace looked at the collapsed table in exasperation, "oh no! The table's broken, it will be ages before Mr Lutz will replace it" she cried, Elisa looked over and tutted, "what we need is a big strong man to fix it" she then looked at Lettie with a smirk, "we'll get Lettie to do it, it's close enough to a man anyway" she jeered.

Lettie sat down quickly and buried herself in the task of folding clothes again, her cheeks flared red, she wished she could disappear. "Look the he-she has nothing to say, maybe it's accepted what a freak it is" Maude joined in.

Lettie frowned at the shirts she folded as she felt tears pooling in her eyes, next to Angela stood up and ripped the sheet off the line in front of her and Lettie, "she is not a freak, you leave her alone" she defended.

Lettie looked up at her in shock, no one had ever defended her before. The rest of the girls were equally shocked, they looked at each their eyebrows raised, "wow the beast has a friend" Grace cried, the girls burst into fits of giggles.

Angela looked at them all fiercely, "she is just like you or I, just because she has a beard doesn't make her any more inferior than anyone in this room" she retorted, the girls giggled again but said nothing more they returned to whispering amongst each other again.

Angela took her seat next to Lettie again, "thank you" Lettie stammered still feeling shocked, Angela touched her hand, "of course, you're my friend and I will not have you treated any other way than what you are, a wonderful human being who is equal to us all" she smiled.

 _Why did Lettie's stomach flip at the use of the word friend?_

Lettie and Angela had just finished their days work at the launders, "Lettie?" Angela asked as the two women stood, she hummed in response as she hung the last sheet for the night, "would you like to join me at my apartment for dinner this evening?" She asked.

Lettie suddenly couldn't breathe, she would be alone with Angela, for some reason that made her heart race and her stomach flutter. She turned to face her with a nervous smile, "y-yes, I would love to" she breathed.

Angela returned her smile, "excellent, come on let's go" she said, she grabbed Lettie's hand and lead her out the door to the launders and they walked downstairs to the street.

Lettie's heart quickened still when Angela grabbed her hand, she held her breath afraid to do anything in case it would end the contact between them. _What the hell was happening to her? Why was she such a nervous wreck lately?_ She was suddenly very conscious of how clammy her hands were.

Angela released her hand once they'd reached the street, Lettie felt disappointed but masked her emotion, they walked a short journey then stopped outside a blue wooden door.

Angela chuckled softly, "this is it" she said, it was only small, a room squeezed in between two large shops either side but it was cosy and well kept.

She had a bed and a chest in one corner, a small table and two chairs in the centre, a wood burner stove and a table on one side of the room and a lavatory hidden by a wooden screen.

Lettie looked at it in amazement, "I'm sorry it's not much" Angela looked down, Lettie shook her head, "I like it, do you live alone?" She asked, Angela nodded, "yes it is just me here" she confirmed, "your parents?" Lettie asked carefully.

Angela turned away, "my mother died giving birth to me and my father always resented me for it, so I ran away" she explained. Lettie's heart sank, she wished she could do something, her heart said hug her but she cradled her hands in front of her, "I'm sorry" she said honestly.

Angela just smiled and tucked the hair behind her ear, "it's alright, I like my small home here, although it does get awfully lonely" she sighed. _I'll live with you_ Lettie's head cried but she decided it better she just said nothing.

Angela walked over to her chest and opened it pulling out a pale green dress, "I shall just get out of these work drabs then I can begin to prepare dinner" she said lightly.

Lettie's heart stopped, "I-I'll give you some privacy" she said turning away, Angela just laughed, "nonsense, we're both women here, if you were a man it might be different" she replied light heartedly. Lettie laughed nervously, "of course" she said.

She watched as Angela untied the fabric of her grey work dress, she slipped the dress down her shoulders leaving her bare in her undergarments.

Lettie prayed she didn't turn red as she felt her face heating up, she felt as if there was a hand squeezing the air from her lungs, she was confused as to why she felt so flustered by the sight of Angela undressing but she cast her eyes to the floor in embarrassment.

She thought Angela looked beautiful when she replaced her tattered work uniform with a simple long green dress. It matched the colour of her eyes perfectly, despite the simplicity of the fabric Lettie was convinced she'd never looked better.

Lettie had found herself thinking of Angela at nights as she drifted to sleep. She remembered her breezy laugh, her pristine smile. She suited the name Angela as Lettie had always thought she resembled an angel from heaven, she was remarkably attractive and seemed to show up when Lettie found life started getting more difficult to manage. Maybe she was _her_ angel.

She didn't know why Angela intrigued her so deeply, it had crossed her mind maybe she had feelings more than platonic for the girl but that couldn't be the case. Being queer was a crime punishable by death, Lettie couldn't be queer.

On this particular night however Lettie lay in her bed staring at the ceiling in the dark as she waited for sleep to over take her, her head was filled with Angela as usual as of late.

She remembered how Angela had made her laugh today, the other women in the launders gave them dirty looks as always but for once Lettie didn't care. She was filled with confidence when she was around Angela but at the same time she felt nervous and flustered a lot of the time.

It was a humorously oxymoronic situation. Lettie remembered how Angela made her _feel._

She imagined having dinner alone with Angela again, this had become a weekly occurrence, she always looked forward to it. She imagined Angela in the candle light they ate by, she laughed and made jokes as she always did.

But this fantasy was different, Angela stood to clear the plates but Lettie stood too, she grabbed the plates, "allow me" she said, Angela laughed, "no Lettie, you're my guest, it is my duty to-" she began grabbing the plates but Lettie cut her off moving closer, "really, it would be my pleasure" she whispered tugging the plates from her grip.

Lettie placed them in the warm soapy tub awaiting the plates, she wiped her hands on her dress and turned to face Angela again.

Angela was much closer than she had been a moment before, Lettie stood practically nose to nose with her, "uh hi" she laughed, Angela laughed too breathily and low.

Angela looked down at Lettie's lips and back at Lettie's eyes, Lettie's heart quickened, she bit her lip. Angela reached out and took Lettie's hands, placing them on her hips, "what are y-" Lettie began nervously.

Angela held a dainty hand to her mouth, pressing one finger against Lettie's lips, "shhh… Don't speak" Angela whispered, Lettie gulped and nodded.

Angela moved her hands to both sides of Lettie's cheeks, she took Lettie's face in hers gently before she leaned in and closed the gap between them.

Her lips were on Lettie's, she kissed her slowly but the heat and tension built until…

Lettie sat up straight in bed panting, _what was that? Why had she imagined herself kissing her friend? Was she her friend?_ Lettie realised with dread setting in her gut she had been falling in love with Angela, _how had she not noticed?_

Maybe she'd been attempting to repress her feelings but either way she couldn't disguise how she felt any longer, she did not see Angela as just a friend, _she questioned if she ever did at all._

Lettie was queer, she was one of those women she had heard about who fell for other women and tried to lead lives in secret, delinquent lives with women rather than men. All the women she had heard about however were found out, once they were found out they were arrested and killed…

Lettie gasped aloud, nobody could ever know how she felt.

Lettie felt more awkward than ever as she worked with Angela in the next few days, she tried to avoid looking at her at all costs, she felt the familiar flutter in her stomach whenever she did. She had to shut this down, nip at the bud, she simply wouldn't allow herself to feel this way.

But she worried it was no good. She could not seem to shut off her strong emotions for the girl. Angela had began to notice how odd Lettie was acting, she turned to her. "Lettie, might I ask you something?" She asked. Nerves set in Lettie's stomach, she nodded silently, "are you alright? You haven't been yourself" Angela questioned.

Lettie's eyes widened as panic began to build in her chest, "yes. I am merely feeling under the weather" she lied quickly, Angela looked concerned, "oh no, let me feel your forehead" she said reaching out and pressing the back of her hand to Lettie's face.

Lettie stood quickly, "uh excuse me! I must fetch something from the supplies closet" she said walking speedily to the back of the building where the small cupboard was located.

She opened the door and stepped in swinging it behind her, she lit the gas light she steadied herself, leaning on the shelf and breathing heavily as she tried to gather her thoughts.

She must get a control on this silly infatuation, if she wasn't careful it would land herself in big trouble. Yet she couldn't stop her heart yearning for Angela, _god what could she do to make this stop._

She heard the door open again, "sorry Maude, I just needed to grab some more softener" she called over her shoulder, "it's Angela".

Lettie didn't turn around, she gripped the shelf tighter, "Lettie, what's going on?" She asked, she touched Lettie's shoulder.

Lettie tensed at her touch, "just give me a minute" Lettie said quietly, "why have you been acting so different?" Angela pressed, "Angela don't" Lettie muttered.

Angela grabbed her arm and spun her around to face her, "why won't you talk to me? I'm your _friend_ Lettie" she said desperately.

Lettie couldn't stand it anymore, " _because I don't want us to be friends_ " she yelled, Angela stepped back looking hurt, "w-what?" She gasped.

Lettie shook her head, "no, Angela. I have something to tell you" she said slowly, Angela watched her cautiously, hurt still in her eyes. "What is it?" She asked her voice wavering.

Lettie closed her eyes and took a deep breath, she heard roaring in her ears, she tried to wrestle her emotions and nerves under control to now avail. Lettie looked at the beautiful girl stood in front of her, "I'm in love with you" she said.

Angela's eyes went wide with shock, "you- you're what?" She asked, Lettie looked to the floor, "I have been since the day we met" she admitted.

Angela didn't know what to say, "Lettie I-" she began, Lettie stupidly surged forwards and kissed her. It was rash and messy but it was _amazing_ until Angela pushed her off of her roughly.

She looked disgusted, "get off of me!" She shrieked, she spat and wiped at her mouth, "I'm sorry" Lettie said quickly realising what she had just done, Angela stepped back quickly away from her, "you're disgusting! They were right Lettie, you _are_ a freak" Angela said coldly before running out of the closet.

Lettie stood there feeling her heart shatter into a million pieces, tears flooded her eyes, sobs wracked through her body as she tried to process what had happened.

She didn't know what to do, she was going to be killed she was sure of it. God he father was already disappointed in her what would he say when he realised his freak of a daughter was a homosexual too?

Lettie didn't look at Angela for the rest of the day, they worked in complete tense silence. Lettie hoped she didn't look as devastated as she felt. She had messed up their friendship, losing Angela entirely as well as potentially ending her own life.

She was so stupid; how could she have done that. She was just a stupid kid and now she needed to pay the price. Lettie could feel the rage and hatred radiate off Angela as she ignored her. _Why did she do that?_

When the work day was over Angela left as quickly as she could but Lettie stayed all alone, she couldn't return home just yet. She couldn't bring herself to look at her father.

She wasn't sure how long she was there, she continued folding clothes, hanging the wet sheets, trying to drown her sorrows in laundry. It didn't work, _laundry couldn't fix a broken heart._

It was dark when Lettie heard the door fly open, hitting the wall. She flinched, "Leticia!" Her father roared. He ripped the sheet she had just hung off the wire.

He stood in front of her panting with anger, his face was red and his fists were clenched, "what the hell did you do?" He bellowed.

Lettie turned, afraid of what her father might do, "I-I- I just" Lettie stuttered, "you what? Decided to kiss one of my employees like some unholy _savage_?" He screamed, she could feel his spit spraying her face.

She couldn't look up at him, "I'm sorry father" she managed before she began to sob, "you're sorry? Do you realise how embarrassing it is to have a _freak_ like you for a daughter and now? What you're some queer saphisist now?" he spat.

Lettie stood quickly, "I'm sorry father! I tried to stop! I tried so hard, I just can't. I love her!" She cried, her father laughed bitterly, "you are not my daughter" he said angrily.

Lettie gasped, "father please" she begged, her father turned his head, "no. I am _not_ your father, you're fired" he said cruelly. Lettie cried harder, "I will be killed is that not enough?" She yelled.

Her father looked at her with pure hatred written in his face, "I will not alert the authorities as long as I never see you again, get out of here. If you die it will only put you out of your misery. If you stay alive however you can remember the look on that girl's face when you committed that hideous act. You can feel your broken heart killing you slowly inside. You can live your _worthless_ life knowing you will never find love, you will never be happy. When you die, of old age or disease. Maybe you will be found out and murdered. But when you die you will go straight to _hell_ where you will burn for the rest of eternity. So no you will not be killed, not yet but I will never have a daughter of mine a lesbian. Now get out of my sight you immoral creature of Satan" her father spat.

Lettie's heart broke more and more at his words, she ran out the door crying harder than ever, she didn't even go home to collect her stuff she just ran and ran.

She ran to the train station and boarded the end carriage, she watched as the town she had spent her entire life in disappeared as the train pulled away, she didn't know where she was going or what she would do but she knew from then on her life ahead of her would be one filled with pain and sorrow.


	28. Phillip Visits His Father

P.T and Charity stood in front of the group as they gathered around the ring, Anne and Phillip had just finished explaining to the couple what had happened for the past month.

Charity's eyes watered with tears, "oh Phillip I am so sorry" she said, she hugged Phillip tightly, "it's alright, I'm just glad that nightmare is over".

P.T stroked his chin as he thought, "if all that is true then that means that the real Josephine is being held captive somewhere" he mused, Constantine nodded, "we have to find her".

"The question is how, we don't have any leads" Phillip reminded everyone, "perhaps we should alert the police, they may be able to help us find her" W.D suggested.

Lettie leapt to her feet, "no! We can't involve the police!" She screamed, everyone looked at her feeling startled by her outburst, "I mean the police aren't the biggest fan of us, would it really be a good idea?" She laughed nervously.

Charles nodded, "she has a point, we don't need those flopdoodles, we can find Josephine without anyone treating us like scum" he agreed, "but how we have no clue where she could be" Anne sighed.

They all thought for a moment, it went completely silent, the only sound that could be heard was the Barnum girls chasing each other around the stands. Their giggles and shrieks filled the circus tent.

Phillip ran his hand through hair and stared at the floor, "I know what we need to do… I need to go to my fathers" he said gravely, Anne shot to her feet, "no Phillip! You can't!".

He sighed, "look I don't like the idea either but it's our only hope if we want to find out where Josephine is", P.T looked at Charity, "I don't know Phillip, I mean after everything that's happened-" he began but Constantine butt in, "P I think he's right".

W.D nodded slowly, "I hate to say it but Carlyle's idea isn't too bad" he added, Anne stared at all of them in disbelief, "are you kidding me? No way, I am not letting Phillip go to his fathers alone. We are not putting Phillip in danger like that" she protested angrily.

"Anne, it's our only choice" Phillip told her, he reached out for her hand but she stepped back, "I don't care there has to be another way, _there is no way on earth I am letting you do that_ " she argued.

Charity shared a look with P.T, "Anne, I think you're going to have to, now no one is saying anything about Phillip going alone but we have to give Josephine the best chance we can, she could be in serious danger" she reasoned.

W.D stood and walked over to his sister, "he won't be by himself, I'll go with him" he volunteered, "I will too" P.T said, Constantine rubbed his neck, "I'm definitely going, if anything goes wrong you'll want me there".

Anne looked at Phillip, "fine if you're really going I'm coming with you" she said firmly, Phillip shook his head "no you're not" he laughed, "yes I am" she argued hotly, he took her hand this time she didn't pull away, "no you're not. Anne, it's too dangerous, it will be risky enough taking W.D. You need to stay here where it's safe" he told her.

Anne stared him down angrily but he wouldn't back down, "I am _not_ letting you go there without me" she argued again, he shook his head, "you are not going and that is final" he told her, she could tell by his tone there was no room for discussion.

Instead she turned to W.D, Constantine and P.T, "if Phillip gets hurt I will personally kill you all and that's a promise" she growled before storming off.

Charles watched after her, "aren't you going to follow her Carlyle? She seems pretty steamed", Phillip shook his head, "nah she's just worried about me, she's been feeling a lot more protective lately after what happened, she'll calm down pretty soon she just needs some time" he explained.

W.D laughed, "Anne rarely gets angry but when she does you do _not_ want to follow her". Phillip pointed to him to emphasise his point.

Anne went to her and Phillip's room feeling conflicted, she was mad at him for being such an idiot, _how could he volunteer himself to go to his father's?_

But at the same time she knew she wasn't really mad, she just couldn't stand the idea of him getting hurt, she felt like she had to make up for not believing him before and so she'd been extra protective and affectionate lately, she just couldn't stop feeling guilty.

She sat hard on their bed and held her head in her hands, it probably wasn't very fair of her to storm off like that but she just felt so mad in that moment.

She worried about all the things Phillip's father could do to him if he went there, she felt a little better knowing that he wouldn't be alone but she still just couldn't stop herself from worrying about him.

She didn't know what she would do without him, she liked to put on this independent strong front, she was used to being alone. It had been just her and W.D for so long but she relied a lot more on Phillip than even he knew.

That boy was such an idiot how could he do this, she picked up a pillow and yelled in rage as she threw it against the wall, "wow what did that pillow ever do to you?" Phillip appeared in the doorway with his infamous smirk.

Anne scowled at him, "I can't believe you're going" she said grumpily, he walked over to her and she wrapped his arms around him "I have to, it's for the greater good" he said.

She hugged him close to her, "I don't care about the greater good, I care about you, I don't know this Josephine girl" she said stubbornly, Phillip raised his eyebrows and laughed, "Anne!" He laughed.

She lifted her head to look at him and sighed, "of course I want to find Josephine but right now I'm worried about you, what if he hurts you?" She fretted.

Phillip knelt so he was eye level with her, "he's not going to hurt me, you've lived with W.D for your entire life you know how good he is at protecting people, he'll keep me safe".

She sighed and wrapped her arms around his neck again, "I am not losing you" she rested her forehead against his, "no you're not, and that is promise".

She kissed him tenderly, he wrapped his arms around her waist.

Things were getting better, he didn't flinch when she kissed him anymore. She didn't realise the kiss getting more intimate until he pulled away.

She touched his face but he shied away, "I'm sorry, I didn't realise" she said quickly, he shook his head, "no, I'm sorry- I know you're being so patient through all of this. I just can't get Margaux out of my head".

Truthfully she was struggling a little with taking everything so slow again they hadn't had sex in just over 2 months, they were both tired after the show and with Anne's rehearsals or Phillip keeping up on paperwork they never had the time and then everything happened with Margaux.

Anne would never push him but at the same time, she hadn't had sex in 2 months and it was starting to take its toll. She craved his touch again, _2 months._

He kept his hands around her waist, "I've got to go soon" he murmured lowly, Anne pouted in frustration, "you better come back safe, if you get hurt-" she started, "I won't".

He kissed her again, slower and less heated this time. Her body cried in protest but she allowed him to lead the kiss.

They kissed briefly before he pulled away again, "I've got to go Anne, I'll be back soon" he stood.

She slumped against the bed, "I love you" she groaned, "I love you too" and just like that he was gone.

She sighed in frustration, _she didn't know how much longer she could take this._

Phillip met P.T, Constantine and W.D back at the ring, "are you ready for this son?" P.T asked, Phillip took a deep breath "I don't think I'll ever be" he admitted, "just remember we're here for you, everything is going to be fine" W.D clapped him on the back.

The long carriage ride to Phillip's childhood mansion went painfully slow, Phillip felt tense and nervous. He didn't unclench his fists the whole way there.

Constantine did funny imitations to try and make Phillip feel better, "heh very good Constantine" Phillip said half-heartedly, "are you not feeling it?" He asked in his normal rough Russian voice, Phillip shook his head, "thank you, I appreciate you trying to make me laugh but I'm just really on edge".

P.T patted Constantine's knee, "it's alright I liked them" he said kindly.

When the carriage arrived just outside of the gates they all piled out.

A servant stood outside on guard, "we need to speak to Mr Carlyle" W.D told him, the servant looked at him in disregard, "Mr Carlyle doesn't associate with _your kind_ " he said coldly.

Phillip stepped forward, "maybe not but I'm his son, and these are my friends, now can I speak to my father?" He asked irritably, the servant failed to mask his surprise, "m-master Phillip. Of course, right this way" he said clumsily opening the gates.

They followed the man in tails up the long path to the mansion, "this is far fancier than my place" P.T whispered to Constantine, "I've never seen anything so big" Constantine breathed.

Phillip shuddered at the sight of his old home, he never thought he would return here, now he walked up the paved path with the large white mansion looming over him, he could feel the dark and evil radiate from it's walls.

The servant he recognised to be called Reginald opened the heavy wooden doors with a loud creak, he lead them to Phillip's father's drawing room in silence.

They paused outside the door and knocked once, "what is it?" Phillip's father snarled from the other side, his voice sent shivers down Phillip's spine, he suddenly felt sick.

He might've ran away if he didn't have his friends give him encouraging looks when he turned to them, "be strong" P.T mouthed.

"I have Master Phillip and his… circus freaks with him" Reginald said distastefully, there was a hesitation before Phillip's father said "bring them in" with dark humour in his tone.


	29. Mr Carlyle Strikes Up a Deal

Reginald opened the door to reveal Phillip's father sat behind a grand mahogany desk, he was sorting through paperwork with a pipe in his mouth and a glass of whiskey sitting on the desk next to him.

He regarded Phillip with a smug expression, "that will be all Reginald" he said dismissively. Reginald bowed and shut the door behind them all.

Phillip's father took a puff of his pipe, "decided to finally come to your senses did you?" He asked coolly, Phillip felt W.D's hand on his shoulder, "I know what you did, father" Phillip spat angrily.

Phillip's father raised his eyebrows, he put his fountain down and stood, "what I did was for your own good, I can't have you associating with _his kind_ " he retorted gesturing to W.D.

Phillip shrugged off W.D's grip and walked confidently towards his father, inside he was petrified but he couldn't let his father know that. "My own good? For my own good you sent your son to beat me almost to death? You kidnapped an innocent girl and sent someone French girl to fucking _rape_ me?" His voice shook with anger but he spoke in a low calm voice.

His father picked up his glass of whiskey to his lips and took a leisurely sip, "you know what your problem is boy? You're delusional, your emotions have always clouded your vision, strayed you away from what it is important" He retorted.

Phillip laughed coldly, "I have found what is important. I have love, happiness, a loving home, a job I'm passionate about and friends who care about me. But none of that is important to you, you only care about wealth and public image" Phillip fought back.

His father watched him with beady eyes, he took a puff from his pipe as he considered what Phillip had said. Phillip expected him to threaten him or belittle him but he didn't.

Instead Phillip watched as his father produced a glass from the cabinet behind him, he poured Phillip a glass of whiskey from the crystal decanter, "have a drink" he said extending the glass to Phillip.

Phillip pushed it away, "no thanks" he replied coldly, he stared at the glass filled with expensive whiskey. His body craved after it but Phillip resisted, he wouldn't let Anne down again.

"I said drink" his father roared, "and he said no" P.T stepped forward. His demeanour was calm but Phillip could see the hatred burning in his eyes, he stood next to Phillip protectively.

Phillip's father set down the full glass of whiskey and rose slowly, he walked out from behind his desk so he stood in front of them, only a few feet away. Too close for Phillip's liking.

"And who the hell are you?" He asked, "Phineas Taylor Barnum, the man who's been more of a father to Phillip than you have ever been, Sir" He spat.

Phillip's father smirked arrogantly, "oh yes, the owner of that pathetic circus of yours" he laughed dryly, "you're a sad, sad little man Mr Carlyle" P.T said sympathetically.

Phillip's father finished his whiskey and poured himself another, "if you mean rich and successful beyond your wildest dreams then yes I'm a very sad man. Tell me Barnum what do you have? I have been watching you for a while, I'll admit you've done well for a man of your sorts" he mused.

P.T abandoned his calm demeanour, he glared at the man and took a step forward, his fists clenched but Phillip stopped him.

"Enough!" He said looking at the both of them, they both stopped and turned to Phillip.

"Father we came here for a reason" he announced,

"Oh is that so? If it's for your inheritance then you can forget it. No son of mine is pratting around with some black _whore_ " he laughed.

W.D growled, "that black whore is my sister, I suggest you shut the fuck up and listen" he threatened, "I don't take orders from a nigger" he retaliated.

Constantine cracked his knuckles, "how about a Russian? Sit down before I make you sit down" he ordered.

Phillip's father regarded the two men bitterly but nevertheless he strode casually back around to behind his desk and took his seat once again.

He looked at Phillip expectantly "I want to know what you did with the real Josephine, is she still alive?" Phillip asked.

Phillip's father took another sip of whiskey, "I will never tell you" he replied, Phillip slammed his hands on the desk, "you tell me or god help me" he screamed, he too lost his calm demeanour. His temper simply boiled over. His father had always had that effect on him, usually leading to a beating.

Phillip's father looked calm and emotionless, "or what? What will you do Phillip?" He asked confidently, Phillip opened his mouth but said nothing, "that's what I thought, you're weak" he said smugly.

Phillip took a deep breath "you've always told me everyone has a price, what's yours?", his father smirked. He had exactly what he wanted, "I will you tell you where the girl is if you give up that silly life of yours. You stay here and never return to that place, you will never see that girl again. This will be the last you ever see of your so-called friends" Phillip's father proposed.

Phillip's heart sank. He wanted to rescue Josephine but could he give up his entire life he had built for himself for her? He looked at his friends sadly, could he say goodbye to them forever to ensure for Josephine's safety.

They all looked as shell shocked as he felt, P.T looked devastated. Phillip had grown to be like the son he never had. But Phillip knew what he had to do, P.T grabbed his shoulder, "it's okay Phillip, whatever you decide, everything will alright" he said numbly, he started to get teary eyed so he turned away.

Even Constantine looked emotional as he looked at Phillip, "we'll figure something out" he promised, he was hit hard by Phillip's father proposal as they all were.

Phillip thought of the real Josephine locked up somewhere, scared and alone. He couldn't leave her there, he knew he had no choice but to submit.

Phillip turned to his father, "on one condition" he replied shakily, Phillip's father downed his whiskey, "go on" he urged.

Phillip closed his eyes, unable to stand the confident expression on his father's face, "take us to Josephine and let me say goodbye to Anne. We'll return Josephine to the circus and there I can say goodbye, once I have done so I will return here with you. I'll take any job you want, act however you wish me to, I will do whatever you say with no complaint" he offered painfully.

Phillip's father studied Phillip for a few seconds then outstretched his hand, "fine, you can feel the torture of seeing the look on that girl's face as you break her heart. As you resign to me with nothing you can do, you'll have to be the one how you can never see her again. That's better than my original plan" he boasted an evil smirk on his face.

Phillip accepted his hand, they shook firmly. Phillip's father's grip tightened however, he leaned forward. Phillip could smell the sour whiskey on his breath, "I warn you now, if you try anything then I will kill all of your circus freak's one by one starting with that black nigger sister of his" he promised sending a smug look at W.D.

W.D clenched his fists, his breathing raggedy as he tried to get a grip on his anger, he would not let some rich white man speak so poorly of his sister. He was already taking away the person she cared most about.

W.D felt helpless, he couldn't save Josephine and Phillip at the same time, there was nothing he could do but accept it as Phillip's father took Phillip away from them all. He was a part of their family now, how would they leave without him.

Phillip gulped nervously but nodded.


	30. They All Rescue Josephine

Accompanied by 5 men with guns, one of which was Harvey, Phillip, his father, W.D, P.T and Constantine all got into 2 large carriages.

The journey was in truth only twenty minutes but to Phillip it felt like forever. So many thoughts raced through his mind.

 _How would he break it to Anne? What state was Josephine going to be in? Where were they going? How was he ever going to survive without Anne?_

Every time his mind wandered to her he felt emotion rising in his chest and crawling up his throat. He was having a really tough time stomaching what he had just agreed to.

He forced his mind onto the matters at hand, he couldn't break down now.

They arrived outside an abandoned building, it looked worse for wear. The grey stone bricks were coated with dirt and filth after years of neglect. The building was crumbling and falling apart, lots of the bricks were missing or cracked.

The grass surrounding the building was wild and uncut, it homed many untamed fungi or weeds that clung to the skeleton of the building.

They all stepped out and surveyed the abandoned building, Phillip wasn't even sure what it's original purpose was. "We're here" Phillip's father announced.

They walked inside, Phillip prepared him for the worst, he wouldn't put anything past his father, there was a fairly large chance the girl was already dying or dead.

The interior was worse than the outside. Paper, timber and debris littered the earth coloured floor, the bricks inside were practically brown with god knows what. Mould and vines wallpapered the ceiling and crept down the walls.

But the smell was the worst part of it all, it was pungent and foul and it hit Phillip like a brick wall.

Phillip gagged the second they stepped inside, he covered his nose with his sleeve as they continued on through the room.

The room they were in was dark and Phillip found it difficult to see anything. He could tell the room was large and empty by the way their footsteps echoed.

He didn't register the girl bound in the centre of the room, slumped on the floor until his eyes adjusted to the poor, dim lighting.

At first glance she appeared to be unconscious. Her hands were bound behind her back with rope that cut into her hands, a fabric gag lay loosely around her neck.

She looked pale and sickly, a thin layer of sweat coated her face, her short brunette hair was straggly and knotted. What worried Phillip the most was how skinny she looked, Phillip could imagine she probably hadn't eaten since being held captive.

P.T dashed forward and shook the girl gently, "what have you done?" He asked, turning back to look at Phillip's father.

He calmly presented a knife he had pulled out from his inner breast pocket, "calm yourself man, she is merely asleep" he said.

He walked over to her and cut her bound hands free, W.D knelt next to the girl, "Josephine" he called softly.

The girls eyes shot open, she immediately shuffled away from them all, "wha- who are you? Please don't hurt me" she responded shakily, Phillip noticed the fear in her eyes.

W.D untied the gag and removed it from her neck, "we aren't here to hurt you, we're here to help you. My name's W.D, this is Phillip, P.T and Constantine" he told her gesturing to them all.

One of the men carrying guns sighed impatiently and shifted his weight. Josephine watched them with a guarded expression, "you're freeing me?" She directed at W.D.

Phillip nodded instead in response, he stepped forward and removed his jacket which he draped around her shoulders.

Josephine was shivering despite the fact it was August and so it was warm, there was a cool summery breeze but it definitely wasn't cold.

"They're going to take you to the circus, there they'll give you a job and a home" he said.

Constantine offered his hand which she gratefully accepted, he hauled her to her feet. She immediately stumbled as she tried to step forward, not used to walking after so long. Constantine caught her effortlessly.

He gave her a look asking for permission before he wrapped a strong arm around her, helping her to walk.

Harvey watched with an uneasy expression, even he felt wrong about the situation, he realised his father had kidnapped a girl and kept her here but seeing it made it all feel real to him.

He was only 18, he could be a vile person and his morals were certainly not as intact as they should've been but he wasn't malicious, not like his father was.

When he noticed his older brother looking at him he quickly changed his face to a hardened neutral scowl.

Phillip's father however watched on feeling bored and careless, "are we done here yet?" He asked, P.T bit back an angry reply at how insensitive and inhumane he was.

They helped Josephine out to the carriages, she looked physically relieved once inside one of the carriages. Their journey to the circus began.

Phillip now had nothing to distract him from the overwhelming fact he had just sold his life away for the girl's safety.

He would never see Anne again after he bid her goodbye. That alone was enough to make him want to crumble but he in the carriage as well as W.D and Josephine was his father. He would not approve if Phillip cried.

W.D caught his eye, despite Phillip's desperate attempt to look composed and calm he saw through it, he could tell just how hard Phillip was trying to hold it together, he knew it wouldn't be long before he failed.

He sent him a comforting look, "it will be okay" he said again, Phillip grabbed at his own knee, it was getting more and more difficult to pretend. "Please, tell Anne how much I love her once I'm gone" he begged.

Phillip's father shot him a disgusted look, "stop it. You will soon realise once you've left that life behind how worthless they really are to you, she's just holding you back Phillip. I will not have a Carlyle moping around over some insignificant black girl" he ordered.

Phillip repressed the rising urge to cry, "no father. You're wrong. I love her now and I will never stop loving her" he said, his voice broke with emotion.

W.D looked at him sorrowfully, "I'll tell her Phillip. We're all going to miss you so much, you've left a massive impact on all of us, I am so proud to have known you" he said with a hint of pride.

Phillip looked outside the window he just couldn't stand the idea of what his disappearance would do to Anne. It had almost killed her before when she'd lost him to Margaux, how would she react this time?

He felt his heart throb with pain and guilt, he would rather die than live without her but what choice did he have?


	31. Anne Says Goodbye To Phillip Forever

Anne swung herself through the air, she decided she would practice as she always did when she felt anxious.

She worried about Phillip and her brother, they had been gone for quite a while, she tried to stop her horrible thoughts worrying about what could be happening to them in this very moment.

She wrapped her body around the rope posing elegantly, she followed the steps through her routine but her heart just wasn't into it.

She unravelled her body and leapt to the long rope she usually swings on at the end of the show and dropped down the rope.

Nothing could help to settle her nerves, not even trapeze. It usually always calmed her mind, when she was flying through the air she felt free but she could only think of Phillip and W.D.

She saw Phillip followed by W.D as she slid down the rope, her heart leapt with relief. They were both alright, and Constantine and P.T walked behind them with a girl between them. They had rescued Josephine.

Anne jumped from the rope 10 feet above the ground, she rolled safely and ran as fast as she could to Phillip.

She didn't notice their solemn faces, she only saw he was unharmed and her excitement took over, "you're back!" She screamed as she hugged him sending him stumbling back a few steps.

He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight, she noticed how tense he was. She tried to pull away so she could look at him but he held her there, "what's wrong?" She asked.

She felt his tears on her neck, she pushed him away harder so he would let go and she could look at him, "Phillip? What's happened?" She asked.

He stared at her face as he cried, he tried to hold a neutral look but his pain was clearly visible, Anne looked at her brother, he too looked pained and miserable.

Phillip's father appeared followed by 5 men, they were all armed with guns. Phillip's father stormed forward and pointed the gun at Phillip's head, "you have one minute Phillip" he said icily.

By now the oddities were starting to come out to watch what was going on, they all mumbled to each other when they saw the guns, "what the hell do you think you're doing invading our home with guns like this?" Frederic, the 750 pound man said.

Harvey turned the gun on him, "shut it fatty, keep quiet and no one gets hurt" he said aggressively. The oddities gasped and scrambled for cover.

Phillip stared above Anne's head unable to look her in the eye "Anne, I have to go. I made a deal with my father if he let us rescue Josephine I would come back home and live whatever life he chooses me to there" he choked.

Anne's eyes widened, horror spread through her body. She couldn't lose Phillip _not again_. She couldn't breathe, her heart felt like it weighed a thousand pounds.

She hugged him tightly, "no! You can't go! I just got you back!" She cried, she inhaled his scent, would this be the last time she ever saw him.

He pushed her away and grabbed her face, "listen to me. I love you so much Anne, thank you for the best year of my life, I never thought I could be as happy as I was with you. I will never forget you but you must move on, find someone who makes you as happy as you've made me. I love you Anne Wheeler" he told her.

She shook her head as tears flowed down her cheeks, "no! I will never find anyone else! You're the only one for me Phillip. I love you so much you can't go" she pleaded.

Phillip's father cleared his throat impatiently, Anne surged forward crashing her lips against Phillip's. She poured her heart and soul into the kiss, giving him all her love and emotions, he responded back with as much rigger if not more.

Phillip's father tried to prise them apart but Anne wrapped her arms around him tightly. She was too strong for him, "that is enough! You will not touch my son you filthy nigger" he spat, he raised his hand and slapped her hard across the cheek.

Anne still didn't let go but buried her head in the crook of Phillip's neck as she cried harder

W.D grabbed Phillip's father and threw him to the floor, "if you ever lay hands on my sister again I'll kill you" he roared.

Phillip's father reached for the gun but W.D kicked it away, Anne grabbed Phillip's hands, "come on let's go" she tried to drag him away but he stood in place.

She looked at him desperately, "no Anne, if I don't do this he'll come after you or the others" he tried his best to stop crying and be strong for Anne but the look on her face broke his heart.

She tugged at his hand, "please I can't live without you, we'll run away. Get on a train and find somewhere else. It doesn't matter I just want to be with you" she begged.

Phillip looked at the oddities who all watched them, he looked at the men with their guns all trained on the two of them, "I can't let them hurt you Anne, if we take one step we'll be killed" he pulled his hand out of her grip.

Her sadness turned to anger, "I won't let them take you" she insisted, Harvey trained his gun on her, "step away from Phillip or I'll shoot".

Anne took a step towards Harvey, "shoot me. I'd rather die with Phillip than live without him" she snarled, "fine by me" Harvey retorted, he pulled the trigger.

Phillip charged forward, he tackled Anne out of the way, she fell to the floor and Phillip took the bullet. He screamed as it entered his left side just under the rib.

Anne crawled over to Phillip, "no! You monster how could you do this to your own brother?" She shouted as she cradled Phillip's head.

His shirt began to turn red as the blood soaked through the material, Phillip's father struggled to his feet, W.D tried to stop him but Phillip's father kicked him hard in the crotch.

W.D writhed on the floor in pain but stayed down. He stood over them both and pointed the gun at Anne, "move now" he ordered.

Phillip pushed Anne's hand away as she stroked his face "Anne, get out of here. Now" he wheezed, she shook her head, "I'm not losing you, stay with me" she sobbed.

Phillip's father cocked the gun, "last chance, move or die" he warned. With a great deal of agony Phillip wriggled off Anne and pushed her away weakly.

Phillip's father lowered the gun, "John help me with Phillip. William, Harvey make sure these two don't try and stop me" he commanded.

A tall muscular man helped Phillip's father drag him roughly to his feet, Harvey and a skinny man pointed their guns at Anne and W.D as they took Phillip away.

The remaining men surrounded Phillip, his father and Harvey, guns pointed at the oddities.

Anne rose slowly to her feet hands raised and watched as the love of her life, possibly dying was dragged away from her, there was nothing she could do.


	32. Helen & Caroline Sleep Over

Anne sat heavily on their bed, it had been a week since Phillip had been taken from her.

This was so much worse than the last time they were apart, then she thought he didn't love her.

She thought then that that was the worst pain imaginable but it didn't even compare to knowing how much he loves her but they just couldn't be together.

The shows without him were horrible, P.T had come back to the circus in Phillip's absence. The audience didn't know any different but Anne knew.

The whole cast felt hollow and incomplete without Phillip, it didn't feel right. She would sing their duo alone, there was no shocking end to the show. It was exactly how it used to be before P.T met Phillip.

Before _she_ met him. _Before her life truly began_ , she was a completely different person before Phillip.

She found it odd, she'd lived 20 years without Phillip but since she had met him she struggled to get through a day if she couldn't talk to him or be with him.

As she sat in their empty room she reflected on how much he had really changed her, before she met him she had no confidence, no self-worth. She was too afraid to step out of line or express what she had to say.

A black girl wasn't allowed to have any views, she would keep her personality locked up tight inside of her, she could only be herself around W.D. And then she met Phillip.

Phillip who changed her life forever, he loved her before she could love herself. He taught her so much, he showed her how to love herself, how to stand up for what she believed in. He told her it was alright to be who she was over and over until she believed it herself.

She didn't need to be afraid anymore, she felt strong when she was with him, she felt like a real human being for the first time in her life.

but what good did it do her? Since she changed for what she thought was the better all it's done is get her into trouble, yes she felt strong with Phillip but alone she felt the same scared girl she'd always been.

It was so difficult to stay strong, people's words cut her like a knife, she tried to build walls. She tried to shut them out so nothing could hurt her but they could.

It was hard being the black sheep, literally. Every time her and Phillip stepped outside of the circus walls she would have to be strong and she couldn't.

Being strong and no longer hiding away put her in dangerous situations, it put Phillip at risk. Since she had tried to fight the opposition from them being together too much had happened.

Phillip ran into a fire, he got beaten half to death, he got raped and now he had been shot.

All because he refused to stop loving her, because he taught her no matter what people did or said she should never apologise for who she was.

She couldn't let Phillip get hurt for her anymore. All her life everyone else had stood and protected her, they had taken the fall for her.

She couldn't count the numbers of times W.D had taken beatings meant for her so she wouldn't get hurt, he got into fights constantly because a white man had tried to hit her or worse.

Phillip got so angry when people said the things she'd been hearing her whole life, he didn't understand how she had come to expect it. He only saw the pain in her eyes when they would scream slurs at her.

It hurt, she couldn't lie, it did. But it was never anything she hadn't heard before. This was the life a black person had to live.

She remembered W.D's words, "Don't let the world tell us we don't matter. We will never stop fighting for the same rights as everyone else". But it was so hard and she was tired.

She wasn't sure how long she could keep fighting for, she had lived her whole life how she was supposed to:

 _Don't look white folk in the eye._

 _Don't speak unless spoken to._

 _Always do as instructed, never say no._

 _Always address them with Sir or Ma'am._

 _Stay out of sight until called._

She had lived by the rules her entire life until she met Phillip. She knew she had to fight for him, she knew it wouldn't be easy.

That's why she tried to not get involved when she saw how he looked at her but now it was too late, she was in too deep and she had no choice to fight.

Nobody realised how draining it was to pretend to be strong every single day, to pretend you don't care when you're constantly being told how useless you are, how worthless you are, how you should be killed because you look different.

She couldn't do it anymore. She was scared. She didn't know if Phillip was alive.

At night when she lay in their bed, that was way too big and empty without him, she worried constantly. Was he even alive? Had he been killed for his moralistic crime of loving a black woman? What was his father doing to him?

She had nightmares every night, _she saw his limp bloody body being dragged away from her again. He watched her with those half-lidded eyes as the life was being drained from his body._

She remembered how useless she felt, _a gun trained to her head. She wanted to run and scream and stop them and she couldn't. One wrong move and she'd be dead too._

If she died she would never have a chance to get Phillip back. _Could she get Phillip back?_ W.D wouldn't tell her when he lived now. He didn't want Anne risking her life even for Phillip but she needed to get him back.

Exhaustion ran through her body, she couldn't think about it anymore. She felt too weary and the anxiety just burned up her energy more and more. It consumed her and left her feeling weak and alone.

She fell back against the bed, too tired to do anything but lie there trying to push away the bad thoughts.

The door opened but she didn't have the motivation to lift her head, "auntie Anne!" Helen squealed, she felt the mattress sink as the two girls clambered onto the bed and hugged her enthusiastically.

She smiled and shuffled backwards so her back was to the wall, she wrapped her arms around the Barnum girls, P.T and Charity appeared in the doorway.

P.T removed his hat respectfully as he watched his daughters cuddling into Anne, "I know you've been struggling this week" he began but Caroline cut him short, "so daddy said we can sleep here with you tonight so you don't feel lonely" she could barely contain her joy.

Charity laughed, "if that's alright with you of course" she added, Anne's heart felt a little lighter at this, "I love the girls, of course they can stay here tonight" she said as cheerfully as she could muster.

Helen leapt to her feet, "yay! We're having a sleepover!" She screamed in delight, jumping up and down on the bed. P.T gave her a weary look, "good luck" he laughed.

The girls dressed into their nightgowns then lay against Anne in the slightly less ominously empty bed.

They looked to her with such awe, she was practically God's gift to them, they loved her and looked up to her enormously, "auntie Anne?" Helen asked.

Anne looked at the blonde girl and hummed in response, "when is Uncle Phillip coming home?" She asked, Anne's stomach dropped _how could she answer that?_

The girls had both been playing with Anne's curls, amazed by how her hair looked and felt. At the mention of Phillip however they both stopped, "I really miss him" Caroline said sadly.

Anne kissed her head, "I know sweetie, but it will be okay" she lied, Helen looked at her with big blue eyes that made Anne's heart melt. Today they looked so sad, "but where did Uncle Phillip go? When will he come home?" She pressed.

Anne looked at the two girls who stared up at her expectantly. She didn't know what to tell them. She didn't want to lie but on the other hand the truth would be too much for the young girls to handle.

She settled on somewhere in the middle, "well he went back home to his real family, I'm not sure when he's going to be back" she said trying to keep the sadness out of her own voice.

Caroline's eyes filled with hurt, "he left us?" She asked feeling betrayed, Anne shook her head, "no, Phillip would never leave you two. He loves you to pieces, but there was some things he had to sort out at his other home and he could be gone for a while" she explained gingerly. She knew she had to be careful of what she said. She didn't want to upset the girls more.

Helen laid her head against Anne's shoulder, "do you miss him?" She asked, Anne cleared her throat, they didn't understand how difficult this conversation was for her.

She sighed, "yes, I do. I really wish he would come home but he has important things he needs to do. But yes, I miss him awfully with every day he's gone" she confessed.

Both Helen and Caroline hugged Anne, "I'm sorry" Helen said. Anne smiled at how thoughtful they had grown to be, "c'mon let's get to sleep shall we?" She kissed their foreheads.

Caroline yawned, "I'm not tired" she protested sleepily, "me-" Helen joined in but yawned mid-sentence, "me neither" she added but Helen was already almost asleep.

Anne laughed lowly, "are you sure?" She asked playfully, she heard Helen begin to softly snore. Unable to fight sleep any longer, "can you sing to me?" Caroline asked.

Anne laid down next to the girls, "alright what do you want me to sing?" She asked.

Caroline shrugged, "anything" she yawned once more, Anne thought for a moment, what could she sing. She remembered an old French lullaby her mother would sing to her and W.D back on the farm when they were young.

"This is a very special song, my mother used to sing to me when I was young, it's in French but it's soothing" Anne whispered, then she began to sing, " _Au clair de la lune, mon ami Pierrot, prete-moi ta plume, pour écrire un mot_ ".

Caroline smiled as she drifted slowly to sleep along with her sister, " _Ma chandelle est morte, je n'ai plus de feu, ouvre-moi ta porte, pour l'amour de Dieu_ " Anne continued.

She was surprised she still remembered the words so clearly, it had been at least 13 years since she had last heard it but the words came back to her naturally.

They almost flowed from within her memories, she felt comforted singing the old song, " _Au clair de la lune, Pierrot repondit, je n'ai pas de plume, je suis dans mon lit_ " Anne sung, her voice cracked slightly as she tried to sing quietly.

She realised they had both fallen asleep, "Va chez la voisine, je crois qu'elle y est, car dans sa cuisine, on bat le briquet" Anne finished cutting the song short.

She looked at the two sleeping Barnum sisters lovingly, "goodnight girls" she whispered before she too fell her eyes and submitted herself to sleep.


	33. Mrs Carlyle Realises She Was Wrong

Phillip felt groggy and sore as he opened his eyes, he'd been slipping in and out of consciousness for the past week but whenever he woke up he was in too much pain and so passed out from shock again.

This time when he awoke the pain in his side was more of a sharp but bearable pain.

Phillip sat himself up with great difficulty, coughing uncontrollably as he did so. His chest felt tight and constricting it was hard for him to breathe. His breath sound wheezy and rattley he reminded himself of an old man.

Phillip felt a rush of emotions as he recalled what had happened; rescuing Josephine, being shot, leaving Anne. _Oh god Anne_. He was trapped in this hell hole again.

He was alone, depressed and angry. Yet he was the only one to blame, he had agreed to his father's deal.

He had to have been the hero, he sacrificed himself for Josephine and now he needed to pay the price.

The door to his room opened to reveal his favourite servant, Eva. She carried a bowl of warm water.

She looked slightly surprised to see Phillip sat up awake, "sorry Sir, I didn't expect to see you conscious" she apologised with a courtesy.

Phillip touched his injured side tenderly, "how long has it been since the accident?" He asked.

Eva placed the bowl of water on his end table, she produced a cloth from a pocket in her white apron. Phillip allowed to her unbutton his shirt to care for his wound, "about a week sir" she answered obediently.

Phillip winced as she undid his bandages, "has my father said anything?" He asked, Eva shook her head, "no Sir, Mr Carlyle hasn't mentioned you at all to me, nor have I heard him discuss you to anyone else".

Phillip wished he was surprised, "and my mother?" He asked, Eva looked unsettled, "well she hasn't discussed you at all but she has visited you at night when Mr Carlyle has been asleep, she ordered me not to say anything to anyone" she explained.

Phillip nodded. He felt sick when he saw how his side looked underneath the bandages, there was a hole where he had been shot, it was dry and crusty with blood around the edges. He could see his muscle inside.

He turned away, feeling too feint to look any longer. Phillip yelped when Eva pressed the warm wet cloth against him, "I'm sorry Sir, I have to or it'll get infected" she apologised hurriedly.

Phillip thumped the bed next to him, "it's alright, I understand" he said in a strained voice, "try not to think about it, think of something else" she suggested.

He cast his eyes on the painting on the wall next to him, it showed a beautiful lake in front of a mountain. Phillip had always found it calming to look at, "like what?" He wheezed.

Eva tried her best to be as gentle as she could, "you ran away to the circus, what was it like Sir?" She asked, he looked at her with pained eyes.

"It was the best year of my life, I met the love of my life and now we're parted. I was the ringleader when Barnum stepped down to take care of his daughters, I became close with all the oddities there. They're not freaks like everyone thinks, they're amazing people with unique talents" he reminisced.

His eyes teared up when he remembered he will never see any of them again, "what was her name?" Eva asked, "Anne, Anne Wheeler" he said, he wanted to cry.

Eva saw his distress, she put down the cloth and patted his shoulder, "if it's any comfort she sounds amazing Sir" she said truthfully, Phillip wiped his eyes, "she was, she is. You should see her when she performs. She's a trapeze artist, she can do the most incredible things. She's fearless" he said proudly.

Eva wrapped torso once again, "I would love to see her, but I am never allowed to leave her either" she laughed but he could hear the unhappiness in her voice.

Phillip laid his hand on hers, she looked shocked. Servants were not supposed to touch them unless ordered too, "if I ever get away from here again then I will take you with me" he promised.

Eva smiled, "thank you Sir, you're too kind" she curtseyed, she finished tying his fresh bandages, "is there anything else Sir?" She asked.

Phillip nodded, "yes please can you bring my mother in here, I need to talk to her, tell it's urgent" he asked.

Eva picked up the bowl, "I will fetch her straight away Sir".

Phillip thought about everything as she left, what was going to happen now? Would he go back to writing? He wouldn't allow himself to return to the life he had before.

Girls, drinking, violence, depression. He wouldn't be that man again. He will never touch another girl, he will not let himself drink another drop of alcohol. He will be a good man who does good things despite everything. Phillip would be good.

It wasn't long before Phillip heard a knock at his door, "enter" he called, his mother opened the door and held gasped. She held her hands to her mouth for a few seconds before rushing to his bed side and hugging him.

Phillip grunted in pain but hugged his mother back. She was very different to his father, she was more like him than his father or brother. Or he supposed he was more like her…

She shook slightly as she took him in her arms. She felt thinner than he'd remembered, "Oh Phillip, I was so worried about you" she fretted, she stood so she could take a proper look.

Phillip caressed her cheek, "I've missed you so much" he confessed, "my boy, I'm so glad you finally gave up that circus life and came home" she whispered happily.

Phillip frowned, "what did father tell you?" He questioned, she spread her hands, "nothing, when I saw you being carried in you looked lifeless, he said you'd been shot and if you recovered you were staying here from now on and that was it, he told me nothing else" she explained.

Phillip sat up straighter, his head swam. He had figured his father might try and hide the exact details but had he really told his mother nothing?

Phillip took her hand, "mother listen to me, I didn't choose to return home of my own accord. I made a deal with father, he'd kidnapped this girl who was to audition for the circus and replaced her with a French girl who forced herself upon me. When we realised she wasn't who she was supposed to be we knew we had to find the real girl. I agreed to return home if he would spare her life and let us rescue her" Phillip revealed.

His mother's eyes widened with shock, "so you didn't realise your mistake and return home to fix it?" She asked. Phillip felt angry at this but he shook his head.

His mother was kind and caring, she did not support violence or hatred, she was merely ignorant. She was raised to be racist and hate anyone who was different, it was hardwired into her brain but she never truly hated anyone.

Phillip's father was a poor husband to her, he lied and manipulated her and hid most of the things he did as he knew she would not improve. She had always tried her best to protect Phillip the best she could growing up but she too feared Phillip's father as Phillip did.

She tried to not be influenced by her husband's wicked ways but she had no choice most of the time, if she did not give into him he would abuse her in horrible ways.

She truly believed Phillip running away to the circus was the worst choice he'd ever made, she didn't understand. She thought Anne was bad for him, she was black and poor and definitely not the kind of girl a rich powerful upper-class man like Phillip should be associating with.

He wanted to make her understand, "mother please, listen to me, just listen. I know you're not like father, I know you'll hear me out, can you just do that? Please?" He implored.

His mother saw how passionate he felt, "I will" she drew a nearby chair she had sat in at night as she watched him. She took a seat and watched him expectantly.

He wasn't sure where to begin. Words were usually his strong point but now he didn't know where to begin,  
"the circus wasn't a mistake. It isn't how you think it would be. The people there, they're beautiful and kind and yes they're different but that's what makes them so important. They're just people like you and me and they're the most caring group I have ever met. They took me in and loved me and gave me a home, they've grown to be like a family to me and they're my friends. Working at the circus was so much more than a job, I never cared for the money or the publicity. I loved what I did there" he spoke with such energy he could see in his mother's eyes she began to believe him.

She licked her lips, she didn't want to upset Phillip. She searched for the right words, "but what about that circus girl you were with at the theatre? Anne? She isn't the one for you Phillip. You should be with a girl of your class and race, she is a black girl. You are white" She replied delicately.

Phillip waved his arms, "yes, why is that a problem? Why does it matter that we are not of the same colour? It doesn't matter what is on the outside mother! We are all the same inside whether we're white or black, she has a big heart and a beautiful soul and I love her" he exclaimed.

Mrs Carlyle had _never_ heard a white person defending a black one, let alone her son. _Was what he said true?_ "But Phillip, if you are seen with a girl like that you'd lose all of your reputation, people would talk. You should be with a girl suitable for you who-" She tried to convince him.

He cut her off,  
"who what? Isn't my happiness all that matters? I do not care about my reputation, I don't care for all this money and fame. I'm happier there, I'm happier living a simple life with her. She makes me happy, she accepts me as I am. She loves me for me, she knows I am flawed, she knows the man I used to be and she doesn't care. She is beautiful inside and out, she is funny and sweet and talented beyond compare, she is who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I can never see myself with another girl, for none of them even come close to her, or the way she makes me feel" he gushed.

He felt the power behind his words and his mother did too. He'd always been good at pouring his emotion into words, it was the reason he was always so great at persuading people to do as he wished. The raw emotion of his words washed over his mother as she saw she saw _she_ was the one who'd made a mistake.

Her eyes filled with sorrow and regret, "I am so sorry Phillip, you shouldn't be here. I want you to have a happy life and if your happy life is with her and those at the circus that is where you should be. I had no idea what your father had done" she gasped.

He shut his eyes, "it's all well and good you understand, but I am trapped here. I can never return to my love, father will never let me leave" he moaned pitifully.

His mother wrapped her arms around him once again, "I am so sorry Phillip. I should've listened sooner, I'm so sorry".


	34. Charity & Anne Plan a Memorial

Anne was trying her best to practice her routine with W.D but she just couldn't get it right, her concentration was really off.

She had attempted a backflip but instead landed face first in the straw, "oof" she grunted as she hit the floor.

The air was taken from her lungs, she lay on her back feeling dazed. Luckily W.D came to her rescue.

He knelt over her, "Anne are you okay?" He asked, she tried to speak but she'd been winded so all that came out was a pathetic wheeze. She thumbsed up instead.

He helped her to sit up, "you really do need to focus more" he sighed, she shot him an annoyed look, "well you do or you'll get yourself hurt" he continued. He was met with another annoyed look.

Anne hugged her stomach, feeling the overwhelming urge to vomit, "look I know it's been tough not having Phillip around anymore" he stroked her back.

She breathed heavily out of her nose to show she was angry, considering at this given moment she was too breathless to voice her emotions.

He stood up, being smart enough to put some distance between them. Even with Anne temporarily demobilised he wouldn't risk it, "I understand how you're feeling right now but if you don't concentrate it could be dangerous" he nagged.

Anne finally felt able to breathe again, she got to her feet and turned quickly on W.D, "you understand how I'm feeling do you? Let me ask you, have you ever been in love D?" She shouted.

He shut his mouth and said nothing. He didn't want to anger her further, "well have you?" Anne demanded, he sighed and turned his head, "no" he replied shortly.

"Have you ever had a girlfriend?", he gritted his teeth, "no but-" he said.

She cut him off, "no you haven't. You have no idea how I'm feeling. You talk about him as if he's just gone out and he could come back any second. _He's dead W.D_. Phillip is dead. I watched them kill my boyfriend in front of me and drag him away. So don't you dare say you understand how I'm feeling because you cannot even begin to imagine how I feel" she spat.

He stared at her in stunned silence, "you know what? Rehearsals are over, I need to get out of here" she muttered.

She turned and stormed away from him, "where are you going?" He called after her, "to the Barnum's" she yelled back.

She had realised dreaming of seeing Phillip again was crazy, she was sure he was dead. How could anybody survive being shot in the ribs, he was bleeding so much she'd be surprised if he even survived the journey to his old home.

She couldn't wrap her mind around the idea he was really dead, how could he be? Nine days ago he'd been here, right here in this room. She'd spoken to him and touched him and kissed him and now he was gone.

He was so young, only 25 how could he be dead? He had things he wanted to do, he had dreams, they had plans together.

What made it worse was nobody acknowledged he was really dead, nobody but Charity. They just kept on living and ignoring the fact one of them had been killed right there in the tent, they rarely talked about Phillip and when they did they just talked about him as if he'd gone off on a trip, as if any day now he'd just walk back in and be the same old Phillip.

They hid their grief and sorrow and just lived their lives. It wasn't fair, life just carried on and it wasn't right. There shouldn't be any sunny days, there shouldn't be any happiness. Not without Phillip.

Nobody talked about it and it drove Anne crazy, she needed to talk about it, she needed to talk about it to respect Phillip, so it wouldn't be for nothing. So it would never happen again.

Charity was the only person who acted appropriately, she grieved the death of her adopted son. Her and Anne cried together and talked about him and honoured his death so it meant something.

She arrived on the Barnum doorstep an emotional wreck, she felt relieved the girls would be at school because they couldn't see her like this.

Not their strong brave Anne because today she wasn't her, she was the heartbroken unstable Anne who'd lost the man she loved.

She rung the bell and waited, it wasn't long before Charity opened the door and enveloped her in a warm hug she desperately needed.

She began to cry as the older woman held her in her welcoming arms, "oh Anne" she stroked her back comfortingly.

The sobs wracked through her body, "I can't believe he's gone" she choked, Charity kissed her cheek, "I know, me neither but we'll get through this".

Charity took her to the living room where they sat on the loveseat, "how? I can't go on like this without him" Anne sniffled, "don't say that, pain doesn't last forever. I know it hurts now but it'll get easier" Charity said but she didn't sound very convinced herself.

Anne pushed the hair from her eyes, "no, they all say that but it doesn't. I've lost friends on the farm when I was a child, it never gets easier. I still think about them, it still tears me up inside. I can't go on like this Charity. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't think. It's affecting my work now too".

Charity listened patiently, "I know it's hard Anne but at some point you will be ready to move on, nobody expects you to get over him just like that but it's not always going to be this difficult I promise you".

Anne shook her head, "no I will never move on. I am never going to love another man the way I loved him, I just can't. He is the only one I've ever wanted, Phillip is the only one I could ever be with" she insisted.

Charity sighed, "how can he be dead, he was just here with us" she held her head in her hands, it was Anne's turn to do the comforting.

"It's crazy how quick life can just be taken away, it reminds us how fragile human life really is. You can be here one minute and gone the next" she said thoughtfully.

Charity straightened her skirt, "I just hope he's in a good place, where his father can never get to him again, where he'll be reunited with you someday".

Anne considered this for a moment, "they say it's immoral to be with a black girl, it's unnatural and I should go to hell… You don't think…" she asked.

She was worried he would be paying the price for their relationship, what if he never got into heaven and he was banished to hell for all eternity because he loved her, she was sure that's where she was heading.

Charity's eyes widened, she shook her head vigorously, "no! Anne no! I know he's up there in heaven, and that's where you'll go too! You shouldn't let them get into your head. Neither of you are going to end up there!".

Anne felt a little better, but the grief still weighed heavily on her heart, "how can he be gone? My poor Phillip, how do I go on? I've forgotten how to live without him" she sniffed.

Charity hesitated, "I wish I had the answers, that's the biggest problem with love, once you find the one you forget how to live alone once they're gone. The only thing that kept me going when Phin left for the tour with Jenny was our girls. If I didn't have them, I'm not sure how I would've survived" she recalled.

"I don't have any daughters to keep me going, what do I do? Our bed feels so sad at night without him lying next to me, I can still smell him in the sheets, in his clothes. His ghost is with me in the room and it just makes me miss him more" she cried, "you have us Anne. Me, Phineas, W.D, all of us are here to help you through it" she patted her hand.

They walked to the kitchen together to make tea, as if that would fix all their problems. Charity poured Anne a cup, "they don't talk about it, they just keep on pretending everything's fine" Anne cried in exasperation.

Charity sipped at her tea as she pondered upon this, "it's hard on us all Anne. Phillip was a massive part of everyone's life and they're all trying to deal with it, they just don't know how. You've got to give them time, they're all grieving and mourning in their own way" she spoke with such wisdom and knowledge, it never failed to comfort Anne.

She looked down at her tea, for once she wished it was something stronger. Maybe that would help her feel better, "there's not even a funeral, his spirit can never lay at rest. It's just all so sad", Charity perked up, "well, we can have our own memorial for him" she suggested.

The idea lifted Anne's spirits slightly, "I'd like that" she smiled sadly, they began to discuss the details. At least Anne now felt like she was capable of really doing something.


	35. Phillip's New Life Begins

Phillip was recovering quickly, he could dress himself and do simple tasks unaided now.

His door burst open as he was dressing, he pulled his shirt onto his shoulders agonising slowly, it still hurt when he stretched.

His father stood in his doorway, drunk as always. He stank of stale cigarettes, "would it kill you to knock" Phillip grumbled.

His father strode quickly towards him, Phillip stumbled back wishing he'd never said anything.

His father was a big man, he didn't look it. He looked old and lean but he was built of muscle. He could punch through solid wood when he wanted to, and he did. His face was often found in a cruel snarl, one that sent shivers down Phillip's back.

He towered over him by a good 3 inches at least, "I got you a job, don't mess it up like you do everything, you're a pathetic mistake. If you fuck this up-" he threatened.

He hit the wall next to Phillip's head, Phillip flinched hard and stood in front of his father cowering slightly, "I- I won't mess it up, what is it?" Phillip asked in a small voice that made him hate himself.

His father staggered backwards, he was really drunk, "you're going to be an accountant at the international bank on Wall Street. It's a very important high-class job so if you screw up you're dead" he growled.

Wall Street? Only the biggest financial businesses were based on Wall Street, this was a major deal, "yes father, thank you for getting me this opportunity" Phillip said politely.

His father laughed, "well you could never get anything important or notice worthy, you were a playwright before for gods sake, we don't need you embarrassing us further" he said coldly.

He knew he just wanted to get a rise out of him, so he merely nodded, "is there anything else?" He asked impatiently, his father punched him in the nose so hard he collapsed against the wall.

Unfortunately he landed heavily on his bad side, he grabbed his side in pain, "don't you dare give me that tone under my roof you worthless piece of shit" he spoke dangerously calm.

Phillip had heard a crack when his father hit him, he knew his nose was broken. His nose felt sticky and hot, he could taste blood, "my apologies father, please. I didn't mean to" he apologised frantically.

He cleared his throat and tried to ignore the throbbing, "is there anything else I could possibly help you with?" He asked in a friendlier tone.

Phillip's father studied his face, Phillip held the most neutral expression he could muster. He just knew his father was looking for an excuse to beat him, he couldn't give him one.

After a few seconds he hummed satisfied that Phillip wasn't disrespecting him or whatever, "if I think for a second you're trying anything on me, I will take you down, do you understand me boy?" He said, his nose was just centimetres from Phillip's own painful broken one.

Phillip straightened up and stared into his father's cold dead eyes. His whole body was shaking and his mind was screaming in fear but he looked calm and collected on the outside. His father could smell fear, "yes sir" he replied trying to keep his anger out of his voice.

He turned to leave, kicking Phillip's set of drawers over onto the floor first, "pick that up you dandy prat" he called over his shoulder. He slammed the door when he left.

Phillip groaned as he looked at his clothes and belongings now spilt all over the floor. He strained as he attempted to pick up his heavy drawers.

He kicked the thing in frustration when he couldn't pick it up, he stood up once more when he heard a soft knock at the door, "come in" Phillip grunted.

The door opened to reveal Eva, "I heard a commotion and thought I'd check to see if you were alright sir" she said with a courtesy, Phillip rubbed his forehead, "yes I'm fine, that bastard tipped my drawers and I can't pick it up because of my injury" he sighed.

She covered her mouth, "good gosh! What has happened to your nose?" She gasped, he touched his nose then winced, "oh ah it's nothing" he said hurriedly.

She nodded and inspected his fallen drawers, "would you like me to get someone who could help sir?" She asked, Phillip looked away in embarrassment. He was a strong guy yet here he was bested by a stupid piece of furniture.

He inclined his head, "yes, thank you Eva" he muttered, she curtseyed once again before exiting.

She returned a few minutes later with two black slaves from the kitchen. The sight made Phillip angry, since being with Anne she had changed him, before he met her he was never bothered by the fact they had slaves.

He never thought about how slaves had been banned, it was illegal what they were doing but he simply didn't care before. Now he felt ashamed, they were people just like him.

They didn't look at him as he entered the room, they had learnt never to look at a white man, "you need help sir?" One of the two guys asked, "uh yeah, do you think you could possibly help me with my drawers please?" He asked kindly.

They nodded silently and crossed the room to pick it up, he wanted to show them he wasn't like his father, "I'm Phillip, what's your name?" He asked.

They looked at him with confusion, still not looking him in the eye, "my name is Frank sir" one said slowly, "Martin" the other replied, Phillip smiled and offered him his hand, "thank you for the help fellas".

They didn't respond at first, they worried this was just some cruel trick but when Phillip kept his hand there they finally accepted.

Eva stood to the side as she watched, "would you like me to help you clean up your nose Sir?" She asked, Phillip wiped his chin and saw fresh blood on his hands, "that would be great, thank you".

She presented a cloth from her apron and stepped timidly closer to Phillip. He felt a little weird being this close and intimate with another girl but he reminded himself she was just a servant, cleaning his blood.

She dabbed at his face gingerly, he groaned in pain, "I'm sorry sir" she touched his cheek as she mopped up the blood, "it's fine" he grumbled, she cleaned him up as gently as she could.

She stepped away and smiled before looking away, "there we go… Sir" she said shyly, Martin cleared his throat, "back to normal as you requested sir".

Phillip looked quickly towards the two men, "thank you gentlemen that is all" he dismissed them and Eva.

He sat on his bed and sighed, tomorrow his new (old?) life would start again, he would no longer be Phillip Carlyle, the happy ringmaster with a girlfriend and friends that loved him.

No from tomorrow he would be Phillip Carlyle the serious, rich accountant. He didn't want to be _but what choice did he have?_


	36. Anne Goes Funeral Clothes Shopping

It was the day before Phillip's memorial and Anne realised she had no clothes she could wear. She had been trying so hard to hold it together over the past few weeks but this was just the tip of the iceberg.

She sank to the floor and tried not to have a full-scale breakdown, she needed tomorrow to put her restless mind to peace, but she couldn't wear just anything.

She wanted to wear her best clothes, she wanted to look her best for the last thing she could ever do for Phillip. She stared at her few clothes on their rale in dismay, none of these were good enough.

She didn't have any nice clothes, they were all old and worn out, and none of them black.

The door opened behind her, "hey Anne, I knocked did you not hear me?" Lettie asked.

Anne wiped her eyes and turn, "oh, no. Sorry I was just having a bit of a moment" she said airily, Lettie frowned and rushed over to help Anne up.

"What's wrong?" She asked, Anne looked at the clothes rail, "tomorrow is the memorial and I have nothing to wear and I can't deal with this right now, I need to look good, Phillip would-" she rambled hysterically.

Lettie held up her hands, "whoa, hey relax. Calm down, we can go into town and buy you something to wear okay?" She laughed, Anne took a deep breath, "I'm sorry, I'm just really missing Phillip and focussing on the little things is keeping me sane" she breathed.

Lettie hugged her, "Phillip wouldn't care what you wear, you could show up in your performance clothes and he wouldn't mind. Phillip loved you for you" she reassured her.

Anne chuckled to herself, "Phillip would've _loved_ it if I showed up in my performance clothes" she joked.

Her uniform used to do things for him, god knows why but the memory amused her, even now in these circumstances.

Lettie gasped with a shocked smile, "Anne! Did you guys ever…" she asked, Anne turned red, "we were together for a year, what did you think we did?" She asked suddenly feeling embarrassed.

Lettie laughed, "Anne Wheeler! Well I never" she joked.

Anne felt slightly better just talking about Phillip like normal again, "I'll go grab my purse then we can go" she told her friend.

Lettie followed her to the desk, "so the sparkly purple leotard huh?" She asked, Anne sighed and shrugged, "I don't even know" she laughed.

Lettie raised her eyebrow, "did you ever-" she began, Anne held up her hand "stop. Shut up".

They took W.D and Constantine in with them, partly for protection, partly because Anne knew for a fact W.D did not own a singular suit.

They stopped outside a funeral shop, "I guess this is where we need to be" Anne said sadly, "Anne it is okay if this is all too much" Constantine told her.

She shook her head, "I just want to get the best clothes I can afford, I'd want to look nice for Phillip" she looked into the shop window to hide how difficult this was for her.

W.D rubbed her shoulder, "hey I'm proud of you kiddo, and I know Phillip is too, where he may be" he said.

She managed a small smile, they all entered the store and began searching for the right clothes.

Anne settled on a simple black dress and a laced hat that would cover her eyes, perfect she knew she wouldn't get through tomorrow without crying.

The boys found smart black suits that fitted them.

They encountered a problem when they reached the till to pay however.

Behind the cash register stood an elderly white woman, "who died?" She asked, she was reading a book and didn't look up.

Anne felt a little taken aback at her directness, "my boyfriend, he was shot" she said, "oh I'm sorry for your loss dear I'm sure he…" She looked up and saw Anne was black, "went straight to hell for loving a nigger like you" she finished angrily.

Anne looked to the floor as her eyes filled with tears, "how dare you speak to my sister like that" W.D stepped in, she looked at the two of them in disgust, "get the hell out of my shop, I will not serve a blackie" she screamed.

Anne turned and ran leaving the others and clothes. She ran as far as she could go, which was pretty far considering how in shape she was due to trapeze.

When her lungs were burning and she couldn't run any more she leant against a brick wall, "if only you were still here, why'd you have to be a hero you idiot" she cried at the sky.

She paused as if he would reply, "you're so stupid, why did you have to go" she slid down the wall and held her head in her hands as she cried.

If Phillip was there he would wrap his arms around her and tell her not to listen to that old lady.

 _He grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him, "stop it, why are you crying? Because old lady called you black? You are black, and you're beautiful" he said._

 _She sniffled and wrapped her arms around his neck, "you're so stupid, why can't you be here to say this to me in real life?" She buried her face in his shoulder._

 _He laughed that laugh she craved to hear more than anything, "you know what I'm like, I can't help myself. I need to save every person I can" he told her._

 _She pulled away and looked into those blue eyes she wished more than anything she could look at one more time, "I hate you, if you weren't such a good guy you'd be here with me and I'd never need to be at this funeral store"._

 _He smiled and lifted her chin, "it's the problem with falling for a guy with such a good heart right? You know I don't care what you wear, you'll always be beautiful to me" he said._

 _Anne sobbed and wrapped her arms around his shoulders again, "I miss you so damn much, why did you have to leave me? I love you so fucking much you idiot" she cried._

 _She could feel herself returning to reality again, "Stay strong my love. Take your time, I will see you on the other side. Remember your worth, you are beautiful. I love you Anne Wheeler" he said fading away._

Then he was gone, the illusion broken. She was left sitting on the floor alone, feeling miserable.

She heard loud footsteps approaching, it was W.D coming after her, "hey, are you okay Annie?" He asked, he faltered when he saw the state she was in.

Anne wiped her eyes, "how can one old lady be so mean?" She laughed, "forget her, she's probably senile" W.D made a funny face.

Anne laughed, "how are you so good at making me feel better so fast?" She asked, he scrunched up his eyebrows and offered his hand, "I've took care of your sorry ass for 21 years, you learn a thing or two" he winked.

She rolled her eyes and let him help her to her feet, "shut up you loser" she teased.

He grabbed her arms, "I have a very important question" he said seriously, she laughed "go away, you do this every time" she struggled, "are you good? Do I have to kill her?" He asked seriously.

Anne slapped his arm, "I'm sorry to say it D but I think you do" she confirmed with a giggle.

He cracked his knuckles and looked back in the shop's direction, "I knew it, let's go" he grinned.

They walked back together, "you're such a good brother" she said, he shrugged modestly, "I try" he replied, she stood on her tiptoes and placed a kiss on his cheek, "I love you D" she told him.

He pouted jokily, "stop, you'll make me blush" he teased.

They met the others outside the store, "we got you guys the clothes" Lettie said holding up a paper bag, "thank you so much, let me repay you" Anne pulled out her purse.

Constantine pushed it down with his hand, "no need, it's on us" he said, "seriously man? I don't mind we can-" W.D argued but Lettie grinned, "please, it's the least we could do, you're our friends, we've got your backs" she insisted.

They all walked home together, between W.D and Constantine and Lettie's kind offer Anne felt slightly better.


	37. Phillip's Memorial

Anne sat in front of the mirror, she was applying a little light makeup. She wanted to look her was smart enough not to apply any eye makeup, she knew she wouldn't make it through today without crying.

It still didn't feel real to her, it had been about two and a half weeks since he died but she felt like he could come back walking into the circus any day.  
Like she might wake up one morning and see him asleep in bed next to her. Like he will surprise her at the end of the show, on the last song they used to sing together. He would just knee slide across the stage and kiss her like she'd never been kissed before. Today was the day she knew he was dead for sure. Today was the day of his memorial. Today was the day a part of her soul died. When Phillip left this earth he took part of her with him, she would never be the same, not without him.

She felt like she'd entered a raffle and won the biggest and best prize that everyone dreamed about. She'd already won once what were the chances that would ever happen for her again. Phillip was the once in a lifetime love of your life everyone talked about, you only get one shot at true love and her love was taken from her way too soon in life

There was a knock at the door, "h-hello?" Anne asked shakily, "hey Anne, it's Charity, how are you doing?" She asked, Anne took one last look at herself in the mirror, "I think I'm ready".

Charity opened the door and waited in the doorway, "oh Anne, you look stunning" she gasped, Anne smiled sadly, "do you think he would like it?" She asked, Charity nodded her eyes tearing up, "he would love it".

They took each other in their arms for a brief second before walking out to the ring hand in hand.

In the ring they had set up a board with all the few photos of Phillip they could gather pinned to it, P.T stood in front of it dressed in a smart black suit and top hat. He had a make-do podium in front of oddities all sat in black in the stand in front of him. They all looked solemn and teary eyed.

W.D stood when he saw his sister, "you look great sis" he said, she smiled waterily "thank you D, are we ready to begin P.T?" She asked.  
P.T nodded, and Anne took a seat with her friends.

P.T removed his hat respectfully, "Phillip…" he faltered and looked to Anne, "Samuel" Anne said. He nodded, "Phillip Samuel Carlyle was a great friend, lover and leader to us all. His death was much too early, he was only 25 when his life was sadly brought to it's sudden end. See Phillip was an amazing man who made the ultimate sacrifice to save Josephine Willoughby who is here with us all today thanks to Phillip's heroic actions" P.T began.

W.D stroked Anne's hands as she tried not to cry, "Phillip was the kindest man I've ever known, he was like a son to me and Charity and a brother to our girls. He can never be replaced in any of our hearts, we will ensure Phillip Carlyle shall never be forgotten" P.T continued.

Anne looked at the photos of Phillip they had managed to gather, there were a few pictures from news articles. There was also a photo of Phillip standing with all of the oddities, all the Barnum's and Anne of course taken the day they restarted the circus in the tent.

Anne's eyes brimmed with tears as she gazed at the two of them in the photo, Phillip had his arm wrapped around her waist pulling her close to his chest. Anne hugged him hiding her face in neck shyly but the half of her face captured showed a giddy smile on her face.

She remembered that was the first and only photo she had ever had of herself, she felt shy and nervous so Phillip had offered his arms for safety.  
She cried at the sight of that stupid smile she would never see it again, what she would give to hold his face in her hands again or to hug him or just hear his voice again.

P.T's voice broke as he himself tried to hold it together, Charity stood by his side whispering softly to him in comforts, "I remember when I met Phillip-" he pounded his palm against the podium a few times when his voice failed.

He sniffed, "at the time Phillip was just this kid and I had the pleasure to see him-" he voice cracked again. He began to cry but pushed on, "I saw Phillip blossom and grow into the incredible, strong, smart young man. He was my son, blood or not. I loved that boy and because his father was a terrible man he took my Phillip away from us all, he was too young" he sobbed.

Charity took his arm and tried to pull him away but he stayed, "Phillip was the best fucking guy I ever knew. He was 25! He had his whole life ahead of him and that bastard took him from us. He had a girlfriend, Anne. He loved her so goddamn much and now because of that sick bastard he's gone" he screamed punching the podium.

Constantine got to his feet and helped Charity guide P.T away he sat down in the stands and sobbed, W.D looked at Anne, "you don't have to" he said.

Anne shook her head and stood with tears in her eyes, "yes I do".

She made her way to the podium and looked at the inconsolable P.T. She took a deep breath, "Phillip was taken from us too young, there were things he wanted to do, places he wanted to go. I don't know how it would've worked, I'm black, he was white. But I dreamed of marrying him one day. I unfortunately never got the honour to call my amazing beautiful Phillip my husband" she began.

P.T sobbed louder at this, "it's not fair!" He cried, Anne shook her head, "I agree, it's not fair. Two and a half weeks ago one of ours was taken from us, he was much more than our boss. He was my boyfriend, he was your friend, he brought so much to the circus, he never stopped giving. He was the kind of man who would go above and beyond for any one of us here. As he showed by giving up his life so Josephine could live" Anne faltered.

She looked at the photo of Phillip and her, that smile on his face. He looked so happy there, "Phillip Carlyle is a hero! We will never forget him or what he did for her for us all, for if he had not agreed to the deal his father would have come back worse and worse. Despite it being his brother who killed him his father was very capable of murdering his own son and wouldn't hesitate for a second to take any one of us but Phillip cared deeply for every person here today and he gave himself up so we could live and continue doing what we love best as he did too" she preached.

She looked at the photos of Phillip again, "despite his troubled past his year he spent here he often told me was the happiest one of his life. My favourite memory of Phillip is just so typical of him. I had just finished rehearsals and I felt tired and I just wanted to sleep but Phillip was at the Barnum's and after a long day I just needed to see him. I got a carriage there and P.T and Charity let me in and lead me to the girls playroom and there Phillip was with Helen and Caroline and he was playing with them and it was the sweetest moment. He had that stupid grin on his face and then when he saw me standing in the doorway watching the three of them got me and P.T and Charity to join in too. Phillip was so loving and kind. He made everyone around him and I know he'll be missed greatly" she said.

Charles laughed, "he was a great guy" he called, "I remember the first time we talked, he asked me about each and every one of my tattoos, it took a while" Constantine laughed.

Anne sniffed, "Phillip Carlyle was the best man I've ever known, sorry D" she joked, he laughed, "I loved him more than I ever knew I could love anyone. He accepted me for who I was, to most I'm undesirable, or incapable to love but he didn't care about my skin tone. I would die to see him one more time, well I would have to" she laughed, but she felt the emotion build up inside.

She took the photo of them together and studied it. The way he held her close, the twinkle in his cool blue eyes. She wished she could go back to that moment, "I took Phillip for granted. I never imagined a day where he wouldn't be with us anymore. Sure I worried when he ran into the fire, or took that beating for me but I wouldn't let myself think of what would happen if he really died. And now, I'm standing at his memorial and Phillip's really dead…" She trailed off, her teardrops fell upon the photo in her shaking hands.

She shut her eyes for a second and looked up to the sky, "Phillip's dead" she whispered. W.D stood and made his way to her, "come on" he whispered, "Phillip I'm so sorry, it was my fault you got shot. Harvey's shot was intended for. I was the one who was supposed to die but Phillip took the shot for me. And now he's dead. Oh god, Phillip" she broke down.

W.D wrapped his arm around her shaking shoulders, "do you want me to take over?" He asked, his voice shook. Anne looked up to see her brother too was crying.

There were few occasions she'd ever seen him cry in her life, but here he stood with tears crawling down his cheeks, "you're crying" she realised  
He swallowed hard and looked to the heavens, "Carlyle was pretty special to all us, myself included. I never thought I'd meet a man who I trusted to love you as much I did. That kid really grew on me, it's tough to see him gone" he croaked.

Anne smiled, "if only he was here to hear you say it, it would've met a lot to him" she sobbed.

She looked down at the damp photo of Phillip one last pain took over her body and she let the emotion through her, she'd been admittedly unsuccessfully trying to push the hurt away since Phillip had died but for the first time she let herself feel it. If she didn't accept the pain it may never leave.

W.D continued the memorial then Lettie when he couldn't continue. There was not a single person there who didn't cry.

 _She imagined him sitting next to him as she sat alone when W.D spoke, "wow I'm more popular than he thought" he laughed._

 _Anne turned to look at him, "I really wish you were still here" she sniffled, "well if I were still here you wouldn't need to hold me a memorial now would you" he teased._

 _Anne laughed weakly, "how are you dead? I never got to grow old with you, there were so many things I wish I told you. I never got to tell you the truth" she whispered._

 _He smiled and wiped the tears from her cheeks, "it doesn't matter, none of that matters. I treasure the time we did have together, you made me so happy. Now I'm in heaven and I get to watch over you until you join me"._

 _Anne hugged him so hard he fell backwards in his seat, "I'm so sorry, it should've been me. You're so stupid, why did you take the shot?" Her voice was muffled against his chest._

 _He kissed her head and laughed, "you already know. Did you really think I would let you die for anyone let alone me? I love you far too much for that Anne Wheeler. You really do look beautiful" he said._

 _Her heart ached, "I want you to be real more than anything, I miss you" she hugged him hard._

 _He took her hands and pushed her away, "I am real, I'm always going to be in your heart. I'll always be right there when you need me. I love you so much Anne. I need to go, but I'll see you again one day" he promised._

 _She shook her head, "no please, I know you're in my head but don't leave me again. I need you" she begged but he was gone._

She sat on the bench next to her friends but she had never felt so alone.


	38. Phillip's Alive

Phillip had been having a really tough time forgetting about Anne, every time he got upset or started missing her his father or Harvey would always seem to find out.

 _Last night Harvey had burst into his room when Phillip sat on his bed missing her, "are you still moping over that spook?" He laughed._

 _Phillip sat doubled over staring at the floor, hugging himself. "Fuck off" he muttered, Harvey howled with laughter, "how you could love such a freak in the first place is beyond me"._

 _Phillip lifted his head to glare at him, "Anne is not a freak" he defended, "oh how adorable the disgraced outcast defends his little slut" Harvey cooed sarcastically grabbing his heart._

 _Phillip jumped to his feet and shoved Harvey hard, "don't you talk about her like that, she isn't a slut or a spook or a whore" he growled through gritted teeth._

 _Harvey just rolled his eyes, "fine, I'm only doing this because you're my brother. Why don't you and I go down to the bar and pick you up some hot piece of ass?" He suggested with a sly smirk._

 _Phillip looked at him in disgust, "first of all you're too young to drink at bars, second of all I'm good thanks. I don't want some random girl, I want Anne. Besides you don't even care about me, why would you try and help?" He asked._

 _Harvey shrugged, "what the bartender doesn't know can't hurt him, but you're right. I don't care, I'm just tired of hearing your wimpy crying at night. Get over her for gods sake Phillip, it's been three and a half weeks move on" he sniped._

 _Phillip sat back down on his bed, "just get out" he grumbled, Harvey crossed his arms, "not until you stop whimpering over that pathetic excuse for a girl" he insisted, "leave me alone!" Phillip yelled._

Phillip sat at his desk at the bank feeling sorry for himself, he felt too heartsick to concentrate on his work. It bored him anyway, it was just numbers and figures he hated it.

Phillip couldn't stop thinking about how easy it would be for him to just run outside now, hop on a carriage and arrive at the circus in under 15 minutes. But he had his father's men watching him everywhere.

They would stop him before he reached the doors.

But he missed Anne so much it hurt. He thought about her at night, he thought about her at work, he thought about her when he woke up. There were few moments in a day he didn't think about her.

He hated himself every day for taking up that deal with his father, maybe they could have found another way. It was highly improbable but he did regret agreeing to the deal.

If he was struggling this much after not even a month how would he cope for the rest of his life? He would never see Anne again, that thought alone killed him.

He never thought he'd miss her you're in trouble look but he would kill for her to give him that sassy eyebrow raise, hand on hip imma whoop your ass look.

He missed her so much. From her fiery spirit to her pretending to complain when he felt cuddly to the way she looked in the morning.

Her hair was always frizzy and untameable, she looked adorable when she was sleepy. She would look at him and smile when she thought he was asleep and kiss his forehead and interlock her body with his until they were a tangled mess. She somehow managed to smell so good all the time, like vanilla and distinctive Anne-ness.

His heart pulsed painfully in his chest, pining after her again. He'd never experienced anything so painful in his life.

He sighed unhappily and tried to focus on his work but he couldn't stop looking at the door.

She was so close and yet so far, this was torture.

As he watched the door it suddenly opened and in walked P.T, he didn't notice him yet but Phillip's heart stopped as he looked at his old friend.

He fidgeted in his seat, what should he do? He was being watched everywhere but he had to talk to P.T, let him know he's alright.

He watched as P.T walked into the bank his eyes on the floor, one of the bankers approached P.T forcing him to look up as he talked to them.

Suddenly he saw Phillip. His mouth dropped open, his eyes filled with tears, he stared at Phillip in disbelief.

He thought he was dead and here he was sat in a bank looking safe and alive.

P.T ran towards Phillip as fast as he could leaving the banker left behind watching after him in shock but he didn't care.

P.T vaulted over Phillip's desk and hugged him in a bone crushing embrace, "you're alive!" He cried.

Phillip hugged him back, "I'm so glad to see you P" he replied happily, he was aware everyone in the bank was watching them now, including his father's men. He was sure he'd get a hard beating later because of this but he didn't care.

P.T shook as he held Phillip, he was real. He was okay, he was alive. He had never felt so happy, well apart from maybe marrying Charity or the birth of Helen and Caroline. But this moment now was a close third.

He held the younger man for several minutes before he finally released him again, "we all thought you were dead son, we held you a memorial" he cried tears of happiness.

Phillip felt a pang of guilt, "oh god, I'm so sorry, how is Anne doing?" He asked, P.T looked away unsure of how to answer, "please the truth" Phillip requested seeing his hesitation.

P.T looked at his feet, "she's not good Phillip, she's feeling really alone and I think she's depressed. She's no longer so passionate about trapeze, she's been isolating herself and she cries herself to sleep at night" he said truthfully.

Phillip staggered back, sitting down again. He felt so bad, he wished he could do something. He hated to think about how he was the reason Anne was depressed.

P.T grabbed her shoulder, "what happened to your face? Has your father been hurting you?" He asked in concern.

Phillip forgot how bruised and battered up he looked. He had faint bruises littering his entire body but his face was the worst. He now had a very visible bump in his nose where it had been broken several times, he had small cuts and bruises on his cheeks. His eyes were sunken in and had dark rings under his eyes from his sleepless nights thinking about Anne.

Phillip looked around, his father's men were all watching him, listening. He licked his lips nervously, "yes" he whispered.

P.T saw his nervous behaviour, "are you being watched?" He asked lowly, Phillip nodded.

He could see P.T's body tense as he tried to hide his anger, "I see, are you doing okay though? How bad has it been?" He asked quietly, watching the men in the room. He wondered which ones worked for Phillip's father.

Phillip tried for a confident smile but it came out more of a scared looking grimace, "it's not too bad, just a few beatings a day. I can handle myself" he said laxly.

P.T frowned, "a day? Phillip we've got to get you out of there" he gasped, Phillip shook his head vigorously and looked to see if any of the men heard it.

They looked indifferent so he assumed they hadn't, "no you can't, Harvey already tried to kill Anne once. I won't let any of you put your life at risk for mine" he said frantically.

P.T sighed, "what can we do? We can't leave you at that place being beaten by your father like that" he worried.

Phillip forced P.T look at him, "listen P.T, I mean it. Do not do anything stupid, I will not have anyone dying for me, I am 100% serious. I'll be fine, _don't try and save me_ " he ordered.

P.T looked over his shoulder, "I need to go tell Anne you survived, she'll be over the moon, this won't be the last time I see you, but I'll have to be careful" he whispered.

Before Phillip could say anything P.T turned and fled the bank as fast as he could. He ran all the way to the circus not stopping once for breath.

He ran into the ring hoping to find Anne there, when he didn't he finally paused to take a chance to breathe.

He doubled over and sucked in lungfuls of air, "P.T why are you so out of breath?" Lettie asked as she walked into the ring.

He looked up, "where's- Anne- need to- tell her- important" he panted, Lettie frowned, "she's in her room, what's so important?" She asked.

P.T waved her off and jogged to her room trying to relearn how to breathe normally again, he knocked on the door before rushing in excitedly.

Anne was curled up in bed holding one of Phillip's shirts, her eyes were puffy and red. She looked up weakly when she saw P.T, "hey P, now's not really a great time" she croaked, wiping her eyes.

P.T walked towards her so he stood next to the bed an eccentric grin on his face, "no you're going to want to hear this, I have the most amazing news" he said, he bounced on his heels as he looked down at her. He could barely contain his excitement.

Anne sat up slightly, "what is it?" She asked, P.T sat next to her on the bed, "Phillip's not dead" he exploded.

She stared at him in shock, was this some cruel trick? Surely Phillip was dead, she saw him get shot, she saw him bleeding, she saw them drag away as the life drained from his eyes. How could be alive?

"W-what?" She stammered after a few seconds to process what he had said, he nodded his eyes gleaming with joy "he's alive Anne" he said.

She sat up straight and kneeled in front of him, "how can you know for sure?" She asked.

P.T recalled how he had gone to the bank and seen Phillip working there, he left out the part about his father beating him.

Anne raced to the drawers and started pulling out clothes, "I need to see him right away, let's go" she said.

Her heart soared, he was alive. He was safe. She needed to see for herself straight away, she needed to see him again. She hadn't felt this happy in a while, it was as if a thousand pounds had been lifted from her shoulders.

P.T got to his feet too, "Anne no, you can't. He's being watched and specifically told me not to try and save him, he doesn't want us putting ourselves at risk".

Anne turned around quickly, "so you're telling me Phillip is still alive and I can't see him?" She asked irritably, P.T held up his hands, "I know it's a lot to process but-".

She waved a shirt she was holding at him, "yeah it is, my boyfriend is still alive I need to go see him" she insisted.

He backed away slightly, hands still raised, "I know it's exciting but we need to think rationally Anne, I'll see what I can do but you'll need to be patient. But for now just focus on the fact he's okay" he urged.

She sighed and put the shirt back in the drawer, "you're right, I'm so happy he's alive". For the first time in ages she smiled a genuine happy smile.


	39. Anne & Constantine Form a Plan

Anne groaned, "please D" she begged, he held up his hand, "no Anne and that's final, quit bugging me the answer is no" he retorted.

Anne pulled on her brother's arm, "please please please, I need to know where he is" she cried.

He tugged his arm back, "I know you're excited that Phillip's still alive Anne but you still can't be with him, you know it's too dangerous to go there" he insisted.

Anne felt frustrated, she had found out Phillip was still alive and everyone was stopping her from seeing him.

She understood how dangerous it could potentially be and how they were all looking out for her but she honestly didn't care she needed to see Phillip like she needed air to breathe.

She put on her best pouting face, "please W.D, I need to know he's okay" she whined, his face hardened "I'm going to tell you one more time Anne. I will not tell you where he is and do not make me tell you again" he said impatiently.

She growled, "fine, I'll found out some other way", she stormed off in search of Constantine, maybe she could wear him down…

She found him talking to Charles next to where the animals are kept, "Constantine, can I borrow you a sec?" She asked.

He looked up, "sure, I'll be right back Charles" he said, he left him to it and followed Anne to a quiet corner they could talk alone.

He rubbed his hands, "what can I do for you Anne?" He asked, "do you remember where Phillip lives?" She asked.

His eyes narrowed, "yes, why?" He asked slowly, "so you'd know how to get back there?" She asked, "yes why?" He reiterated.

Anne's face lit up, "I need to see Phillip will you take me?" She asked, he laughed "absolutely not" he said quickly.

Anne puffed her cheeks, "why not? I need to see him Constantine" she complained, he lay a hand on her shoulder, "Anne, I am from Russia and in Russia we have a saying Не обрезайте ветку, на которой вы сидите" he said.

She frowned, "what does that mean?" She asked, he thought for a second, "the best translation would be do not hack at the branch you are sitting on. Here you are safe but there you would be in danger, why go there where they may kill you when you are safe here? I know you miss Phillip I do too but don't cut at that branch Anne" he explained.

She threw her head back, "you don't understand, I just need to make sure he's alright, if I don't see for myself I'll never sleep again. Please, come with me and protect me. I can see that he is alive and safe and then I can sleep at night again. Please C, I'm begging you".

He crossed his arms and looked at her sternly, she gave him her best pleading look, "fine, I will take you. But this is the only time we do this yes?" He gave in, she nodded, "yes, thank you so much!" She kissed his cheek.

He gave a side hug and smiled, "we will go tonight, less chance of being caught. And this stays between you and me, I do not need W.D trying to kill me, we shall have enough of that tonight" he joked.

Anne couldn't think about anything else that day, she agreed to help Charles calm the horses, she was naturally good with animals but her head was in the clouds.

She stroked a chestnut coloured horse absentmindedly, "penny for your thoughts?" Charles asked, standing on the fence next to her so they were eye level.

She shook her head and laughed, "oh sorry, I was a million miles away" she replied.

She turned her attention to the horse, she brushed it's mane softly, "come on, I know we haven't always been the closest in the group but we're friends you can talk to me" he said.

She shook her head, "no, thank you. It really is nothing, I'm just tired, I haven't been sleeping so great recently" she revealed.

Charles grinned, "I can help with that" he said with a wink, Anne scrunched up her nose and punched his arm lightly, "shut up shorty" she teased.

He laughed, "hey you know I'm joking, Phillip may not be here anymore but he's my friend. I'd never move in on a friend's girl" he held his hands up.

Anne nodded sarcastically, "wow that's so earnest" she joked, "well is there anything I can do to help?" He asked.

Anne raised her eyebrows, "really? You're being nice? Where's the real Charles?" She laughed, he scowled at her playfully, "I'm not all innuendos and sarcasm" he said simply.

She shot in a questioning look, he shrugged "okay mostly, but not completely, I'm a human too you know" he chuckled.

Anne waited until P.T had gone home and W.D had gone to sleep that night before she snuck out of her room.

She met Constantine in the ring, "okay we need to get a carriage ride to the rich neighbourhood" he whispered, Anne rolled her eyes, "this'll be fun, let's go" she dragged him outside.

She bounced up and down in her seat the entire carriage ride there, the neighbourhood was nothing like she'd ever seen before.

All the mansions looked like palaces to her, they were huge. She felt a little intimidated knowing Phillip lived in a place like this.

She scolded herself eternally, he didn't choose to live in a place like this. And even if he did why should she ever feel nervous around him, he was the love of her life and she trusted him more than anyone.

But the mansions seemed to tower over her and they looked scary in the dark, "are you feeling alright? You look clammy" Constantine noted.

Anne nodded silently, "I'm just feeling nervous is all".

They arrived outside of the large metal gates where a man stood guard, Constantine pulled her away, "maybe we should see if there's a back entrance" he suggested.

Anne eyed up the guard who was watching them apprehensively, "good idea, follow the fence we'll go around the back" she agreed.

She didn't realise just how big the Carlyle estate was, it felt like they were walking for ages before they stopped for a rest.

Constantine surveyed the area, "I don't think there is a back entrance, do you think you can climb over the fence?" He asked.

She raised her eyebrow, "I'm a professional trapeze artist, please. Can I climb the gate" she mocked him, "a simple yes would suffice" he grumbled.

Anne saw a light in one of the rooms, "get down!" She whispered yelled, pushing them both to the floor.

They watched as a figure paced in front of the window lit by the candlelight, "who is that?" Constantine asked.

Anne squinted her eyes, the figure came to the window and looked out, up at the stars. Anne's heart raced, she recognised that face anywhere, "it's Phillip! That must be his room!" She cried happily.

Constantine covered her mouth, "shhh! We still need to be quiet" he reminded her, she spoken a muffled apology through Constantine's hand.

They quickly scaled the fence dropping safely on the other side, they stuck to the shadows as they crept closer to the mansion, "what's the plan?" Constantine asked.

Anne looked up at Phillip's window, "I need to talk to him" she decided, "I'll be quick" she added when she saw the look on Constantine's face.

He threw his hands up, "are you crazy? Do you want to get us killed?" he whispered, "I'll be five minutes at most" she promised.

He sighed, "how are you even going to get up there, that's like three stories up" he observed.

She grinned and spat her hands, "leave that part to me, I've got a plan" she said before running at the wall.


	40. Anne, The Angel At His Window

Phillip loosened his tie as he stumbled into his room exhausted after a long day at work. To say he hated it was an understatement, he made good money but it made him want to rip his hair out.

He lit a candle in his room and leant against the wall, taking the time to close his eyes. He felt so tired, he just wanted to sleep.

He saw a bottle of whiskey lying on his bed, with a note lying next to it " _if you still miss that black girl drink this- Harvey_ " it read.

Phillip picked up the note and read it, he sighed and crumpled the note throwing it across his room.

He was a prick, Phillip picked up the bottle intending to dispose of it but he faltered as he reached the door.

It would be easier to drink to forget, he paced as he thought. What should he do? He wanted to stay strong for Anne but he would never see her again, what was the point?

He stared at the dark liquid inside, it would help… He crumbled, he smiled at the sound as he cracked the lid open. He raised the bottle to his lips but paused.

He thought he heard something outside, he put the bottle on his end table and walked over to the window.

He couldn't see anything so he opened the window and stood there for a second enjoying the evening breeze.

He gazed up at the stars, somewhere not too far away Anne would be under the very same stars, maybe she was looking at them too.

He felt like some sappy romance story cliché. He leaned against the window frame, "oh Anne… I really wish you were here" he sighed.

He walked over to his bookcase and stroked the books until his fingers fell upon the cover of his favourite book.

He was a little embarrassed to admit but it was a love story, Romeo and Juliette.

When he read it as a kid he had no idea he would end up living it. He picked the book up and sat down on the bed with it.

The cover was faded and worn out from the amount of times he had read it. He caressed the book before opening it.

He only got to the second paragraph when he heard another sound coming from his window.

He held his breath and stared at the window for a few seconds but he didn't hear anything else so he turned his attention back to his book.

He read a few more lines when he heard a grunt and a pair of hands appeared on his windowsill. Black hands. Black small, rough yet delicate hands. Hands that he would recognise anywhere.

He lowered his book and watched in shock as Anne's head appeared in his window.

His mouth hung open, it took him a second to process what he was seeing. She pulled her torso up, "hey baby, do you mind giving me a hand?" She laughed casually.

He dropped his book and rushed to help her inside the room, "Anne? What're you doing here?" He asked, she hugged him tight.

He grinned as he held her as close as he possibly could, she smelled so much better than he remembered.

He felt the happiest he thinks he's ever been, "when P.T told me you were alive I just knew I had to see you" she breathed in his scent, she couldn't get enough of him.

Phillip ran his hands through her beautiful curly hair, "god I've missed you so much" he laughed, "I've missed you too, more than you know" she whispered.

He felt his shirt dampen as she cried happy tears, "how did you get up here?" He asked.

She pulled away and showed him her scraped up bloody hands, "I might've climbed" she said sheepishly.

He laughed and stared at her in awe, "you are absolutely crazy" he realised, she looked down but he tipped her chin up gently with his finger, "I love you you psycho" he joked before kissing her.

Oh god kissing her in real life again was so much better than in his head, he melted into the kiss.

Anne's hands hovered either side of him, caught by surprise, before she settled them between his shoulder blades.

He kissed her feverishly, he couldn't get over how it amazing it felt to actually touch her again.

She moaned into the kiss sending electricity down his spine, it felt like their first time all over again.

He slid his hands up her blouse, she pulled reluctantly away, "Constantine's waiting for me" she said breathlessly.

Phillip's shoulders slunk forward but he shook his head trying to get some sense back. Or blood at least, "yeah, you're right. What am I doing, you shouldn't be here, this is dangerous" he panted.

Anne stroked his face, she realised the bruises and the marks at long last. Now she had a good look at him, "what's happened?" She asked in horror.

Phillip pulled away from her touch and walked away from her so she couldn't see, "I fell" he lied.

She walked after him, "where? Into your father's fists?" She asked angrily, he closed his eyes and leaned against his wardrobe.

She spun him around so he faced her, "what has he done to you Phillip?" She asked, he shook his head, "nothing, everything's fine" he said.

His voice shook, he was scared. Scared of his father, scared that he would never escape. But most of all he was scared she would find out the truth and do something stupid.

Her face hardened, "Phillip" she pressed, he looked away, "he's been hurting me" he admitted.

Anne balled her fists and fought the urge to hit something, "that bastard, how often? Where? Why? Are you okay?" She asked.

Phillip forced a smile, "stop, hey don't worry about me. I'm fine" he grabbed her wrist and pulled her close again.

Anne touched him gingerly, "show me" she demanded, Phillip scoffed "really? Anne it's-".

"Now" she ordered, Phillip unbuttoned his shirt slowly and slipped the material off his shoulders.

Anne's face dropped, his body was littered with bruises and cuts. Her eyes hovered over the site he got shot, he had a small bullet shaped dipped but he had healed alright from as far as she could tell.

What worried her the most was how bruised Phillip was, "how often does he hurt you?" She whispered in horror.

He closed his eyes, "a few times a day but honestly it's-" she wrapped her arms around him.

He hated feeling so vulnerable, "how can I leave you alone with that monster?"

He couldn't swallow the rising lump in his throat, "you don't have a choice".

She looked back at the window, "I can't just leave you, come with me" she begged.

He banged his head against the wardrobe, "I wish I could more than anything but my father will come after all of you if I do" Phillip groaned.

Anne looked so sad. He wished he could do anything, "you'd better go, you don't want to keep Constantine waiting" he said reluctantly.

She kissed him one last time, soft and sweet like her, "I love you so much, I promise you we'll figure it out".

He watched miserably as she climbed out the window and disappeared into the night again.

He turned back and looked at the bottle of whiskey, "not tonight old friend" he said to himself.


	41. The Letters

Phillip woke up to a letter being slid under his door, he wasn't quick enough to see who it was.

He picked up the letter and turned it over in his hands, it was addressed to him in pretty cursive letters.

He gripped it tightly as he went to the drawing room in search for a letter opener.

He searched his fathers drawers until he came across a silver opener, he opened it hastily and pulled out the paper inside.

His eyes scanned the words hungrily, they read:

 _Dear Phillip,_

 _I'm sorry I couldn't stay longer last night, I've told P.T everything. We're trying to come up with a plan to get you out of there. I know you don't want us to get hurt but a life without you isn't a life worth living._

 _Our bed feels so lonely without you asleep next to me at night, the show isn't the same without you, we all want you to come home._

 _I know I pretended to complain whenever you cuddled me but now I miss it so much, I'm sorry I took you for granted. I just assumed you would always be here with me, the few weeks I thought you had died were the most painful ones of my life._

 _Please just come home soon baby, I miss you. The amount of times I've said those words I know but I really do._

 _Come home to me soon my love._

 _-Anne_

Phillip reread her words over and over. They brought him an amazing sense of comfort.

What surprised him the most was how beautiful her handwriting was, it was so delicate and aesthetic to look at.

He had never seen her write before, he was ashamed to say he had just assumed her handwriting would be sloppy and poor.

They never talked about it but Phillip knew she was a slave, he didn't know she could write, let alone as beautifully as she did.

He wasn't sure how long he stood there, behind his father's desk rereading the letter over and over but his father was furious when he entered the room to find Phillip standing there.

He staggered in completely genial as normal, "what the hell do you think you're doing behind my desk boy?" He demanded.

Phillip looked up and pocketed the letter, "nothing" he said quickly.

His father crossed the room and grabbed the letter opener out of his hand, "who's sending you letters?" He asked.

Phillip tried to move past him, "nobody it's just bills" he lied, his father grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back, slamming him into the wall.

He groaned in pain, "you don't have bills", his eyes lowered to Phillip's pocket, "what have you got here?" He snatched the letter from Phillip.

Panic spread through Phillip, his adrenaline pumping he launched himself at his father, "no!" He screamed.

He successfully seized the letter once more; his father gave him a look that could turn you to stone "give it to me right this very second" he ordered.

Phillip held it away, "no. I will not let you control me anymore" he said shakily, surprising himself.

His father punched him in the jaw, he put all of his weight behind the punch.

Phillip's face flared with pain, he ducked under his father when he tried to grab the letter.

Holding his jaw in one hand and the letter in the other Phillip raced across the room.

His father tried to follow him but he was too drunk to be as fast as Phillip. Phillip took one last look at Anne's beautiful handwriting before he tore the letter into tiny pieces.

His father growled and charged at him, he pinned Phillip to the wall by his throat, "how dare you disobey me" he yelled, spitting in his face.

Phillip struggled for air, "get- off- of me" he choked, he kicked his father hard in the groin then made a break for it.

He sprinted to his room and pushed everything he could in front of the door in a desperate barricade.

His father pounded on his door demanding to be let in. There was a pause as he ran at the door in an attempt to break it down but with the heavy furniture blocking it up he had no chance.

Phillip turned around and was surprised to see Eva, she held a wicker basket with a white sheet in it.

She looked equally as surprised to see him, "I'm sorry Sir, I was just changing the sheets" she apologised.

Phillip rubbed his sore jaw, "it's alright, don't worry", she looked worriedly at the door, "what ever has happened here?" She asked.

Phillip laughed bitterly, "Anne wrote me a letter, I destroyed it before he could read it and he's angry about it" he replied.

Eva smiled, "would you like me to clean you up again?" She asked, he hadn't realised his lip was bleeding.

He nodded, "this is becoming a regular thing for us isn't it, sir?" She laughed shyly, "there's nicer routines to have" Phillip winced.

As he thought of Anne's letter an idea sparked in his mind, "Eva, I need you to do something for me".

Her eyes lit up, "anything sir" she replied, Phillip raced to grab some paper from his bookcase, "I need you to sneak a letter past my father, find a way to get this to a postman without anyone knowing" he requested.

She looked down, "yes sir". Phillip grinned, "thank you so much, I'm going to get us out of here".

In the following two weeks he and Anne sent each other letters in secret, aided by Eva, the loyal servant.

The letters in order read:

 _Dear Anne,_

 _I suppose there's no point in forbidding you to do anything stupid is there? I love your fiery spirit but for once maybe consider listening, I don't want you to get hurt. If you got hurt I would never forgive myself. However I am aware you're going to come up with some crazy scheme anyway so I just ask you to be careful._

 _Every day I am without you, my love, is torture. I wish nothing more than to take you in my arms and never release you again._

 _My love for you burns as bright as ever, I pine for you with a passion that shall never be extinguished._

 _There are so many things I wish to do with you that I intend fully to act upon if I ever escape the hell that holds me from you._

 _I hope I shall see you soon, but please be rational, don't take any risks. Be careful my dearest._

 _\- Phillip_

 _Dear Phillip,_

 _we have not yet been able to formulate a plan but I promise we will get you out of there as soon as possible._

 _How are you holding out in there? Has your father continued to hurt you?_

 _Helen and Caroline told me to tell you they miss you and want you to come home soon. They don't really understand the situation, they just think you've gone away. I think you're going to be in trouble with them if we don't bring you home soon._

 _I miss you more with every day that passes, I cannot wait for your return. You will return, I will get you out of there, it is just a matter of time. I love you._

 _\- Anne_

 _Dear Anne,_

 _Do not rush your plan, I'm surviving here, it matters not what my father does to me as the thought of seeing you again keeps me going every day. Tell the girls I miss them too and I will be back as soon as I can._

 _Receiving these letters are always the highlight of my day when they arrive, thank you for being such a patient loving girlfriend. You are far beyond what I deserve, thank you for being you. That is the best I could ever ask for, you are more beautiful than all the moon and stars in the night sky._

 _I dream every night of seeing you again, Harvey is approaching, I must go. I will see you soon love._

 _\- Phillip_

 _Dear Phillip,_

 _This might be the last letter I write to you, me and P.T have formed a plan. I cannot tell you what it is or else you will want to stop us. Do not worry, it is mostly safe, I won't get hurt._

 _If all goes well I shall see you soon, I can't concentrate I'm far too excited to see you again. I just want to kiss you over and over._

 _W.D stole the last letter and wishes me to tell you you're a softy with all your romantic anecdotes, I like them._

 _I must go but I will see you very soon, I love you so much._

 _\- Anne_


	42. Phillip is Free

Phillip carried Anne's letter around in his pocket for three days, it had been three days since Anne announced they had a plan in place.

He couldn't think of anything else for the entire three days, every single second he was wondering if Anne and P.T would burst in in some big stupid way.

He imagined a thousand different plans they could have come up with, it could be literally anything.

He imagined Anne and P.T would cancel each other out; P.T was big and dramatic and show bizzy and Anne was so typically Anne, she was just and rational and calm yet totally emotional and insane.

Meaning their plan could be literally anything, that terrified Phillip naturally.

He was surprised he hadn't been fired at the bank yet he was so unfocussed all the time.

He couldn't keep his eyes off the door at the bank and his hand off the pocket he kept Anne's letter in.

The longer he waited the more difficult it got, he wished Anne could've given him something to hold onto. A time frame would've been nice.

He had no idea when her plan was taking place, it could be today or tomorrow or next week or in a month. He hated being kept in the dark.

He constantly contemplated writing her another letter but if the plan was already happening then there would be no point.

The plan could happen any second now, he just had to wait.

He wanted out so bad, he hated living at home. He just wanted to return to the circus, he just wanted to be back with Anne again.

Time felt super weird to him right now too, it moved both insanely fast and painfully slow.

For example working at the bank time seemed to be crawling by yet he didn't realise how late it was.

His work day was finally over, after a long long long day. Which was both a curse and a blessing, he hated his snobby job but he hated his father and brother and just generally the rich upper-class scene.

Phillip bid his boss goodnight before racing to be late home, he couldn't decide if he wanted to go home or not.

He arrived home to hear screaming, this wasn't unusual but Phillip paused to listen, "that boy? You're as bad as him, why the hell did I marry you" he heard his father scream.

It sounded like it was coming from the dining room, he crept along the hallway, "Howard he's our son" Phillip heard his mother say, he could hear she'd been crying.

There was a moment of silence followed by a sharp gasp, "if you disobey me one more time…" Phillip heard his father hiss.

He walked quickly into the room. His father had his mother by the throat, his hand raised to slap her. His mother looked so vulnerable and afraid, her face stained with tears.

Phillip swallowed his own fear and grabbed his father's raised hand pulling him hard away, "don't you touch her" Phillip yelled.

His father did release his mother but unfortunately for him he turned on him instead, "did you just tell me what to do with my wife?" He growled.

Phillip gulped and put on a brave face, "yes I just told you to stop abusing my mom" he fought.

His father grabbed him by the collar, "that's it" he roared, he punched Phillip in the gut and went to punch him again when Phillip's mother stopped him.

She grabbed his fist, "boys! Please. The servants are going to serve dinner any second now can you just stop for a second? Is it too much to ask for one nice meal?" She pleaded.

Phillip watched his father, he inhaled deeply, "fine, but one more crack out of you and-" he threatened. Phillip's mother pulled him away, "Howard" she urged.

Dinner was tense and unpleasant as per usual, "where's Harvey?" Phillip asked, although he didn't particularly care.

His mother smiled as sweetly as she could muster, "he's at the bar dear" she wanted to be this perfect family so bad he didn't understand why.

Phillip scoffed, "he's 18, he shouldn't be out drinking" he said disapproving, "oh shut up you drank from the age of 10" his father shot.

Phillip clenched his fists, "you forced me to" he argued, "because real men drink whiskey. Is it my fault if despite my efforts I raised a weak pathetic shrew?" He banged his fist on the table.

Phillip shot daggers at him, "I don't want to be an alcoholic anymore, I'm trying to live a better life if that makes me weak then sure I'm weak" he said as calmly as he could.

Phillip's father laughed as he took a bite of expensive steak, "you are weak. You always have been, always will. I hate you so much, how I can raise a son to be so-" he spat before he stopped.

He grabbed at his throat making an odd sound like a breathy gargle, "Howard?" Phillip's mother asked.

His father stood up and began pummelling himself in the stomach, "Phillip- help" he gasped.

Phillip watched in shock, "he's choking do something!" His mother cried, Phillip stayed sat as he watched his father beginning to turn red.

He clawed at his throat, his eyes pleading with Phillips, "son- please" he wheezed.

Phillip felt conflict, he should help his father. Phillip was a good man with an instinct to save everyone but after all the years of negligence and abuse?

Phillip stood surveying his father coldly, "I'm sorry father but I have a black nigger whore to go home to, and who's to stop me?" He said.

His father's eyes widened and his head hit the table, _was he dead?_ Holy shit.

Phillip's mother shrieked, "Howard?" She repeated hysterically shaking her husband.

He didn't move, his cold cruel eyes stared unseeingly at Phillip.

They both felt horrible but a sense of relief washed over them both in that moment, "Phillip go, go home to Anne" his mother said.

He stared at her unsure how to feel, she had been unloving and had too neglected him over the years but she had her moments, like these where she showed she may have cared.

Phillip nodded, "I will but why do you care? You never loved me" he said, finally voicing what he'd been too afraid to for years now.

She stood shakily, "I'm sorry I haven't been the best mother I could've been, I know it might not seem it but I've always loved you, Howard. He had a very different approach and that probably influenced me, I'm truly sorry you believe I didn't love you. I did, I do. Now go, go home to that girl" she urged.

That was all Phillip needed to hear.

He ran out the mansion and through the gates as if his life depended on it, he was finally free.

He would no longer need to worry, for the first time in his life he was free.

He considered what his mother had said all the way home in the carriage ride that couldn't have been short enough.

 _Did she really love him?_ She was either caring like she was that night or cold and unforgiving. He'd lived his life thinking she hated him, that she only pretended to care for the publicity.

But they were alone, _why would she pretend then?_

All he knew was he stood outside the circus, he was home again and an unknowing Anne waited for him inside.


	43. Reunited Again

Phillip stood outside the circus just staring up at the tent, he had imagined this moment for just over a month now.

He could hear the show inside. He could hear P.T singing inside. He could hear the oddities dancing inside. He could hear the audience cheering inside.

There was one thing his mind was on however, one girl in particular. One special beautiful girl. His special beautiful girl.

Phillip wasn't sure how long he stood in front of the circus but he could hear Anne begin to sing, it was nearly the end of the show.

He walked inside slowly inside and was overwhelmed with joy. He had the perfect view of the oddities in the ring through the stands, they were all singing and he realised how much he'd missed this.

He took a few more steps forward, he could now see Anne. His heart exploded, she couldn't see him as Phillip hid in the shadows but she was right there.

Only a few metres away, she looked so beautiful. She wore her performance smile, her eyes dazzling in the light. He could see the light layer of glitter she wore sparkling and for some reason it just made her all that more attractive in the moment.

Her chest heaved as she held her last position, her arms held gracefully above her head. Her pink wig hid her beautiful brown curls Phillip wanted so badly to run his hands through.

She didn't realise yet how happy she was about to become.

P.T closed the show as usual telling the audience to have a safe journey home and to come back soon.

The oddities walked out of the ring same as always but when they saw Phillip they stopped.

They all stared at him in disbelief, nobody spoke. Anne still hadn't seen him yet, she pushed through them, "what's all the commotion abou-" she stopped in her tracks as she reached the front.

Her eyes lit up, an ecstatic smile grew across her face, "Phillip!" She squealed in a very un-Anne way.

She raced to him before she launched herself at him. She practically jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist and kissing him passionately.

He smiled against her lips and undid the wig as they kissed, her hair cascaded down her shoulders freely then he held her against him.

The oddities all cheered and applauded and screamed for their friend's return. P.T cheered the loudest, "good to have you home son" he beamed.

But they died down when Anne and Phillip didn't break away from each other.

Anne was acting very un-Anne-ly but she wrapped her arms around the shoulder and only deepened the kiss.

There were a few awkward coughs as they watched unsure whether to leave or wait or what. Anne made out with Phillip hungrily in front of all their friend's not to mention her brother.

Charles stepped forward, "uhh buddy?" He asked, Phillip ignored them. His mind only focussed on how intoxicatingly good this felt.

Lettie laughed, "okay Anne let the poor guy go" she joked, Anne began adjusted her hips against Phillip, moaning slightly into the kiss "hey right okay _stop_. That is my sister, I do _not_ need to see or hear this" W.D said firmly.

This was finally enough to spark a reaction, Anne untangled her body from Phillip's and stepped away from him again.

They were both now out of breath with stupid grins on their faces and Phillip didn't even care about the _I'm going to kill you_ look both W.D and Constantine was giving him.

Nor the _go Phillip_ look Charles and Lettie were giving him, he just felt so happy.

He straightened up his jacket and readjusted his collar, clearing his throat, "sorry about that uh… Hi?" He laughed awkwardly.

P.T spread his arms and the two men bear hugged, "welcome home Phil" P.T grinned, "thank you P, it's good to be back" he looked around the circus.

He turned to Lettie next, "come here you" he said, Lettie embraced him tightly before slapping his arm.

He shook Charles' and W.D's hands, he hugged Constantine and then received a lot more hugs from the others. It was a little tricky with Oliver but he managed.

They all looked at him expectantly, he realised they were waiting for him to say something, "having spent a month away from this place, in a living hell I realised just how much I've missed my family here. This is my real home and I could never be apart for so long again. I'm sorry for the trouble I put you all through but it's over, my father is dead and I am never leaving here again" he announced.

P.T coughed, "he's dead?" He asked, Phillip nodded, "he choked when eating tonight and I took the opportunity to run. He won't bother us anymore" he said.

Everyone applauded, Anne took his hand, "well what're you going to do now? We should celebrate your return" Lettie cried.

Everyone agreed, "honestly I'm really tired, I've had a long day I just want to get some sleep" Phillip said wearily.

He saw Anne's face fall slightly, "yeah that seems best, don't get me wrong Carlyle I'm glad you're home. But I don't like the look you're giving Anne right now, this whole situation is gross, just go to your room" W.D grimaced.

Anne dropped Phillip's hand and kissed W.D's cheek, "thank you" she grinned before dragging Phillip to their room.

Phillip shut the door quickly and pushed Anne up against it, "I've missed you so much" he said holding her hips

Anne pushed him back slightly and looked at him lustfully, "shut up and kiss me, it's been way too long and I've missed your touch" she leapt into his arms again so they were in the same position as before only this time he had her pinned against the door.

She ripped off his jacket hastily as she wrapped her legs around his waist once again, he kissed her hungrily the kiss becoming heated extremely quickly.

Anne moaned into the kiss as Phillip felt a rush of excitement hitting him, he began to grind against Anne, pushing her harder against the door.

Anne's actions became more desperate, her fingers fumbled the buttons on his shirt, she broke the kiss and looked down at the cursed things stopping her from being able to undress Phillip.

She growled in frustration and just tore the shirt open instead, sending buttons flying everywhere, "I'll fix that later, right now I need you" she panted.

She lay one hand on his now bare chest, the other she used to grab his neck, she kissed the skin roughly.

Phillip moaned lowly and bucked his hips against her, Anne breathed heavily against his neck, "bed now" she commanded.

Phillip didn't have to be told twice, he missed her so much. He would be lying if he said he hadn't thought about this exact moment when he was gone.

It had been a while since he'd been this intimate with Anne and she was driving him crazy right now, he needed her so bad the ache in his pants almost hurt.

He carried her over to the bed then dropped her gently before grabbing her chest and kissing her ear.

Anne moaned in response sending Phillip over the edge, he pulled her up against him slightly so he could undo the purple leotard, sliding it down her body.

There was something about her costume that really did it for him, it didn't cover a lot and left little to the imagination.

She just looked so sexy with her curvy hips, long slender legs, her delicate figure, her small perky breasts.

She didn't even realise how damn good she looked. Phillip had helped her with her confidence massively since they had met but he knew deep down she still thought very little of herself.

She was oblivious to how she could simply swivel her hips and he would want to take her there.

Anne waited impatiently as Phillip took in the sight of her unclothed again, the look in his eye made her want to do bad things. He had a powerful, sex-starved look in his eye as he gazed at her exposed body.

She wanted him to just touch her but having not seen him like for several months she understood the excitement, the want to just take it all in.

That being said the burning inside was unbearable, she grinded her hips against his earning her a small pleasure, "Phillip…" she whimpered.

Phillip's eyes slowly moved from her chest to her face. She looked so aroused, so longing. He knew what she wanted but he didn't want to rush, he wanted to savour every second.

He took her waist in his hand and laid a gentle kiss on her stomach, "patience my love, I've imagined this moment over and over for so long, I'm going to enjoy it".

He held her waist down with both of his hands, pinning her down to the bed so she couldn't move and trailed kisses down her torso.

She groaned, "Phillip, I swear to god…" she murmured, he smirked, "I want you to beg" he sucked the skin above her hip.

She scoffed but trailed off as a moan, "I- I'm not begging", Phillip tightened his grip, "guess you'll just have to wait then" he left small bites as he moved down slowly.

She whined, craving his touch. She lost control when he coaxed her legs open and began to kiss down from her knee.

She squirmed under his grip, bucking her hips desperately, "I can't- please. Just touch me, it's been so long" she whined.

Phillip dipped his head between her legs, only for a moment. Teasingly leaving a kiss on her inner thigh then ducking back up and kissing her hip.

She struggled against his grip but he held her down, "if you wait now, it'll be all the more worth it" he whispered.

She threw her head back, and closed her eyes, "please baby" she pleaded, this satisfied Phillip enough.

He grinned with anticipation before lowering his head again and taking her in his mouth, the gasp he got in return shot electricity through his skin.

His hairs stood on end as he was covered with goose bumps, he went to work enthusiastically.

He licked at her core whilst he held her shaking hips down, steadying her. Her hands pulled at his hair and urged him to go further.

Her cries rang out continuously as Phillip found his rhythm.

Anne shoved a pillow onto her face, muffling her moans as she neared her climax. She couldn't hold back after so long and the last thing she wanted was for someone to hear and interrupt them.

Phillip sensed her end approaching, he smirked and picked up speed, "oh my god, shit" Anne cursed.

Her body tensed and her back arched as the pleasure took over her body, she screamed into the pillow.

Phillip released her hips and moved back up as she lay under him recovering from the overwhelming experience.

He removed the pillow and smiled at her content face. Her eyes still closed, her lips parted slightly, her eyebrows slighted.

He kissed her softly, "better?" He asked, she watched him through half-lidded eyes and nodded, "you've gotten better" she noted.

He smirked confidently, "you've gotten hotter" he said coolly. She sat up pulling Phillip with her, "then you'll love what I'm going to do next" she purred.

She reached down and purposefully grazed her hand against him as she began undoing the slacks.

He kicked the material off leaving him in his boxers, Anne kept eye contact as she stroked him lazily.

Phillip's arms positioned either side of her, trembled. His fortitude crumbled away instantly.

She watched the aroused boy bite his lip, she noticed how his breathing had stopped, how arms could barely hold him any longer.

She had him right where she wanted him, "oh how you do things to me" she purred, she pulled him down and flipped over so he now lay on the bottom and her topping.

Phillip chuckled, "do I? How so?" He uttered. She smiled alluringly and removed his last item of clothing so like her he was completely exposed.

She barely brushed his beardsplitter but he lurched forward, "you make me want to do things to you".

Phillip tried to reach out but she took his wrists and tutted, "you teased me, I'm going to tease you" she winked.

Everyone had this idea that Anne would be unaware of this sort of nature, that she'd be innocent and reserved but she was quite the opposite.

She had a taste for sex and she was very lust driven. She knew exactly what she was doing and loved doing it.

She could never imagine being alone with another man besides from W.D last year, she was so quiet and shy.

Now she lay with her boyfriend, naked, torturing him slowly. She had come so far, she had changed so much.

Phillip once again tried to reach out but Anne was strong, she forced his wrists against the bed, "patience my love" she teased him.

He glowered at her but conformed, Anne gave him an angelic smile.

She kneeled between his legs and ran her hand down her flat, toned stomach. He had the faintest outline of a six-pack beginning to form.

She hovered at his V-line and inched her hand downwards still ever so painfully slow.

Phillip tugged at his hair in angst as he waited fervently, "Anne it's been at least 4 months if you don't touch me I'm going to explode" he warned breathlessly.

She cupped his testicles, "wouldn't that be a shame" she replied carelessly, Phillip slumped against the bed, "forget the foreplay, I can't take this" he growled.

He didn't give Anne the time to react, he pulled her onto him and shifted so she fell against the bed.

He pushed his hips between her legs, readying himself before he thrusted deep into her.

She bit his shoulder to muffle her yelp, "I'm in charge here" he reminded her lowly, she nodded against his neck.

His dominance urging her on further, "y-yes Phillip" she replied obediently.

He pushed in and out forcefully, taking full control of her body. After so long it felt so good, he grunted as he picked up a rhythm.

Anne clawed at his back, pulling him deeper, "I've- missed this- so- ugh… Fucking- much" she whimpered.

Her breath shook with every thrust, "we are never waiting this long again" Phillip agreed.

He ploughed deep inside of her, she sank harder against the bed, the weight of him on top of her plus the momentum forced her down into the mattress,

Anne grabbed at the sheets, "f-fuck, it feels s-so-o good", she kissed Phillip's neck to muffle her increasingly loudening moans.

Phillip thrusted harder at the sensation, she nipped at the skin and left dark maroon marks trailing down to his collarbones.

Phillip felt himself nearing orgasm, he sped up his pace, "Ah Anne, I'm close", she grabbed at his ass, "hold on for me, just a while longer" she pleaded.

She bucked her hips and humped him erratically, determined to finish with him. She opened her eyes and watched the concentrated look on his face.

He willed with all of his energy to keep it in, to keep going, she could see he was struggling.

She stroked herself as he fucked her harder, "it's okay, let go baby" she said, relief displayed across his face, he buried his head in her chest and thrust a few more times.

She felt him explode inside of her, he kept going weakly in an attempt to finish her off, she felt it build inside of her too, "please don't stop" she begged.

He kissed her chest, summoning the energy to bring her to her blissful end.

Phillip finally came to a halt, he could feel the sweat forming on his skin. He lay gathering his breath again.

Anne nudged him so she could lie next to Phillip, she too needed to regain oxygen.

They both felt exhausted but it wasn't enough, she wanted more, "round 2?" She asked.

Phillip raised his eyebrow and looked at her, "give me a second" he laughed.

She got an idea, she slid her hand down his chest again, grabbing his face and whispering something in his ear.

His eyes lit up and he crashed his lips against hers, ravishing her savagely, "you're on" he growled against her lips.


	44. Lettie Walks In On Phillip & Anne

For the next three days it was nothing but an endless cycle of hot sweaty sex until they couldn't go any longer.

The only time they emerged from the room was to eat or to perform in the show in the evening.

Everyone speculated on what they were doing in there the whole time but they were left to be.

Anne and Phillip were desperately trying to make up for lost time, although neither of them were complaining.

On the fourth morning of Phillip's return Helen and Caroline were feeling fed up.

They tugged on their father's hand, "daddy when can we see Phillip again?" Helen whined.

P.T looked towards their room and chuckled, "I don't think now's such a great time, Anne and Phillip need alone time" he ruffled her hair.

Caroline pouted, "you said that yesterday" she complained, "and the day before" Helen added.

P.T kneeled down in front of them, "Phillip and Anne are in love and sometimes when two adults are in love they need special alone time, especially if they've been apart for as long as they've been. You'll understand when you're older" he explained.

W.D scoffed, "Phillip and Anne are _not_ having special alone time" he laughed, Charles gave him a look, "they've been in there for three days, are you sure about that?" He asked.

W.D looked at everyone who were all giving him a sympathetic look, "I know my sister. They are _not_ having special alone time" he insisted, Constantine patted his knee, "alright, we're just saying you might not know her as well as you think".

He stood up, "they're _not_ having special alone time" he said grumpily, "see daddy! So can we see him yet?" Helen asked.

P.T looked at Lettie, "how about aunt Lettie goes to get him and if he's not busy then you can see him" he said.

Lettie stood up, "good idea" she laughed giving P.T a wary expression.

She walked over to Phillip and Anne's room, she considered if she should knock or mess with them a little, she knew what was going down inside.

Whenever they emerged from their room for food their clothes were clearly put on in a hurry. Phillip's hair stuck up with random cowlicks all over and Anne's hair wild and untameable.

It wasn't difficult to put two and two together, especially considering Anne had confined in Lettie that she and Phillip had slept together.

She heard Anne's muffled voice from inside, "oh Phillip" Anne moaned. This is when Lettie decided she wouldn't knock, instead she'd screw with the two of them.

She loved how easily flustered Anne was, _this would be fun._

She opened the door and walked in silently, Anne was in bed under the covers, she was naked as Lettie had expected her to be with the duvet pulled up to cover her naked dignity.

Her head was leant back with her eyes closed, lips parted slightly. She looked sweaty and out of breath, her hair was messy and dishevelled but Phillip was nowhere to be seen.

There was, however, a large long lump under the duvet. Lettie bit back a smirk and a sly comment.

She decided she would go with it, "oh Anne, where's Phillip?" She asked convincingly.

Anne's eyes shot open, she looked mortified as she looked at Lettie. She tried to play it off as surprise, she hoped Lettie bought it.

The truth was Phillip was under the covers performing oral on her. He lay still and flat when he heard Lettie speak.

"Oh Lettie! I uh didn't hear you come in" Anne said nervously, she glanced down at between her legs where Phillip's head stayed.

She looked quickly back up at Lettie, "Phillip's just-" She began, Phillip silently continued to go down on her, her eye's widened and her breath caught in her throat.

She bit back a moan, "Ph- Phillip's just in the uhhh- he's j-just using the lavatory" Anne stammered trying to keep the moan out of her shaky voice.

She didn't do a great job but Lettie seemed convinced, "I see, are you alright? You look sweaty" she observed.

Anne swallowed and forced her eyes to stay open, pleasure coursed through her body. She'd kill Phillip as soon as she'd gotten rid of Lettie, "y-yes. I'm fine, I just uhhh f- ha- had a nightmare. I ju-st woke up".

That wasn't entirely untrue, she had woken up not too long ago,

 _She felt Phillip's lips on her cheek, her eyes open groggily. He smiled at her, "good morning love" he said, she smiled sleepily, "morning" she yawned._

 _He kissed her cheek again and draped one arm over her torso, "I had a really good dream" he mumbled against her skin before kissing down her cheek to her jaw._

 _She closed her eyes again, "what was that then?" She asked, he kissed her neck and slid his hand upwards, "I can show you". He took her breast in his hand and began to softly massage her nipple in his fingers._

 _She laughed, "this is a nice way to wake up" she joked, her breath caught when he nipped her ear._

 _He kissed down to her chest, "hm, I'm glad you think so" he moved so he lay between her legs, he took her breast in his mouth and moved his hand down to her core._

 _She hissed in delight, "oh wow" she breathed, he slipped his fingers inside of her._

 _She had to cover her mouth to stop her screaming out, "don't hold back" Phillip said with a smirk, "fuck off" she tried to sound intimidating and confident but it came out more of a whisper. Her voice dripping with pleasure._

 _He stopped moving his fingers, "want me to stop?" He asked, she shook her head, "please don't" she groaned._

 _He stopped as she was on the brink of orgasm achieving a frustrated whimper from Anne, he disappeared beneath the sheets and began licking and sucking instead._

 _She had to bite down hard on her hand to stop herself from screaming his name._

Now here they were, him giving her oral sex whilst she pretended to be perfectly innocent, attempting to hold a casual conversation with her best friend.

Lettie crossed her arms, "uh huh, I see, you seem awfully jumpy" she observed, Anne grabbed the sheets as Phillip plunged his tongue inside of her, "oh god" she moaned under her breath.

Lettie dug her nails into her hand to stop herself laughing, "is everything okay?" She asked somehow being able to keep a straight face, she started walking towards Anne.

Anne gulped hard and stuck out her hand, "yes! Yes, everything's- great. I'm just… Thi-thinking about my nightmare" she yelped.

Lettie nodded, "I see, well I'll leave you to it then, hurry up though the girls want to see Phillip" she said walking back to the door.

Anne wiped her forehead in relief, "I'll let him know" she nodded, shutting her eyes again as Phillip found a particularly good spot.

Lettie spun on her heel, "by the way Carlyle, you're fooling no one. How you doing?" She said with a smirk.

Anne clenched her jaw, turning bright red. Phillip stuck his arm out from under the duvet and thumbsed up.

Lettie laughed, "need me to give you guys 5 minutes?" She asked.

Phillip emerged shirtless from the duvet, his hair stuck up everywhere, he wiped his mouth.

He held his chest in mock offence, "hey what do you take me for? I'll need at least 8" he joked.

Anne held her head in her hands, "Lettie please get out" she said in embarrassment.

Lettie winked, "have fun Annie" she teased, Anne threw her pillow at her. She finally left.

W.D looked at her when she returned, "see I told you they weren't having special alone time" he said.

She raised her eyebrows, "she'll be out in 10 minutes, take from what you will" she said smugly.

Anne slapped Phillip lightly as soon as Lettie left, "you're a dick" she grumbled, Phillip grinned back in response, "what? I didn't do anything" he said innocently.

She glared at him, "you- you did that… Thing with your tongue" she stammered, he smirked, "I thought I'd try something new, thoughts?"

She slapped him again, "now make love to me before she comes back" she ordered, he grinned and kissed her.


	45. WD & Anne Have An Argument

Phillip and Anne walked out of their room hand in hand, Anne shot W.D a smile as he glared at the two, arms crossed and a grumpy expression plastered on his face.

Phillip dropped Anne's hand and rushed over to the Barnum girls who ran at him, they jumped and he picked them both up.

He held one in each arm and spun the giggling girls around, "how are my two favourite girls?" He asked, Anne cleared her throat playfully, "apart from Anne of course" Phillip said with a cheeky wink.

The girls clung to Phillip, their shrieks filling the circus, "where have you been? We missed you!" Caroline cried,

Phillip put the two girls down and knelt in front of them, "I have been very busy doing important adult things but now I am back and I'm never leaving again" he said booping both of their noses.

Helen bounced up and down excitedly, "Phillip come play with us!", Phillip offered them his hands, "sure let's go" he said.

He winked at Anne over his shoulder as they dragged him away to the ring.

W.D stormed over to Anne, "Annabelle Elizabeth Wheeler I need a word with you" he said angrily.

Anne's stomach dropped, he full named her, he only full named her when he was really really mad.

He pulled her aside out of ear shot from everyone else, "yes?" Anne asked forcing a smile on her face. She hoped she didn't look as nervous as she felt.

He glared at Phillip his fists clenched, "what is this I hear about you…" He growled, he looked at Anne and lowered his voice to a harsh whisper, "having sex?" He demanded.

Anne looked at him in disbelief, she felt her face burning painfully hot. She couldn't believe he was actually talking to her about this, "what?" She sputtered.

He raised his fist to his mouth, "P.T told the girls you and Phillip were having special alone time" he said, Anne grabbed her forehead, "I can't believe this" she groaned.

"So it's true?" He pressed, "D" Anne said feeling embarrassed, "is it true?" He repeated.

She threw her hands up, "yes, why does it matter to you? It's literally none of your business!" She argued.

He laughed sarcastically, "none of my business? You are my baby sister you are too young to be having sex" he bit back, Anne frowned, "I am 21 years old. Like it or not I'm not your baby sister anymore W.D, I am a responsible adult who is perfectly capable to make her own decisions".

He pointed his finger at her, "listen here young lady, I am your brother and you will do as I say. I forbid you from ever having sex again" he growled.

Anne slapped his hand away, "W.D stop. Take a look at yourself. You are being completely unreasonable, I am nobody's property, you do not own me and I will do whatever I want" she walked away leaving him feeling annoyed.

She walked back over to Lettie, "what the hell?" She asked, Lettie pulled her head back in confusion as she looked at Anne, "what?" she replied.

Anne gestured to W.D, "you know what why would you let him find out me and Phillip were sexually active", Lettie looked at W.D who was leaning against the wall his eyes closed as he attempted to calm down.

She turned back to Anne, "how was I supposed to know he wasn't supposed to know?" She asked, Anne held her hands to her face, "really? You didn't think about what would happen if my extremely overprotective big brother found out his baby sister was having sex?" She cried.

Lettie grabbed Anne's arms, "calm down, he has no reason to be mad, you aren't exactly a kid anymore and you've been with Phillip for over a year, he trusts him!" She reasoned, "yes well now W.D is mad at me and we've just had a massive fight" she sighed.

P.T walked over to the two of them, "would it help if I talked to W.D?" He asked, Anne turned to him, "sorry I couldn't help but overhear" he explained.

She pushed the hair out her eyes, "no, it's fine. I'll just let him cool down, maybe we can talk about it rationally when he's feeling calmer" she said feeling unconvinced.

Helen ran over to where the small group was gathered, "will you guys come play with us too?" She asked,

P.T kissed her forehead, "daddy's got some important work to do but if you ask really really nice maybe the others will play" he said.

She turned back to them, "pleeeeease?" She asked, Anne nodded, "of course I will sweetie" she agreed.

Lettie got to her feet and joined the girls, Helen jumped up and down excitedly, "yes!" She screamed, "Constantine?" She asked.

The tattooed man chucked, "if you would like" he too rose to his feet, he looked at Charles, "how about you buddy?" He asked.

Charles looked at them all and laughed, "oh no, no I am good" he waved his hand, Anne put her hand on her hip, "come on, are you really gonna say no to this face?" She asked, she squeezed Helen's adorable chubby cheeks.

He crossed his arms and stared them down, Helen smiled her face still in Anne's hand, he rolled his eyes and grumbled under his breath, "fine you got me, let's go" he hopped off the stands and trudged over to join them.

They follow an energetic Helen Barnum to the ring where Phillip was chasing after Caroline. They both stopped when they saw the others, "yay! Now we can all play!" Caroline skipped happily over.

Lettie bent down so she was eye level with her, "and what should we play?" She asked,

Caroline put her finger to her lips and looked upwards as she thought, Helen whispered something in her ear and she nodded, "yes, what a good idea, let's play hide and seek!" She squeaked.

"I shall count first, you all hide" Constantine said, the girls darted off immediately, Charles very unenthusiastically trudged off to hide, Lettie thought for a second before she ran off too. Phillip grabbed Anne's hand and pulled her away, "come on I have a great spot".

She laughed as her overly excited boyfriend pulled her along, the look on his face was so cute, "you're adorable" she laughed.

He pulled her into the closet they stored props, "follow me" he said, he then ducked under one of the stage blocks that was stacked on the other, there was a small gap he squeezed through.

She looked at it dubiously, "really?", although if he could fit she definitely could, she was smaller and more slender than he was.

She dropped to the floor and squeezed through the small gap, the closet opened up to reveal a clear circle with props all around it.

Phillip sat cross legged on the floor on top of pile of satin ropes and spare fabrics. He grinned up at her and patted the floor next to him.

She giggled and rolled her eyes before joining him, "they'll never find us here" he crowed, Anne rested her head against his shoulder, "how did you know this was here?" She asked.

He tapped his nose, "I know lots of secrets", Anne gave him an amused look, "oh really? Like what?" She asked, "I know your birthday is in a few months" he winked.

She raised her eyebrows in surprise, "how do you know my birthday? I've never told anyone that, anyone but…" the realisation dawned on her, "dammit W.D" she muttered.

He chuckled and moved her hair behind her ear so he could kiss his cheek, "November 17th right?" He smirked, she sighed, "I'm going to kill him".

Phillip patted her thigh, "how come you never told me when your birthday is?" He asked, she rolled her head on her shoulders as she leant back, "ehh my birthday's never really been a big deal for me, I've never actually celebrated it before".

He turned to her, "hold up, you've never celebrated your birthday before?" He asked in shock, she's shook her head, "W.D stole me a cupcake a few times on my birthday, that was cool I guess but other than that, no I've never celebrated my birthday" she said, she saw the sad look on his face.

She held his hand, "hey it's fine, I've never really wanted to. I know we don't talk about it but we both know I was slave, me and W.D were owned by this rich white guy in New Orleans until I was 17, W.D was 21. We worked on a farm and when you're a slave you don't matter. I was nothing, just some white man's property, my mother and W.D were the only ones who knew or cared when I was born. I would've never been allowed to celebrate my birthday for the first 17 years of my life. I didn't matter. By the time me and D escaped I just didn't care about my birthday, it was just a day, I was just another year older, why does that matter? We were homeless on the streets of New York until P.T gave us a home, I was 20 when I met you so that means we'd lived on the streets for 3 years. Birthdays don't matter when you're sleeping rough, you worry more about where your next meal will come from, where you're going to sleep that night, trying to get a job. You know the important things. I asked D not to make a big deal of my 21st birthday because I didn't want everyone knowing, I've never cared about my birthday and I still don't really" she explained.

Phillip felt sad at this, he knew she had a hard upbringing but he never realised just how hard it was. She'd never told him what she just told him then.

He kissed her hand, "I'm sorry you went through all of that", she shrugged, "it's all in the past, I have you now" she smiled.

Still he couldn't believe she'd never celebrated her birthday, he had asked W.D a few months ago when they were building his bed together, he told him Anne wouldn't be happy if he knew but he begged him to tell him.

Anne played with Phillip's fingers, "so, when's your birthday? How come you've never told me huh?" She asked playfully.

Phillip ran a hand through his hair, "January 4th, my birthday has never been great for me. As a kid my mom would try but my father or brother or both would ruin it for me, when I was a teenager…" he stopped himself.

Anne cocked her head, "what?" She asked, he shook his head, "I hate myself for it now but I was such a fool growing up. It was pretty much the same every year… I'd start off alone, get depressed and so I'd hit the bars. From there I would get way too drunk, indulge in foolish drugs, meet some easy girl and wake up in her bed the next morning hating myself".

He turned his head so he wouldn't see Anne's reactions, "I guess neither of us has had a good birthday then" she laughed lightly, he slowly looked back at her, "no, I suppose not".

She saw his hesitant expression, "I know you were a different man before I met you Phillip, but I don't care. None of that matters now, all that matters is who you are today. You're a changed man and I couldn't love you more" she reassured him, she gave him a quick peck.

He kissed her hand, "you're amazing, you know that?", her smile faltered, "I'm really not but I'm glad you think so baby". He looked at her, his face hardened slightly, "you're amazing" he repeated.

They could hear the others begin to search for them, "I told you they wouldn't find us" Phillip bragged, Phillip rolled her eyes once more and laughed.

She remembered her fight with W.D earlier, she should warn Phillip, "hey uh heads up I've had an argument with D, and he's pretty steamed" she said.

Phillip frowned, "what did you argue about?" He implored, she fiddled nervously, "well… Um, you".

Phillip sat up straight, "me? What about me?" He asked, his voice raised as he got more nervously, she stroked his chest soothingly, "he found out that we'd been sleeping together and safe to say he didn't take it well".

Phillip stood up and began to start pacing, "oh no, this isn't good. This isn't good at all. He's going to kill me! Oh god, I'm dead" he muttered under his breath, he ran his hair through his hair repeatedly, messing it up more each time.

Anne rose to her feet too, she stood in Phillip's way and grabbed his hips, "hey, calm down, it's going to be alright" she soothed, he stopped and looked at her, a scared look visible on his face.

She cupped his cheeks, "nobody's killing anyone, I'm a grown woman and I love you, I can make my own decisions" she reassured him, he relaxed slightly but still looked nervous.

"But what if-" he fretted, Anne stroked his cheeks with her thumbs, "everything will be okay" she said softly.

It was about 10 minutes before Phillip and Anne were found, the girls declared them the winner meaning they had to count now.

The couple watched as their friends plus the girls all raced to hide, Anne noticed W.D loitering in the shadows.

She turned to Phillip, "you start to count I'll be right back" she kissed his cheek.

W.D ignored her as she approached him, "ready to apologise yet?" She asked, he looked at her grumpily, "I have nothing to apologise for" he retorted stubbornly.

Anne put her hand on her hip, "how about the fact that you tried to control me as if I was yours to control, I haven't been anyone's property in 4 years and I'm not starting now. I am a free woman, just because you are my older brother does not mean you get to say who I do or don't sleep with" she said angrily.

W.D cringed at the mention of her sleeping with anyone, "you are not to have sex, it is dirty and wrong and gross" he shot, "great, thank you D. Until you're ready to apologise don't even bother speaking to me".

She joined Phillip once again, "everything okay?" He asked, she nodded, "let's go find them then" she said confidently.

Deep down W.D's words had hit her hard, she and Phillip had always been controversial, hell they lived off controversy. It was seen as wrong for a woman to express her sexuality in any way.

Anne had confided in Margaux and Lettie about her activities behind closed doors, she wasn't shy with her wants and needs when she was with Phillip.

But the way W.D described her being sexually active, dirty, wrong and gross. It made Anne feel disgusting and ashamed.

She was after all having sex outside of wedlock, she wasn't married to Phillip, she wasn't even sure if she could ever be.

Was what they were doing wrong? She suddenly felt like the whore she had been described as before, she hated feeling like this but perhaps W.D was right…


	46. The Future Talk

Anne may have seemed fine and happy to everyone else that evening but Phillip knew her too well.

He noticed the tension in her shoulders, he saw the stiffness in her cheeks when she smiled, he observed her thumb subtly scratching her index finger nervously and the way her breathing seemed more constricted than usual.

She noticed Phillip looking at her more than usual, she poured more effort into putting up the happy front but the harder she tried the more Phillip picked up on her small tells that would undoubtedly go unnoticed by anyone else.

Anne was quiet when she undressed for bed that night after the girls got tired and everyone returned to their rooms for the night.

Phillip decided he would test her. He watched as she slipped out of her dress, leaving her in her undergarments.

He swaggered smoothly over and moved her hair to the side and wrapped his arms around her waist. He pressed his body against hers and placed a soft kiss to her bare shoulder.

Usually something like this would prompt some sort of reaction; a low chuckle, a kiss on the cheek, maybe a moan but Anne didn't react.

She simply closed her eyes and rested her hands upon Phillip's, this is not a reaction typical to her.

He decided he would test her further, he hummed and kissed her ear, nibbling softly at her lobe and pulled her closer so his junk moved tightly against her perfect ass.

She breathed through her nose as she smiled and removed his hands from her waist, "I need to get changed Phillip" she said lightly.

He allowed her to escape his grip, he sat on the bed and watched her as she removed the rest of her clothing, replacing them with a shirt of Phillip's and a pair of underwear.

She looked at him over her shoulder and rolled her eyes, "must you watch me like this?" She asked playfully, she grabbed a band and tied her hair up.

He saw past her teasing front, she couldn't fool him. Whenever she teased him her nose crinkled slightly and the corner of her lips lifted marginally. This time however her nose remained creaseless, her lips didn't move but stayed in a perfect straight line.

He reached his arms out for her, she floated towards him and let him wrap his arms around her torso once more.

She relaxed ever so slightly but he could still sense the tension under her skin, he fell back against the bed with her in his arms, taking her with him.

She lay her head against Phillip's shoulder and cuddled up to him, "so when're you going to tell me what's wrong?" Phillip asked.

She dropped her façade immediately. Her body slumped against his and he sighed against his neck, "it's just something W.D said earlier when we were fighting".

He shuffled backwards so they leaned against the pillows, "what did he say?" He asked delicately.

Anne hesitated, "does it ever bother you what we're doing? Living this immoral socially unacceptable life we have?" She asked carefully,

He turned his head so he could look at her, "no, does it bother you?" He asked, she sighed, "I don't know, it's difficult having to consider everything I do. Worrying about the consequences of everything I do".

He lowered his head again, "what do you mean? What did W.D say?" He asked, Anne traced shapes on Phillip's chest, "he said me having sex with you was dirty, wrong and gross, I've been thinking about it ever since".

Phillip was quiet for a few moments, "have you ever thought about our future?" He asked, his question caught off guard, she wasn't expecting him to ask.

Of course she'd thought about their future, she knew what she wanted but she had no idea how any of it would work, but she knew she wanted it.

She stopped tracing the shapes on his chest, she lay still as she thought about how best to answer, "in what way?" She asked.

He worried he'd said the wrong thing, "have you ever thought about how our future looks? What you want, where you see us in 10 years' time, that sort of thing. Have you ever thought about it?" He asked.

She nodded, "I'm not sure realistically how it might map out but I think I know what I want, yes" she said.

Phillip picked up her hand and interlaced their fingers, "what have you thought about?", Anne stroked her thumb across the back of his hand nervously, "well I've considered the thought of marriage, maybe having kids one day" she continued.

Phillip smiled, "have you really?" He asked, Anne felt herself turn red, she felt a bit foolish having said it out loud but she nodded.

"Me too, I really want a daughter one day. If she's anything as beautiful as her mother I'd be a pretty lucky guy" he said causing Anne to blush deeper,

"How would we ever get married?" She asked, he lifted her hand brushing a kiss lightly against her knuckles, "we would find someone who accepted us, who would be willing to marry us and if we cannot we can marry by spirit if not by law".

She hummed, "I'd like that" she replied, "so what is it that's bothering? Is it the race issue?" He asked.

She tilted her head to the side, "yes and no, it's a lot of things, it's difficult" she trailed off, "explain it to me" he urged.

She exhaled as she tried to think of how to put her emotions into words, she'd never been as good with words as Phillip. When he wrote her the letters he was able to think of the most beautiful way to put everything, words had always come easy to him. He always found the right words to match his emotions but Anne just couldn't.

She knew how she felt but she could never think of the words to then express that out loud, "there's so many reasons people don't like us together… I'm black, you're white. You're rich, I'm poor. It's very socially unacceptable to have sex out of wedlock and what if we can never get married then what? Do we just lead a sinful life of unmarried intercourse? What will we do if we have children? What-" She began spiralling.

She felt her anxiety increasing, the blood rushed to her brain. She needed to calm down she took a deep breath.

Phillip cradled her head and stroked her hand, "Anne, it'll be okay, don't stress yourself out, calm down" he hushed her until she felt a little less panicked.

She worried for a second she would have a seizure until he began to calm her again, she took deep breaths and felt better.

"Now to answer your worries, if you want to get married then we will someday. We will raise our children in a loving happy home, that's all that we can do. As for the whole sinful life of unmarried intercourse I suppose if we couldn't get married we'd have two options. Forget what everyone else thinks or stop having sex, do you want to stop having sex?" He asked.

She snorted, "god no" she laughed, "well there you go then! So just relax, everything is going to be alright for us. You can never please everyone and nobody else matters. It's just you and me, against the world" he reassured her.

She laughed, "you and me against the world" she mused, "and as for W.D, don't take his reaction to heart. You're his little sister, not only that but his only sister. You're all he has, he's spent nearly all his life protecting you of course he's not going to like the idea of you having sex. Imagine how weird it would be if he did" Phillip laughed.

"I suppose you're right" she sighed, "I always am" he boasted with a smirk, she turned to look at him, "shut up" she laughed before kissing his cheek.

He grinned and turned his head to kiss her, "feel better?" He asked against her lips, she nodded before kissing him once more.

He moved down the bed so he could lie down. She moved with him, turning to face him so she could wrap herself around his torso.

She yawned, her eyes began to grow heavy, Phillip lifted her chin so he could kiss her, "goodnight".

She smiled, "I love you" she told him before she settled her hair comfortably on his chest and shut her eyes.


	47. Anne Teaches Phillip Trapeze

Anne stood in the ring with Phillip, she was about to begin practice but since she wasn't talking to W.D at the minute Phillip was helping her instead.

She stretched and stood again, "so what do you need me to do?" He asked, she walked over to the stands where her hand wraps were, "uh… Do you know my routine?" She called over her shoulder.

He followed and watched curiously as she wrapped the cloth around her palm and wrist, "of course, I watch you every night" he answered.

She didn't look up but instead focussed on her task at hand, "good, I just need you to watch me practice and tell me if there's anything I need to do better, you can also try thinking up new tricks" she said.

He shrugged, "I can do that, how hard can it be" he said, "thinking of new tricks or doing them?" Anne asked.

Phillip shrugged, "thinking of them but they don't seem that hard to do" he said, Anne scoffed, "yeah right" she laughed.

Phillip looked at her, "what? How hard can it really be? You basically just try not to fall and look good doing it" he said.

Anne stopped wrapping her hands and looked up at him through her eyelashes, "you think it's that easy?" She asked.

He considered it for a moment then nodded, "yeah it's not exactly difficult" he insisted.

Anne put her half-wrapped hand on her hip, "so do you think _you_ can do it then?" She asked.

Phillip looked up at the equipment suspended up above the ring, "yeah probably, I did on that night after I took you to the theatre, I can climb a rope, and I can do a back flip, I'm strong so I could easily hold my own weight".

Anne tutted and shook her head chuckling to herself, she continued wrapping her hands, "first of all, that night after you took me to theatre was _not_ trapeze. The closest thing to trapeze was when you jumped from the balcony and caught the rope but that was child's play, I could do that in my sleep" she laughed.

Phillip crossed his arms, "I don't see how it was much different than what you do with W.D" he argued, she arched her eyebrow, "let's see you jumping 5 feet at most into my arms… Me jumping from a moving swing I hang onto upside down by my feet to W.D who's also on a swing upside down and I have to grab onto his arms about 30 feet from the ground… Hm yeah no you're right, I definitely don't see the difference" said joked tapping her chin thoughtfully.

Phillip huffed, "yeah well you know what? I'm going to prove you wrong, I'm going to show you I can do trapeze stuff".

Anne raised her hands, "okay, just don't do anything dangerous" she walked over to the ropes and lowered the equipment.

Phillip strode over to the ropes confidently, Anne followed a smirk on her face, "alright Carlyle, impress me" she gestured to the equipment.

He rolled his sleeves up and shook out his arms, "I will" he insisted.

He took a run at one of the ropes, leaping and catching it in his hand, he started swinging so it built up momentum.

Once it was swinging from one side of the ring to the other Phillip waited until it was at the highest peak then jumped from it flipping mid air and landing clumsily.

He turned around and gave Anne a smile, "see?" He bragged, Anne crossed her arms and laughed, "is that it?" She asked.

He shot her a grumpy defensive look, "no of course not" he answered quickly, "let's make this a game, can you do…".

She climbed up the rope and jumped to her hoop a couple feet off the ground, she wrapped her feet around the frame and curled around the hoop upside down, "…This?" She asked.

Phillip rolled his shoulders and strutted over, "I've got this" he said coolly, Anne dropped down landing on her hand and doing a cartwheel so she now stood on her feet, "go ahead" she urged waving to the hoop.

He kicked off his shoes and removed his socks so he was now barefoot as Anne was.

He scaled the rope and awkwardly switched ropes to the one that held the hoop. He hung from the rope a few feet above it, he looked at the hoop unsurely, "uhh… Give me a minute to figure this out" he said.

Anne put her hands on her hips, "what's wrong? I thought trapeze was easy" she said accusingly, he scowled at her, "it is, I've just never really used my feet before how do you do this?" He asked.

Anne laughed, "you just grab it like you would with your hands but with your feet. I have full movement of my feet, anything I can do with my hands I can do with my feet" she said.

Phillip stared at the hoop, he concentrated hard and somehow managed to get a grip with his toes, then he looked at Anne, "wait, anything?" He asked, eyebrows raised.

She nodded, "anything" she whispered, "we're coming back to that later, but for now…" He said, he curled around the hoop looking, admittedly a lot less impressive than Anne but he did it, "I can indeed do this" he grinned.

Anne kissed him as he hung upside down, "very nice baby" she smiled. He leaned forward to kiss her again and lost his grip.

He fell into a crumpled heap at her feet, "ow" he groaned. Anne bit her fist to stop herself from laughing.

Phillip glared at her as he rose to his feet rubbing his head, "it's not funny" he sulked, Anne continued to bite her fist as she tried to supress her smile.

She managed to hold a straight face a few seconds later, "no, you're right, are you okay?" She asked, this time she couldn't stop herself. She slapped her leg as she laughed.

He crossed his arms and pouted at her, this only made her laugh harder, "you're mean to me" he grumbled.

Anne wiped the tears from her eyes, "I'm sorry" she laughed, she grabbed his cheeks and squished them so he looked like a fish, "you're so cute when you pout at me" she said in her puppy dog voice.

Phillip pulled his face away, "go away" he laughed.

Anne got an idea, "alright next challenge, can you do this?" She asked, she climbed up to where the swing was.

She swung herself back and forth, right way up this time, she didn't want to do anything too dangerous.

She then jumped to one of the ropes, wrapped the rope around her waist then let her swing freely without holding on.

After that she grabbed the rope and swivelled her hips in one smooth action so she was free again, finally she jumped to the rope with an eye loop.

She held the loop and lowered herself gracefully. There was no way Phillip would be able to do all that but she knew he would try anyway.

Phillip held his arms up, "alright so from the swing to the rope, no hands then that rope?" He asked, "yep go on" she confirmed.

Phillip puffed out his chest and climbed to the swing too.

He managed to gain enough momentum to jump to the rope. He felt the rope burn his hands, he hissed slightly.

Anne stood underneath him, he wasn't too high up but she wanted to be there just in case, "you alright?" She asked.

He laughed as he tried to wrap the rope around his waist as Anne had done, "I don't have the hips for this" he said. On his third try he managed to get the rope around him.

He loosened his grip on the rope experimentally, he swayed and the rope creaked slightly but he didn't fall.

Anne winced slightly at this but he was fine. He swung a few times without his hands then attempted. Emphasis on tempted to look sexy when he untangled himself.

He wiggled his eyebrows and thrust his hips forward in what was supposed to be a seductive way.

Anne laughed, "what are you doing?", he winked, "does this turn you on?" He grinned, she furrowed her eyebrows and stuck out her bottom lip as she nodded, "oh yeah, if we were alone I'd be tearing your clothes off by now" she said sarcastically.

Phillip tilted his head back and laughed as he struggled to free himself, "I think I'm stuck" he laughed, Anne hid her face in her hands as she howled with laughter, "do you need some help my love?" She laughed.

He grabbed the rope harder trying to pull himself up, "I can do this" he took a deep breath and grunted overdramatically as he swung his hips wildly and pulled himself up.

He finally managed to escape the rope, he swung the rope again so he gained some momentum then he jumped to the last rope.

He grabbed the loop and dropped heavily contrasting heavily to Anne's graceful landing.

When he was on the ground again he shook his hands, "ah" he hissed. He looked at his hands to see he had cut the palms of his hands on the rope.

Anne rushed to his side when she saw the blood, "oh god, I forgot you have soft hands" she cradled his hands.

Anne's hands were rough and calloused from years of trapeze, but Phillip had strong yet soft hands. His skin was delicate and flawless.

Phillip pulled his hands away as she inspecting the fresh cuts, "show me your hands I need to bandage them" she said holding out her own hand.

He hesitated, "but it hurts" he moaned, "I'm sorry I forgot to tell you to wrap them before you did anything. My hands are alright, the skin is tough from years of handling ropes, I only wrap them for a safety precaution, I don't really need to. But I should've wrapped your hands, I'm sorry" she apologised.

She fetched the medical supplies from behind the stands, they have a trunk filled with emergency supplies there.

With the circus as dangerous as it is it's best to have it all on hand.

She came back with some antiseptic and bandages, "no, stay away from me that is going to really hurt" he backed away.

She followed him, "Phillip, let me fix your hands" she said, she tried to grab his arm but he dodged her grip.

He shook his head holding his arms out to stop her, "they're fine, really" he lied.

She crossed her arms, "Phillip stop being ridiculous come here", he hunched his shoulders as he reluctantly crept forward.

She held out her hand, "come here then" she prompted, he sighed and slowly held out his hands.

He looked away as she wiped away the blood and doused his hands in antiseptic, "ow!" He yelped.

He tried to pull his hands away but Anne held them firmly, "well you're the one who insisted you could do trapeze" she chimed.

Phillip gave her a look, "I'm not done yet, I'm going to prove to you I can do trapeze" he insisted.

Anne huffed at him, "so far you've fallen face first from the ring and now cut your palms open" she pointed out.

He gritted his teeth as she bandaged his hands tightly, "I can do it!", Anne laughed, "why are you so stubborn?" She asked.

Phillip took his hands back when she'd finished bandaging them, "excuse me? You're _way_ more stubborn than I am" he shot back.

She raised her shoulder, "you've got me there". He raised his hand to her, she rolled her eyes and placed a kiss to each palm.

Phillip shook his shoulders, "come on what's next?" He asked.

Anne looked around the ring then it hit her, "follow me" she lead him to the ladder.

They stood on the edge of the platform at the very top at the top of the tent. They were probably 50 feet above the ground.

Phillip turned to Anne, "what are we doing up here?" He asked, Anne grinned, "do you remember the part of my routine where I jump from way up here into the oddities arms down below, you know when the audience think W.D didn't catch me in time?" She asked.

He looked at her nervously, "oh no…" he cursed, she rubbed her hands together an evil smile on her face, "oh yes. You really want to prove you can do trapeze?" She asked.

He glanced over the edge, he felt his palms start to sweat, they were high up, "you know I would, but there's no one to catch me" he said in mock confidence.

Anne offered him her hand, "do you trust me?" She asked, he nodded, "of course".

She smiled sweetly, "then jump, I'll catch you" she said.

Phillip looked nervously at the ground so far below them, his heart began to race and he felt his throat start to constrict. He couldn't breathe, that's when he discovered he was insanely afraid of heights.

Anne watched her scared boyfriend, he stared over the edge, she noticed he was shaking slightly, his eyes wide in fear. She softened, she was about to pull him into her arms to comfort him and tell him he didn't have to do it when he took a deep breathe and jumped.

She watched after him in shock, her reaction was a few seconds delayed due to her surprise but she realised he was quickly speeding to the hard ground below. She didn't expect him to actually do it.

His scream spurred her into action, he was getting dangerously close to the ground. She took a run and leaped for the main rope, the momentum forced the rope to swing around the ring.

She was so close to Phillip but he was only a few feet away from the ground, his wide eyes were fixated on the floor. Her heart was in her throat when she realised she wasn't going to reach him in time.

She wrapped her legs around the rope and reached her whole body out as far as she could, she managed to grab his shoulder and pull his body into her arms at the last second. _That was far too close for her comfort._

She grunted at the sudden weight, the rope strained around her legs but Anne pulled Phillip up against her, wrapping one arm around his shoulder and the other around his lower back.

She could feel him shaking violently as he clung to her, his breathing fast and panicked, "I told you I'd catch you" she whispered, the rope still swinging around the ring.

He held onto her for dear life, "that was so close" he trembled, she kissed him, "I'll never let you fall".

She stopped the rope and lowered them both slowly to the ground, "that was terrifying" Phillip breathed.

Anne smiled, "maybe you're not cut out for the trapeze life" she teased, he shook his head, "I am never doing that again" he made an X shape with his arms to prove his point.

Anne cocked her head and stroked her chin, "hm, so you're saying trapeze isn't as easy as you thought?" She asked.

Phillip hugged her tight, "I have no idea how you do that every night, that was so scary" he whimpered.

Anne laughed, "aw come here, you're okay now. I got you" she comforted sympathetically. She'd never been afraid of heights, she felt exhilarated whenever she was in the air. She loved the rush of flying through the air but she could see how shook up he was.

He buried his head in her chest, "you're so brave, seriously how do you do that?" His voice muffled.

She stroked his hair, "how about I forget about practice and we go make you feel better?" She asked, he lifted his head and nodded, pouting slightly.

She held out her hand, "come on baby" she laughed, they walked back to their room.

"Seriously though, anything?" He asked, she looked at him, "oh yes, anything" she whispered huskily.


	48. Anne's Old Friends Pay Her a Visit

**I know I already posted this chapter but I decided to rewrite it completely, I think this one is better and makes more sense for the plot I have planned/ the story as a whole. Hope you enjoy, sorry for the inconvenience.**

Phillip woke up to a knock on the door, he was vaguely aware of Anne groaning in protest then climbing out of bed.

He heard her annoyed tone as she spoke to whoever was at the door. He pushed his head deeper into his pillow as he tried to sleep again.

Anne flopped back on the bed dramatically with a sigh. Phillip just shut his eyes tighter.

He felt the bed dip as she shuffled closer to him. He felt her hair on his face, she straddled him and kissed his forehead, then his cheek then his lips.

Phillip smirked and placed his hands on her waist, "who was at the door?" He pulled away for a second before he kissed her again.

She groaned against his lips, "it was W.D apparently I've got visitors" she mumbled against him.

He pulled back, "what's this then?" He asked, she smiled, "I had to convince you to get up some way" she kissed him again before getting off him and crossing the room so she could get dressed.

He whined, "I hate you" he complained, she threw his slacks at him, "come on get dressed" she ordered.

Anne waited impatiently as Phillip dressed, "will you hurry up?" She paced, Phillip stood in front of his mirror and combed his hair.

He laughed, "calm down" he said, she gave him a dirty look, "I never have visitors, who could it be?" She wrung her hands.

He set down his comb and looked at her, "Anne, if you're this worried then go on out, I'll catch you up in a moment" he said, she looked towards the door and back at him.

She nodded, "alright, I'll see you soon" she kissed his cheek then left.

He styled his hair and decided he'd opt for suspenders instead of a belt. He admired himself in the mirror, "looking good Carlyle" he said to himself, "I really need to wear suspenders more" he added.

He remembered Anne and her visitor so he finished checking himself out in the mirror.

When he walked out to the ring to find Anne she saw her hugging a tall dark handsome man, W.D stood a few feet away talking to a pretty girl also of darker colour.

Phillip felt a little jealous so he went over and took Anne's hand. The man was several inches than Phillip, he was taller than Anne and was even nearly as tall as W.D.

He looked at Phillip and cocked his head, "who's the _cracker?_ " He asked disdainfully.

Anne ignored his comment, "this is Phillip, he's my partner. Phillip this is Maurice, he was an old friend on the farm. He helped me and D escape so I owe him big time" she explained.

Phillip although feeling awkward held out his hand politely, "nice to make your acquaintance" he said politely.

Maurice accepted his hand; his grip was strong. He gripped Phillip's hand painfully tight, "wow I didn't pin you as the kind of girl to go for a poshy like _gringo_ here" he laughed.

Anne once again ignored his comment, "we met when he became business partners with Barnum. He owns half the circus".

Maurice raised his eyebrow, "so you're his property? He's not your master is he?" He asked warily.

Anne frowned, "no! I'm not his slave or anything like that, we're together" she placed her hand on Phillip's chest.

Maurice turned to Phillip, "so you're a _mud shark?_ Anne's just a fetish to you is she?" He asked poking a finger at Phillip's chest as he advanced on him.

Phillip backed up quickly, "no of course not, I love her. Mud shark?" He turned to Anne.

Anne grabbed Maurice's shoulder, "hey what the hell, what's with the third degree?" She cried.

He looked down at her and laughed, "you can't seriously tell me you're with shorty here, look at him. He's white, and he's a _tosh_!" He sneered.

Anne looked at him angrily she was about to say something when W.D and the girl came over.

"What's all the fuss about?" W.D asked, "you didn't tell me Anne was with _whitey_ here, I can't believe she's courting one of them" he said.

The girl W.D was with looked at Phillip in disgust, "Anne, you're courting a _whitey?_ " She asked, the hatred to Phillip clear in her tone.

Anne balled her fists, "yes I am, I love him and I will not have you talking about him like this" she defended.

"Est-ce qu'il me comprend?" Maurice asked in French, "non, il ne parle ni ne comprend le français" she replied.

Phillip glanced nervously at the two. He didn't understand what they were saying, "Dis-moi la vérité, est-ce qu'il te garde en captivité? As-tu besoin d'aide?" Maurice asked.

He eyed Phillip up as if thinking of the best way to attack him. It made Phillip nervous, Maurice was built similarly to W.D.

He wore a shirt like Phillip's with his sleeves rolled up to the elbow to reveal rippling muscles underneath his forearms. Phillip could see his biceps strain against the material.

Phillip himself was considerably strong, he had muscular arms too but Maurice made him look like a twig. He felt a little insecure by comparison.

Anne looked at him with a look of anger, "Non, il ne me retient pas contre ma volonté, c'est un homme bon, arrêtez d'être raciste. Juste parce qu'il est blanc, vous présumez qu'il est une sorte de violeur" she growled pointing her finger at Maurice.

The girl covered her mouth, "Est-ce qu'il vous viole?" She whispered, "Ils ont dormi ensemble, ils ne sont même pas mariés" W.D said.

"Comment osez-vous leur dire quelque chose de si personnel. Oui nous avons dormi ensemble mais Phillip ne me viole pas, c'est mon choix, cette conversation se termine ici. A partir de maintenant uniquement en anglaise" Anne hissed.

Phillip looked at Anne, "uh, what's going on love?" He asked nervously, she kissed his cheek, "sorry baby, don't worry about it".

He looked at the floor feeling uncomfortable, "Phillip meet Lauren, she's also an old friend from the farm" Anne said trying to cut through the tension.

Phillip took Lauren's hand and kissed it politely, "it's a pleasure" he said.

Lauren looked at Anne, she wasn't expecting this sort of reaction. She wasn't used to such good manners or the ways of the upper-class.

Anne laughed at her unsure expression, "my my, he really is posh" Lauren laughed.

Phillip's ears turned pink and he looked at the floor again, "he is so polite he won't eat before I do no matter how hungry he is" Anne laughed.

Phillip turned bright red, "Anne" he mumbled in embarrassment, "it's adorable really, he's a complete gentleman, he treats me so well" she looked at him lovingly.

Maurice forced a fake friendly expression on his face, "oh isn't that sweet" he said passively.

Anne shot W.D a look, "as much as I do not like the recent information I learnt about their relationship I have to admit Carlyle here does treat Anne well, deep down he is a good man".

Phillip smiled awkwardly, he felt embarrassed by the sudden praises. Anne felt a rush of affection for him, he was so modest she loved that about him.

She turned her attention back to Maurice and Lauren, "so what brings you here?" She asked.

"We recently moved to New York and we were offered a job here by Mr Barnum, we had no idea you and W.D worked here until we saw the poster" Lauren explained.

"You're going to be working here?" Anne asked, her mouth dropped open slightly.

Maurice took her hand, "oh yes, lucky for me I'll get to be seeing a lot more of you from now on" he placed a kiss to her knuckles.

Phillip's stomach dropped, P.T didn't always run new oddities by him but Maurice was going to work here?

He didn't like the way he acted around Anne, maybe he was jealous or maybe it was the fact he didn't like Phillip simply because he was white but _he instantly hated Maurice._


	49. Anne's Rehearsal, Phillip's Meeting

Phillip felt the rush of blood in his head. The ringing in his head drowned everything out.

He looked at Anne, her mouth was moving as she said something to Maurice but for Phillip no sound came out.

The light got intensely bright and blinding, he almost stumbled backwards but Anne caught him.

Her eyebrows knitted together as she looked at him in concern.

Phillip had suddenly turned extremely pale and clammy.

His retinas had diluted and he had a strange look on his face.

Anne held his arm as he swayed slightly. He looked like he was about to pass out, "are you okay?" She asked.

She sounded echoey and far away to Phillip. He wiped his forehead and placed his arm around Anne to steady himself.

He shook his head to clear his head, "so you'll be working here, what do you do?" He directed at Maurice ignoring Anne's concern.

Maurice crossed his arms, "I do trapeze same as Anne and W.D. Lauren does too... Hey are you doing alright little guy?" He asked.

Phillip felt slightly offended at being called little guy but he shook his head and nodded, "yeah- yeah! I'm great, empty stomach" he laughed weakly and patted his stomach.

Anne turned back to Maurice, "you guys still do trapeze?" She asked, "well we're a little rusty, it's been a while since we've had the equipment to practice but yes P.T said he can work us into your routine".

W.D slapped Lauren's arm, "hey what about you and I team up and Anne works with Maurice, it'll be interesting to work with a girl other than my sister" he proposed.

Maurice grinned, "that'd be awesome, Anne?" He asked, Anne bit her lip, "I don't know I've only ever performed with W.D, trapeze takes a lot of trust, it can be quite intimate…".

She looked at Phillip, he knew she was silently asking him if he was alright with it.

If he was telling the truth he wasn't. He had seen the physical contact involved in trapeze, Phillip didn't care when it was W.D grabbing her waist or lifting her or touching her like that he was her brother.

But _Maurice?_ He didn't like it at all but what could he do, he knew if he showed even the slightest sign of hesitation then Anne would shut Maurice down immediately but he didn't want to make a scene.

He already felt uncomfortable enough, tensions were still high. He didn't want to make things worse, besides he did kind of like the idea of being Maurice's boss. He wouldn't be able to step out of line now Phillip had power over him.

Phillip swallowed thickly, "yeah you guys would make a good team" he said convincingly.

Anne's eyes tugged at his, it occurred to him maybe she had _wanted_ him to say no.

She turned back to Maurice, "I'm willing to try" she said. Maurice uncrossed his arms and looked at the floor, "well me and Lauren are about to practice, you and W.D are more than welcome to join us. We've got a lot of catching up to do" he offered.

Anne looked at Phillip, asking for permission again, Phillip gave her a lopsided smile and shrugged. _It's up to you._

She nodded, "sure, let me just change into my practice clothes".

She shut the door when they reached their room, "I'm sorry" she apologised immediately.

"For what?" He asked, she placed her hands on his chest, "for Maurice, I never want you to have to go through what I did" she sighed.

He dipped his head so he could look into her eyes, "it's alright. You've faced _real_ racism all your life, I can handle a few white boy comments from Maurice" he laughed.

She moved her hands to behind his neck, "are you really alright with me working with Maurice?" She asked.

He brushed a hair off her face tentatively, "of course, it's just your job, it doesn't mean anything. I know your heart belongs to me".

She smiled, "it most certainly does", she kissed him softly.

"Thank you" she said when they parted, he pushed her away gently, "go get changed. He's waiting for you".

She gave him one final peck before she dressed into her practice clothes,  
"What are you going to be doing?" She asked as she tied her hair up out of her face.

Phillip watched her from the bed, "I forgot to tell you, last night when you were sleeping Josephine said she needed to speak to me, I have a meeting with her in about half an hour" he said.

She turned her head, " _Josephine?_ " She asked, Phillip picked up on her poorly concealed discontent.

She had secretly resented Josephine since Phillip was taken, even after he returned she had had unpleasant feelings towards the girl.

Phillip stood and crossed the room, "yes _Josephine_ , I know you don't like her but I'm her boss I need to stay professional" he said.

He hugged her from behind, his arms wrapped around her stomach, his resting on her shoulder.

She made a face in the mirror, "she's the one who took you from me" she said saltily, "it wasn't her fault and you know it" Phillip defended.

She spluttered, "oh so now you're defending her?" She asked, "no Anne that's not-".

She removed his arms around her, "no it's fine, have fun with your meeting" she said walking away from him.

He sighed, "Anne" he called after her but she kept walking towards the door.

He took a few steps forward, "Anne" he repeated, she looked over her shoulder but didn't stop.

He grabbed her wrist, "stop, listen to me" he said, she turned to face him, her eyes fiery.

They always were when she was annoyed, it was both intimidating and beautiful.

He held onto both of her arms so she couldn't walk away from him again, "I know it's a sore subject for you, it was a hard time for me too, but you can't hate Josephine forever. I chose to do what I did, she had no say. Don't forget what she had been through to" he said calmly.

Anne's eyes flared slightly but she took a deep breath, "but if it wasn't for her you'd never have been taken" she argued.

"It was my father and you know it, stop blaming Josephine. It wasn't her fault the poor girl was kidnapped by my father, _I_ chose to visit my father, _I_ chose to accept the deal, _I_ chose to save her. That's on _me_ , so if you really need to be mad at anyone be mad at me" Phillip said.

She looked back at him for a few seconds before her gaze softened again, "you know I can't stay mad at you" she grumbled.

Phillip smiled cheekily, "I know it's great" he gloated, she frowned at him, "I can still _try_ to be mad at you you know" she threatened.

He smiled him more earnestly this time and hung his head, "alright alright, so are we good?" He asked.

She rolled her eyes, "you're an idiot" she said.

He walked her out to the ring the rest were already gathered, "have fun love" Phillip said kissing her cheek.

Maurice put on a faux disappointed look, "aw is cracker boy not staying?" He asked.

Phillip ignored the comment, "nah, I've got lots of work waiting for me, including writing up _your_ contract" he said casually.

Maurice glowered at him, "I'll see you later" Phillip said to Anne.

He groaned as he saw the mountain of paperwork waiting for him. As much as he loved the circus he _hated_ this part of the job.

He tried to focus on his work but he couldn't stop thinking about how Anne was practicing with Maurice and not W.D, he hated the idea of it.

He left his office door open as from his desk he could see the entire ring and so he could keep an eye on Anne.

He wasn't _jealous_ he was just protective… And jealous.

He reread the first sentence on the contract he had to sign for the seventh time when he heard a knock.

Josephine stood in the door frame, she bounced her leg nervously.

Phillip smiled kindly, "come in, take a seat" he urged gesturing to the chair in front of his desk.

She hurriedly sat and fiddled with the hem of her blouse, "what can I do for you Josephine?" He asked.

She looked up anxiously, "I just want to apologise for all the trouble I've put you and miss Wheeler through" she said.

He waved his hand dismissively, "it's quite alright, no apologies are in order" he replied.

She shook her head, "I didn't see Mr Carlyle coming, one minute I was on my way to here the next I woke up bound and gagged in that warehouse" she explained.

Phillip leaned on his elbows as he listened, "I don't know how long I was there for but I thought I was going to die, I was so relieved when you and your friends arrived" she continued.

"I'm sorry my father put you through that, he's gone now. I just want to let you know I do not blame you for what happened, nor do I harbour any negative feelings towards you" he reassured her.

He could see her physically relax. She looked out at the ring where Anne practiced with Maurice, "I don't think your girlfriend really likes me" she proposed it as more of a question.

Phillip sighed, "I'm sorry, she's very protective. If only you knew what we'd been through together to get here. It's been far from easy for us together. It's like we're stuck in the rapids, heading for a waterfall and all we can do is hold onto each other and try to struggle against the currents. She has good reason to be as protective as she is" he explained.

She looked back at Phillip, "no, I get it. Lettie has told me everything, she isn't the biggest fan of me either. No one at this circus is, I think everyone blames me. Everyone was hit hard when they thought you died, I felt terrible. I was, am? An outcast here, I never meant to hurt anyone" she sounded sincere.

Phillip leaned forward, "is anyone giving you trouble?" He asked, she shook her head, "not trouble as sorts no, I'm just outcasted, I think everyone holds it all against me".

He sat back in his chair again, "hm, I'll see what I can do, I can talk some sense into Anne and I'll see what I can do with the others, they shouldn't blame you; it wasn't your fault".

She clasped her hands together, "oh thank you sir! I really appreciate it" she gasped.

Phillip smiled, "I won't have anyone left out at my circus. You're part of the family now".

Her eyes gleamed with relief, "thank you Mr Carlyle" she said and left.

Phillip turned back to his work, next task at hand was writing up the contracts for Lauren and Maurice.

He had to be professional, he could not let his feelings get the better of him. Phillip Carlyle was a respectable businessman who was fair and just.

Unfortunately he was _also_ an emotional man with a large heart, he looked out at the ring to check on Anne and saw a sight that filled him with jealousy.

W.D and Lauren stood by Anne and Maurice giving them feedback and instructing them as Anne and Maurice rehearsed a new move.

Anne jumped and twirled mid air before Maurice caught her by the waist and lifted her above his head.

He watched as he put her down and turned to W.D, he tapped his chin and moved his hands as he talked, critiquing their move.

Lauren pointed to her own waist as she corrected Maurice on where to put his hands.

Phillip felt his face grow hot as he watched Maurice lift Anne again, this time his hands lower on her waist.

His large hands on Anne's hips, the place where Phillip's own hands usually lay when he kissed Anne.

He didn't like another man touching Anne like this, another hands in place of his.

He stood suddenly, deciding now was a good time for a break, he walked out of his office and into the ring.

Maurice lowered Anne again and smiled smugly when he saw Phillip. He had seen the angst in his expression.

He knew Phillip was protective and jealous, Anne had told him so in casual conversation, she had thought nothing of it but Maurice, with his immediate resent for Phillip, found satisfaction in this piece of information.

Anne greeted Phillip with a smile, "how was the meeting with Josephine?" She asked.

Phillip kissed her fiercely, making a point of placing his hands roughly where Maurice's had just been.

Anne squealed in surprise but kissed him back, they parted after the short but fiery kiss.

She swallowed, "uh…" she breathed, tucking a loose hair behind her ear. He suppressed a smirk as he noticed how his kiss had affected her. He knew all her tells.

 _Good._ He wanted to make clear she was _his._

He noticed Maurice and Lauren look away hastily in his peripheral vision, clearly uncomfortable at the sight of two members of opposing races share an affectionate moment of intimacy.

This only made it all the harder to suppress his smirk.

"The meeting went well, we have things to discuss later but for now I just thought I'd see how rehearsals are going" he said coolly, as if he hadn't just openly reclaimed Anne.

W.D cleared his throat, "well these two are a little out of practice but we're making progress" he said feeling eager to move on.

Phillip clapped his hands, "brilliant, a few rehearsals a week and we may be able to include you guys in a show next week".

Lauren looked at him, "really? You think we'll be able to start that soon?" She asked.

Phillip shrugged, "I don't see why not".

Anne was glad he was making an effort to get on with her friends, it may have seemed a small insignificant action to anyone else but she knew it was rare he included new performers so quickly.


	50. Maurice Keeps Interrupting Philip & Anne

Phillip and Anne had been arguing all day. He had tried to approach her about Josephine and it had not gone well with her.

"-you're acting like it's unreasonable for me to dislike the girl who almost got you killed!" Anne ranted.

Phillip massaged the ridge of his nose, "that wouldn't be unreasonable if that was the case! It. Wasn't. Her. Fault" he argued back.

"If it wasn't for her you'd never have had to make that stupid deal!" Anne screamed.

Phillip leaned on his desk as he stood behind it, "why does it even matter anymore? I'm home, I'm here, I'm safe. Why does the deal matter now?" He asked.

Anne grabbed the air as if strangling an invisible person, "because Phillip that month was the worst experience imaginable. I thought you died! I went through hell because of her, because you are such an idiot who needs to save everyone. Saving her almost cost you everything" she cried in exasperation.

"Why is that her fault then? You just said it yourself I need to save everyone. It's my fault, she didn't ask to be kidnapped" Phillip retorted.

She hesitated, he had her but she wasn't ready to back down yet, "this is ridiculous, I cannot believe you are here asking me to befriend the girl that almost had you killed" Anne backpedalled.

Phillip walked around the desk and laughed, "oh give it up! You are back tracking because you don't have a valid reason for disliking her but you're too stubborn to admit you're wrong".

Anne looked away feeling annoyed but she said nothing.

They both knew he had won the argument. She would _not_ go down like this.

He smirked, "well?" He asked smugly. This just infuriated her further.

She hated that he was right, she would not allow this. She knew she had to change tactics.

She caught him off guard when instead of replying she crossed over to him, grabbed his face and kissed him passionately.

She pressed her body against his and flooded his brain with her touch. His mind went completely blank.

He stood with his arms spread as they had been a moment before until the shock wore off.

He grabbed her roughly as they made out hot and heavily. The fact he was about to win the argument entirely forgotten.

They parted only for a second for air before continuing their fierce kiss.

Anne's hands were in his hair, his working their way up her body desperately.

She stumbled back as they kissed, he followed. She stumbled back into the desk sending the contents clattering everywhere.

Neither of them cared, Anne nibbled as his bottom lip then walked him back. She pushed him hard so he fell backwards onto the bed.

She smirked and climbed onto his lap, moving her hips slowly against him.

She ducked her head and connected her lips to his neck, they were swollen from the fire of the kiss but in that moment she cared for nothing but Phillip.

It had started off as a ruse to distract him from his victory but she had been caught in the heat of the moment.

Phillip let out a breathy moan, deep and low. She could feel him growing beneath her, she sensed his impatience.

She humped him harder through the clothes, her hand that she had been using to grip his neck slid down his chest and below his slacks.

When she touched him he hissed and rolled his head back, giving her easier access to his neck.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door, Anne hesitated and stopped in her tracks.

Phillip's eyes shot open, "wh- don't stop, just ignore them" he panted.

Anne removed her hand from his manhood and glanced at the door, "it could be important".

He lifted his hand, bringing her lips back to his, "it won't be" he murmured before he kissed her again.

There was a second knock, Anne pulled away and climbed off him, "I'm sorry, I'll only be a minute" she promised.

"No Anne, d- ughhh" Phillip groaned in frustration and fell back against the bed.

Anne straightened her clothes and brushed her fingers through her hair.

Once she looked presentable she opened the door offering a polite smile, "yes?" She breathed, still out of breath from the intense makeout session.

Maurice stood at the door wearing slacks, a dress shirt and suspenders. In his hand he turned a flat cap over.

He held a nervous expression, "I heard a crash, is everything alright?" He asked,

Anne nodded, "yes, I apologise, I stumbled and knocked a few things off Phillip's desk" she lied.

Maurice noticed her dishevelled appearance and shortness of breath, "oh I'm sorry, I wasn't interrupting anything was I?" He asked.

Anne turned slightly pink but shook her head, "no, not at all" she answered unconvincingly.

Maurice inclined his head, "I understand. Sorry, I'll get out of your hair" he said turning to leave hurriedly.

Anne closed the door and turned back to Phillip, she gave him a seductive express, swivelling her hips sexily as she walked, "now where were we?" her voice dripped with allure.

Phillip propped himself up, "I do believe I was about to win our argument?" He smirked.

With the interruption it gave him the chance to remember what had brought on the sudden kiss.

Anne straddled his hips again, she pulled Phillip's closer so he was in direct line with her chest, "oh were you?" She asked.

She squeezed her arms together, making her chest all the more appealing to Phillip.

He laughed weakly but she could feel it slowly working, "you can't just distract me when… I'm… About to win" he murmured distractedly.

She jerked her hips against him once more, "can I not?" She asked innocently.

She brought his head up and kissed him fiercely, "are you sure?" She whispered against his lips.

He moaned into her and brought her hips down harder against him.

He unzipped her dress as they kissed, slipping it down her shoulders.

She pulled her arms from the material and wrapped them both around his shoulders.

She pressed her almost naked body against him, "no" he answered, he moaned wildly. She had him exactly where he wanted him.

He shoved her off him onto the bed next to him, he hovered over her taking in her beauty.

She gazed up at him, lust burning in her eyes. She had that look on her face that drove him crazy, the one that made him want to rip off her clothes and vigorously ravage her.

Then there was another knock at the door, Phillip growled in frustration.

Anne placed her hand to his chest, "I should get that" she whispered regretfully.

He brought his body down on her, "don't you dare" he groaned, but she pushed him off her.

"I'll send whoever it is away" she kissed him quickly, she slipped her arms into the dress.

Her hair had become undone, random strands fell loosely upon her face.

She attempted to steady her breathing and opened the door to reveal Maurice outside again.

She only opened the door halfway, "what is it Maurice? I'm sort of in the middle of something right now" she sighed.

"I'm sorry to have interrupt you but there is a problem with the rigging, you've been here a lot longer than I have, I figured you might know the solution" he asked.

Anne rested her head against the door edge, "as I said, I'm a little preoccupied at the present moment, could it wait a while?" She asked impatiently.

He nodded, "yes, of course. I'm sorry to have bothered you" he said.

She shut the door once again and strutted back to where Phillip waited.

He pulled her back down onto the bed, "is it just me or is he _trying_ to stop us from having sex?" He joked.

She lowered her hand and grabbed Phillip's bulge, "no of course not" she said lowly, she kissed him

He hovered over her as he did before, he growled in his throat as he looked at the erotic sight of Anne below him.

Her soft pink lips were swollen slightly as a result from their passion, she bit her lip and eased the suspenders from his shoulders.

He watched her, breathing heavily as she lowered her eyes to his tight bulge. She wanted him and he knew it.

Her hair had come undone and hung loosely over her face, the strands falling randomly upon her own shoulders.

Her chest rose and fell unevenly as the anticipation stole her breath.

He moaned once more as she pushed his slacks down his legs, freeing him.

Her hand brushed his manhood, Phillip's breathing faltered. She began to stroke it when there was a crash from outside in the ring.

Anne withdrew her hand, "I'm sorry, last time" she said pulling herself out from underneath him.

He collapsed against the bed and watched after her, "Anne, you're killing me here" he complained.

"It'll all be worth the wait, trust me" she winked over her shoulder and disappeared out the door.

She raced towards the ring to see one of the swings had fallen from the above. Luckily it looked like no one had been hurt but the metal was bent and distorted completely out of shape.

She hovered by the lip of the ring. W.D and Maurice stood in the ring staring down at the swing discussing what to do next.

"What's happening out here?" Anne asked, W.D turned to look at his sister, "it came out of nowhere" Maurice explained.

Anne rubbed her forehead, "how did it happen?" She asked, Maurice shrugged, "I have no idea, one minute everything was fine then it came crashing down, it almost squashed W.D".

"Anne come give us a hand with this thing it weighs a ton" W.D bent to pick up the swing.

Anne looked back to the room, "I can't right now, I'm busy" she replied.

W.D straightened, "doing?" He asked suspiciously.

Anne crossed her arms, she felt the blush creep up her cheeks, "none of your business" she snapped.

Maurice scoffed, "Phillip can wait, this is important" he answered.

W.D growled, "Anne do as I say" he ordered.

She clenched her jaw, "I am _not_ your _slave_ " she hissed before walking away back to the room.

Phillip sat on the bed already naked waiting for her, "finally, please say there'll be no more stopping".

She smiled and shook her head, "no more stopping" she confirmed.

She got to her knees in front of Phillip, she spread his legs and cupped his testicles.

He melted back against the bed at her touch, "Anne" he breathed, she smirked as she placed a lingering kiss on his tip, "yes baby?" She asked.

She lowered her head and took him in her mouth, his soft whimpers filled the room.

Anne sucked faster, she could hear him fall apart as she moved her tongue, "ah Anne, f-" he moaned.

He laced his fingers through her hair, pushing her head down further.

She cupped his testicles squeezing them gently.

This pushed him over the edge, he let out a strangled yelp and collapsed against the bed.

Anne swallowed and stood, "feel better?" She asked wiping her mouth.

He nodded, his eyes still shut, "you are truly incredible" he gasped.

Anne sat on the bed beside him, "worth the wait I assume?" She asked smugly.

Phillip sat up and leaned over to kiss her when there was a knock on the door.

Phillip and Anne's lips were a skin's teeth away but Phillip paused, "let me deal with this" he whispered.

He went to get up but Anne grabbed his arm, "hold on, what're you doing?" She asked.

He smirked, "nothing, I'm just getting rid of him" he kissed her quickly and picked up his boxer shorts.

He opened the door wearing nothing but his underwear, the look on Maurice's face was classic.

He gave him a smug smile, "Anne's busy" he said and shut the door in Maurice's shocked face.

He knew W.D would find out and kill him later for it but that was definitely worth it.

He could tell Anne was trying to keep a straight face when he turned around, "Phillip Samuel Carlyle" she scolded.

Her lips quivered as she tried to hold back her laughter, he gave her a cheeky smile, "yes my love?" He asked jumping onto the bed next to her.

She tried to give him a stern look but the smile on his face was too much for her.

She leaned against him as she howled with laughter, "you're going to be _so_ dead later" she wheezed.

Phillip wiped the tears from his eyes, "I know but did you see his face?" he laughed.

Anne shook her head, "Phillip Carlyle, you are one incredible man" she mused.

He smirked, "that's what you're supposed to say after not before" he whispered before kissing her again.


	51. Lettie Begins To Forgive Josephine

Phillip stood in front all of the oddities, he had called a meeting to discuss Josephine.

He clapped his hands, "right, you might be wondering why I called for a meeting when we just had our monthly meeting last week" Phillip began.

"We were going to go buy new clothes" Chang called, Eng nodded, "and then we have to go to the tailors" he added. "I need my fur cut" Monty barked.

Phillip held his hands up, "I know you're all busy but there's matters we need to discuss".

Constantine frowned, "is everything okay? Is business bad?" He asked.

Phillip shook his head, "everything's fine, Maurice and Lauren have brought in a bigger audience now that we can include riskier stunts".

Maurice smirked and spread his hands, Lauren just smiled modestly.

"Listen we need to talk about what happened 3 weeks ago" Phillip announced.

There was a murmur among the oddities, Josephine hugged herself as she looked about nervously.

Phillip held up his hands silencing the oddities and bringing their attention back to him, "now as you all know we had an intruder who pretended to be Josephine, she was sent by my father whilst the real Josephine had been kidnapped, she was being held captive and starved" he spoke loudly.

Josephine turned pale and cast her eyes to the floor, "get to the point Carlyle" Lettie called.

Phillip laughed, "I was forced to agree to a deal with my father in order to free Josephine, due to nobody's fault I was shot".

Charles scoffed, "well that's not true, we all know whose fault it was" he said sending an accusing look at Josephine.

Phillip shook his head, "it wasn't Josephine's fault. I want you to all stop blaming her for what happened, this is ridiculous. We have to stick together, we are all runaways here, outcast by society, we cannot turn on one another" he declared.

W.D leaned back in his seat in the stands, he ate a handful of peanuts casually. He and Anne exchanged a look, W.D let out a breath of laughter and rolled his eyes. Anne widened her eyes in agreement and nodded slightly.

They had finally made up when W.D began missing her, they'd never gone so long without talking so he apologised.

Phillip noticed and cleared his throat, he gave Anne a disapproving look when she turned her head to look at him again. She just smirked at W.D, cocking her head towards Phillip like can you believe him?

"Why shouldn't we? She put us in danger as well as nearly getting you killed" Mary laughed.

"I'm being serious, I will not hear of anymore unfair treatment towards Josephine, you are to treat her as you would anyone else. It was my choice to save her, not hers. If I hear of anymore incidents you will be fired" Phillip threatened.

"Fired? Don't you think you're being a little extreme?" W.D asked, "come on Carlyle, she was the reason you were almost killed!" Lettie protested.

Phillip turned on her, "do you want to be unemployed?" He asked, she gave him a dirty look but shut her mouth, "can't you control your boyfriend Anne?" Charles grumbled.

"Anne might be my girlfriend and I may be your friend but let me remind you all I am also your boss, I am the one who signs your paychecks and I am perfectly happy to halt your pay, now does anyone have any objections?" He asked sharply.

Nobody spoke up, they all watched Phillip in stunned silence, "well?" Phillip roared, Anne stood, "Phillip maybe you should calm down" she said.

Phillip turned on her, "I will not have anyone being treated unfairly here" he growled.

Josephine stood, "I'm sorry for all the trouble but I didn't ask for any of this. I didn't mean for Mr Carlyle to get shot, I never wanted to hurt anyone. You don't know what it was like. I was kept in the dark, it was cold and scary, I didn't know whether I'd live or die, or the next time I would eat. It was horrible, I was so relieved when Phillip rescued me. I didn't know what he'd sacrificed until we got back here, I'm so sorry for all the conflict I caused, I really didn't mean to" she implored.

Lettie stood up, "whatever" she scoffed, she left for her room which unfortunately for her she shared with Josephine.

Josephine looked after her awkwardly, "do I go after her?" She asked, "I wouldn't." Anne answered shortly, earning another disapproving look from Phillip.

Lauren went over to Josephine, "I haven't been here long enough for all that kerfuffle so you're alright with me" she linked arms with the nervous girl.

Josephine gave her a grateful smile, "thank you so much" she relaxed.

Phillip turned to the other oddities, "do you all think you can find it in your hearts to put what happened behind you?" He asked.

There was a murmur among the oddities, "I can" Flora nodded, "I'll try" Oliver piped up, Walter growled in agreement. The other oddities slowly agreed too until it was just W.D, Constantine and Anne.

Constantine looked at Josephine, "I will put it behind me yes, but you put any of us in danger again and you're out" he said.

Josephine nodded, "I understand". Phillip looked at W.D, "Wheeler?" He asked, he crossed his arms "I suppose I don't have a choice" he replied gruffly.

Anne remained silent, she was stubborn and not swayed easily, Phillip would talk to her again tonight.

And so Phillip seemed satisfied, "meeting adjourned".

W.D grumbled, "what's gotten into him?" He asked Anne, she rolled her eyes, "don't ask me, we were fighting about Josephine all day on Monday" she sighed.

W.D frowned, "you mean the day you refused to help me and Maurice because you were busy?" He asked testily, "and the day Phillip answered the door in his underwear?" Maurice added bitterly.

Anne wrapped her shawl tighter around her shoulders, her cheeks turning a dark shade of pink, she looked away from her friend and brother, "yes Monday" she said dodging their questions.

She grabbed Phillip as he walked past eager to avoid the third degree, "were you really going to fire us?" She asked.

He looked ahead jaw clenched in determination, he looked at her when she grabbed his arm.

Breathing heavily through his nostrils he shook his head, "no of course not, but nobody else knew that" he mumbled.

Maurice huffed, "well that's not true, you're soft and weak. You wouldn't really fire anyone" he laughed.

Phillip straightened, "I'm weak am I?" He asked hostilely, Maurice towered over Phillip, "you're puny and small but I just meant you don't have the guts to fire anyone" he poked at Phillip's chest.

Phillip glared at him, "we'll see about that you're forgetting I-" he rolled up his sleeves.

"boys!" Anne chided standing between them, she looked at them both an irritated look on her face, "cut it out, you're acting like children".

Phillip growled, "I've got work to do".

Lettie sat on her bed mulling over what had been said, she understood that Josephine herself had been through a lot but she had been hit hard when she thought Phillip had died.

She never expressed it openly of course but she had her struggles sleeping at night.

Phillip had always been a good friend to her, as much as she had her fun and teased him she held a torch for Phillip. She had a lot of admiration and respect for the man.

He had done so much for them all, he gave up his rich lifestyle for them, given his profit from the circus to start again when the theatre burned down.

He'd ran into a burning building for her best friend, he was the first to defend any one of them.

Phillip Carlyle was a good man, Lettie liked to hide her emotions but she was affected more than she admitted.

She couldn't help but to resent Josephine when she was the reason Phillip had agreed to the deal that stole him away from them all.

She missed his witty jokes, his high spirit, she even missed his incessant worrying before shows or when the smallest of things went wrong.

A great deal of time later she heard the door open and close.

Josephine crept into the room silently, she walked over to the drawers and pulled out her performance clothes.

The tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife, Lettie had made it perfectly clear she wanted to be nothing more than roommates and colleagues.

Not best friends or mates, merely acquaintances.

Josephine sat on her bed and began changing, Lettie looked away of course. Nobody but Anne knew of her attraction for girls.

Lettie may not like her but she was a woman and Lettie was far too respectful to watch a woman get undressed in front of her, not without their permission.

Lettie must've looked bitter and spiteful as Josephine spoke in an attempt to break the awkwardness of it all, "I'm sorry" she apologised.

Lettie remained silently, her eyes still fixated on the wall adjacent to her as Josephine stood in her brassiere, "I know you hold this against me, but I really meant no harm".

When she changed into her leotard Lettie fixed her head to look at her, "do you have any understanding of what it was like for him there? What his father did to him?" She asked.

Josephine sat on her bed opposite Lettie's, "I was subjected to harsh unforgiving conditions, I can only imagine what he was submitted to for those 24 year he lived at his father's" she spoke softly.

Lettie steepled her hands, "I don't think you do, didn't you see Carlyle when he returned? He was beaten black and blue, Anne told me his entire body was covered with marks from the abuse he experienced when he was at that place" her words were sharp like knives.

Josephine looked at her hands, "my sympathies lie with Mr Carlyle but I had no control over the situation. He didn't mentioned in the carriage ride back what he had agreed to for my freedom, I found out when you did" she reasoned.

Lettie looked into the girl's eyes, she saw the nerves; the wish to make things right.

In a way she saw herself in the young girl, she knew how it felt to be the misfit the odd one out.

Now Josephine was being excluded by the very people who had faced the same thing their whole lives.

Their loyalty to Phillip ran deep, but it was unfair to treat one of them such ways.

Lettie realised, like it or not Josephine was one of them, they were a family at the circus and they couldn't just cast out one of the family.

"You're new to the circus but we've been here from the start. Me, Anne, W.D, Constantine, Charles, we all formed our friendship when the circus began. When we received some of the worst hate out of all the other oddities. Called freaks, or spooks, or other worse things".

Josephine listened silently, her face the picture of regret. She regretted everything, after the cold treatment she had received, after hearing what had happened to Phillip Carlyle she wished she had been left there to die.

"Carlyle joined the circus and despite everything I had heard he treated us as equals, better than that even. He insisted we all went to England we he took us to the queen. Either we all go or none of us do. You have to understand the loyalty we have for Carlyle is deep and well deserved, he did so much for us all. He stayed when P.T left us for the better Jenny Lind, he comforted us when P.T treated us like dirt. He sacrificed his life for Anne when the old circus theatre burnt to the ground. We love and respect Carlyle more than anyone in the world and to us you were a threat, to him, to us, to everything we worked hard for" Lettie explained.

Josephine reached out and grabbed Lettie's hand. She tensed but did not move, "please believe me, I never meant to harm Phillip or put any of you at risk. I wish nothing more than to be one of you, why can't we be friends Lettie? I have apologised over and over, there is nothing more I can do, the rest is down to you" she cried.

Lettie looked at her hand and the desperate look on her face, "I'm not sure about friends, but I will try. You must see how difficult it was for all of us, myself included. It won't be easy to forgive but maybe it truly wasn't your fault" Lettie said.

Josephine leapt to her feet, "oh thank you, than-" she cried ecstatically.

Lettie held up her hand, "that may be, but do not underestimate my words, it will not be a short process by a long shot. You have one chance, slip up and you'll regret it forever. We are not friends, but there is the possibility we can be in the future if you play your cards right, understood?" She asked.

Josephine held her hands to her lap, she nodded, "yes, I understand" she said quietly.


	52. Phillip Takes Care of Drunk Anne

Phillip followed Anne to their room as he loosened his tie and began to remove his jacket, "I mean it, you should go Anne" Phillip said.

She shut the door and turned to face him, "you I don't mind staying home for you" Anne replied

"I know but you don't have to" Phillip stroked her cheek, she leaned into his touch, "I want to, I don't like the thought of leaving you here alone".

Phillip shrugged, "I'll be alright, I've got work I can do, you should go out and have a good time".

Anne had been invited by the troupe to go the bar for a night where they could all let loose and relax. Things had been so tense lately, so many bad things had happened to them all, they could do with a stress-free night of fun.

Anne had said no, as she always did. She never went to the bar with the others, she always stayed home with Phillip since he couldn't go with them.

She didn't want him to feel left out or alone, he appreciated the loving gesture but he didn't want Anne to miss out on any fun just because he had a drinking problem.

She looked at him, her eyes tight and worried, "Phillip…" she sighed.

Phillip moved around her so he could change out of his ringmaster's clothes, "what will it take for me to get you to go out tonight?" He asked, he threw his hat onto the desk and placed his jacket on the bed.

"Are you sure you'll be alright?" She asked, Phillip rolled his eyes, "yes! I'll be fine, now quit worrying and get dressed or you'll miss them".

She grinned and kissed him, "thank you" she said.

In only 5 minutes she was out of costume, hair and makeup and now wore a more comfortable grey cotton dress, her shawl wrapped around her shoulders and her hair in a neat bun.

She looked beautiful.

Anne kissed Phillip's cheek, "you're certain you'll be alright here alone?" She asked for what felt like the millionth time.

Phillip raised his eyebrows as he spoke, "positive, I'm just heading over to the office now which means, you, young lady" he poked Anne's nose playfully.

She giggled and blushed slightly, "need to get going" Phillip finished.

Anne opened the door, "fine, I'll be back in a few hours, don't overwork yourself" she nagged.

Phillip nodded sarcastically, "yeah yeah, I won't, I'll see you later" he kissed her briefly then pushed her gently away urging her to go find the others.

He walked to the office alone watching Anne catch the troupe, "guess who's joining us tonight!" Phillip heard Lettie roar as she threw her arm around Anne's shoulders.

He shook his head and laughed, he loved Lettie's loud and wild spirit.

"So what will you be drinking?" Lettie asked, Anne froze up, "oh uh, I'm not sure" Anne stammered.

Charles laughed, "come on Wheeler, it's not a difficult question, what will it be?" He asked.

She glanced at the bar desperately, "you'd think you've never had a drink before" Constantine joked.

Anne turned her eyes back to him, "heh, yeah" she laughed nervously. W.D smirked and muffled a chuckle behind his hand.

Anne looked at him sharply, she shook her head and mouthed furiously as she tried to tell him no.

"That's because Anne has never had a drink" he laughed, Lettie's face changed to one of delighted shock, "have you not?" She shrieked.

Anne shot W.D a scolding glance before she studied the table in front of her intensely, a blush creeping across her cheeks, "no" she said sheepishly.

Maurice slapped the table, "well in that case allow me to buy the first round, how about beer?" He asked.

Anne smiled timidly, "thank you Maurice".

Phillip glanced at the clock, Anne had only been gone 3 hours but he didn't think he'd seen her drink once in the year he had known her.

He couldn't imagine her body was very accustomed to alcohol, nor did she have the body type.

She was very light and delicate, meaning she was most likely a lightweight.

He decided he would check in on her, she didn't need to see him, he would just have a peak. See how she was getting on.

He pulled on his long coat and walked briskly to the bar.

He could hear the drunk oddities' loud singing and cheering before he even turned the corner onto the street the bar was on.

He smiled, he had seen the state Lettie, W.D and Constantine usually came home in after a night at the bar.

He could only imagine what the troublesome three would be up to, he didn't however, expect the sight that met him when he opened the door to the bar.

Anne stood on top one of the tables, doing what looked like an Irish jig. The oddities gathered around her cheering and singing an incoherent tune.

W.D played the piano wildly, Lauren sat on the piano joining in on the drunken song, tankard raised high, spilling everywhere as she swayed.

Lettie really must be drunk as she sat on the bar with Josephine, talking, as they watched Anne.

Charles stood on the bar a few feet away from the two, attempting to chat up a pretty blonde.

Constantine and Maurice had their arms thrown around each other as they laughed and clapped Anne on.

Phillip stood by the entrance, crossing his arms as he watched Anne, he couldn't help but smirk at her drunken careless state.

It was amusing to watch her let go, she raised her drink to her lips and drained the tankard, "next one's on me boys!" She declared.

Everyone cheered and raised their tankards. Phillip decided he would watch for a little longer before he left again.

Constantine and Maurice grabbed each of Anne's hands and hauled her down from the table.

They accompanied her as she walked drunkenly to the bar, "another round good Sir" she demanded slamming her tankard down.

The bartender chuckled as he filled tankard after tankard, "chug it!" Lettie yelled above the noise.

Everyone turned to look at Anne, "chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!" They chanted.

Anne climbed atop the bar and tipped her head back as she downed the pint. She tipped the tankard upside down to show it was empty resulting in the entire bar cheering and applauding.

Anne grinned as she wiped her mouth, "best night ever!" She hollered.

Phillip chuckled to himself, he was glad to see Anne enjoying herself.

He turned to leave but instead stumbled into Frederic, he dropped his tankard with a loud clatter, "sorry Fred" Phillip apologised quickly.

Anne's head shot around to find the source of the noise, her face lit up when she saw him, "Phillip!" She whooped.

She made her way across the bar to him a wide grin on her face, "I missed you" she declared.

Phillip arched his eyebrows, "you saw me a few hours ago" he pointed out, she shook her head, "that's too long".

She swayed slightly, nearly toppling from the countertop, "alright let's get you down shall we?" Phillip laughed.

He swooped Anne up in his arms, she giggled and tapped his nose, "hi" she said.

Phillip rolled his eyes, "hello" he replied, the two looked into each other's eyes for a moment as Phillip held her in his arms. Her face only an inch from his, he felt tempted to kiss her, but not in front of a bar filled with their drunken friends.

Anne seemed suddenly very interested in his face.

She stroked along his jawline, "you're pretty" she giggled.

"Right, I think you've had enough, let's get you home" Phillip said.

He carried Anne across the bar, pushing past the troupe until he reached W.D and Lauren at the piano, "hey I'm taking Anne back" he told them.

W.D looked up at him, "Phillayyyyy, when did you get here?" He slurred.

Phillip frowned and laughed at his new nickname, "just a moment ago, I thought I'd check on Anne and well… Look at her".

Anne poked her finger in Phillip's cheek dimples, muttering incoherently to herself.

Lauren laughed, "turns out she's a lightweight" she said.

W.D nodded and laughed too, "she was gone by her third" he agreed.

"Third? Anne how much have you had to drink?" He asked.

She frowned and looked at her hands, counting on her fingers.

"Six" she said, holding up 8 fingers, Phillip rolled his eyes, "we're off" he told W.D.

He carried her back to the circus, he managed to get to the very entrance to the tent before she began to grow heavy in his arms.

He lowered her to her feet and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, "we're going to get you some water then it's off to bed, okay?" Phillip said.

Anne stumbled, he wrapped his free hand around her waist too, "will you come with me?" She winked.

Phillip cast his eyes to the sky, he shook his head and laughed, "well I mean yes, we share a bed together".

He took Anne into the kitchen and fetched her a glass of water and a bucket before he escorted her to their room.

She frowned at Phillip as he sat her on the bed and shut the door, "what're they for?" She asked.

Phillip removed slipped off his shoes, setting both the bucket and water on the end table before bending to help Anne with her shoes, "the water is for now, alcohol dehydrates you. The bucket is for in the morning. I can imagine you're going to have quite the hangover" he laughed.

Anne looked down at him, "am I going to be sick?" She asked, Phillip spared her a glance, "judging by how drunk you are I'd say it's quite likely".

He sat next to her on the bed once removing her shoes and jacket, "you're a great guy, did you know that?" She said.

Phillip laughed, "thank you dear", Anne lay against the bed, her eyes still on Phillip.

Her gaze was loving and awed, "like, when I met you… You were just really great and now you're my boyfriend you're even greater, you're just so…" She paused.

Her face screwed up in concentration as she thought for words, "you're just so great" she decided.

Phillip looked at her in amusement. She lay flat on the bed, her hair flowing around her, she smiled goofily as she looked at Phillip with the most loving look on her face.

He dipped and kissed her forehead, "I'm so glad you like me" she whispered, Phillip smirked, "I don't just like you, I am so very much in love with you Anne Elizabeth Wheeler".

Her eyes lit up, her smile widened, the blush that she always got when he caught off guard spread along her cheeks, "you're cute" she giggled, "you are cuter, my love" Phillip quipped.

She turned even redder at this, she looked down at his lips and then back up at his eyes, she bit her lip. Phillip laughed lowly.

She slipped her hand around the back of Phillip's neck, he leaned in to kiss her but instead she pulled him down so he flopped onto the bed next to her.

He laughed as she wriggled into his arms, "I love you so so much" she sighed happily.

Phillip kissed her cheek softly, "get some sleep my love" he mumbled against her skin.

She moved her head so she could rest it upon Phillip's chest, nuzzling her cheek against him before yawning, "goodnight baby" she whispered.

Seconds later Phillip heard her breathing quieten as she fell asleep, her hot breath tickling his neck, "I love you too" he whispered before he shut his eyes too.


	53. WD Gets In Trouble, Kinda

Anne had noticed Phillip had been really stressed all week, he wasn't sleeping well. She would wake up in the night and he still hadn't fallen asleep in the early hours.

Last night she rolled over around 4 in the morning and he was just staring up at the ceiling, his eyes heavy but open. Anne frowned, "Phillip it's 4am" she groaned.

He jumped at the sound of her voice after hours of silence, "oh, is it?" he mumbled distracted, Anne brushed her lips against his cheek, "what's wrong baby?" She asked.

His lips lifted at the corner when she kissed him but apart from that he didn't move, "nothing, I just can't sleep, too many thoughts in my head, they won't me fall asleep".

Anne blinked the sleep out of her eyes and sat up, "what thoughts?" She asked with a yawn, Phillip finally looked at her, "nothing important, just work and stuff… Go back to sleep, my love" he told her.

She rested her head on his shoulder, "no way, not with you sitting here awake, alone with your thoughts. If you're staying up then I am too".

Phillip tilted his head so it rested against hers, "you're not going to let me change your mind are you?" He said.

She smiled and shook her head, "oh Phillip, you know me so well" she laughed.

He sighed and lifted his arm, "come here then", she kissed his cheek again before shuffling into him, he wrapped his around her and they lay back against the bed together.

Anne traced shapes over his heart, "can you sing to me?" He asked, she smirked, "really?" She asked.

He looked at her expectantly, she laughed and nodded, "English, French or Shona?" She asked, "it's so cool having a girlfriend who speaks 3 different languages" he grinned.

He thought for a moment, "you choose" he decided after a few seconds. Anne screwed up her mouth as she thought.

She ran her fingers gently through his, " _hold me tight and hold me fast, this magic spell you cast, this is la vie en rose_ " she sang softly.

He smiled sleepily and nestled against her, " _when you kiss me heaven sighs and though I close my eyes, I see la vie en rose_ " she paused to kiss his forehead.

She twirled his hair between her fingers, the feeling and her voice slowly lulling him to sleep, " _when you hold me to your heart, I'm in worlds apart, a world where roses bloom. And when you speak angels sing from above, and everyday words seem to turn into love songs_ ".

Phillip's eyes began to droop at long last, " _give your heart and soul to me, and life will surely be le vie en rose_ " she finished.

She chuckled when she felt Phillip's head sink against her, his soft snores sounding he was finally asleep. She was glad to fall asleep again herself.

Now it was nearly 3 in the afternoon and they were in the middle of an all cast rehearsal, Phillip was working them all particularly hard that day.

They were going through the reprise of the greatest show, their last song. They had gone over it at least five times but it still wasn't good enough in Phillip's eyes.

He paced before them, cane in hand watching them as they performed to him, with a tut he lifted his fingers to his lips and wolf whistled loudly.

The musical oddities stopped playing, Phillip raised his hand to silence the troupe, "okay this is good but good isn't good enough, I'm looking for perfect" he said loudly.

W.D rubbed his neck, "come on Carlyle, we've been at it for hours" he groaned.

Phillip nodded, "this is our last song but we will practice until this is the best it can be, I know you all can do better and so I will push you until you give me your best".

He pointed at the oddities in turn, "Lettie sing louder, Charles ride slower, Frederic go stand next to Flora, Sarah move in front of Maurice" he ordered.

Lauren threw her head back, "with all due respect Mr Carlyle, you've moved us around 3 times, what difference does it make?" She asked.

Phillip balanced on the lip of the ring, "what difference does it make? Maurice has a stronger voice than Sarah and when he stands in front of her he drowns her out whereas if she stands in front of him her voice will carry further. Flora sings in mezzo-sopprano, Frederic sings in baritone. They both sing in similar vocal ranges so it would make sense acoustically for them to sing next to each other" Phillip explained.

Lauren nodded and stepped back, since Anne had defended Phillip she hadn't said another word against him but had given him a chance.

She decided despite being white he wasn't too bad a guy, Maurice and Phillip however still hated each other in an unspoken, passive way.

He clapped his hands, "again from the top!" He yelled. The music started up again, Phillip sang his part but stayed standing in front of them so he could look at the number from the audience's perspective.

He walked amongst the oddities as he scanned for things needing improvement, "louder Lettie! Mary try going up an octave! Charles slow it down a bit" Phillip barked.

Charles rode the baby elephant, firing his pistols. At Phillip's request he slowed down a bit, although rolling his eyes and mumbling something under his breath.

Phillip stood in front of Anne watching her closely, critiquing her every move. "tidy up the footwork Anne" he yelled over the singing.

She gave him an irritated look before attempting to dance in a cleaner, less sloppy way.

She hated it when Phillip went into overdrive, he nit-picked at everything little thing and obsessed over making everything perfect.

You might think he would go easier on her, Anne being his girlfriend and all but if anything he pushed her harder than anyone else, he was determined he wouldn't let his emotions influence how he treated her so he was harsher with her at work than anyone else.

Her footwork was fine.

Phillip joined in again on the last few lines, when he took Anne's hand on the part he was supposed to kiss her he held up her finger to her and turned to face the oddities, "hold your last positions" he commanded.

The music stopped and the troupe stayed frozen in their last positions, all panting and out of breath.

Phillip dropped Anne's hand and walked amongst them inspecting their positions, "Constantine raise your arm higher, Oliver straighten your back, Josephine get on your knees".

Charles smirked, he cracked a sly joke to Clause, the strong man. Phillip shot him a warning look, "Carlyle, please hurry up this is not an easy position to hold" W.D hissed, shaking slightly from the strain.

Phillip held his hands up, "alright, take it from the last chorus, this is the last time and then we're done for today" he announced.

Everyone rushed to get to their places for the chorus, eager to end rehearsals.

This time when it got to the part where Phillip kissed Anne he did, he dipped her and removed his hat before kissing her, it was slow and sweet and perfect.

She blushed as he pulled her back to her feet, "right that's it, you're free to go, good work today guys but let's try and do it better tonight!" Phillip called.

Lettie, W.D, Constantine and Charles made their way over to Phillip and Anne, "boy am I tired after the long rehearsal" Constantine chuckled as he wiped his brow.

Lettie nodded, "I need some water, my throat is so dry, I've been singing for hours".

Phillip turned to W.D, "I need to see you in my office, now" he said seriously.

W.D frowned, "what about?" He asked, "get in my office!" Phillip roared.

Everyone jumped, "Phillip, what're you doing?" Anne asked, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

She knew he'd been tense lately but this was very out of character for him.

Phillip ignored her, "now Wheeler" he snapped, W.D raised his eyebrows but nodded, "yes sir" he said obediently.

Everyone watched as Phillip frog marched him to the room and closed the door, "what the hell's gotten into him?" He heard Charles whisper.

He walked over to his desk, perching himself on the edge as he looked at W.D, "is there a problem Mr Carlyle?" he asked.

He decided judging by Phillip's aggressive tone it was best he dealt with this professionally, regarding Phillip as his boss rather than his friend.

Phillip's strict expression dropped immediately, "I'm sorry about that, I need to talk to you about something" he said in his normal calm voice.

W.D stared at him in confusion, what the hell was going on? Phillip had just switched from calm to angry back to calm in under two minutes, "okay… What is it?" He asked.

"So it's Anne's birthday in two weeks right?" He asked.

W.D's eyes followed Phillip as W.D stood in place, "yes?" He prompted, "and she's never really done anything for it before" Phillip continued.

W.D nodded, "right, so what is it you want to ask me?" He asked, Phillip tried to keep a straight face but a smile was tugging at his lips and he couldn't stop the grin from spreading to his cheeks.

"Well, I want to do something for her this year, I know she told me not to but I've got something really big planned and I'm going to need your help" Phillip explained.

"I'm not sure Carlyle, she was adamant I didn't tell you because she didn't want you to make a big deal about her birthday, she's never cared about the day, she doesn't want anyone to fuss over her" he replied.

Phillip looked unfazed at W.D's hesitation, he rose to his feet and began pacing however "I've been through hell and back with Anne, we've been together for a year and a half and she turned my life upside down in the best way imaginable. I know for a fact I want to spend my life with her…" Phillip said passionately.

He took a deep breath, he stood still, turning to face W.D, "W.D I'm asking for your blessing, I would like to ask Anne to marry me" he said nervously.

W.D's face lit up, he grinned and surged forward embracing Phillip in a bear hug, "of course you have my blessing" he cried.

Phillip laughed in relief, "I haven't got the ring yet, I was going to ask you to help me buy it if you agreed to give me Anne's hand in marriage" he said.

W.D laughed, "what the hell was all that then?" He asked jabbing his thumb over his shoulder, "oh, you're the only person who can know, so if anyone asks you were in trouble for the inappropriate comments you've been making behind my back".

W.D frowned, "I haven't made any inappropriate comments about you behind your back" he said, Phillip shook his head, "not yet, as we are both aware Maurice doesn't like me because I'm white and you used to feel the same, so what if you were to just have a conversation where you may or may not agree with whatever he has to say about me" he suggested.

W.D scoffed, "you know, I really underestimated you Carlyle" he wagged his finger at Phillip.

Phillip blushed slightly at the unexpected compliment, "yeah well" he laughed.

W.D outstretched his hand, "welcome to the family _Phillip_ ".


	54. Maurice Makes a Move

"Come on Carlyle this is the 9th place we've been to" W.D groaned, he had agreed to go engagement ring shopping with Phillip but he couldn't decide on a ring, he had dragged him all over town and they still had no ring.

Phillip ran a nervous hand through his hair, sending his neatly combed hair into a scruffy pompadour, "is it really my fault if I want the ring to be perfect?" He asked.

W.D sighed, "why are you so worked up over the ring? You know Anne will say yes no matter what the ring looks like".

"Will she? I'm so nervous about the whole thing, I just want everything to be perfect" Phillip frowned at the rings on the shelves, none of them were right.

W.D grabbed his shoulder and spun him around to face him, "are you _seriously_ worried Anne won't say yes? Phillip, she was enamoured by you from the second you met, she loves you, of course she's going to say yes you idiot" he laughed.

Phillip felt his cheeks flush slightly, "yeah, you're right. It's just scary and exciting and it feels like I'm on a rollercoaster".

W.D laughed, "yep that's love for ya".

They walked around the shop looking at the shelves, "what about this one?" Phillip asked holding up a plain gold ring.

W.D gave him a dubious look, "okay Carlyle, I know what I just said about the ring not mattering but you are _not_ proposing to Anne with _that_ " he said critically.

Phillip sighed and placed the ring back on the shelf, he around a little more before he stopped in his tracks, his arm flying out to stop W.D.

There on the last shelf at the back of the store was the perfect ring, it was a delicate silver ring with a diamond encrusted centre. It was glamorous yet not too flashy, a few sparkling diamonds encrusting a circular centre.

Phillip pointed to the ring, "that's it. That's the one" he gasped, W.D followed his finger until his eyes fell upon the stunning ring.

Phillip found his legs working to their own accord carrying him over to the ring, W.D whistled in appreciation, "it's perfect".

Phillip picked up the ring carefully, as if it might shatter at his touch, the diamonds dazzled in the light, "Anne is going to love it" he breathed.

W.D sucked through his teeth, "she better, have you seen how much it costs?" He winced.

Phillip glanced at the note next to where the ring lay, let's just say it put more than a dent in his bank account.

He grimaced and grabbed his chest, "ouch, that is going to wipe me out, I'll have practically no money left".

W.D patted his back, "I'm sure we can find another ring" he said comfortingly, Phillip's eyes cut back and forth between the ring and the price tag.

He groaned, "no, this is perfect. I guess me and Anne can have a small wedding".

Back at the circus Anne and Maurice were rehearsing alone, Lauren was off with a few of the female oddities.

Anne stood idly by as Maurice untied the ropes from the rigging, "so where's W.D?" He asked casually.

Anne shook her head as she shrugged her shoulder, "out somewhere with Phillip, he said Phillip needed him for security at some meeting downtown" she said.

Maurice nodded, "guess it'll be just you and me today then", he turned his head so Anne couldn't see his smile.

Anne touched her foot as she stretched her back, she wasn't aware of Maurice watching her, he looked away as she switched her legs then turned his attention back on her, "we need to practice our hoop tricks".

Maurice cleared his throat, "the uh, the one with both of us?" He asked, she stood again and nodded, "I'm not used to sharing a hoop with anyone like that" she explained.

Maurice retied the rope to the rigging, "yeah, sure" he nodded.

He followed her to the hoop and watched as she climbed inside the larger hoop designed for the two of them, she hung her legs from the outside frame of the hoop so she was suspended upside down.

"Okay, first we'll figure out the positions we will take and then the transition, how we'll work it into our act" she ordered.

He held his finger up for her to wait, "I have an idea but I need the hoop higher" he walked over to the rigging and adjusted the ropes so the hoop was maybe 10 feet off the ground.

He jumped so he caught the bottom of the hoop, "what're you doing?" Anne laughed as he swung the hoop back and forth, his face was inches from hers as he pulled himself up.

He laughed, "this isn't as easy as I thought it'd be" he grabbed the bottom of the ring with both hands and held his body outside of the ring, his body curving in a c shape so his feet hovered by the inside top of the hoop under Anne's.

He strained slightly, his muscles rippling but he had enough upper arm strength to hold himself there.

Anne laughed, "you never think anything through do you? Why do you always dive into things head first without any previous thought?", Maurice chuckled lowly, "because sometimes the best things are the ones you dive head first into without thinking" he whispered.

Anne merely gave him an odd look and laughed.

He was face to face with Anne, her hanging from the inside of the hoop, him curved around the outside, "what about this?" He asked, his voice tense as he strained to hold himself in place, suspended only by his hands gripping the hoop.

Anne arched her eyebrows, "how long can you stay in this position?" She asked, he attempted to shrug but when his arms shook he stopped, "I'm not sure" he laughed.

Anne smirked, "wanna find out?" She asked, "what're you proposing? We just hang here upside down?" He asked, she laughed, "why not?".

He cocked his head, "alright, how long can you stay upside down for?" He asked, Anne grinned, "I'm not entirely sure, I've tried to test it before but I got bored after a few hours".

He widened his eyes, "hours?" He asked in surprise, she nodded, "doesn't your head hurt after a while? Do you not get headaches?" He asked, she stuck out her bottom lip and shrugged, "no, it doesn't bother me at all".

He took the chance to study her face as they hung upside down almost nose to nose. He had grown up with her but last time he saw her she was a scared, shy slave.

Now she was a beautiful confident young woman, she had grown up well. Her face was stunning and her body was breathtaking.

He focussed on her full pink lips, she spoke pulling him from thought, "I was thinking, can you play?" She asked.

He shook his head, "huh?" He asked, "like an instrument, you said you were in a band and we're looking for more people to play music behind the scenes, we've got a pianist and a drummer but that's it" she elaborated.

He nodded, "I can play the guitar" he said, her face lit up, "so are you interested? You can do it when you're not in the ring", he offered her a smile, "why not?" He repeated her previous words with a wink.

Anne's eyebrows twitched and she looked towards Phillip's office, "great, well I'll talk to Phil about it later, he'll be thrilled" she said.

"Can I ask you something?" Maurice asked, Anne's eyes darted back to his, "okay".

"Why Phillip?" He asked.

Anne was very taken aback by his question, she frowned and squinted her eyes feeling confused in response, "what?" She asked.

Maurice looked at her fiercely, "why Phillip?" He repeated.

Anne laughed nervously, "what do you mean _why Phillip?_ " She asked still not quite understanding.

Maurice wetted his lips, "why are you with Phillip? He's white, and rich and someone I would never pin a girl like you to love, why him? Why not someone who shares your dark complexion, who you'd have more in common with? _Why not me?_ " He asked.

She stared at him in stunned silence, _was he seriously asking her this?_ She was suddenly very conscious of how close they were.

She could feel his breath against her skin, she could smell his last meal on his breath, she could see every little detail on his face.

She was suddenly very aware of everything as if she had suddenly developed hyper senses. She was aware of his deep brown eyes staring searchingly into hers, she was aware of how his breathing had quickened and how he had somehow moved closer without her noticing.

"I love Phillip" she said strongly. She had her suspicions there was something unspoken between her and Maurice, not that she was interested at all of course.

Maurice was her friend and now her trapeze partner she wanted to shut this down straight away without any conflict. She wanted to remain friends and partners, nothing more.

He smirked, raising one eyebrow, "why?" He asked, a laugh light on his tone.

Anne's frown deepened, "because he is kind and loving, he makes me happier than I've ever been in my entire life, he accepts me for who I am. He is the most amazing man I have ever known. Because beauty goes deeper than the skin and he has the largest heart. Because my heart belongs to _him_ " she replied passionately.

Maurice rolled his eyes, "I bet I could make you happier. Anne we've known each other since we were kids, we've shared experiences Phillip could never even begin to imagine. There's something between us, there always has been, nobody understands you like I can. _I know you Anne_ , we've got far more in common than you do with that gringo" he laughed.

Anne once again looked at him with complete shock, was this really happening? "I am making this perfectly clear right now so there is no confusion. I love _Phillip_. You're wrong, he understands me better than anyone except W.D maybe. It doesn't matter where we came from, or the fact we came from there together. I haven't seen you in 4 years Maurice, you don't know me. Not really, I'm not the same Anne I was 4 years ago".

Maurice laughed, "I've known you a damn sight longer than he has, he couldn't possibly understand you, not like I do. So why not me?" He repeated.

Anne's face changed to one of irritation, her glare sharp. She was biting back a lot of anger. It just washed over her like a wave, she could not believe how Maurice was acting but she decided it was best she held it back. For now at least.

"Because you're not Phillip" she answered bluntly, Maurice raised his eyebrows once and bit his lip. He looked at her with a wanting look in his eyes Anne did not like, "no I'm not" he said huskily.

Anne's eyes widened as he leaned forward in an attempt to kiss her, she pulled her head back and turned fast so his lips pressed against her cheek instead.

She fought the instinct to push him away, he could fall and if he fell from the position he was in despite the fact they weren't very high off the ground it could potentially be fatal if he landed wrong.

Anne instead slapped him, "how dare you" she hissed, Maurice turned his head slowly back to look at Anne again.

He moved his jaw a few times experimentally, his face completely unfazed by the experience, "I will have you Anne" he said determinedly.

Anne grabbed the bottom of the ring, she released her legs' grip and allowed herself to drop, she hung from the ring and let go, reaching the floor safely, "I can promise you you will not, my heart belongs to Phillip".

Maurice dropped from the ring too, "maybe for now, but I will wait for you, you will see you are better off with me" he reached out to stroke Anne's cheek but she slapped his hand away.

She glared at him angrily, "rehearsal's over" she said coldly, turning on her heel and walking away.

Maurice watched after her.

Phillip and W.D just so happened to walk into the circus as Anne walked away out of the ring.

Maurice watched as Anne's angry expression melted away into one of happiness, she jogged towards Phillip throwing herself at him.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek, laughing silently as she said something he could not hear.

"I _will_ have you Anne Wheeler" he muttered to himself.


	55. Anne Almost Finds The Ring

Phillip walked into the circus with W.D, he saw Anne storming out of the ring, she looked furious.

Her whole body was tense and shaking with anger, her head lowered as she unwrapped her hands clumsily. Her jaw was clenched, her eyebrows pinched tightly, her eyes burned with fury.

Every inch of her gave her away, he could tell something had gotten her really worked up.

When she looked up and spotted Phillip and W.D her body instantly relaxed, the anger melted away from her face.

She ran to Phillip and wrapped her arms around his neck letting out a relieved laugh, "thank god you're here" she breathed and placed a kiss to his cheek.

He held her waist and bent his head to look in her eyes, "hey what's wrong?" He asked.

Anne eyes switched between Phillip and her brother, she smiled convincingly enough but he could see the fire in her eyes, "oh nothing" she lied.

They both saw right through it, "Anne, what's happened?" W.D asked, taking a step closer to her.

Anne removed her arms from Phillip's neck, "honestly it's nothing" she said.

Phillip frowned, "W.D can you give us a second?" He asked, W.D crossed his arms giving Anne a concerned look before he nodded, "I'll be just over there" he pointed over his shoulder before walking away.

Phillip pulled Anne close to him, resting his forehead against hers. She closed her eyes slowly and smiled.

"What's wrong?" Phillip asked, Anne shook her head, "it's nothing" she said, her voice shook, he heard the distress in her tone.

Phillip lifted her chin and kissed her, "I know you Anne, you can't lie to me" his tone soft and quiet.

She shook her head, "you've been so stressed lately, I don't want to add to your stress. I don't want you to worry" she looked into his eyes.

They were full of worry already, she hated it. She wish she knew what she could say to put his mind at ease, she couldn't tell him what had just happened, not now.

Phillip frowned, "so I have reason to worry?" He asked.

Anne sighed and glanced over her shoulder, Maurice stood by the hoop watching them, when he saw her turn around he backed quickly away to his room.

"It's Maurice" she said, Phillip pulled his head back, "Maurice? What about him?" He asked.

She cradled his cheek in her palm, "I've suspected something was off for a while and today he…" she trailed off.

Phillip's frown deepened, "what? What did he do?" He asked protectively holding Anne closer.

She looked away, she couldn't stand to see the look on his face, "he tried to kiss me" she spoke, her voice no louder than a whisper but judging by the way his hands tensed, his grip tightening he had heard her.

He didn't spoke for a moment, Anne looked at him slowly, he held a confused look on his face.

He blinked a few times, "sorry what?" He asked, "Maurice tried to kiss me, I didn't let him of course, I slapped him" she repeated.

She expected him to get angry or yell at her but instead he kissed her.

Not just their typical peck on the lips a few second kiss.

No this was the kind of kiss you might give the woman you love just before the world ends, a kiss full of passion and love. He poured his heart and soul into the kiss.

Anne pulled away, "what?" she breathed, "you're not mad?".

Phillip shook his head, "not at you, no. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to kill Maurice. But you didn't do anything wrong, I can remember how guilty I felt when Marguax came onto me. I can imagine you're probably feeling similarly, I love you Anne and I know you love me too".

She smiled, how she could possibly deserve someone so understanding and loving was far beyond her, "I do, I love you so much Phil. Thank you for understanding".

He pulled her close, he rested his chin on her shoulder as he hugged her. She frowned when she felt something hard in his pocket, "what's that?" She asked going to pull away.

Phillip's eyes widened, the ring was in his pocket. He pulled her closer again, "nothing, what's what?" He asked, she tried to pull away again but he held her there, "what's in your pocket?" She asked.

Phillip laughed nervously, "what're you talking about? There's nothing in my pocket", she finally pushed Phillip away. There was an oddly shaped lump in his pocket.

She grabbed his pocket, "oh really? What's this then?" She asked, Phillip stumbled backwards, "oh that's just-" Anne surged forward in an attempt to reach into his pocket, "Anne!" He yelped.

He reached into his pocket pulling out something he hid in his hand, "W.D!" He yelled, he tossed the object through the air to him where he stood a few metres away.

W.D caught the object and took off running through the circus, it had happened too fast for Anne to process what had just happened, she turned to Phillip, "what was that?" She asked.

Phillip held up his hands, "it was nothing, just some new cufflinks I had bought W.D" he lied, Anne scoffed "really cufflinks?" She questioned, hands on her hips.

Phillip nodded, "mhm, yep. Cufflinks", Anne arched her brow, "W.D's never worn cufflinks in his life, why would he start now? And why would you buy him cufflinks after a business meeting?" She interrogated.

Phillip laughed, "whoa, what's with all the questions?" He asked, Anne shook her head and laughed, "you are such a terrible liar".


	56. Phillip Takes Anne To The Theatre

Anne woke to Phillip peppering her cheeks and forehead with kisses, she laughed and pushed him away eyes still closed, "do you know what day it is?" He grinned.

Anne rolled over and curled around Phillip comfortably, "Sunday?" She asked, he laughed, "yes, besides that".

She nestled her head in the crook of his neck, "my only day off from training so let me sleep" she mumbled sleepily, her voice husky from just waking up.

Phillip rested his head on her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her, "it's also your birthday" he chimed.

Anne groaned, "you know I don't care about that" her voice muffled by Phillip's chest.

Phillip nudged her onto her back, she squinted as she opened her eyes reluctantly, "you should, it's important" he kissed her cheek again.

She smiled when he kissed her, "hmm" she laughed, "why? It's just a normal Sunday that just so happens to be 22 years since I was born, it's just another year on another day" she shrugged.

Phillip frowned and jutted out his bottom lip, letting out of a breath of dejection through his nose, "why won't you let me spoil you" he complained.

Anne tilted her head to the side and laughed, "because you spoil me enough as it is" she quipped.

Phillip grinned, "is it really my fault if you're so stunningly beautiful and deserve the world".

She rolled her eyes and rested her hands on his neck, "shut up" she giggled before pulling him down to kiss her.

He smiled against her lips and ran his hands through her hair, this was all Anne wanted today.

She didn't care about her birthday or the fact she was 22 instead of 21 now, she just wanted to spend her day off in bed with Phillip.

She protested when he pulled away, "well, regardless we have plans today" Phillip told her.

Anne made a face, "it's all very sweet Phil, but I'm really not bothered about today".

Her hand still resting on his neck she tried to bring him closer so she could kiss him again but he pulled back, "please Anne, just let me give you one nice birthday and if you're still not bothered by tonight next year I won't bother, I'll just let you do it your way" he begged.

Anne looked into his eyes, he had that look on her face. That look she could never say no to, she sighed, "what're we doing?" She asked reluctantly.

Phillip grinned, "can't tell you, it's a secret, but your clothes for today are with Lettie, she's waiting for you" he kissed her before jumping out of bed and heading for the door leading to their bathroom.

Anne dropped her head against the pillow and sighed as she heard the sound of water hitting the floor, they had recently installed showers in the circus.

With a great deal of disinclination Anne threw on some clothes and headed to Lettie's room, when she knocked on the door she opened up straight away.

"Happy birthday!" Lettie cried, Anne rolled her eyes "oh god not you too" she groaned.

Lettie opened the door wider to let her in, revealing W.D sitting on her bed waiting for Anne, "wow someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed" W.D laughed.

Anne sighed, "I'm sorry Lettie, I just don't really do birthdays, I'd be perfectly happy with just having a lie in, hanging out with you guys and just treating today like any other Sunday but Phillip will be upset if I don't let him treat me today".

Lettie grabbed Anne's shoulder, "oh no, you've got a loving boyfriend who just wants to make sure you have a nice day, that sounds terrible, I feel so sorry for you" she said in mock sympathy.

W.D stood, "well if you're so adamant on not celebrating your birthday Is suppose you won't this" he revealed a cupcake he had been hiding behind his back.

It had become somewhat of a tradition for him to steal her a cupcake on her birthday, of course they kept the whole stealing part on a downlow.

Anne scowled as she snatched the cupcake from his hands, "of course I do" she said grumpily.

W.D wrapped his arms around her and ruffled her head, "come on cheer up Annie, you're going to love today. You know his heart's in the right place" he cooed.

He was so annoying but he was right.

"Get off" Anne grunted pushing him away and combing her fingers through her hair, her already curly hair now stuck up messily.

Lettie smiled, "plus, you are going to die when you see what you're going to be wearing today" she said creeping over to her drawers.

This piqued Anne's interest, she perked up slightly, leaning forward in anticipation.

Lettie presented a beautiful red silk dress, it was stunning, Anne's jaw dropped, "oh my god it's beautiful" she rushed over to it.

She ran her fingers over the satiny material, "and expensive" she gasped.

W.D laughed, "well let's just say Phillip has spared no expenses today".

Lettie thrust the dress into her hands, "now go put it on".

Anne stared at herself in the mirror, she loved the dress, it flowed like a red sea, fitting against her bosom in a way that complimented her curves yet modest enough she wouldn't feel uncomfortable. She felt like a princess.

She walked out of the bathroom to show W.D and Lettie.

They stared at her speechlessly, "wow" W.D gasped.

Lettie grabbed Anne's arms, "you look incredible!" She cried, Anne blushed at the compliments, "so you think Phillip is going to like it?" She laughed.

W.D nodded enthusiastically, "oh honey he is going to love it" Lettie said.

Lettie did Anne's hair and makeup then she and W.D walked Anne out to the ring.

"Is this really necessary?" Anne laughed, "yes, today is an important day" W.D said.

Anne scoffed, "I'm just turning 22 you'd think I was getting married with the way you two are behaving" she laughed.

Lettie put her hand on her back as she lead her into the ring, "come on" she urged.

When the two escorted Anne into the ring she was met with a grinning Phillip.

He wore a smart 3-piece suit, his jacket unbuttoned revealing his silver pocket watch tucked safely into his waistcoat.

Phillip's eyes danced with excitement as he took in the sight of Anne, she looked perfect.

Her hair was pinned up in an elegant chignon. Anne wore a light layer of makeup that highlighted her features but Phillip thought she'd have looked perfect without it too.

He tipped his beaver hat to her and bowed lowly, "Miss Wheeler" he said formally.

Anne rolled her eyes trying to bite back her smile, "Mr Carlyle" she curtseyed to him.

Phillip presented 2 tickets to the theatre, "would you be so kind to accompany me to the theatre on this fine afternoon Miss Wheeler?" He asked.

Anne laughed, "why of course I shall Mr Carlyle, the pleasure will be mine" she giggled.

W.D kissed her cheek and grinned, "Enjoy yourself, you've got a good man there" he whispered.

Anne looked at Phillip, he held his arm out for her as he waited patiently with an excited smile, "I know".


	57. The Proposal

Phillip was the perfect gentleman as he escorted Anne to the theatre, offering his hand in help as she climbed in and out of the horse drawn carriage.

In their short ride to the theatre she curled around his arm, resting her head upon his shoulder, he lay his cheek against her head, occasionally moving to kiss her head or cheek.

She could sense his excitement as they talked, "you're going to love the play" Phillip told her.

"What is it?" She asked, he played with her fingers clasping and unclasping her hand, "it's a surprise".

Anne laughed, "let's just hope this time goes better than last".

The last time she had gone to the theatre they had been met by Phillip's parents and she was referred coldly to as "the help".

Now Phillip's father was dead and he had heard almost nothing from his mother or brother except an invitation to his father's funeral he chose to miss.

Phillip offered Anne his arm again as they stood outside the theatre, "are you ready?" He asked.

Anne stared up at the grand building, she felt a little out of place. She was merely a poor black circus girl who was lucky enough to be with a brilliant man like Phillip.

Anne accepted Phillip's arm feeling reassured by his presence, she felt herself reverting back to her shy former self.

Phillip pulled her aside, out of the way of the entrance, "are you alright?" He asked.

Anne wetted her lips, "I'm sorry, I guess being here again is just a little scary, remembering who I was last time I was here, how different things were, or maybe they weren't" she looked to the stairs she never finished climbing.

Phillip slipped his arm from hers and clasped her hands with both hands, "hey, look at me. Things are different now. Everything is about to change, for the better. Just take a breath and focus on me, tonight I will show you a night you won't ever forget".

She looked back at him, his eyes soft and calming, like the sea on a warm summery day. He smiled and her heart fluttered, she had been with him for over a year and he could still give her butterflies with one look.

She laughed a short breathy laugh, "you're right, I just feel so out of place, like I don't belong here".

He raised his eyebrows in amusement, "tonight you do, tonight you belong here more than anyone else".

She didn't understand his meaning, not yet. But she took his arm again and they walked up the grand staircase into the theatre.

Her eyes engulfed every detail hungrily as Phillip handed their tickets to the doorman, "ah Mr Carlyle, it's a pleasure to see you here tonight, I eagerly await to see your masterpiece" the doorman said.

Anne's head snapped around, "what does he mean?" She asked, Phillip's eyes brimmed with a secret but he shrugged and patted Anne's hand, "not a clue, let's go".

The usher walked them up another staircase and along a corridor before he opened a door for them, Anne and Phillip walked through the door to find themselves in a private box with an amazing view of the stage.

Anne turned to Phillip, "we have our own box?" She asked, he beamed, "only the best for you, my love".

Anne couldn't believe how grand the theatre was, the theatre was decorated with rich colours of reds and purples and gold.

The stage was lined by gold décor swirling in elegant patterns around the red stage curtain. Just in front of the stage was an orchestra pit where a whole band awaited dressed in suits and tails.

The theatre buzzed with excitement as the bourgeoise discussed their expectations for the play, Anne caught the word returned somewhere below them.

Phillip took his seat and laughed as Anne held the gold tinted handrail and took everything in, an amazed smile on her face that made Phillip's heart soar.

He patted his pocket, inside the ring was safely tucked away. It took everything in him not to get down on one knee now, Anne looked so pure as she looked around the theatre in excitement.

"Anne?" Phillip called, she turned to face him, "yes?" She asked, smiling in a way he had never seen before, she looked so happy.

"I've got something to tell you about the play we're seeing tonight".

She sat in the seat next to him, her hand on his knee, "what is it?" She asked.

Phillip offered her the tickets, she looked down and read the name of it, it was called 'Rewriting The Stars'.

She looked at him in confusion, "I wrote it" Phillip told her. She cocked her head and glanced down at the tickets again, "you did?" She asked.

He nodded, "I wrote this play, for you. I spent the entire time writing this when I was trapped at my father's, when I came home I finished it on those nights I worked late".

She couldn't believe this, he wrote a play for her? It was so romantic, so sweet. She didn't deserve Phillip, he was far too good for her.

"I worked day and night to finish this in time for your birthday, this is my gift to you. Our love shall be preserved for the rest of time in a theatrical masterpiece" he continued.

Anne threw her arms around him, "oh Phillip I love it, thank you so much" she cried.

He laughed, "well you haven't seen it yet, how do you know it's any good?" He asked.

She scoffed, "you're Phillip Carlyle, you were once infamous for your incredible plays, you've been compared to Shakespeare".

He shrugged modestly, "fair point, well I just hope you enjoy the play as much as I have as I spent these past months perfecting it for you my dearest" he kissed her hand.

She blushed, "of course I will, it came from your heart, I love everything you do".

She turned her attention back to the stage as the lights dimmed and the curtain rose.

The play followed the story of two lovers separated by class and race, the story very similar to their own.

 _The male lead Edmund was a prince destined to rule over a cruel kingdom filled with malicious hateful people, Edmund didn't want to be king and so he ran away and discovered a small town tucked away and forgotten. The people there were poor but had the kindest hearts._

 _Edmund met a dark-skinned girl living amongst the forgotten people and she was stunning, he fell in love with her from the second they met. Her name was Evelyne and she had a beautiful voice when she sang._

 _Edmund joined the people in the secret village, lying about who he was claiming to be a thief who stole from the prince and so had to flee the kingdom._

 _Edmund's father had noticed he had escaped and so he sent the palace guards to find Edmund, they discovered the hidden village and dragged Edmund back to the palace where he was forced to be king._

 _The people from the town had grown close with Edmund and so followed the palace guards back the kingdom planning to bust Edmund out of prison and run away someone the guards would never find them but when Evelyn snuck into the palace she learnt that Edmund was soon to be king._

 _When she found out who Edmund really was she ran away in fear as she knew what the people from his kingdom usually thought of people like her but Edmund followed her and the people and convinced them to accompany him back to his kingdom._

 _When Edmund was crowned king he proposed to Evelyn, making her his queen and changing the rules of his kingdom so Evelyn and all their friends could live peacefully in his kingdom._

Phillip glanced over at Anne sporadically to see her reaction to particular moments in the play.

Whenever he looked at her she was always deeply engrossed in the play, her brows furrowed as she watched the scenes before her intently.

Occasionally she would notice Phillip's eyes on her and she'd give him a quick smile or she'd stroke his hand, a brief but endearing sign of affection.

Phillip had been planning this night for months, since before he had even asked W.D for his blessing to marry Anne.

His plan was to propose at the end of the play, he had written a scene perfect for the proposal, the actors would turn to Anne and address her alone and nobody would know, they would just assume it was all part of the play which Phillip supposed it was but he had dedicated the play to his Anne.

The only problem he didn't think about when he wrote the play was how nervous he was, sitting through a 3-hour play whilst he counted down the minutes until he would ask the biggest question in his life was impossible.

When they entered the third act Phillip could barely control his nerves, anticipation gripped his body.

Phillip stared intensely at the actors on stage as he began to sweat, there was only about 10 minutes to go before he would ask Anne to be his wife.

He slipped his hand subtly into his pocket, his fingers grasping the ring box. This relaxed him slightly but his leg still bounced as he watched the actors.

They had just reached the point in the play where Edmund was trying to convince the village people to return to his kingdom with him.

Phillip glanced frantically at Anne, she had began to notice Phillip's erratic behaviour.

She frowned at him and placed her hand on his knee, stopping his leg from shaking, "are you okay?" She whispered.

Phillip laughed nervously, "just nervous, this is the first showing" he lied.

Anne leaned over and kissed his cheek, "don't worry, this play is magnificent".

Phillip closed his eyes when she touched him, calming instantly, she had no clue how much her life was about to change.

Phillip's breathing grew heavy as he watched the servant stand between Edmund and Evelyn, this was it. This was the scene.

"I wrote this for you" Edmund held a piece of paper in his hands, Evelyn turned away, "you know we can't be together" she turned away.

"Go on Sir" the servant urged.

Edmund stepped forward, "Evelyn, you mean everything to me. I never want to be parted from you again, that month we were apart almost killed me" he said.

The servant stepped forward so he stood on the edge of the stage, he looked up at their private box, directly as Anne as Phillip had wrote for him too.

"Look at him Evelyn, he has an important question to ask you, look at him" the servant said.

The orchestra began to play a gentle, moving piece.

Anne frowned and looked at Phillip, he now stood, hand in his pocket, gripping the ring box.

"What're you doing?" Anne asked, Phillip just smiled, "Anne, I wrote this play for you as you know, but it's more than just a birthday gift. I met you 2 years ago now, and from the second I laid my eyes on you I knew I needed to make you mine" he said.

He pulled the ring from his pocket and got down on one knee, the music rising to crescendo.

Anne's hand shot to her mouth, her eyes filled with tears, her breath stolen from her lungs. She couldn't believe her eyes.

Phillip smiled nervously, "Annabelle Elizabeth Wheeler, you came into my life and turned it upside down. Everyday I'm with you I am happier than I ever knew it was possible to be. I only want a future if you're part of it, I want to grow old with you, I want to love and cherish you every day until the day I die. Would you make me the happiest man in the entire world and do me the greatest honour of becoming my wife? Annabelle Elizabeth Wheeler, will you marry me?", the music dipped to a soft melody once more.

Anne fell to her knees, kneeling on the floor in front of Phillip, the tears escaping her eyes as she nodded with a shaky breath, "yes" she whispered.

She reached out and took Phillip's cheeks in her hands, as if to make sure he was real, "yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!" She cried throwing her arms around Phillip's shoulders.

He dropped the ring and hugged her close as she shook against him, "yes?" He joked, she sniffed and nodded, "yes" she laughed, squeezing him tightly.

She had never been so happy in her life, she finally released him, her arms still laced around his neck, she stroked his hair lovingly.

She giggled as he gently wiped her tears from her cheeks, "the perfect ring for the perfect girl" he picked up the ring box and took Anne's hand in his.

Anne held her breath as he slid the ring on her finger, "it's beautiful, are those real diamonds?" She marvelled.

Phillip winked, "only the best for my lady" he kissed her hand, she held up the ring and gasped as she examined it, "this must have cost a fortune!" She exclaimed.

Phillip shrugged, "it was worth it to see the look on your face", Anne caressed his cheek, "oh Phillip!" She sighed before kissing him once more.


	58. The Engagement Announcement At The Party

Phillip offered Anne his hand as they stepped out of the carriage outside of the circus.

She giggled and accepted, kissing his cheek tenderly when she reached the bottom of the steps, "why thank you Mr Carlyle" she curtseyed.

He tipped his hat and bowed, "well of course, it is my pleasure Mrs Carlyle" he laughed.

She wrapped her hands around his arm, "hm Anne _Carlyle_ , that's going to take some time getting used to" she mused.

They walked along to the docs to the circus tent, "do the others know?" She asked.

Phillip shook his head, "no, only W.D knows. I asked for his blessing, all the others know is that today is your birthday and I wanted to treat you".

Anne stopped, "wait is that what you were doing that day you yelled at D?" She asked.

Phillip rubbed the back of his neck, "uh maybe? I needed an excuse to talk to him alone".

Anne sighed, "you really are special" she laughed, pinching Phillip's cheek, "well I am one of a kind" he winked.

Anne noticed it was oddly quiet inside the circus as they approached the entrance, "are you ready? It's going to be chaos when everyone finds out" Phillip warned.

Anne rolled her head on her shoulders, "god I know, you realise we're not going to have a moment alone for a while now?" She groaned.

Phillip looked at the tent and back at Anne, "in that case before we go in just let me-" he trailed off as he grabbed Anne's waist walking her back until he pressed her against the wall of the alley to the side of the tent.

She laughed and snaked her hand up his neck, resting it upon the back of his head, "hi" she said looking down at his lips with a cheeky smile.

"Hi" he replied tipping his forehead forward so it rested against hers, he closed the gap between them, his hands on the wall either side of her.

The kiss was sweet and tentative, he wanted to enjoy her touch whilst he still had the chance.

Anne smirked and placed her hand on his lower back, pulling him closer, "I'm not going to be able to do this for a while, stop being a gentleman" she whispered.

Phillip grinned, "you don't have to tell me twice" he replied before kissing her more forcefully, she hummed in approval against his lips.

Phillip ran his hands up her waist resting his hands just under her chest, "have I told you how good you look in that dress" he kissed along her neck.

She leaned her head back giving him better access, "you might have mentioned it once or twice, or 17 times" she laughed, her breathing hitched when he kissed her pulse point.

She put her hands on his chest, "Phil- Phillip" she eased his head from her neck.

He pulled back, "what's wrong?" He asked, she laughed, "we shouldn't do this, not here. We might not be able to… Be alone, for a while but we're in public Phil" she raised her eyebrow at the humour of the situation.

He fixed his jacket, "you're right, I'm sorry, I got a little carried away. Come on let's go tell all our friends the good news" he offered his hand.

She rolled her eyes, "we'd better get this over and done with" she agreed intertwining her fingers with his.

He lead her back to the circus tent, they pushed open the tent entrance, stepping inside to be met with all the oddities.

They waited in the ring with the lights off until Phillip and Anne walked in then switched the spotlight on, revealing the party had set up, "surprise!" The troupe cried.

Anne turned to Phillip, "I hate you" she laughed, Phillip grinned, "oh should I take this back then?" He asked reaching for the ring on her finger, she slapped his hand, "try me" she threatened playfully.

Lauren gasped, "what's that?" She asked pointing to Anne's hand. Anne held Phillip's hand tighter and beamed at him, "we have an announcement to make".

Phillip nodded and walked Anne forward, "I proposed to Anne and-" he looked at her lovingly.

She cut him off dropping his hand to raise her own, showing off the expensive ring, "I said yes! We're getting married!" She squealed in a very un-Anne like way.

The oddities cheered their friends rushing forward to look at the ring, "Anne I can't believe it!" Lauren gasped admiring her hand.

Lettie gave her a tight squeezy famous Lettie Lutz hug, "congratulations! I can't believe my best friend is getting married!" She cried.

W.D strolled over to Phillip and clapped him on the shoulder, "so we're going to be brothers huh" Phillip laughed.

He raised his eyebrows and cocked his head, "we will indeed, welcome to the family Carlyle" he offered Phillip a bearhug, thumping his back as he did so, Phillip returned the gesture.

Constantine stood next to them ready to offer his happiness for his close friend, "I am very happy for you Carlyle, I hope Anne makes you very happy" he shook Phillip's hand firmly with a warm smile.

Phillip beamed, "oh she does, she will. I almost can't believe she's mine, it's too good to be true".

Charles laughed, "I don't think any of us can believe it Carlyle, how the hell did you land a beautiful girl like Anne you ugly gibface" he teased, Phillip rolled his eyes, "bring it in you miserable ratbag" he teased.

The two men shook hands and bantered with each other wittily.

There was one oddity who stood to the side, watching as all the girls fussed over Anne and all the men joked with Phillip.

 _Maurice_ , arms crossed over his chest a bitter expression clear on his face. He scowled at Anne's happy ecstaticity feeling green with envy, he and Anne would make a far better couple yet at the end of the night he knew she would go home with _Phillip_ , some rich white snob.

He sauntered over to Phillip casually, "who knew the great womaniser, the most eligible bachelor of New York, the true ladies man Phillip Carlyle would settle down with none other than a black girl" he spread his hands.

Phillip looked over from his conversation with Frederic, he laughed off Maurice's lowkey sneer as a joke, "yes well when you find love with one as beautiful as the soon to be Anne Carlyle how could you resist? She is quite an exquisite girl, her skin matters not to me, I look forward to marrying her" he shrugged.

Maurice wanted to scoff at Phillip's fancy way of speaking with all his elegant words but he forced a smile on his face, "why of course, Anne truly has the beauty of a Shonan princess, if we were in Zimbabwe with her talent and grace I'm sure she would've been the chief's daughter or part of the royal bloodline".

Phillip smiled, "you're right, I really am a lucky man. I don't deserve a woman as perfect as Anne" he looked over at his beautiful bride to be, she blushed as she spilled about her feelings for Phillip to all her girlfriends.

Maurice chuckled wryly, "no you don't" he said bluntly.

W.D interjected smoothly, a relaxed hand on the shoulder, "well how about we go find your fiancée and get this party started, hey Carlyle?" He laughed easily.

Phillip nodded grateful for W.D rescuing him, he made a mental note to thank him later, "sounds good, I'll see you later Mateen" he walked briskly away with W.D. Only addressing Maurice by his surname as the final blow.

They pushed past the girls, who parted for Phillip. Anne's face lit up and her smile widened as she saw him, "hey baby" she wrapped her arms around his neck given him a quick kiss before staring lovingly into his eyes.

"you two are disgusting, I'm going to be sick" Lettie teased grabbing her stomach, W.D joined her, "if I'm ever this pathetically soppy in a relationship just kill me" he joked.

Anne sent them daggers as Phillip laughed, "how could I not be infatuated with her, look at how great she is" he pinched her cheek mimicking her gesture from a few minutes previously.

They both took great pleasure in annoying or winding the other up. Anne of course in response gave Phillip her infamous boy did you really just look, "I repeat, I hate you".

Phillip tilted his head and looked at her inquisitively, she sighed, "thank you, for all of this" she said.

He smiled, "anything for you, _princess_ " he winked. Anne felt herself blushing, Phillip had never called her a princess before, she knew it was just a reference to the play, that he wrote for her, but she kinda liked it.

Their sweet moment didn't last long before Anne was pulled away to dance with her friends as the musical oddities began to play a light bouncy tune.

Phillip laughed as Anne rolled her eyes at him before she was tugged away out of sight.

The party went as smoothly as it possibly could have done, Constantine baked Anne a cake, chocolate and vanilla.

Anne laughed when she saw the two-tiered cake, "hm, I wonder where the inspiration for the mixed flavour came from" Anne teased.

Phillip tapped his chin with his arm wrapped around her waist, "you know this is a tricky one, it's on the tip of my tongue" he joined in.

Constantine held his hands up, "it was the perfect opportunity how could I resist?".

Anne despite her complaints received a mountain of presents; a new shawl from Charles, new hand wraps from W.D, Lauren and Maurice performed a song for Anne.

Phillip hated the way Maurice was undressing Anne with his eyes but hands down it was a good song.

That doesn't mean he didn't make a point of wrapping his arm around Anne's waist possibly a tad lower than usual, just to spite Maurice. Anne was _his_ and he would make sure he knew it.

They all danced and sang and had fun until late that night, Phillip was overly smug of course when he saw how much fun Anne was having.

"So did you have a nice day?" Phillip asked, "yeah it was-" Anne stopped herself as Phillip smirked, "yes, for once I actually had a nice birthday" she admitted reluctantly.

Phillip punched the air, "yes! I was right! I am the best boyfriend ever" he gloated, Anne laughed, "first of all, I wouldn't get used to being right if I was you".

She looked around before backing Phillip away from the crowd slightly, before hugging him, "and second, I think you mean _fiancée_ " she corrected.

Phillip rested his chin on her head and smiled, "I can't believe I get to marry you, I'm the luckiest guy in the world".

Anne closed her eyes as she rested her head against his heart, listening to it beat slowly, "and I am the luckiest girl in the world, I know I tease you for being affectionate but I just want you to know how deeply, incurably in love with you I am Phillip Carlyle and I cannot wait to call you my husband".

Phillip hugged her closer, "I love you so much", Anne lifted her head and kissed his nose, "I love you too".


	59. PT Gives Phillip Husbandly Advice

Anne shook Phillip awake, "Phil" she called, "hm?" He groaned rewarding him with a bemused chuckle from Anne.

"You need to wake up" she shook his shoulder gently again, "whyyyy" he protested, "we're going to the Barnums remember? We need to tell them the good news?" She prompted.

Phillip sighed and puckered his lips, silently asking for a kiss. Anne leaned down and kissed him as he requested, "will you get up now?" She laughed.

He grinned and nodded finally opening his eyes, he dressed quickly then he and Anne summoned a carriage to take them to the Barnum manor.

"What do you think they're going to say?" Anne asked as they walked up the path hand in hand, "I think P.T is going to go over the top with ideas for our wedding and Charity will cry and go into mama bear mode".

Anne leant on Phillip as she laughed, "that sounds pretty accurate" Anne giggled.

They knocked on the door and waited, a surprised P.T opened the doors, "good morning Phillip, Anne. I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting you, come in" he gestured.

He was dressed in his pyjamas still, Phillip laughed, "sorry buddy, do you want to go get some clothes on?".

P.T grinned, "it might be an idea mightn't it" he joked sheepishly, "bring Charity, me and Anne have some big news" Phillip beamed.

P.T's eyes lit up, "ooh okay, I'll hurry right away then" he said excitedly, jumping to the task.

He let Phillip and Anne into the living room before racing to dress and retrieve his wife.

It wasn't long at all before he and Charity returned, now both dressed. Charity looked almost as eager as her husband as they sat across from Phillip and Anne.

"So Phillip, Anne. What is your big news you have for us?" P.T enquired rubbing his hands in excitement.

Phillip looked to Anne thinking she might want to tell them, she clasped Phillip's hand in hers that didn't bare the ring, "Phillip asked me to marry him!" She cried holding up her hand.

Charity clapped her hands eager, a joyous smile on her face, "oh Anne! That's amazing! Congratulations!" She squealed.

She got up at once to embrace the two of them, P.T rose too once Charity had finished hugging the two, his turn to embrace his young friends.

He looked at Phillip with pride after giving him a bone crushing bear hug, "good on you son. She's made an honest man of you" he said approvingly, his eyes gleaming with pride.

Phillip sent a loving sideways glance at Anne, "she has, from the moment I met her I knew. She's the only girl for me" he relished in the blush that subtly crept along her cheeks.

She always blushed when he talked so strongly of the love he felt for her from the start and he loved it, he fell a little more in love with her every time.

Anne nodded at Charity as she reached for Anne's hand, looking to her for permission. She rested Anne's fingers against her palm as she admired the ring, "that is beautiful Phillip, did you pick it out yourself?" She asked.

Phillip nodded, "I took W.D with me, we were out for hours trying to find the perfect ring until I found this beauty", P.T whistled, "that must have cost you quite the pretty penny".

Phillip grimaced, "oh yeah" he breathed on one breath, P.T exchanged a look with his wife, they had a quick telepathic conversation before turning back to the newly engaged couple, "well if you would like Phillip, I can offer you my advice I have gained in my years of experience" he offered.

Phillip let out a sigh of relief, "that would be great P, you know I value your advice".

P.T laid a hand on Phillip's back, "how about we take this to my office?" He suggested, Phillip agreed and allowed his father like figure to guide him out of the room and up the grand staircase.

P.T shut the door to and offered Phillip a seat, "so how are you feeling?" He chuckled.

Phillip puffed his cheeks and blew out air, shaking his head, eyebrows raised, "nervous, excited. Mostly excited, but most of the money's gone, I'm worrying about what we're going to do from now on" he rubbed his brow.

P.T perched on the desk in front of Phillip, "well the first thing I will tell you is that you don't need to worry about that. I know traditionally the bride's family pays for the wedding but W.D's all Anne's got and well he hasn't got a lot. I'll pay for your whole wedding, you needn't worry" he waved his hand.

Phillip's jaw dropped, "P you know I could never ask for you to do that, it's a kind offer but it's far too much for-" Phillip stammered, P.T held his hand up to stop him, "nonsense, you might as well be a son to me and Charity, I'll have to talk to her of course but I'm more than certain she'll agree when I say I insist".

Phillip stood and embraced P.T once again, "how can I ever thank you?" He asked, P.T let out a pft, "you don't need to worry about that son, you know I'm here for you, whatever you need Phillip".

Phillip straightened his jacket and cleared his throat, "so uh, what advice do you have for me then?" He asked nervously.

P.T inhaled deeply through his nose and leaned back on the desk, a whimsical look on his face, "I have been married to Charity nearly 19 years now and in those years I have learnt many things about marriage" he mused.

"Phillip you have taken on a very serious commitment that comes with a great deal of responsibility. When you move out from the circus you will be the man of the house, your job as a husband is to love and protect Anne" he began.

Phillip leant forward " _move out from the circus?_ " He asked, P.T blinked hard, looking at Phillip as if he were stupid, "well yes, what're you going to do when Anne wants to have your babies?" He asked slowly.

Phillip nearly fell out of his seat, " _babies?_ " He choked, P.T laughed, "well of course. Phillip you two're young and in love, trust me Anne's going to bring up babies sooner or later, and from what I know I'd place my bets on sooner" he explained.

Phillip loosened a button from his shirt, the room beginning to grow warm, "right okay" he breathed grabbing at his forehead, P.T patted his shoulder, "take a breath, it's going to get worse from here" he joked.

Phillip let out a laugh that sounded more like someone having an asthma attack, "relax. I'm messing with you, marriage is a wonderful thing as is fatherhood, but you don't need to worry about the second one just yet".

Phillip pulled a handkerchief from the inside pocket of his jacket and began mopping his head with it, "I love Anne, and I want kids but something about when you mentioned it just then terrified me".

P.T shook his head, "I get it, I freaked it out when Charity told me she was pregnant with Caroline, but don't worry about being a father yet, we'll cross that bridge when you come to it son".

Phillip nodded letting out a panting laugh, "right of course" he uttered nervously.

P.T just smiled and continued, "but anyway, I realise I'm not selling marriage much for you. Honestly Phillip marriage is wonderful, a lifelong commitment to the love of your life, getting to wake up every day to her. Ensuring you the pleasure of getting to grow old with Anne? That's incredible, I can still remember the day I married Charity, it was one of the best days of my life" he reminisced.

Phillip smiled, "you fell in love as kids right?" He asked, P.T chuckled lightly as he recalled the day he had met Charity, "I was 14 when I met her, her father despised me. Thought I was a worthless good for nothing tailor's boy, warned me to stay away but I didn't listen, of course not. Charity had some remarkable that caught my attention even then, I suppose when we find our soulmates you just know, don't you?" His grin spreading across his cheeks.

Phillip's own smile widened to his goofy grin as he remembered the way Anne as he stood out on the balcony, "I remember it like it was yesterday, her swinging towards me, fingers outstretched. She had this curious look on her face in the split second our eyes met. I felt something stir inside of me and it remains in my heart to this very day" he patted his chest.

P.T leaned forward, "I'll tell you a secret, _that feeling never goes away._ As long as you shall love Anne you'll feel it, burning within your beating heart. Motivating you everyday to do whatever you can to give her the world" he winked.

Phillip nodded, "I just want to make her happy, I want to give her the best life I can do. That smile on her face is worth it, it's worth everything. How do I keep doing that? How do I give her the life she deserves?" He asked.

P.T clicked his fingers, "see now we're getting to the good questions. I wish I had someone to tell me back then what I will tell you now. You don't need to give her the finest things in life, you don't need the piles of money or a big house, just love her unconditionally. That's all you need to do, if you love her and stick by her then everything else will work itself out. I wish someone had told me that, I was so determined to show her father I was more than he thought I could be I almost forgot why I wanted it in the first place. You're a good kid Phillip, as long as you're a loving, faithful husband to Anne then you'll give her the life she deserves".

Phillip sat in silence, soaking in his wise words, "so that's all there is to it? I've just got to basically continue what I'm doing?" He asked.

"You and Anne have a good, strong relationship. Why change perfection? A husband's job is to love and protect his wife, protect her from all harm; physical, emotional, mental. You do a good job of that as it is, Anne will make a good wife, she will love and obey you as any good wife should but do not take advantage of that, never take Anne for granted Phillip. She may be yours and she will most likely do whatever you ask of her but part of loving her is respecting her too. This is the best advice I can offer you" P.T said seriously.

Phillip nodded, "of course, I would never dream of doing any different. I respect Anne like I would any man. I love her, I cannot wait to make her my wife" he cast a look through the crack in the door and down the stairs.

She waited for him down those stairs, probably receiving her own advice on how to make a good wife from Charity. He couldn't believe how lucky he was to have her.

"The girls are at school currently but if you Anne would like we can bring them to tonight's show and you can tell them after" P.T said, pulling Phillip from his giddy thoughts.

Phillip looked back at him, "yeah that would be great, Anne would love that", P.T nodded, "I thought she might, let's give them a little time to chat, you know how women are, and then we shall see what they're up to".

Phillip laughed, "we can leave them down there for hours and I'm sure they won't notice".

He reflected upon the sound advice P.T had offered him, he felt a lot better now a few of his worries and queries had been settled, now he just had to look forward to actually marrying Anne.


	60. Wifely Duties

Charity turned to Anne, "I have some wisdom I can share with you if want?" She offered, Anne nodded, "that would be nice, thank you".

Charity moved to sit next to Anne, "how did he propose?" She asked, Anne sighed "well it was supposed to be a secret but I guess everyone knows now, yesterday was my birthday. And Phillip took me to the theatre and it turns out all this time he's been more stressed out than usual and working later at night was because he was writing a play for me. So yesterday he took me to the theatre to see the play he wrote for me and he wrote a scene to propose to me too, it was the most romantic thing I've ever heard of".

Charity gasped, "that's adorable, you have a really good man there Anne" she said, Anne smiled down at her ring and nodded, "I really do" she agreed.

"Phillip will make a good husband, I know he will love and protect you like any good husband should, have you two considered if you're going to move out of the circus?" She asked.

Anne shook her head, "we've had a brief talk about our future but we didn't bring up where we'd eventually live" she explained, Charity leaned forward, "I see, what did you discuss?" She asked.

Anne laughed, "well it was just a quick conversation before we went to bed but he said he wanted a daughter someday", Charity smiled, "is that what you want? Would you like Phillip's children?" She asked.

Anne considered this, "I would, maybe not now. _Definitely_ not now, but it's a pleasant thought to think about at night" she decided.

Charity laughed, "I would be careful, between your wifely duties and the honeymoon phase you're most likely to experience-" Anne cut her off, "wifely duties?" She questioned.

Charity frowned, "to satisfy Phillip's sexual desires, that's part of your job as a wife" she explained, Anne's eyes widened, " _excuse me?_ " She asked bewilderedly.

"Did you know not about this? Phillip is a hardworking man. He works long, hard hours to provide for you when he comes home, stressed and tired it is your job to relieve his tension and grant him any sexual favour he desires" Charity told her.

Anne frowned, "it is?" she asked, "of course, it's a very important role the wife must take on, your man works hard for you, Phillip will love and protect you for the rest of his life it seems only reasonable you might return the favour with intimacy and obedience" she reasoned.

Anne pushed the hair from her eyes, "I wasn't aware this is something a wife did for her husband, so I'm just supposed to give myself to him whenever he's in the mood?" She asked.

Charity cocked her head as if it'd never occurred to her this could be anything other than normal, "precisely" she answered, "well what if I'm tired or not in the mood for sex?" Anne asked.

Charity smiled, "well that's easy, just close your eyes and think of England" she joked.

Anne felt a little taken aback learning of her "wifely duties" she would have when she married Phillip. They were a fairly intimate couple and Anne never minded, a lot of the time she was one to initiate intercourse but the idea that Phillip might come to just expect it from her was a little daunting.

Anne swallowed thickly, "can I ask for advice on an important matter?" She asked, Charity lay a comforting hand on Anne's, "of course, you know you can ask me anything Anne" she said.

"Well the new guy Maurice Mateen is a friend of mine from when we worked on the farm as kids but since he has joined the circus he's displayed an interest in me, he tried to kiss me when we were practicing, when it was just the two of us and he makes me feel a little uncomfortable sometimes when he's being racist towards Phillip for being white, or being overly flirtatious" she explained.

Charity nodded as she listened, "well you're a beautiful young woman with remarkable talents, it is only to be expected you might attract a little attention. The most important thing is how you react to it, you haven't reciprocated any feelings towards him have you?" She asked.

Anne frowned, "no of course not! I love Phillip, I just don't know what to do about it, we can't lose Maurice as he's bringing in more money and I don't want to create any problems but I want him to stop" she cried.

Charity stroked Anne's arm soothingly, "okay, okay. It's alright, you haven't done anything wrong, does Phillip know?" She asked, Anne shook her head, "with everything that's been going on I haven't been able to, he's been really stressed out, I didn't want to add to it" she held her head in her hands.

Charity chewed at her lip as she thought, "well I'd tell Phillip soon and ask for his advice, he will have to act rationally as yours and Maurice's boss which in this situation comes first and foremost before being your fiancée, I suppose there is something else you could try…" she trailed off.

Anne lifted her head, turning to look at Charity, "what is it?" She asked hesitantly.

Charity paused, "well you could always have a baby". Anne almost choked, "now?" she spluttered.

Charity bobbed her head side to side slightly, "just think about it, you're marrying Phillip soon anyway, you both want children. When you become a mother you'll have to take a break from the circus. You know other wifely duties; cooking, cleaning, raising that baby. It would mean you could put some distance between you and Maurice".

Anne laughed breathlessly, "I'm only 22, I'm too young for a baby" she protested, "you know I wasn't that much older when I had Caroline, I was only 4 years older than you are now".

Anne held up her hands, "I am not getting pregnant right now" she laughed.

Charity leaned forward, "what about what Phillip wants? What if he wants to become a dad in the near future. He loves the girls and I know he'll make a good father" she pressed.

Anne froze, "you think that's what Phillip wants?" She asked, "well you two are young and in love, Phillip loves kids, he's just asked you to marry him, I'd say it's not as far away as you'd like to think. He's going to want you to give him children sooner or later and I'd say he'll want them sooner rather than later" she pursed her lips.

Anne looked down at her stomach, it was flat and her body toned. If she bared Phillip's child she would have to give up trapeze, which makes her feel free.

"Well I suppose if that's what Phillip wanted we would talk about it and I guess I'm open to the idea, after all I do want to make him happy and that's what being a wife is about right?" She said hesitantly.

Charity nodded, "exactly, now I know you worry about how much you'll have to be giving up but it really isn't as bad as it sounds. Phillip is a good man with a big heart, I know he'll treat you well, he is so ridiculously infatuated with you he would do anything for you. You underestimate how great it is to wake up every day to the love of your life, for every evening your man to come home when you're the only thing on his mind. I know you and Phillip will have a long and happy life together" she reassured.

Anne breathed a sigh of relief, "so what you couldn't have started with that?" She joked.

Charity laughed and placed her hand on her knee, "I know it sounds taxing but being a wife is one of the best things in the world. I wouldn't give up Phineas for the world, I will treasure my wedding day until the day I die. You're going to look so beautiful when you're wearing that wedding dress on your special day about to start your journey with an amazing guy who loves you with all of his heart" she said.

Anne grinned, "you're right, Phillip is the sweetest man I've ever met. I can't wait until I can call myself Mrs Carlyle, he's really getting on with W.D these days too, D won't admit it but I think he's a little excited at the idea of having a brother" she laughed at the thought.

She'd noticed how W.D had subtly stuck around close to Phillip last night, how he had casually mentioned how Phillip would be his brother in law with a pleased gleam in his eye.

"I can imagine, I'm pleased you've found someone who makes you as happy as Phillip does, I can remember when I first met you and you were just this shy timid girl who wouldn't even look me in the eye, now look at you! I can't think of any two people better suited for each other as you and Phillip".

Anne gave her the side-eye, "I can't believe how much I've changed, and it's all thanks to Phillip. I could never imagine my life without him now, and I suppose if I get the privilege of being his wife I can put up with pleasuring him after a long hard day at work every now and then" she sighed.

Charity looked at Anne seriously, "are you having problems in the bedroom? Is that it?" She asked.

Anne turned red with embarrassment, "no! Phillip does just fine, I mean there was one time but that wasn't his fault" she defended.

Charity held her hand to her mouth, "what happened? Could he not get it up? Phin's got some stuff for that" she patted Anne's hand.

Anne stifled a laugh, "well he couldn't… Quite get there, no. But to be fair to him he had just had a very uncomfortable interview with Margaux, he felt too guilty and so he just… Lost his stamina" she searched for ways to put it as gently as she could.

Charity laughed, "bless him, poor Phillip. Well let me know if he ever needs… Help" she joked.

Anne laughed, "well thank you for the advice", Charity shook her head, "you're always welcome here Anne".


	61. Phillip & Anne Tell The Girls

"This is the greatest show!" The troupe sang behind Phillip and Anne, he winked to her as he dipped her.

The crowd roared, they even got a standing ovation. Anne stroked his hair tentatively then he leaned down and kissed her once softly.

Anne scrunched her nose and pulled him in for another kiss. She added some flare just for show.

Phillip waited a few brief seconds before he hoisted Anne to her feet again, he and Anne stepped apart to gesture to the troupe.

They all took their bow then Phillip gestured to Anne, whistling with the audience as she curtseyed.

Finally Phillip bowed and thanked the audience for coming that night.

He and Anne made their way over to two very excited Barnum girls when the audience had cleared out, or rather they began to walk over to them before they launched themselves at the couple.

Helen throwing her arms around Phillip's neck and Caroline jumping into Anne's arms.

The two laughed at the girls unfiltered joy, "well hello Miss Barnum" Phillip said to a giggling Helen.

"You looked so cool tonight Anne!" Caroline cried, Anne swung Caroline around before lowering her, "why thank you but I think you're the cool one between us, you were amazing in your ballet recital last week" she booped Caroline's nose.

Phillip lifted Helen up holding his arms under her waist so she clung to him like a koala bear, "hey what about me?" He teased.

Helen cocked her head putting on a concentrated face as she looked at Phillip, "you were okay" she decided.

Phillip opened his mouth and frowned, gasping as he did so, "uh! I was okay? I am offended" he looked to Anne and Caroline.

The girls giggled, "Anne was better" Caroline joined in, patting Anne's arm for emphasis.

Phillip spluttered dramatically, "well I never! Anne you think I was good don't you?" He asked.

Anne smirked as she shook her hand, "ehh you could've been better" she teased.

Phillip frowned, "I am truly hurt, I'm leaving" he joked, he let go of Helen who of course hung on like a sloth hugging a tree.

P.T and Charity walked over, "I hate to break it to you Phil but you have a Helen attached to you, to have her removed would take a very long complicated surgery" P.T laughed.

Charity held out her arms, "come on" she said, Helen jumped down from Phillip and ran over to her mother.

Phillip joined Anne who ran her hand under and up the back of his Ringmaster jackets tails, wrapping her arm around his waist.

P.T held out his hand for Caroline, "so we hear you've got some news to tell the girls?" He asked.

Phillip grinned and looked at Anne, "we do, do you want to tell them love?" He asked, Anne smiled back at him, "we'll them together" she replied.

They looked at the excited girls, they were bouncing on the balls of their feet in anticipation, "what is it?" Helen asked loudly.

Charity tutted, "now, now. Inside voices Helena. Go on Anne, Phillip" she scolded before gesturing to the pair.

"Well, I proposed to Anne and…", Anne showed the girls her hand, "I said yes" she finished.

Helen pulled on P.T's leg, he leaned down and she whispered something in his ear, "it means Phillip's asked Anne to marry him" he said.

The girls squealed and charged at Anne and Phillip, "you're going to get married?" Caroline gasped, "can I see it?" Helen pointed at the ring.

Anne laughed and slipped her hand from the back of Phillip's jacket and bending down so she could show the girls.

They both verbally gasped as they ogled at the ring, "it's so shiny!" Helen gaped, "are those real diamonds?" Caroline asked.

"Caroline!" P.T chided, Phillip laughed and bent to her level too, "they are not only real diamonds but they are the finest diamonds in all of New York" he whispered.

Anne looked surprised, "is that true?" She mouthed, Phillip jutted his bottom lip and shrugged.

Helen bounced up and down, "wow, Anne you're like a princess!" She marvelled.

Anne raised her eyebrows laughed, "well I suppose I am", Caroline grabbed her hand, "can we help out at the wedding?" She asked.

Phillip nodded, "of course, do you really think we'd have it any other way?" He exclaimed melodramatically.

The girls squealed with excitement and asked a million questions in a minute, Anne shared a look with Phillip as they began to start answering all their questions.

Anne stroked his hand and laughed before turning her attention back to the girls, Phillip took the moment to appreciate Anne in all her beauty and grace.

He considered what P.T had told him about Anne wanting kids, she would make such a great mother. She was amazing with the Barnum girls and she was so loving despite her constant teasing.

Phillip couldn't wait to start the adventure of marriage with her.


	62. The Seizure

Anne kissed Phillip goodbye before she walked out to the ring to find Maurice at the rigging.

She had a practice with him, unfortunately for her they would be alone as W.D had gone out for lunch with Lauren.

She walked up to him, "you ready?" She asked, he jumped and whirled around startled, "oh Anne. I didn't hear you coming" he laughed.

Anne snorted, "sorry I scared you, are you ready?" She asked again, Maurice held his finger up, "hang on" he turned back to the rigging tightening the rope before he faced Anne again and nodded.

They walked over to the hoop, "we need to practice our duel hoop move" Maurice said.

Anne looked at him warily, "okay" she said slowly, he knelt down and cupped his hands.

He gave her a boost up as they hoop was higher off the ground than last time.

She got herself into permission before he jumped grasping the bottom of the ring before hoisting himself up, getting himself in position.

She turned her head away from him, appropriate considering what had happened last time they were in this position, "we need to see how long we can sustain these positions" Anne said.

Maurice nodded, "I agree, we stopped early last time so we never found out" he replied, Anne scoffed, "you tried to kiss me".

He grinned, "you didn't say no" he argued, Anne clenched at her jaw, "no" she retorted, her voice cold as ice.

He clicked his tongue, "see I know you don't mean that though" he winked.

He was way too confident, sure Maurice was a handsome man. He was tall and dark, almost as dark as W.D, plus the man was built like a machine.

His sleeveless workout shirt fell to reveal a perfect six pack and rock-hard pecs as he hung upside down. Anne was sure the only reason he wore that shirt is it showed off his strong shoulders and muscular arms.

He had short military shaved hair and an attractive face, with cocoa coloured eyes and perfect smooth skin. On top of that he had perfect white teeth and a nice smile, not to mention his deep rich voice. Anne could see why girls found him attractive but she was perfectly happy with Phillip.

He laughed, "oops damn gravity right" he smirked before tucking his shirt into his basketball shorts.

Anne raised her eyebrow unamused, "if that is an attempt at flirting I would stop now if I was you".

"Chh, what's with you?" He asked turning away, "well let's see, you were supposed to be my friend and you crossed the line, now I'm worried when I'm alone with you because I don't want to cheat on my fiancée".

He looked back at her, a smug look on his face, "why? Because I'm that irresistible?" He asked.

Anne snorted, "in your dreams. Maurice you're my friend, I've known you since I can remember, it's not like that. I'm marrying Phillip" she sighed.

Maurice studied her face silently, "you know, in Shonan culture marriage is polygamous, it's common for women to have relations with men other than their husband" he said after a while.

Anne frowned, that was not what she had expected him to say, "that's true but this isn't Zimbabwe and Phillip's not African. Here in America marriage is monogamous and I'm not interested in relations with any other man".

Maurice laughed, "you've forgotten your roots, all this time spent in America has tainted you. You are African, so why are you frolicking around with a white American man, where's your pride woman?" He asked.

Anne clenched her jaw, " _Handina kukanganwa midzi yangu asi ini handina kuberekerwa muAfrica, ini ndakaberekerwa pano. MuAmerica. Hongu, ndiri muAfrica, asi ini ndiri hafu yeCacasian zvakare_ " she said in Shonan.

Maurice looked surprised, "I'm shocked you can still speak the language of our people, I would've thought with how whitewashed you've become you would have forgotten where you came from".

Anne clenched her fists, "enough! I used to be ashamed of who I was but no more. I am Anne Elizabeth Wheeler. Half Zimbabwean, half American. My mother is Dangarembga Wheeler and I was fathered by Yahya Chavunduka. I am proud of who I am and I will not have you belittle me like this. It doesn't matter that Phillip isn't African or that he's white, I love him. You need to stop. _Now_ " she exclaimed angrily.

Maurice smirked, "I know something you might be interested in knowing, it's about your mother" he whispered.

Anne held her breath, staring at him in stunned silence, "that caught your attention now didn't it" he taunted.

Anne shut her mouth, regaining her composure, "that's a lie, my mother's dead" she hissed.

Maurice smiled darkly, "is she?" He mused, "if you want to hear what I have to say I'd change the attitude Annabelle" he whispered leaning closer.

Anne didn't know what to do but look at him with horror. _She was being blackmailed. What could she do?_ If he really had information about her mother of course she needed to find out but his tone was sinister, she worried what he may want in return.

"What happened to you Maurice? You've changed, you're not the funny, kind hearted Maurice I was friends with" she gasped.

Maurice huffed a short laugh, "and you're not the shy, timid Anne I once knew, people change".

Anne gulped, the way he spoke, it seriously scared her. There was something not quite right about it, "what do you know?" She asked.

He dropped from the hoop, then began to walk away silently.

She dropped too and pursued him, "what do you want?" She asked, he stopped in his tracks, "oh that's easy, I think we both know what I want" he said.

He turned and appeared in front of her, "I want you" he said lowly. He was far too close, his face only inches from hers.

Anne looked over her shoulder to Phillip's office where he was working hard. Working hard to provide for their future together.

She wanted to find out about her mother but could she really betray Phillip like this?

She took a shaky breath, "what do you want?" She repeated again, Maurice grinned at her submission, "you will leave that gringo for me, you will be mine from now on. Mine to do whatever I want to you" he growled, reaching out and running his hand up her hip.

Anne's stomach crawled up her throat, her entire body tensed, she wanted to be sick.

Another man was touching her, running his hands along where only Phillip touched her.

Anne tried to steady her faltering breathing, "what do you know about my mother?" She asked shakily.

Maurice bit his lip as he looked down at her, his hand moving to cup her chest through her shirt.

Anne looked around, for once the circus seemed empty, only a few oddities loitered around and none of them close enough to see what was going on.

He smirked, Anne did nothing to stop him, she couldn't. She needed to know, "she's not dead Anne" he told her.

Anne frowned, "what?" She asked, "she's not dead" he repeated.

Anne's reality shattered around her, she was convinced her mother had been killed after she, W.D, Lauren and a few others escaped with the help of Maurice.

 _She was shaken awake violently, she curled up into a ball instinctively in order to protect herself from being hurt._

 _"Anne! It's me, get up, quick!" her mother hissed quietly, she opened her eyes to see her leant over Anne with a frantic look in her eyes, W.D stood behind her glancing over his shoulder nervously._

 _Anne straightened as she looked up at her , it was still dark she could barely see either of them, "what? What's happening?" She asked._

 _W.D surged forward and clamped his hand over her mouth, "quiet! You need to get up now!" He whisper shouted._

 _Anne scrambled to her feet aided by her mother's shaking hands, "what's happening mama?" She asked in a small, frightened voice._

 _Her mother pulled her to her chest, she held her head as she sniffed, "everything's going to be okay Anne, you're getting out of here. Both of you" she whispered, her voice was ragged and hoarse._

 _W.D took Anne's hand and they crept silently out the broken room the slaves all slept in, "what about the others?" Anne asked, careful not to stand on any of those still asleep in the mud._

 _Their mother followed close behind them, she shook her head, "no Anne. There's no room for them, you must worry about yourself, you need to get out of here nyika yangu"._

 _W.D pulled her out of the room and into the dark, cold outside. Anne shivered and hugged her free arm to her chest._

 _W.D stopped, holding his arm out in front of her "stop, I need to check the coast is clear. Stay here, both of you"._

 _Their mother grabbed his arm, "iwe haugone. Ini ndichazviita, iwe unokosha kupfuura ini moyo wangu nemweya wangu, kana ndikasadzoka, enda kune huni" she said._

 _He shook his head, "no mama, I don't want them to hurt you, I can take it, please, stay here with Anne" he insisted._

 _She swallowed thickly before she surged forward hugging him tightly and grabbing his head, bringing it down so she may kiss it, "reviens chez nous"._

 _He nodded, "Je vais, je t'aime mama" he said and then disappeared into the dark._

 _Anne gasped and clung to her mother. She wrapped her arms around Anne whispering soothing things into her ear as she stroked her hair._

 _It felt like forever before W.D returned, every second he was gone the worry built in Anne's chest._

 _She could not fit here, "calm down nyika yangu, it will be okay. You have to be strong now, hold on" her mother whispered._

 _Anne buried her head in her chest and took slow, deep breaths, she heard a rustle of leaves and she turned quickly afraid it was her master._

 _Had they been caught? She knew she would receive a terrible beating for this, her skin was still broken and bleeding from last night when she had collapsed from exhaustion angering her master._

 _W.D appeared, "it's me, come on, it's clear for now. We must run but stay as silent as you can, no talking until we're there" he ordered._

 _"Where is there?" Anne asked, "hush Anne, if you want to get away we must do exactly as your brother says"._

 _W.D took Anne's hand once again and guided her as they ran through the dark. Anne couldn't see two feet in front of her but W.D seemed to know where he was going._

 _They ran across the farm until they reached the fence bordering the farm. There was a large hole in the wood where a horse waited with a cart attached to it._

 _Sat on the cart was Lauren, Zhaimu, Paul, Sunu and Verity. Maurice paced on the cart in front of them, "zororo, ivo vachave vari pano" he hissed._

 _He sighed in relief when W.D pulled Anne towards him. W.D dropped Anne's hands and grabbed Maurice's shoulders, "merci d'avoir sauvé ma famille, mon ami" he said._

 _Maurice shook his head, "I would never leave you behind, I'm sorry I couldn't save your father"._

 _Anne and W.D's mother raced towards them, "footsteps, quick get in all of you" she ushered them in the cart._

 _W.D lifted Anne onto the cart and climbed aboard offering Maurice his hand, he hauled the man aboard._

 _He held out his hand for his mother, "come on ma quick!" He urged._

 _Suddenly there was a loud shout, "Les esclaves s'échappent! Apportez les armes!" The master's son screamed._

 _Anne's eyes widened in fear as there a bullet flew past her ear hitting the floor next to the cart, "Ma now!" W.D ordered._

 _Their mother looked back, "it is too late for me, save yourselves" she cried._

 _Anne's breath quickened, W.D's arm shot around her shoulders, pulling her to his chest and stroking her arm to calm her._

 _"No! We won't leave you, please mama" he begged._

 _There was another gunshot and the sound of footsteps increasing quickly, "we must go D" Lauren whispered._

 _Anne and W.D's mother surged forward, "W.D protect Anne at all costs, you must take care of her. Goodbye mufaro, I love you dearly. Now go!" She wrapped her arms around her children placing a quick kiss to their foreheads._

 _Anne felt her mother's tears fall on her face, she ripped her shawl from her shoulders and pushed it into Anne's hands, "go!" She roared._

 _She pushed their heads down throwing the blanket on the cart over them, she slapped the horse and it whinnied as it fled into the woods._

 _"No!" Anne screamed as she watched her master grab her mother by the throat. He was surrounded by men with guns who began firing after them._

 _Her mothers eyes did not leave her and W.D as she was choked violently, the master beating her with his free hand._

 _"I love you" Their mother choked weakly but Anne heard._

 _W.D grabbed Anne's head and pulled her into his chest so she couldn't see his mother anymore, "no!" He roared._

 _Anne collapsed with exhaustion against her brothers chest, his strangled sobs told her she shouldn't look back._

 _She felt tired and scared as they rode through the woods, cramped together on a small cart riding through the woods hidden by a thin blanket in the dark._

 _She had no idea what was going to happen to them but she knew one thing for certain, her mother was dead. She had died bravely so Anne and W.D could escape their hellish existence._

Anne shook her head, tears pooling in her eyes, "no she must be, I saw her being choked, then W.D screamed" she said backing away.

Maurice followed her, "she's alive Anne, I saw her" he said.

Anne's head swam, she nearly collapsed but Maurice lunged forward and caught her, "hey I've got you" he said surprisingly soft.

Anne shrugged him off, "no, I'm okay. What do you mean you saw her?" She asked as she wiped at her eyes.

"I saw her near the hidden town in New Orleans, the old mazza was selling her, I followed her to her new mazza's manor" he explained.

Anne jumped in happiness, "you know where she is?" She screamed, Maurice nodded, "yeah she got bought in the nice part of New Orleans" he said.

Anne grabbed his arms, "Maurice you've got to take me there" she begged.

He smirked down at her, "I will", Anne jumped up and down, "thank you, thank you, thank you!".

Maurice held up his hand, "I will for a price" he finished. Anne stopped jumping, her smile faltering, "a-a price?" She asked.

He nodded, "I think you know what I want" he took a step closer, his hand grabbing at the hem of her shirt.

She backed up, "Maurice, listen thank you for the information but I-" she began but he followed her grabbing her more forcefully now, "what's wrong slut? You _fucked_ Phillip what's the difference huh?" He asked.

Anne flinched at the word slut, his tone was aggressive and angry.

She backed up more, "that's different he-" she started but Maurice cut her off he grabbed her waist with both hands now, his grip strong, "come on Anne, I know you want me, I bet I'm better than that scrawny white boy" he growled.

He pushed Anne against the stands, her head hitting the wood painfully, the circus now appeared to be deserted so it was just the two of them.

Maurice forced his hand up Anne's shirt, grabbing at her chest, "Maurice stop I don't-" he pressed his body against her, "don't you want a real man?" He asked.

He held her body against the structure with one hand, his other grabbing at her chest, he leant down and kissed her neck forcefully.

Anne's heart raced, this was wrong. She didn't want this, why did W.D have to be out the one time she needed him?

She tried to push Maurice off of her but he was a lot bigger than her, "you know I'm stronger than you Anne, don't fight it, you know you want this too" he whispered against her skin.

His hand trailed down from her chest, now pulling at her shorts. Anne began to panic, instinct took over and she kneed him hard in the groin, bringing her elbow down on the small of his neck.

He crumpled to the floor with a groan and she ran, she started towards Phillip's office but Maurice quickly got up and ran after her.

He was faster than her too, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back, "what's wrong? You opened your legs to that whitey. Just let this happen" he grabbed at her butt.

She felt her body start to panic, she tensed and felt the panic rise in her chest.

She could not have a seizure, she needed W.D, _fuck he wasn't here._

She had to get Phillip, he could calm her down, "get off me" Anne struggled, but Maurice overpowered her.

He grabbed her neck and forced his tongue in her mouth, she squeaked and tried to push him away but he began to choke her slightly.

She stopped struggling and he loosened his grip, she stomped hard on his foot he pulled away to cry out in pain.

Anne summoned all of her strength and tried to push him away, he stumbled back a few steps, "Phillip!" Anne screamed at the top of her lungs.

Maurice charged forward and clamped his hand over Anne's mouth, "why're you resisting? There's clearly something between us, I want you and I _will_ have you" he roared.

Anne's panic started to engulf her, she couldn't breathe. _Oh god not now, please not now._

She bit his hand and screamed, she heard a door open. It was coming from Phillip's office.

Maurice cursed and released Anne pushing her away from him, she stumbled roughly but caught herself.

She saw Phillip run out of his office, his eyes searching for her. _But it was too late._

The stress had become too much, her eyes rolled into her head and she collapsed, her body beginning to shake violently.


	63. Panic Over

p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"Phillip was doing some paper work in his office when he thought he heard a faint scream calling his name from the ring, he paused to listen, his quill hovering above the payslip he was filling out but he didn't hear anything else so he shrugged it off and continued onwards. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"Not even a few seconds later Phillip heard Anne's voice again, this time she just screamed. Immediately Phillip dropped what he was doing and shot out the door, he searched quickly around the circus for Anne. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"Then he spotted her, she was standing in the ring with Maurice but something wasn't right, she stumbled and nearly fell with a panicked look on her face. Maurice stood next to her looking angry as he began to step away from Anne. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"And then she fell, her eyes rolled back into her head and she collapsed, Maurice stopped and knelt to her side but Phillip was too fast. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"As soon as he saw her eyes roll back he sprinted towards her as fast as his legs could possibly carry him, "don't you fucking touch her" he screamed pushing Maurice back away from her as hard as he could. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"The oddities all started emerging from their rooms or gathering around Phillip to see what was happening but he didn't care. He stared at Anne in horror as her body began to shake violently, "Anne!" He cried/p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"He pulled her into his lap and his own panic took over, he had no idea what was happening or what to do. He felt his eyes begin to collect tears and his breath threatening to hyperventilate, "Anne" he gasped again. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"He couldn't breathe, all he could focus on was his fiancé twitching in his lap, a tortured look on her face. He cupped her face as he began to cry, "I don't know what to do" he cried. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"Maurice tried to creep closer and rest his hand on Anne's stomach but Phillip turned to him angrily, "I said don't fucking touch her get the fuck away! You're fired, get out of here!" He roared. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"He turned his focus back to Anne who's fits were only getting worse, her body thrashed about violently, her arms and legs hitting the floor repeatedly, she was screaming inside her head but Phillip couldn't hear her. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"She could feel Phillip panicking underneath her, she could feel his chest heaving and she felt his hot tears as they fell from his cheeks. She cursed herself for not telling him about the seizures before, "I'm alright Phil! It's okay!" She cried out in her head but he couldn't hear her. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"He started to cry harder as he watched on in horror, "tell me what do Anne! What do I do? How do I help you?" He sobbed, hunched over her body. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"Then W.D pushed through the crowd gathered around them, "what's happening? Let me through!" He struggled until he pushed to the front and saw Anne having a seizure in a very distressed Phillip's arms. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"He dropped to his knees in front of them, "Phillip let her go" he ordered calmly, but Phillip was too hysterical to see sense. He held Anne tighter to his chest and shook his head, "no! I won't let her go! What's happening to her? What's h-" he sobbed incoherently. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"W.D lay a comforting hand on Phillip's shoulder and looked at him calmly, "everything's okay, I can help her. She's alright, just give her to me" he said soothingly. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"Another sob wracked through Phillip's body but his grip on Anne loosened, he allowed W.D to ease her out of his grip, "Anne!" He cried again as she half screamed something incoherent through gritted teeth. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"W.D lay Anne on the floor in front of them, taking off his shirt and laying it under her head as a makeshift pillow, he smoothed her hair and whispered soothingly to her. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"Phillip watched in despair, shaking from the shock and fear. W.D saw how undone he'd become and took his shoulder again, "listen to me Phillip, I promise you she is okay. She'll explain to you once she comes around but right now it's very important you try to keep calm. Get them all to leave" he nodded towards the crowd. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"Phillip took a deep heaving breath and wiped at his face before he stood, "go, get out of here" he said weakly to the crowd. Some left but most ignored him, their eyes still on Anne with worried expressions. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"Phillip took a few quick steps forward and waved his arms, "I said go! Stop staring at her and go back to your rooms" he ordered more strongly. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"The crowd quickly dispersed leaving Phillip, Anne and W.D, Maurice must have left with the crowds. Phillip dropped to his knees next to Anne, "what can I do?" Phillip asked through his hyperventilating gasps. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"W.D took Phillip's hand and laid it on hers, "hold her hand, your presence will probably be calming for Anne, just talk to her. Tell her you're here and that she's in no danger" he instructed. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"Phillip nodded and slipped his fingers through hers, "h-hey Anne, I don't know wh-at's going on but you're okay" He stammered whilst he tried to calm himself. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"Anne's face relaxed ever so slightly, W.D nodded, "good, you're doing well keep going" he urged encouragingly. Phillip took her hand in both of his, pressing it against his heart as Anne did with him when he was in hospital, "if something happened with Maurice, you don't have to worry about him anymore. I sent him away love, everything is going to be alright" he whispered. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"He lowered his head and kissed her hand, he began to feel her fingers twitch against his, he looked up at W.D, he smiled and nodded, "that's it Anne, focus on Phillip and his voice. Focus on his hand holding yours, try to move your fingers, hold his hand Annie. I know you can do it come on" he coached. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"Anne's hand twitched more in Phillip's, her index fingers relaxed and lay back against Phillip's knuckles, Phillip smiled waterily, "that's it, come on Anne. Come back to me" he said. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"And then her eyes flew open with a gasp, she panted feeling out of breath from the energy of fitting. She looked up at Phillip and her heart broke slightly in her chest to see him so upset./p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"His eyes were red and watery, his cheeks were sticky and stained with tears, he looked at her with such worry and fear, she summoned all her remaining energy and lifted her hand to his cheek, "hey baby" she said weakly. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"He smiled and hugged her hand to his chest, "you're okay" he croaked, she nodded, "I'm sorry I scared you Phil, I should've told you". /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"Phillip frowned, "told me what?" He asked, Anne looked at W.D, "you were right, of course. I'm sorry D" she wheezed. He smirked, "I'm always right, but it looks like you've got a difficult conversation with Carlyle, I'll leave you two alone" he stood and walked away. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"Anne tried to push herself up but she felt weak and tired and so she fell harshly again, Phillip pushed her hand away, "let me" he said. He stood and picked her up bridal style and carried her to their room. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"He shut the door and laid her gently down on the bed, "you need to rest, you look tired" he whispered, he sat by her side and picked up her hand again. /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"Anne nodded, "that took a lot out of me, but we need to talk" she said, Phillip shook his head, "rest first, then we can talk". /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"She could feel her eyes drooping already, "can you stay with me for a while?" She asked sleepily, he smiled and kissed her palm, "of course dear, I love you". /p  
p style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.119999885559082px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; caret-color: #2a2a2a; color: #2a2a2a;"She let her eyes close, "I love you too" she mumbled before sleep took over/p 


	64. Maurice Takes a Beating

When Anne woke up she was a little surprised to see Phillip sitting in the exact same place he had been when she had fallen asleep.

She propped herself up on her elbows and rubbed her eyes, "Phillip? You're still here?" She asked.

He move a strand of hair from her eyes, moving his hand down to cup her chin in one swift movement, "of course, how're you feeling?" He asked.

She sat up, "I'm fine, I just needed to restore my energy, look Phillip there's something I need to talk to you about" she said.

He stopped her, "before you do I need to ask, what happened to cause your seizure earlier?" He asked.

Anne chewed the inside of her cheek nervously, "something happened with Maurice".

Phillip tensed, "what do you mean?" He asked, his eyes narrowing.

Anne began to stroke his hand to calm him down, "Maurice has recently displayed an interest in me, do you remember that day you and W.D bought the ring and I was really angry when you came back?" Anne asked.

Phillip nodded silently, "well Maurice made a move and tried to kiss me, I turned my head and slapped him. Ever since he's been flirting with me and acting inappropriately".

Phillip's nostrils flared with anger, "he tried to _what_?" He asked, his voice shaking as he tried to remain calm.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't tell you sooner. You've been under so much stress lately and I didn't want to make things worse, I was just doing what I thought was best for you and I'm sorry" Anne said.

Phillip took a deep breath, "what happened earlier that caused your seizure?" He asked.

Anne sighed and tightened her grip on his hand, "he tried to-" she trailed off unable to finish that sentence. Unable to say that word.

Phillip's eyes narrowed further, "he tried to what?" He asked a little louder than he had intended to.

Anne flinched slightly and looked at the floor, "he tried to… Rape, me Phil" she said in a voice barely louder than a whisper.

Phillip stood quickly, "he what?" He roared, Anne flinched again, "Phillip please calm down" she tried to pull him back down but he wouldn't budge.

He balled his fists and clenched his jaw, "I'm going to kill him" he growled, he stormed over to the door.

Anne chased after him and threw herself in the way of the door, "Phillip no. You can't, he tried to blackmail me into letting him have his way with me. My mother's alive and he knows where she is" she said.

This only made Phillip more angry, his chest heaved and his eyes burned with fury, "Anne get out of my way. Now" he hissed.

Anne shook her head and crossed her arms, "no. I know you won't hurt me so I'm not moving".

Phillip growled and moved Anne to the side, enough force to get her out his path but gentle enough he didn't hurt her.

He stormed out the door and into the ring, "where is he?" He screamed at no one in particular, Anne in hot pursuit.

She caught his arm and tried to pull him back, "Phillip, you need to calm down right this second. What are you planning to do?" She asked.

He yanked his arm free, "I'm going to hurt him really, really bad" he spat.

W.D who was talking to Lauren nearby looked over, "what the hell is going on?" He asked.

Phillip walked over to W.D and grabbed him by the collar, "tell me where Maurice is right now" he demanded.

W.D looked at Phillip's hand curled around his shirt in shock, "he left when you fired him, what's wrong with you Carlyle?" He asked.

Phillip screamed in anger, pushing W.D back slightly as he let go and began pacing, "fuck! He could be anywhere by now!" He kicked a stage block so hard it hit the stalls.

Lauren held her hands up, "whoa, Maurice is at the bar. He told me he was waiting for Anne there, something about her giving him what she owes him?" She said.

Phillip took a step towards the exit to leave but Anne just about managed to hold him back, "there is no way you're going to the bar, Phillip. Calm down".

Phillip struggled and broke out of her grip storming towards the exit, W.D ran in front of him and stopped him, "right Anne wants you to calm down so just take a deep breath and tell me what's going on" he said calmly.

"That bastard tried to rape Anne!" Phillip screamed before pushing past W.D.

W.D frowned and stared at Anne, "is that true?" He asked angrily.

Anne groaned, "we can talk later, please just help me stop Phillip" she begged.

They both grabbed Phillip by the arms and started to drag him back, he struggled against their grip, "let me go! I'll kill that bastard" he bellowed, trying to pull his arms free.

Anne panted and held him back with both arms as he started to slip out of her grip.

Anne and Phillip were roughly of equal strength but Phillip got freakishly strong when he was angry.

Even W.D was straining a little to hold Phillip back, he threw his entire body weight against the siblings' grip but they held him as tight as they could with him thrashing about the way he was.

"Phillip listen to me! Stop, we can talk about this calmly but just calm down" Anne said.

He shook his head, "Maurice will pay for what he's done" he seethed, "listen to her Carlyle, I'm furious too but if you go down to the bar like this you'll only do something stupid" W.D added.

Phillip shouldered W.D hard causing him to lose his grip and Anne wasn't strong enough to hold Phillip back on her own.

He broke into a run and sprinted out of the theatre and down the street, "Lauren, find Constantine. Tell him he needs to help us with Phillip and we'll explain later" W.D said before he and Anne ran after Phillip.

Phillip was already half way down the docks but luckily for them W.D and Anne were faster than Phillip.

W.D grabbed his arms forcing them behind his back and Anne stopped in front of him, her hands raised in a way you might try to calm a scared elephant.

Phillip skidded to a stop so he wouldn't hurt Anne, "get the fuck off me, I'm going to kill Maurice" He screamed at W.D.

W.D tightened his grip on Phillip's arms, "not until you calm down".

Anne grabbed Phillip's face and began stroking her hand through his hair, "Phillip Samuel Carlyle, I am your fiancée and you will listen to me _right now_!" Anne raised her voice slightly.

He looked at her angrily but said nothing, "you're not going anywhere until you calm down. Go back to the circus, we will talk about what happened but you need to _stay calm_ " she ordered.

Phillip tried to stare her down but Anne gave him her best stern look and he sighed, "fine" he grumbled.

Anne nodded to W.D and they slowly let Phillip go, he didn't run off or try to push past them to the bar but just kicked at the floor.

He went to turn around when Constantine came walking towards them, "what is going on? Lauren said Phillip was angry and needed restraining?" He asked.

"Something happened with Maurice and Phillip kinda lost it a bit" W.D explained.

Phillip made a rumbling sound in his throat as he pulled at his tie, "Anne is my fiancée and I will not let some schmutz come along and try to take her away from me".

Anne laughed, "schmutz?" She asked, Phillip sighed, "oh whatever!" He complained before going to storm off.

Anne grabbed his arm, "I was just pulling your leg, that's very sweet, have we calmed down now?" She asked.

He shot daggers at her but nodded, "yes" he said begrudgingly, Anne kissed his cheek and took his hand, "good, let's go home and talk".

She had just lead Phillip up the path to the circus when there was a wolf whistle behind them, "you look so good when you walk baby girl" Maurice said.

Phillip tensed up, Anne held his hand tighter, "get lost Maurice" she spat over her shoulder.

She pulled on Phillip's hand but he stood dead in his tracks, W.D and Constantine exchanged nervous looks before taking a few steps closer to Phillip.

Maurice strutted towards them, "oh come on, I'll be quick, hey Philly why don't you just give me two minutes alone with Anne here" he smirked.

Phillip pulled his hand free and turned around, "what did you just say?" He seethed.

Maurice scoffed then looked at Anne biting his lip, lust in his eyes, "what? Did your oh so loyal fiancée not tell you about when we made out and I kissed down her neck, my hands-" he teased.

Phillip lunged forward, "I'll kill you!" He screamed cutting Maurice off, immediately W.D and Constantine grabbed Phillip and held him back.

Phillip threw himself against their arm as he struggled to break off, his arm twitched as he tried to free it so he could punch Maurice.

Maurice just laughed, "what're you gonna do whitey? You're puny and weak, that's why you will do nothing to stop me when I make Anne mine" he leered.

Phillip roared and struggled harder, "let me go" his voice broke, his throat raw from all the screaming.

Anne stormed towards Maurice, "that is enough! You need to get it in your head, I don't want you. What you did was not okay. _No_ means _no_ " she said angrily.

Maurice snorted, "you're a woman, it doesn't matter what you say. I _will_ make you mine, I don't care what he says" he grabbed Anne's face.

Phillip bellowed in rage and threw W.D and Constantine off so hard they both landed in the dirt.

Phillip pushed Maurice back, "don't you touch her" he spat. Maurice was completely unaffected, he spread his arms and smiled, "come on then white boy, you want to fight? Let's fight".

Phillip threw a punch at Maurice but he caught it easily with his hand, pushing Phillip back so he stumbled, "ha you're so wimpy, this'll be easy" he cracked his knuckles.

Anne tried to grab Phillip's arm again but he shook her off and charged forward, he tried to throw another punch but Maurice easily dodged it and punched Phillip hard in the gut.

He doubled over in pain, gasping as all the wind was knocked out of him. W.D and Constantine got up and tried to restrain Phillip again but Maurice held up his hand, "let the man fight. He wants to defend his woman so bad, let him" he said.

Phillip straightened up quickly throwing a punch to Maurice's face, he hit his nose with a satisfying crack, Maurice dabbed at his nose and growled. He kicked Phillip in the groin and punched him in the face.

Phillip let out a high squeal when Maurice kicked him where the sun don't shine, he fell to his knees nursing his injury, "man down" he wheezed.

Maurice dusted off his shoulders, "that ended a lot quicker than I expected" he laughed, he picked Phillip's head up and punched it until Phillip's face was bloody and bruised. He threw him back in the dirt and laughed.

Phillip felt like he'd been ran over by a parade, he looked at Anne as he lay in the dirt feeling weak and broken.

She rushed to him and helped him up, "come on baby, let's go home" she said dabbing at Phillip's face with her sweatband.

Phillip shook his head and stumbled from the exertion of it, "this isn't over" he said.

He staggered slowly over to Maurice and tapped his shoulder, when he turned Phillip threw one last punch, putting all his weight behind it.

He must've caught Maurice by surprise because he barely had time to react, he fell to the floor and groaned with pain.

Phillip straddled him and punched at his face again, " _this_ is for trying to steal my fiancée" he said punching Maurice again.

"and _this_ is for trying to rape her you piece of shit" he punched him again.

Phillip must've blacked out because he was suddenly being pulled off Maurice, his face pooling with blood having been knocked out cold.

Phillip's knuckles were swollen and covered in blood, who's blood he didn't quite know.

W.D dragged Phillip away from him with strong arms, "he's had enough Carlyle" he muttered calmly.

Phillip's eyes stayed on Maurice, his face was almost unrecognisable, his eyes turning a black shade of purple, his lip split open and pouring with blood, his nose bent beyond out of shape.

Anne ignored Maurice and turned to Phillip, she and W.D hauled him to his feet, "are you okay?" Anne fussed, checking him over with her hands for injury.

Phillip winced as she touched his hands, she turned them over and saw the state his knuckles were in, "oh you idiot" she gasped.

Phillip turned his head and groaned in pain again, "come on, let's get you cleaned up" she said, she kissed his hand softly careful to not hurt him and lead him back to the circus.

They just left Maurice unconscious in the dirt, "he'll come around sooner or later, leave the bastard" Constantine scoffed.

Phillip and Anne had a long serious talk ahead of them.


	65. Maurice Reveals Where Dangarembga is

Anne held Phillip's hand as she explained what happened, when she recounted what Maurice had done to her she began to cry and Phillip pulled her into his lap immediately to comfort her.

She buried her face in his neck and breathed in Phillip's familiar scent, she felt comforted by this and took a deep breath, "I'm so sorry" she sniffed.

Phillip rubbed her back as he held her, "what're you sorry for? What happened wasn't your fault".

Anne shut her eyes as hot tears spilled down her cheeks and dampened Phillip's shirt, "I kissed another man, he nearly…" Anne couldn't finish the sentence, fresh sobs filled the air.

Phillip pressed his lips to her hair, a small yet sweet gesture, "it wasn't your fault, I don't blame you for what happened, just like you didn't blame me for Margaux" he said.

Anne pulled away and looked at him with teary eyes, "oh god, is this how it feels?" She asked, Phillip gave her a sad look as he nodded, "I'm afraid so, but it'll get better".

He wiped her tears gently away with his thumb, "I feel so violated, like I want to burn my skin off because it's no longer mine. How long does it take for this to go away?" Anne asked.

Phillip took her hands again, "a while, but I'll help you. I'm sorry I got so angry Anne, I just didn't want you to go through what I went through with Margaux. You've been through far too much and I just wish I could shelter you from all the pain and the evil in the world. I can't stand the thought that I can't" he whispered.

Anne cupped his cheek, "I know exactly how you feel, I can remember how angry I felt when I saw Margaux on top of you like that. The only reason I held you back with Maurice is we still need information from him, I need to find my mother".

Phillip nodded, "we will. We're going to get the information from Maurice and we're going to save her. Everything's going to be okay" he promised, Anne smiled weakly.

She leaned forward and kissed Phillip gingerly, she was scared kissing him would bring flashbacks from Maurice or fill her with the same panic and fear she had felt.

He kissed back, softly and slowly, understanding how unsure she was feeling. Anne was surprised when she felt none of those things, instead she felt the familiar warmth she felt when was with Phillip.

She pulled away and smiled, showing Phillip she was okay. He looked to their door, "what're we going to do with Maurice?" He asked.

Anne felt the bad feelings wash over her again, she took a shuddering breath, "I don't know, we need to bring him inside again, when he wakes up somehow we need to get him to talk" she sighed.

"Maybe W.D and Constantine should do it, I'm still pretty mad" Phillip laughed but she could hear the seriousness in his tone, Anne nodded, "come on" she stood and led him out the door.

W.D and Constantine stood close by as they waited for Anne and Phillip to come out. When they opened the door both men rushed towards them, "so?" W.D asked.

Anne sighed, "Maurice knows where mama is, we need to get him to talk so could you and Constantine take him to Phillip's office and wait for him to come around?" She asked.

W.D nodded, "of course, what happened?" He asked, Anne hugged herself, "I don't want to talk about it, Phillip can tell you, excuse me" she said quietly before she pushed past them and disappeared into the circus.

The men turned to Phillip, "what happened?" Constantine asked, Phillip took a deep breath, "he said he would take Anne to your mother for a price, her. He pushed her against the stands and forced his hands up her shirt. He also forcefully kissed her and her neck, she tried to attack him to escape but he's faster and stronger than her so he started to choke her and tried to undress her, he would've overpowered her if she hadn't attacked him again and screamed for help" Phillip explained.

W.D clenched his fists, "did he touch her?" He asked angrily, Phillip nodded, "according to Anne he forced his hands up her shirt and grabbed her chest. He also tried to pull her shorts off of her but she fought against him".

Constantine stared at the floor in anger. Anne was like a little sister to him, he had never had a sibling until he met Anne and W.D and now they were his family.

He was furious at the thought of some man violating his little sister against her will, he was usually a very calm man he rarely lost his temper but hearing what Phillip had said he shook with anger.

"Let's just take a moment to calm down, let it sink in and relax. I'm angry too but we need to get information from Maurice" Phillip said.

W.D gritted his teeth and nodded, "I say we bring him in now, me and Constantine just need to get him inside. Anne said nothing about gently, right Constantine?" He said.

Constantine cracked his knuckles, "right. Let's go get that bastard" he growled.

Phillip followed them as they stormed outside to where Maurice lay unconscious, W.D and Constantine grabbed him roughly by the shoulders and dragged him inside.

He came around during the ordeal, "wha- what's going on?" He asked, Constantine shook his arm violently, "quiet" he ordered.

Maurice looked at W.D, "where are you guys taking me? Come on D, we're friends".

W.D glared down at Maurice, if looks could kill Maurice would be a pile of ash, "we were friends. Before you tried to rape my little sister you lowlife freak" he spat.

They threw him onto the floor of Phillip's office, stepping aside to let Phillip through, he grabbed him by the chest and shoved into his chair.

Maurice looked startled despite the fact Phillip was smaller than him, "where is she?" Phillip ordered.

Maurice looked at W.D and Constantine who stood, arms crossed behind Phillip, "who?" He asked.

Phillip snarled, "don't play dumb with me, Anne and W.D's mother, Dangarembga Wheeler" he demanded.

He turned to W.D, "did I say that right?" He asked, he nodded silently. Phillip turned back to Maurice, "answer me" he screamed.

Maurice pushed Phillip away from him, "I ain't telling you, cracker". Phillip fell back and was caught by W.D and Constantine.

W.D stepped forward fist raised, "don't you push my brother" he warned.

Phillip looked at W.D with awe, he just called him his brother. He shook his head, wrong time to feel sentimental.

Maurice flinched, "okay, okay! I'll tell you, don't hurt me" he said quickly, W.D lowered his fists, "where's my mother?" He asked dangerously calm.

Maurice took a deep breath, "she's at the Zidane manor, it's in the centre of New Orleans in the rich part" he said.

W.D frowned, "are you sure? Because if you're lying to us-" Maurice shook his head frantically, "I'm not lying man. She's working for the Zidane family, as what I don't know, I can take you there" he promised.

W.D looked to Phillip and Constantine, "what do you think?" He asked, Constantine stroked his beard, "we shall call the police, have Maurice arrested for what he has done. Phillip can take you there, if Maurice is lying then you shall come back and interrogate him some more" he suggested.

W.D looked to Phillip, "would you be willing to take Anne and I to New Orleans?" He asked.

Phillip nodded, "of course, there's just one problem" he said, W.D cocked his head, "what?" He asked, "firstly we don't know where the manor is exactly. Secondly you're asking me to take two black people to a household with slaves and somehow take your mother away from her master?" He asked.

W.D sighed, "you're right, we need a plan".

Phillip grimaced, "I may have a plan but you won't like it" he said carefully, W.D narrowed his eyes, "what is it?" He asked.

"You and Anne pose as my slaves, I can go to the manor and buy your mother off her master and then we bring her back here safely" he said.

W.D's hand clenched, he felt humiliated and undignified but Phillip's plan was probably the best way they had, "you're right. I don't like it, but it'll be our best chance".

He turned back to Maurice, "you're going to tell us exactly where she is and how to find her as we wait for the cops to arrive, got it?" He asked.

Maurice nodded, "okay" he answered shakily.


	66. Yes Master

Phillip and W.D stood in front of Anne in their room, W.D figured it would be best if he was there whilst Phillip explained to her the plan.

Anne stood from the bed slowly, regarding the solemn looks on their faces, "so did you find out where mama is?" She asked, Phillip stepped forward, "we did" he answered apprehensively.

She frowned, "then what's with the long faces? Did Maurice say something?" She asked.

W.D shook his head, "we have a plan, but it won't be pleasant or easy" he said, Anne looked between Phillip and W.D, her frown deepening, "okay, what's the plan?" She asked slowly.

Phillip winced as if he were in pain, "I need you and W.D to pose as my slaves, so it won't raise suspicion, that way I can protect you" he said.

Anne felt as if she had had ice cold water thrown over her, she closed her mouth and looked at Phillip in shock.

When she didn't speak W.D stepped next to Phillip, "I know, I felt the same way but if it means saving mama it's worth it" he said.

Anne looked down at her hands as she let the thought sink in, it would look odd to see a white man go to a household accompanied by two black siblings in New Orleans and attempt to take another black person.

It would make more sense if they claimed Phillip was their master, that way it would simply look like a powerful white man who was out buying slaves from the market.

She didn't like it, not one bit but it was a sound plan. Phillip took her hand, "it'll only be when we're in New Orleans" he reasoned.

Anne slouched her shoulders, "yes master" she sighed in resignation, he cringed "I hate that" he groaned, "we all do, but it's our only option" W.D said.

Anne ignored the sick feeling she felt in her stomach as she called her own fiancée master, a word she hadn't had to call any man for a long time let alone the man she loved, "so when do we leave?" She asked.

Phillip shook his head, "I'm not sure, I'll need P.T to cover me for as long as we're gone and with Maurice gone I'm not sure if Lauren will stay too" he worried.

W.D looked at Anne, "we'll need to buy new clothes" he said, she nodded, "we can do that first thing tomorrow morning" she agreed.

Phillip frowned at them, "why? What's wrong with the clothes you have?" He asked, Anne looked at him expectantly, "our clothes are too good for a slave Phil".

Her words ran chills down her spine and shivers through his body, he looked down "right, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking" he murmured apologetically.

W.D cleared his throat in discomfort, "you do realise you'll have to…" he struggled to choke out the words, he felt so ashamed and embarrassed about the whole situation.

Anne looked down as she realised what W.D would say, "you're going to have to hit me and Anne" he said through clenched teeth.

Anne took her brother's hand, stroking it in an attempt to comfort him.

Phillip stared at the two in shock, "no. No way. I'm not hitting either of you" he said firmly, shaking his head.

Anne looked so dejected and upset, he hated it. "Phillip you're going to have to, you don't have a choice. If people get suspicious our lives could be in danger, what would you rather you hit me or have me hung?" She asked bluntly.

W.D nodded angrily, "she's right. New Orleans is far worse than here, if you think it's bad in New York you'll hate New Orleans. Me and Anne can be killed if people don't like the look of us" he said bitterly.

Phillip protested, "no! You can't ask me to hit Anne, I love her! I won't do it" he said adamantly.

Anne growled in frustration, not at him but at the situation, "Phillip. Listen to me. I hate it, I've been free for the past 5 years and the thought of becoming a slave again, even if it's just pretend. It makes me skin crawl, _I hate it_. But we need to save my mama, and you _have_ to commit to your role. From now on until we find mama you are my master Phillip. You are no longer the man I love, you're no longer my fiancée. You cannot show any sign at all that you care for me. To you I am _nothing_. I am less than nothing, I am a filthy fucking nigger and you don't give a shit whether I live or die. You will hit me and you call me whatever degrading name you can. If you treat me with any respect at all I could be killed, _so don't say you love me. Don't look at me with that look in your eye. Don't treat me like a person because from now on I'm your property_ , got it?" She asked angrily.

He clenched his jaw, she could see how badly he wanted to protest but her words had hit him like a brick wall.

He finally realised the severity of the whole situation, if he didn't treat Anne and W.D like dirt they could die.

With every fibre in his body fighting against him he looked at Anne with as much hatred in his eyes he could muster, "shut the fuck up nigger" he spat.

W.D patted his shoulder sensing his distress but Phillip turned and walked away, he shook with anger.

He hated himself for what he'd done, the trip that lay ahead of them would not be easy for him.

He punched the wall in anger before he stormed out of the room, he needed to clear his head, he couldn't stand to think about how he would have to hurt Anne for days on end.

Anne flinched at his words, she saw the hatred in his eyes and even though she knew it was fake it broke her heart.

Phillip's body tensed with anger, she looked to W.D who watched her with concern, she flicked her eyes towards Phillip and he nodded.

He laid his hand on his shoulder and opened his mouth to speak but Phillip lowered his eyes to the floor and jerked his shoulder away.

Anne watched as he stormed away, punching the wall hard enough to crack it before he disappeared out the door, "Phillip…" W.D called after him.

It was rare W.D called him Phillip but there were some moments that warranted a little more sensitivity and caution.

Anne shook her head, "he's got a bad temper, especially when it comes to me getting hurt. Leave him to calm down, I'll give him some space then go find him" she sighed.

W.D grabbed her shoulder, searching her eyes, "are you okay?" He asked, Anne shook her head, "I hate the plan, I never want to call anyone master again. It hurts Phillip treating me like that, I know it ain't real and it hurts him too but it feels too real" she said.

W.D pulled her sister in for a hug, "this is going to hurt you a lot more than it's going to hurt me, you need to prepare yourself".

She nodded against his chest, "I can't believe we're going to see mama again" she whispered.

Although she had been a slave until she was 17 her mother had "died" when she was only 9, after she had escaped the first time they had been caught by another white man where she was enslaved for 8 more years, Maurice had helped her, W.D and Lauren escape again. This time Anne and W.D fled from New Orleans as soon as they could.

The thought of seeing her mother again after 13 years filled Anne with anticipation, despite the gruelling experience she would have to face the day couldn't come soon enough for her.


	67. Maurice Gets Arrested

Anne set out to find where Phillip had gone to calm down when the cops filed into the circus, "Lettie" she gasped.

She sprinted to her friend's room as fast as she could, Lettie sat on her bed fixing a dress.

She looked at Anne in surprise as she burst in the room, slamming her back to the door, "Anne, what is it?" She asked in concern.

Anne looked manic with her eyes wide in fear and panting heavily, "the cops are here" she breathed.

Lettie's eyes widened, she began to shake. She rushed to her feet, "I need to get out of here, what do we do?" She asked.

Josephine sat on the other bed looking startled, "what's going on?" She asked, Anne pushed Lettie's trunk against the door, "no time to explain" she said.

Lettie began to panic, she ran to her drawers and pulled out a pre-packed bag, Anne wondered how long she had had that for, "I might be able to escape through the window" she muttered.

Anne took Josephine's chest and piled it atop of Lettie's, creating a make-shift barricade, "who else knows?" She asked.

Lettie shook her head, "nobody, I don't know how they found out" she panted, she began to hyperventilate.

Anne ran over to her friend, "this is goodbye then. You need to get out of here and fast, don't let them get you. Travel in the shadow of the back alleys until you get to the station, don't bother buying a ticket just stowaway in the back carriage" she instructed, tears filled her eyes.

Lettie engulfed her in a bone crushing hug, "thank you for everything Anne, you were the greatest best friend a woman could ask for. Good luck with Phillip, you two are going to have beautiful children one day. I give you permission to tell the others the truth when I'm gone, tell Charles first. He'll miss me the most. Goodbye Anne, I love you" she cried.

Anne wiped her tears from her friend's cheeks as her own began to fall from her eyes, "goodbye Lettie, be safe. I love you too" she said before she pushed Lettie towards the bathroom.

Josephine watched the two in stunned silence, "what the hell is going on?" She demanded, Anne ran and covered her mouth "shh, they're out there. They'll hear you" she said.

The bathroom door closed as Lettie ran inside, in the silence Anne could hear the cops' muffled voices, "you're under arrest, you have the right to remain silent, dirtbag" a voice said.

Anne frowned, "Lettie wait!" She hissed quietly, the shaky breathing from inside the bathroom stopped, she heard quick footsteps as she ran back into the room as silently as possible, "what?" She asked.

Anne pointed to the door, one finger over her lips. They listened to the voices outside the door, "get off of me!" Maurice screamed.

Lettie sighed in relief, "they're not here for me" she said, Anne rushed to the door, pulling the trunks out of the way.

They fell with a clatter but the three women ignored them as they rushed into the ring.

Maurice was being restrained against the floor by 4 large cops, his hands were forced behind his back and one cop held his head to the floor roughly as Maurice struggled against them.

"Stop struggling!" Another cop ordered, "I will not go down like this" Maurice roared, W.D watched the scene angrily, Lauren stood next to him with a horrified expression on her face.

The oddities had began to crowd around the ring to watch the scene before them, Maurice looked at Anne as he tried to fight off the police officers, "Anne! Help!" He begged.

Anne stormed forward so she stood next to her brother, "rot in hell" she spat at him.

Maurice was lifted off the ground and forced to his feet, he looked over his shoulder at Anne as he was dragged away, "I will have you baby! This ain't over yet! I will kill tha-" He screamed after her before a cop punched him in the jaw and forced his head forward.

Then he was gone. Lauren stared at the ring in shock, "what…" she muttered, "the bastard tried to rape me" Anne said angrily before she took Lettie by the arm and led her away.

They went back to Lettie's room, Josephine following. Anne and Lettie sat on her bed, Josephine on hers, "what do you want to do now?" Anne asked.

Lettie looked at Josephine nervously, "well she knows, it's only a matter of time now. I'm going to have to come out" she shivered.

Anne rubbed her arm, "we love you Lettie, everyone will accept you for who you are. You're our family Lets, it's going to be okay" she said.

Josephine frowned, "what's going on?" She asked impatiently, now for the third time.

Lettie looked at Anne and took a deep breath, "I'm a lesbian" she said quietly, Josephine's brows shot up like a bullet.

She looked at her with surprise before she shut her mouth again, realising she had been rude, "oh uh, right. Okay" Josephine stammered.

Anne took Lettie's hand, "and that's fine isn't it?" She prompted, Josephine nodded vigorously, "yes, of course. It doesn't matter who you love, you are who you are" she said quickly.

Lettie exhaled, "thank you, you're the fourth person that knows, Anne is the only one from here" she said.

Anne remembered she had been going to find Phillip, "okay, I need to find Phillip, if you're ready we can call a meeting tomorrow?" She asked.

Lettie frowned at the floor but she nodded, "it's better I tell them sooner rather than later, do you really think it'll be okay?" She asked.

Anne nodded, "of course it will, I'll leave you two to talk" she said, Lettie smiled unsurely at her, "thank you Anne" she said, Anne returned her smile before she left.

She didn't hesitate, she went straight to the closet she and Phillip had hidden in a few months ago when they had played hide and seek with the Barnum girls.

Anne had since learnt Phillip would hide there whenever he needed space, whether he was angry or stressed or overwhelmed or upset she could always find him in the supplies closet.

She opened the door and immediately heard his soft breathing, "Phillip?" She called, "come in" he said in a quiet voice.

She shut the door behind her and crawled through the hole to find Phillip sat with his knees tucked to his chest.

His face illuminated in the warm orange gas lamp he had lit in the centre of the floor, he was sat in the usual little bed of clothes and ropes he had made.

Anne crawled next to him, "are you okay?" She asked, he sighed and looked away, "I don't like it" he said.

Anne waited for him to continue, "I hate how you're treated here, if what W.D said is true it's only going to be worse for you in New Orleans. That'll be difficult enough for me to handle, every time I see you hurting I just want to fix it and take away your pain. But when I called you… _That_ , it broke my heart. Everything in me protested, how am I going to be able to treat you like that for the entire time we're gone. I love you, I don't want to hurt you".

Anne sat next to him and took his hand, she wasn't sure what to say. The trip wouldn't be easy for any of them, "I miss my mama and daddy constantly, I lost them when I was far too young. Now I've been told she's alive, after 13 years of mourning, I lost her when I was 9 Phillip. I'll do whatever it takes to get her back and I need you to help me Phil, I know it's going to be tough but we have to do it. If it'll help you through it just remember it ain't real. I'm going to be your wife and I love you, I'm a tough girl, I can take you hitting me and you can't say anything I ain't never heard before. It's okay" she said.

Phillip kissed her hand, "I'm so sorry I called you a nigger" he murmured, Anne forced a laugh, "don't be, you're gonna have to call me worse things on this trip. But it's not real" she reminded him.

He shook his head, "no, it's not. I love you so much, please remember even when I hit you, I would never purposefully hurt you. Ever. I love you" he said.

Anne brought her hand to his face and pulled him closer to him, "I love you too baby" she whispered, he leaned into her touch and rested his head against hers.

She stroked the back of his head as they sat there together, "do you think we should go?" Anne asked.

He shook his head, "no, stay here with me. Forget the world, just for a while" he begged.

Anne smiled, "forget the world" she repeated, he stretched out his leg, one either side of her and pulled her closer.

She giggled as he embraced her warmly, his head resting on her shoulder, "this is nice, I wish we could do this more often" he sighed.

Anne turned her head, her hand still caressing his cheek, "why can't we?" She asked, before she kissed him, feeling a lot better having done so.


	68. Lettie Comes Out To The Circus

Anne called for a meeting the next morning as she promised, she waited with Lettie as she tried to calm her down.

She began pacing back and forth in front of Anne anxiously, "I can't tell them, w-what if they call the cops? I'll be killed Anne, I'm not ready to die" she hyperventilated.

Anne stood up, stopping her in her traps, "Lettie?" She said to get her attention, Lettie didn't look at her but just kept panicking so Anne grabbed her arms, "Lettie, just breathe okay? Nobody is going to call the cops" she promised.

Lettie shook her head, "you don't know that, I'm gay Anne!" She panted, "and that's okay. It doesn't matter who you love, love is love why doesn't it matter who it is? I felt the same way about Phillip when I first fell for him and do you remember what you told me?" Anne asked.

Lettie shook her head but began to take deep breaths, "you told me you should never be ashamed of who you love and if you love someone that's all that matters. Take your own advice Lets, live your truth. Nobody in this circus is going to hate you for that, we love you. You're like a sister Lets, I'm not going to let anyone hurt you" Anne said.

Lettie laughed breathlessly, "you're right, I'm being crazy, we're a family here, right?", Anne nodded and smiled, "right, everything's going to be okay. Gay, straight or anything in between it doesn't matter".

Anne pulled her in for a hug which Lettie graciously accepted, "okay, I'm ready, let's do this" she said.

Anne took her hand as they walked into the ring where the oddities had gathered, Lettie let go of Anne's hand as she walked to the front giving her best friend a grateful smile.

Anne went to stand with Phillip, "what's this about? Do you know?" He whispered, Anne nodded, "Lettie's got a big announcement" she whispered back.

Lettie cleared her throat as she stood in front of all her family, "hey guys, so I know you're wondering why I called for an emergency meeting but I have something to tell you" she said.

Charles frowned, "what is it? Is everything okay?" He asked, he had always been close with Lettie and he may not be the most serious member of the circus but deep down he cared deeply for his friends.

Lettie took a deep breath, "everything is fine, but I've got some pretty big news. Now before I tell you I need to stress that this can't leave the room, this could get me into some serious trouble. It doesn't change who I am but you really cannot tell anyone outside of this room" she said.

Constantine took Lettie's shoulder, "of course, what is it? You can tell us anything" he said.

Lettie nodded and looked at Anne, she gave her an encouraging smile, "okay so I'm just going to come out with it… I'm a lesbian" Lettie said shakily.

A stunned silence took over the room, Charles was the first thing to speak, "you like women?" He asked, Lettie looked down and nodded, "oh, okay. That's fine" he shrugged.

Lettie frowned, "it is?" She asked, he nodded, "who's to tell you who you can love, we don't care right guys?" He turned on the others, there were a chorus of no's and cheers.

Phillip left Anne's side and walked up to Lettie, "it doesn't matter okay? I'm proud of you for telling us, that must've been hard but you're family. Nobody tells anyone, you hear me? If anyone in this room calls the cops I will fire you on the spot alright? We accept you for who you are, we still love you" he said before he hugged her.

She teared up as she hugged Phillip back, "you're a good kid Carlyle" she sniffed, "I'm real proud of you Lettie, that took guts" W.D said.

Constantine nodded, "let us give it up for Lettie!" He yelled, all the oddities cheered and crowded around Lettie in a group hug.

She laughed as she wiped away her tears, "thanks guys" she laughed, Anne rubbed her back, "I told you" she whispered, winking at Lettie rewarding another a laugh, "thank you Anne, I couldn't have done this without you" she whispered back.

Anne tapped her face with her fist, "you're family, and family stick together" she smiled, Lettie hugged her tighter as she felt the worries ease away.

She felt a massive weight light off her shoulders, like she was a thousand pounds lighter having told them all.

She spent the next hour explaining to them all and answering any questions they had for her, "so how long have you known?" Frederic asked.

Lettie shrugged, "all my life I guess, I've always loved women, I fell in love a long time ago with this woman I worked with Angela, but she didn't feel the same, my father found out and he was of course ashamed to have a queer daughter. He said he wouldn't call the police if I left and never came back, I haven't seen him since" she said.

Charles frowned, "what a wandought, you are who you are you should never have to be ashamed of who you are" he said, "thanks Charles" Lettie said, he nodded respectfully to her.

Constantine frowned, "so what does it mean for you? Obviously you can never legally get married but will you try and find love? Can you still have kids?" He asked.

Lettie sighed, "honestly, I have no idea. I need to be careful, if I fall for the wrong woman it can get me killed, I can adopt children but as for finding love" she said, she looked at Josephine who smiled back at her, "I don't know" Lettie mumbled.


	69. The Journey Begins

Phillip was awake early the morning he, Anne and W.D would have to leave for their trip. He wanted to spend some alone time with Anne before he had to treat her like shit with her brother all week.

Anne lay awake staring at the ceiling in the dark as she tugged at her hair nervously, Phillip knew how anxious she was leading up to their trip.

He rolled over and spooned her lovingly, his arms wrapping around her stomach. She just assumed he was asleep as he pulled her into his chest so she shuffled back and settled more comfortably into Phillip's chest before she returned to her worrying.

It wasn't uncommon for Phillip to cuddle up to her in his sleep, she found it endearing and cute.

Phillip was very intimate, he liked contact from cuddling at night in bed to quick hugs when he found Anne practicing during the day, sometimes it would just be an absent hand on her leg. He just liked to feel her next to him, to know she was there.

Phillip opened his eyes, Anne had thought he was still asleep, he frowned at this and so kissed her cheek, "good morning love" he whispered huskily, not yet fully awake.

Anne smiled weakly, "I didn't think you'd be awake this early" she said, Phillip hummed as he pressed another kiss to her cheek, "I wanted to show you how much I love you before we have to go away".

She sighed, "this trip is going to be difficult" she said wearily, "I know, but we'll get through it, just think this time next week we'll be home again and you'll have your mother back" he said, trying to lift her spirits.

"I can't believe I'm going to see her again after all this time, it's been 13 years" she said happily.

Phillip mirrored her smile and hugged her tighter but a few seconds later the smile fell from his face and was replaced with a frown, "Anne?" He asked.

Anne turned her head to look at him, humming in response. She stopped smiling when she saw the serious expression on his face, "your mother…" Phillip said licking his lips.

He thought carefully about how to propose his question, "her first impression of me is going to be me buying her, I won't be able to explain until after we get on the train. I don't think she'll exactly approve of our relationship, W.D didn't" he said.

Anne winced and took a deep breath, "here's the thing" she began, "oh god" Phillip muttered burying his head in her neck.

She lifted his chin so he would look at her, "you know I love you dearly Phil but you're right, mama will be sceptical. It's not your fault, she's gone through a lot, she might be grateful to see me and D again but I honestly don't know how she'll react to me being engaged with a white man" she said cautiously.

Phillip groaned, it had taken him so long to win W.D's trust and now he would have to gain Anne's mothers too, he would do whatever it would take to get her to trust him of course but he knew it wouldn't be easy.

Anne turned so she could face Phillip, "you know race doesn't matter to me, I'd love you no matter what colour you were but mama and W.D were taken from their home in Africa when W.D was only 3 years old. They were shoved on a slave ship where most of them didn't make it out alive, they didn't speak English or understand what was going on. Mama has been enslaved since and she's been so much, it was because of a white man she had her children taken from her. It might take her a little longer to understand that not all white folk are bad, just give her time baby".

Phillip wriggled into her grip again, causing her to laugh "I don't want to hurt you" he complained, she kissed the top of his head and ran her hands through his hair, "I know, but it's okay. It's only a week and then you can be as cute and loving as you want" she said wrapping her arm around his shoulders.

He sighed, "I love you" he said lifting his head so he could kiss her, "I love you too" she laughed before she could kiss him.

"Now let's just enjoy the little time we have left before I become your slave" Anne said attempting at a joke but Phillip could hear the poorly concealed reluctance in her voice.

Phillip lay in Anne's arms and let her go on about their wedding whilst she combed her fingers through his hair. He tried to keep up but there was so many details and the steady beat of her heart along with her sweet melodious voice made Phillip feel sleepy.

But it didn't feel like long before there was a knock at the door, "Anne? You guys awake yet?" W.D asked, Phillip sighed and rested his head on Anne's chest, "yeah, come on in" Anne called.

W.D walked in holding up Anne's slave clothes, "here, put these on" he tossed her the clothes. She wrinkled her nose as she caught the grimy clothes, she and W.D had put a lot of effort into making them appear as slave like as they possibly could.

They bought the cheapest, lowest quality clothes several sizes too big for them so they would look skinnier, they then dragged the clothes through the mud, literally, and tore holes in them. They also hadn't washed for the week leading up to today so they looked filthy and unkempt.

Anne's hair was greasy and unbrushed, W.D hadn't shaved his face and so had grown out his stubble. They both had stayed up late at night and woke earlier so they looked tired and worked out extra hard that week so they smelled pretty sharp.

Anne hauled herself out of bed, "thanks W.D, I'll be ready in 5" she said, he nodded, "and no more lovey dovey crap. We need to get into our roles, master" W.D said to Phillip.

He held his hand to his face but nodded, "now get out of my room slave" he ordered.

Anne dressed silently, Phillip could see the growing disgust on her face, she hated feeling so unclean and dirty. She hated looking like a slave again. Staring at herself in the mirror she looked exactly how she had looked a few years ago.

She looked like the girl who was nothing again, she looked like the girl who didn't have a penny to her name again. She looked like the girl that didn't matter, all she had was her brother and her shawl.

Phillip dressed in his smartest clothes, he had to show off his status, show he was important and rich enough to own slaves.

He sighed, "Anne", she turned to look at him, her eyes wouldn't quite meet his, "yes?" She asked quietly. He wanted to comfort her, wrap his arms around her and tell her it would be okay but he knew he couldn't.

He wouldn't be able to do it that week and he wasn't able to do it now, "don't forget your shawl, the one your mom gave you right?" He asked, she looked at the floor and nodded as she accepted the shawl.

W.D returned 5 minutes later as he said he would, the mood in the room was low and depressing, none of them were looking forward to the task ahead of them.

"Got the tickets?" W.D asked, Phillip pulled out 4 train tickets from his suit jacket, 3 returns and a one-way ticket from New Orleans to New York for Dangarembga.

Anne looked at her brother, he held the same solemn expression she did, "right, let's go" she said, "wait" Phillip said.

He opened one of his desk drawers and pulled out an assortment of breakfast foods, "eat these, I'm not sure how often you'll be able to eat this week" he said.

W.D nodded and accepted his share, "thanks" he mumbled. They walked out into the ring where their friends all waited to wish them luck.

Lettie ran forward and hugged Anne, "you better be careful out there, I love you" she said, Anne just nodded, "I love you too Lets, everything will be okay" she said unconvincingly.

Constantine stepped forward and offered W.D his hand, "be safe out there my friend, look after yourself, all of you" he said. W.D looked fiercely at his friend as they shook hands, "take care of the circus when we're gone, huh? No fires whilst we're away" he joked.

Phillip took a hesitant step toward P.T and Charity, Charity was already tearing up and he could see the emotion in P.T's eyes.

He worried if he hugged them he might cry, he was stressed and worried and uncomfortable about everything and he could never hide his emotions from his adoptive parents.

Charity wrapped her arms around Phillip's neck, "oh Phillip, please come home safe, all of you, I'd hate it if something happened" she cried, he could feel her tears on his neck, he hugged her tightly whilst he ignored his own tears welling up behind his eyes, "don't worry, nothing's going to happen, I'll bring them home in one piece, don't you worry about me mom" Phillip joked.

Charity laughed, "you're a smart guy, you'll be okay" she said, mostly for her than Phillip. She finally let him go and wiped at her eyes.

Phillip turned to P.T, he looked at Phillip with such respect "come here son" he told Phillip opening his arms to him.

Phillip hugged him so hard he stumbled, "you're going to be okay, I know you are. You've got a good head on your shoulders and the Wheelers are a tough pair. Just make sure you come back home to us son" P.T said.

Phillip sniffed, "I will, just in case, give the girls a hug from their uncle Phillip for me, won't you?" He asked.

P.T held him at arm's length, "no and you know why? Because you're going to give them that hug yourself when you come home, because you _will_ come home" he said.

Phillip nodded, "okay" he said, he wiped at his eyes quickly feeling a little embarrassed that he cried, "well we better get going, we don't want to miss the train" he said turning back to Anne and W.D.

Their friends wished them luck and said goodbye before the three walked out of the circus and began their walk to the train station.

The train station wasn't too far from the circus tent and Phillip knew it was pointless to try and call a carriage, it was highly unlikely any driver would stop for them with Anne and W.D dressed the way they were and he didn't want to upset them any further.

They boarded the train silently, thankfully without any problems. From that moment on Anne and W.D would not be able to say a word unless Phillip spoke to them, W.D just fell asleep so he wouldn't yet have to confront the situation.

Anne stared sadly out of the window but Phillip couldn't even look at her, he would have to treat her like she meant nothing to him at all, the furthest thing from the truth but he made himself face forwards.

They had began their difficult journey to save Dangarembga Wheeler and bring her back home again.


	70. The Deadly Train Ride

The train ride from New York to New Orleans was 36 hours long meaning they wouldn't get in until the evening of the following day.

In those 36 hours everything that could go wrong did go wrong, two incidents to be precise that left Anne feeling completely shaken and fearing for her safety.

The first of which was when the train conductor made his rounds to check the tickets, he stopped in front of the three of them and didn't even ask for their tickets.

He just looked at Anne and W.D with disgust, "are these yours?" He asked Phillip, Phillip nodded, "they're my slaves" he replied.

The conductor tutted, "slaves go in economy, we don't have their kind in first" he said grabbing Anne's arm roughly.  
Anne looked to W.D who was still fast asleep, and then at Phillip as she was hauled to her feet.

Phillip fought the anger rising in his chest at the sight of Anne being grabbed so forcefully, "no. These ones stay here, I need them close so they can serve me hand and foot" he demanded.

The conductor scoffed, "it's against our policy, no niggers in first class. Nobody should have to look at them, they're disgusting animals and can ride with the rest of the monkeys. No exceptions".

Phillip regarded the man coldly, "who are you exactly?" He asked, "I will have you know I am the conductor of this train" he said puffing his chest out a bit.

Phillip laughed humourlessly and stood, "the train conductor… Ah how cute, I am Phillip Carlyle. You might've heard of me, I have more money in my wallet right now than you'll ever earn in your whole life. If I want to keep my slaves with me in first class then that's just what I'll do and you're not going to do anything to stop me, got it?" Phillip said threateningly leaning closer to the man with every word.

The conductor's eyes widened when Phillip told him who he was, he nodded frantically, "yes Sir, I apologise sincerely and hope you enjoy the rest of your journey" he said quickly.

He released Anne and bowed lowly to Phillip before he scurried away out of the carriage. Phillip grabbed Anne harshly by the shoulder and shoved her into their compartment again, "sit down and say nothing" Phillip barked.

Anne winced, she hit the wall hard enough to wake W.D up by the sound, she could see Phillip's eyes widen slightly but she was impressed to see he kept his composure. He looked the other way when he sat next to Anne, he couldn't stand to look at her as she nursed her shoulder carefully.

The second incident happened the next day when a little girl and her mother boarded the train, the girl must've recognised Phillip, Anne and W.D from the circus because she gasped as she passed them and craned her head to get a better look.

Anne found herself praying she was just surprised to see black folk in a first-class carriage but of course with her luck that wasn't the case.

The girl decided to unfortunately point out the three of them to her mother whilst the same conductor who had challenged Phillip the day before checked their tickets.

She pulled on her mother's sleeve and pointed to the three of them, "look mommy! It's the people from the circus!" She cried.

Her mother laughed in embarrassment to the conductor, "I'm sorry, I took her to Barnum's circus in New York a week or so ago and she hasn't stopped talking about it since, quiet Susan" she said to the conductor and then hissing to her daughter.

Anne kicked W.D under the table to get his attention, she subtly jerked her head in the girl's direction, fear in her eyes. W.D followed her gaze and swallowed, "head down" he mouthed.

Anne and W.D both sunk lower in their seats and hunched over so their face was as least visible as possible without suspicion. Anne held her breath, unable to breathe as panic seized her chest.

The little girl, seemingly called Susan mustn't have been any older than Helen's age. She pulled on her mother's sleeve more urgently, "but mommy look! Phillip Carlyle's the ringmaster and he's here with his fiancée Anne Wheeler the trapeze artist, her brother too!" She insisted.

Her mother sighed and looked at where she was pointing, she hesitated as she looked at Anne, "conductor, get that thing to sit up straight" she said in disgust.

The conductor turned to Phillip, "you heard her, show them your niggers" he said. Phillip swallowed, "why should I? Do I look the kind of man to be a ringmaster at a filthy circus? She must have me confused with someone else" he argued.

The little girl shook her head, "nuh uh, I saw you at the circus kissing Anne, she's the pretty trapeze artist and she performs with W.D who's sitting right there" she argued.

Phillip laughed, "kiss her? She's my slave, I would never kiss a spook" he sent a hateful glare at Anne as he spoke. Even though she knew it was to throw the girl off it didn't hurt Anne any less.

The girl frowned, "slave? She isn't your slave, she's your girlfriend and I can prove it" she pulled a folded-up piece of paper she handed to the conductor.

The conductor sent an unsure glance at Phillip before he unfolded the paper and studied it, it was a flyer for the circus clearly showing Phillip kissing Anne with the oddities behind them, W.D stood obviously at the front of the troupe. Above the oddities in big golden letters the flyer read "P.T Barnum's circus" and then in slightly smaller print below, "come see New York's first interracial couple".

The conductor turned to Phillip, "she's your slave huh?" He asked, Phillip nodded despite the fact he held a sketch of Phillip kissing Anne in his hands, "show me your ticket" the conductor ordered holding his hand out to Phillip.

Anne looked at W.D, she was fighting the urge to start hyperventilating, he held the same anxious look on his face.

Phillip with trembling hands pulled out his train ticket and handed it to the conductor, "a two-way ticket from New York to Louisiana. It's you, _you're_ the nigger lover, she isn't your slave at all" the conductor growled.

Phillip snatched his ticket back, "fine, I'm not her master, she's going to be my wife and I love her, what are you going to do about it?" He asked.

The conductor smiled nastily, "oh I'll show you exactly what I'm going to do about it" he grabbed Phillip by the collar dragging him out of his seat and throwing him to the floor.

The little girl gasped, "no! Don't hurt him!" She screamed but her mother held her back and told her to be quiet. The conductor kicked Phillip hard in the groin then pulled Anne and W.D to their feet, "Phillip!" Anne cried, she didn't care what would happen to her at that moment in time, all she cared about was Phillip.

He was a crumpled heap on the floor writhing in pain from the blow to his soft spot. The conductor kicked Phillip again, "get up and follow me" he ordered, he shoved Anne and W.D out of the compartment.

Phillip rose unsteadily to his feet and rushed after them as quickly as he could, the conductor forced them to keep walking until they reached the back of the train.

The wind ripped around them as they exited out onto the back platform, there were no railings and the train shook violently as it sped along the train tracks.

The conductor turned to Phillip as he pushed Anne and W.D closer to the edge, "here's what we do to filthy little spooks" he cackled.  
W.D looked at Phillip, fear in his eyes, his body stiff and unmoving, "do whatever he says" he roared over the noise of the train.

"If you really love the mulatto you'll jump after her, now say goodbye" the commander pushed Anne and W.D off the back of the open train.

Phillip screamed and pushed the commander back, jumping after Anne and W.D, he was able to grab Anne and shield her slightly as he pulled her into his arms.  
He tucked and rolled as best as he could, taking most of the blow himself. He hit the train tracks hard, he bounced off the tracks and skidded across the concrete on the left of it.

Anne was practically unhurt, bruised and shaken up but fine. Phillip and W.D weren't so lucky, miraculously they didn't break anything but they were bloodied from the impact of hitting the sidewalk.

Anne wriggled out of Phillip's arms and knelt by his side, "Phillip? Are you alright?" She asked, her voice dripping with concern.  
He groaned and nodded "W.D?" He asked, he lay next to Phillip his face the worst affected as he had hit face first, "I'm alive" he replied, pain thick in his tone.

Phillip slowly sat up and looked around him, "where are we?" He asked, Anne rose to her feet and studied their surroundings, "we entered Louisiana and by the looks of it we're in the next city over to New Orleans" she said.

Phillip wiped the blood on his sleeve, "great, we'll find a place to sleep for the night and begin travelling to the mansion in the morning, W.D will you be able to walk?" He asked.

W.D touched his side and winced, "I think so but I'm in a lot of pain, I won't be able to get any medical help here so I'm going to have to make do" he said bitterly.

Anne helped him to his feet, "I'll see what I can do for you if we find somewhere to sleep tonight, we should set off now. But from now on, no breaking cover no matter what or it could cost us our lives".

W.D nodded and looked at Phillip, "no more declaring your love for Anne" he warned, Phillip grimaced, "come on, walk" he barked to the both of them.

W.D leaned on Anne as they limped, walking slightly ahead of Phillip in the direction of the main city.


	71. Anne & WD Get Tied Up

**Warning this chapter contains drug use which isn't necessary to the plot and so if you're sensitive to the subject you can skip the contents when drug use is introduced I will put *** before and after for the people who don't wish to read it.**

The walk to New Orleans was a slow painful one, Anne had to help W.D to walk as he was injured so badly from the fall from the train.

Phillip wasn't in nearly as bad a state as W.D but he was feeling pretty sore. Both of their faces were cut and bleeding, but the friction of shielding Anne in his arms as they fell had destroyed the sleeves from Phillip's shirt and taken off the first layer of his skin.

Now his clothes looked as tattered as Anne and W.D's and every step he took hurt.

The most difficult part of that night however wasn't the walk to New Orleans, it was finding a place to stay the night.

Phillip told all the innkeepers that he required a room where his slaves could sleep on the floor as he didn't want to let them out of his sight in case they ran away but most of the hotels in New Orleans had signs in their windows that read _"no blacks, no Jews, no Irish, no dogs"_.

Even the hotels without signs outright banning black people wouldn't let Phillip book a room for the night, Anne and W.D were met with cold glares and racial slurs.

Phillip sighed in frustration, this hotel was the 5th one he had tried, "listen I can't let my slaves out of my sight, I just bought them and I don't want them running away when I'm sleeping" he argued.

The well-dressed gentleman behind the desk looked Phillip up and down, "what the hell's happened to you?" He asked obviously feeling suspicious but Phillip barely missed a beat, "this one attacked me and tried to escape once before, that's why I don't want to let them out of my sight for a minute" he spat, looking at W.D angrily.

The man softened slightly, "why don't you tie them up so they cannot flee?" He asked, Phillip threw his hands up, "I would love to but I don't have any rope" he said in exasperation.

The man stroked his chin, "I think we have some rope in the back we use for tying up niggers" he said, Phillip forced a smile on his face, "perfect" he said in a strained voice.

Anne watched him carefully, she was worried he'd crack at any second but he cleared his throat and kept his composure.

The man stood from his seat, "I'll go fetch it for you, stay here" he said and disappeared through a door behind his desk. Anne swore she saw young black kids gagged and bound behind the door when it swung open, she felt angry and sick at once but she couldn't afford to be a hero.

Phillip had seen them too, he felt a little shocked some of those kids looked no older than 10, the age Anne was when she was enslaved on the plantation. She'd been born into slavery and didn't escape for good until she was 17 years old.

He looked at Anne when the man went to the back to find rope for her and W.D, she was no longer looking at him but at W.D instead. Her face was worried as she silently inspected his injuries.

W.D was paling quickly, his face was severely cut and caked in dry blood, his tattered clothes were even more ripped and his skin under was torn to shreds from the friction.

Phillip hadn't really looked at W.D before but looking down at his legs he thought he could spot bone, Phillip gagged and looked away. Just in time too, the man came back with the rope.

He handed the rope to Phillip, "here, want a hand tying them up? I'll show you how to tie it so they can't escape" he offered, his daunting words mixed with what Phillip had seen for the brief second the door was open made his stomach churn.

He felt horrified and slightly afraid but what he was feeling was nothing to the fear Anne and W.D had.

He smiled and nodded, "that would be great, I'd hate to have chase these two down and kill them like I did the others" Phillip said.

The man laughed, "I know what you mean, I kill any nigger not with a white man on sight" he said.

He grabbed the rope and began tying W.D's wrists, Phillip grabbed the other end and spun Anne around roughly so she faced the wall.

He wrapped the rope around her wrists and took a deep breath before he pulled it tight. The rope cut into her skin slightly and she hissed in pain causing the innkeeper to laugh, "too tight?" Phillip asked.

Anne nodded, "a bit", Phillip forced a cruel laugh similar to the innkeeper's, "good" he said smugly but he felt guilt gnawing at his conscience.

He shook his head and ignored the instinct to loosen her bonds, _you have to do this or Anne could be killed_ he reminded himself but that didn't make him feel any better.

The man checked the ropes and then tied a knot he handed to Phillip. Anne and W.D were tied together and Phillip held the other end as if they were on a leash, "here, they won't be getting out of that any time soon" the man laughed.

Phillip smirked, "thank you, now do you have a room where I can sleep for the night?" He asked.

The man studied Anne and W.D, "well I suppose with your slaves tied up like dogs they ain't going nowhere" he mused.

He turned around and took one of the keys hanging on the wall behind him off the hook and handed it to Phillip, "room 209, enjoy your stay Sir" he said.

Phillip nodded to the man, "come on, walk" he ordered Anne and W.D, he kicked W.D into action when he hesitated, probably because of his bad leg.

W.D growled in pain but limped slowly towards the rooms, "yes massa" he seethed through gritted teeth.

Once Phillip had unlocked the door and they were safely inside he unlocked the door, shut the curtains and turned to them both, "are you two alright?" He whispered.

Anne winced, "god this rope hurts" she said wriggling her hands tied behind her back, Phillip rushed over to her and hugged her, "I know, I'm sorry. I can't loosen them or people will get suspicious, I need to keep you two tied up tonight" he said.

She rested her head against his shoulder, unable to hug him back, "it's fine, D how are you holding up?" She asked.

W.D closed his eyes, "it hurts so bad" he groaned, Phillip held up his hand, "stay here I'll see if there's any medical supplies in the bathroom" he whispered.

W.D chuckled lowly, "stay here, what else are we going to do you have us on a leash" he whispered but Phillip could hear the apprehension in his voice.

Phillip returned with a small box containing medical supplies, "now I can't bandage you or clean the blood off of you at all but I can clean your wounds and give you something for the pain" he whispered.

W.D nodded, "yes fine, can I sit down?" He asked, Phillip nodded and walked him and Anne back to the bed, they sat down whilst Phillip rummaged through the wooden first aid box.

He found a cloth and doused it in antiseptic, "this is going to hurt, just hold still" Phillip warned him before he pressed the cloth to his wounds.

W.D roared in pain, "that's for attacking me nigger" Phillip yelled, "take my hand" Anne whispered, he squeezed his eyes shut in pain and shuffled closer so he could took her hand.

"Ready?" Phillip asked, he breathed deep and heavily from the pain but nodded once, when Phillip pressed the cloth to him again he groaned and squeezed Anne's hand.

Phillip turned to Anne, "hand being crushed?" He asked, she cocked her head to the side and laughed quietly, "just a bit" she wheezed.

Phillip did the best he could but there was only so much he could do for W.D, he promised to get him a real doctor when they returned to the theatre.

He nodded towards the box, "what's that bottle? It might be some sort of painkiller" he whispered.

Phillip set down the cloth and picked up the bottle of dark brown liquid, his eyes widened as he read the bottle. He unscrewed the lid and lifted the bottle to his nose, "holy shit, _this is heroin_ " he gasped.

"No" Anne said quickly to W.D, "normally I would agree but Anne I am in a whole lot of pain right now, with no medical help coming for the next week" he said.

She turned to Phillip, "no" she repeated, he sniffed the heroine again, "oh heyyyy" he laughed, "and for a third time no" Anne said.

Phillip looked at the bottle and back at W.D, "what're you thinking?" He asked, ignoring Anne's protests.

W.D eyed up the bottle cautiously, "will it lessen the pain?" He asked, Phillip nodded, "definitely".

Anne looked at them both, "aren't you listening to me? No! Isn't heroin highly addictive? Phillip, you should know better" she scolded.

Phillip sighed, "okay yes, it _can_ be highly addictive if you were to repeatedly abuse it, but this'll just be a one-time hit. It's also an extremely strong pain killer and considering I can't get W.D any sufficient medical help for the next week this is his best shot" he whispered back.

Anne stared Phillip down, "okay okay, if you're so worried I'll take some first to test how strong and safe it is, we all know I used to do some pretty questionable things so we know I can handle it. I'll take it first and tell you if it's safe for W.D" he offered.

Anne looked at W.D, he was getting paler and his breathing heavier by the second, "fine, but if I hear either of you _ever_ touch this stuff again I _will_ kill you both" she threatened.

Phillip and W.D both looked at each other, "agreed" they said in unison having both experienced Anne's rage before.

 ******* Phillip found a spoon, a tourniquet, a pack of matches and a needle with the heroin in the medical pack. Anne watched him nervously as he rolled up his sleeve and fastened the tourniquet.

He then poured the heroin out onto the spoon, heated it up and drew it up into the needle, "okay, Anne you're definitely sure this is alright? You're not going to change your mind and kill me when we get home?" Phillip asked.

She sighed heavily and nodded, "I knew this week wasn't going to be easy, so far we've been thrown off a train, tied up and now this. Just promise me this is a one-time thing. For W.D" she said.

Phillip nodded, "I promise, this _is_ his best bet but I'll check it's safe just to be sure" he said, Anne sighed once more, "go on then".

Phillip grunted a little as he sunk the needle in his arm, Anne and W.D looked at him expectantly, Phillip fell back against the bed.

Anne looked at him in alarm, "Phillip?" She whispered, he exhaled hard, "okay, yeah that's pretty strong but what do you weigh Wheeler?" He asked.

W.D thought for a second, "I'd say roughly 13 stone?" He guessed. Phillip laughed to himself, he was high as a kite, "Phillip" Anne hissed.

He stopped and sat up, "right yeah, 13 stone you'll be fine, I'll only give you a little to be on the safe side" he slurred.

Anne looked at him sceptically, "remember our deal?" She urged, he shook his head so he could think more clearly and nodded, "no drugs when we get home" he said.

Anne nodded, "I mean it, I _will_ kill you" she warned, Phillip held his hands up, "hey this was just to help out W.D so he could handle the pain" he defended.

He turned to W.D, "are you ready?" He asked, W.D laughed quietly, "you seem pretty happy, give it to me" he nodded.

Phillip moved behind them so he could secure the tourniquet around W.D's arm, "take a deep breath" he instructed W.D before he injected him with the heroin needle.

 ******* He cleaned up the supplies and went back to the bathroom to return the medical kit, "how are you feeling?" Anne whispered to W.D.

He laughed, "I feel great" he scoffed, Anne raised her eyebrow, "don't get used to it, this is a one-time thing" she nagged, her words fell on deaf ears of course, "I feel like I can do anything" W.D marvelled.

Phillip came back out at that point, "I know it feels pretty good but you should take it easy, you're still in pretty rough condition and we've got a long day tomorrow, you should probably get some rest" he said.

"I take it we're sleeping on the floor?" Anne asked, Phillip looked about the room, "I'm sorry" he said.

She shook her head, "it's fine, come on you" she nudged W.D, he turned his head slowly to look at her with a dazed look on his face, "h?" He murmured.

Anne rolled her eyes and looked at Phillip, "he's experiencing extreme euphoria and it's probably a lot for his first time" he explained, "his _only_ time" Anne corrected, Phillip nodded, "yes sorry his only time" he agreed.

He helped Anne and W.D stand and made them a makeshift bed on the floor with the pillows and duvet from the bed, "it's not perfect but it'll have to do" Phillip whispered hopefully.

Anne looked unhappily at the floor and back at Phillip, "you better make it up to me when we get home" she groaned, "I'll take you to your favourite café" he offered.

She smiled weakly, "goodnight Phil", he kissed her forehead, "goodnight love, just think we're one day closer to saving your mother" he reminded her.

She nodded, "I love you" she whispered before she laid down next to W.D and shut her eyes.

Phillip laid back on the bare mattress and shut his eyes, "I love you too" he whispered, he just hoped tomorrow would be easier.


	72. Back At Home

Back at home tensions were high, everyone was worried about Anne, Phillip and W.D, P.T was taking charge until they were back but he was one of the most worried of them all.

Anne and Phillip were like family and of course W.D was too, he couldn't stop worrying about everything that could go wrong, he'd heard about how bad things were in New Orleans.

Lettie and Constantine were the worst hit out of everyone with Charles surprisingly a close second. Their group felt incomplete without their friends, they gathered every day to support each other.

Anne was Lettie's best friend and she and W.D were like Constantine's brother and sister. Phillip was extremely close with Charles and so although he tried to hide it Charles was extremely anxious whilst they were all away.

The three of them gathered in Lettie's room, Lettie sat with her head in her hands as Charles paced back and forth, "what if they don't come back?" Lettie murmured.

Constantine sat next to her with a comforting hand on her back, "they will be, you know Phillip will do anything to protect Anne and worst comes to worse W.D will step in and you know he can look after himself" he said.

Charles chewed on his nails, "yes but what if they get Phillip first and then W.D and something really bad happens?" He interrupted, Constantine shook his head, "if anything tried to hurt Phillip W.D would abandon his cover and step in" he reasoned.

Lettie lifted her head, "if Anne or W.D abandoned their cover they could be killed there. Anne and W.D's father was lynched just for protecting Anne when she was a little girl, imagine what could happen to them if they had to protect themselves… Oh god" she muttered and buried her face in her hands again.

"Stop it, you will worry yourself sick. Anne and W.D will make it back alive and Phillip will be fine too" Constantine insisted, he had taken on the carer role.

He forced down his concerns and supported Lettie and Charles but he drove himself crazy at night thinking about Anne and W.D, he knew how badly they were targeted in New York, New Orleans would be a whole new ball game.

Lettie felt her eyes getting teary again as they had done every day that week, she would reach a point of worry where it would all just get too much and she'd feel the panic rising in her, she'd get too caught up imagining what situations they could possibly be in then she'd get a watery lump in her throat and she'd begin crying.

The door swung open and Josephine walked in, "hey guys, how're you holding up?" She asked.

Charles shook his head, "not good, it's day 4 and I know they said it'll probably be a week before they're home but it's killing us" he croaked.

Josephine looked at Lettie who was now wiping at her eyes and trying to take deep breaths to stop herself before she cried for real, "hey, it's going to be okay. Anne will be back soon" she said, rushing to her side.

She sat next to her and wrapped her arm around her shoulders, Lettie tensed before she relaxed and laid her head on Josephine's shoulder.

Things had been slowly changing between her and Josephine over the past few months, very slowly, painfully slow. But since Anne, Phillip and W.D had left Lettie was weak and so her defences were down, which meant her relationship with Josephine could progress at a faster than usual pace.

Every night that week Josephine had stayed up with her and let her talk about how worried she was for Anne, she'd listen and comfort Lettie if she got too worked up.

Lettie sniffed, "I know Phillip and W.D will try and protect Anne but all I can think about is them alone out there and I just…" she trailed off as she bit back a sob.

Josephine hugged her tighter, "I know, I know. Shhh, it's okay" she hushed comfortingly, Constantine glanced at his watch, "oh shit, Charles we have to go. Sorry Lets we've got rehearsals; will you be okay?" He asked.

Lettie nodded, "I've got Josephine, go. I'll be alright" she smiled weakly, Constantine kissed her forehead, "they'll be home safely, I promise" he said.

Lettie nodded again, "thanks Constantine, I'll see you guys later" she said.

Josephine turned to Lettie again, "how are you feeling?" She asked, she stroked Lettie's arm softly as she sat with her head on her shoulder still.

Lettie let out a shuddering breath, "tired, worried" she summarised, Josephine nodded understandably, "Anne seems tough enough" she tried, Lettie sighed, "she isn't as tough as she looks. She likes to put up a front, to try and protect herself. You should've seen her before she met Phillip, she was such a timid young thing bless her. Tough or not she's black in a very racist city, I can't help but to worry for her, she's the closest friend I've ever had" she explained.

Josephine lifted Lettie's head so she could look at her, "I know you're worried but I know she's going to be okay, deep down I think you know it too. It's normal to worry but she's got Phillip looking out for her and as we all know Phillip can't die" she joked.

Lettie laughed, "you're right, the man's indestructible. Fire, bullets, beatings… Nothing can take Carlyle down" she agreed.

Josephine reached up and brushed away her tears she hadn't noticed had fallen from her eyes, "exactly" she whispered.

Lettie felt a tingle run down her spine and suddenly all her hairs stood on end, she swallowed thickly. What the hell was happening?

She thought back to Angela, she had felt the same way when Angela had touched her but that was different. She loved Angela, she wasn't even sure if she liked Josephine, not after what happened.

But she did, she didn't want to. She was stubborn and tried to reject her feelings of favour instead of distaste towards Josephine.

She was deeply loyal to Phillip Carlyle and so she felt as if she shouldn't so easily forget what had happened but it was true she and Josephine had made progress.

What startled Lettie is the more progress they made, the more Lettie began viewing Josephine differently. She was no longer the evil girl who had endangered her friend but the girl who was doing everything in her power to make up for it.

Maybe it was because of her cold closed off approach Lettie had taken up at first towards Josephine that explained why she didn't notice her feelings shifting, not until this moment.

Lettie found she was growing a little breathless but Josephine did not retract her hand, instead her eyes lingered on Lettie's for a moment longer than one would usually look at a friend.

Lettie frowned and subconsciously wettened her lips, "what-" she asked but Josephine shushed her, "don't speak" she whispered.

Lettie felt confused and strangely excited, she didn't want to notice how beautiful Josephine looked, it was winter so of course the days were shorter, it was dark already and the room was lit by a single Gaslamp.

Josephine looked beautiful in the dim flickering light, she had changed a lot since she had arrived at the circus all those months ago. She had gained all the weight she'd lost back, even then she had a delicate hourglass figured body. Her brunette hair had grown out too, now finishing just below her shoulders. Her skin was a healthier colour and Josephine overall seemed to glow at the circus.

Lettie stared back into her green eyes and couldn't help but to be reminded of Angela, perhaps in more ways that one.

Josephine bit her lip, she was nervous and Lettie thought she knew why. But that couldn't be, right?

Josephine glanced down at Lettie's lips and back into her eyes before she slowly, ever so slowly inched forward. She was leaning in!

Lettie was filled with nerves but she too leaned forward ever so slightly, she could feel Josephine's hot breath on her skin now.

They sat there for a second, their lips a hairs breadth away but not quite touching, neither thinking but both too afraid to be the one to close the gap until Josephine shut her eyes and brushed her lips against Lettie's.

Lettie's mind exploded, she was kissing a girl and not just any girl, Josephine Willoughby. Was this real?

Lettie didn't kiss her back at first, she was too shocked to process what was really happening but when Josephine cupped her cheek with her other hand, bringing her closer she realised this wasn't some strange dream.

The kiss was soft and slow and perfect. Lettie placed her hands clumsily on Josephine's hips, she felt more than a little unsure of herself, truth be told she'd never actually kissed anyone before.

Josephine was the one to pull away, Lettie's eyes fluttered slowly open, she looked at Josephine in utter disbelief, "whoa" she gasped.


	73. Anne Gets Slapped

Anne woke with a start, Phillip nudged her with his foot, "get up slave! Now!" He ordered loudly.

Anne groaned and sat herself up, W.D still snored away next to her, she couldn't shake him awake so she headbutted him, "D, get up. We need to go" she said when he grunted in response.

He sat up and frowned at Anne, "did you headbutt me?" He asked, she shrugged, "I don't have the use of my hands, I had to make-do" she whispered.

Phillip hauled them both to their feet, "okay, the Zadine manor is in the centre of New Orleans, we can't risk getting a carriage but if we leave now and don't stop we might be able to get there by tonight" he whispered.

Anne felt a rush of excitement run through her despite the difficult day ahead of them. Within ten minutes they had checked out of the hotel and began their journey on foot.

It felt weird for Anne being back in her childhood city, of course she never got to see much of New Orleans outside of the plantation but she did catch glimpses when she was taken to the market to be sold or when she'd escaped or on the extremely rare occasions when her master went out and took a few slaves with him to do whatever he wanted or needed them to do.

Being back in New Orleans brought back memories, none of them good of course but Anne felt an odd sense of reminiscent and nostalgia.

She hadn't been to New Orleans for almost 5 years, everything had changed yet at the same time it was completely the same. Anne guessed it was different walking through New Orleans as a technically free woman.

She might be posing as a slave but she was a free woman, she was no man's property, she belonged to no one. Well maybe to Phillip in an unconventional sense but that was different.

If someone had told 17-year-old Anne Wheeler that in 5 years' time she would be visiting New Orleans with her fiancée and brother on a mission to save her mama before they brought her back to Anne's home with the man she loved in New York she would think them crazy.

Phillip tugged harshly on Anne and W.D's leash forcing them to stop outside a shop, "I need new clothes and I suppose if I tie you up out here you may be killed before I can take you to the plantation so in you go" he barked.

They walked into the shop and were immediately glared at by the woman behind the counter, "I don't like negroes in my store" she told Phillip.

"I'm terribly sorry ma'am, I just bought these two this morning and I'd like to keep them alive long enough to return to my farm" he explained.

The woman walked around from behind her counter and made her way over to them, she eyed them up judgingly, "hmm, I guess if they're all tied up like that they can't do any damage or touch me with their filthy skin" she decided.

Phillip laughed, "I wouldn't get too close ma'am, this one attacked me and tried to escape this morning. But I put him in the place, showed him who's boss, isn't that right?" Phillip warned the woman before he seized W.D by the throat.

"Yes massa" W.D choked, Phillip laughed maliciously before he pushed W.D's hand down hard, letting go.

The woman gasped and backed quickly away as if Anne and W.D were dangerous animals, ready to pounce any second. "Well let's get you new clothes, right away" she said.

Anne watched as the woman rushed about the store skimming through various styles of shirts and slacks hanging from rails scattered around the store, "what kind of thing are you looking for Sir?" She called.

Phillip released his grip on Anne and W.D's leash letting the rope drop to the floor and making his way to a rack of crisp white shirts, "something quite smart, I look to look my best" Phillip answered slowly as he browsed.

The woman nodded and rushed over to the formal section, "of course Sir, how about a new suit?" She proposed.

Anne noticed a few pretty wedding dresses hanging from a rail next to where she stood, without thinking she reached out and ran her fingers along the delicate material of the dresses.

She and Phillip had been too busy to officially start planning their wedding but Anne had started her search for her wedding dress, she hadn't yet found anything that caught her eye but there were some beautiful dresses here.

She jumped slightly as the woman let out a half shriek half gasp of indignation, she stormed over to Anne, "don't you dare lay your filthy nigger hands on those" she hissed and slapped Anne.

The strike was sharp and fast, too fast for Anne to predict or to protect herself from at all. Her head was thrown to the side from the force of the slap, she wished she could bring her hands up to touch her hot stinging cheek.

Anne cried out softly as the woman hit her, W.D struggled against his bonds, "don't you hit my sister" he growled instinctively.

Phillip quickly moved around to stand between the woman and Anne and W.D, the woman scoffed in surprise, "I will not be told what to do by a negro, you are nothing but a worthless slave, I would watch your tongue if I was you" she said sharply to W.D.

Phillip looked at W.D apologetically before he punched him in the face, "you will learn your place the hard way boy".

W.D grunted and gritted his teeth but said nothing, "you will answer me when I speak to you, is that clear?" Phillip screamed in his face.

He breathed heavily through his nose, "yes master" he spat, Phillip grabbed W.D's face roughly, "are you cheeking me?" He demanded.

He shook his head, "no Sir" he answered shortly, Anne could tell he was getting increasingly angry at the situation. He couldn't stand not being able to defend and protect Anne like this.

Phillip turned to the woman, "I sincerely apologise for my new slave's behaviour, I'll take these" he said grabbing a smart white shirt and black pair of slacks.

She nodded, "of course" she sent Anne and W.D one last loathing look before she walked behind the counter and rang the clothes up.

Phillip quickly changed into the new clothes in the changing room around the back and they were on their way again.

She noticed him glancing worriedly at her and W.D in weak moments before he regained his composure, she knew he wanted to ask her if she was alright or apologise to W.D but he knew he couldn't break their cover so he ignored the hand print mark on Anne's cheek or the fresh blood pouring from W.D nose and into his mouth.

This trip back to hell was only half over but already the emotional toll was weighing heavily on Anne. She felt humiliated and ashamed of herself again, it had taken Phillip so long to build her self esteem up but within the 4 days she'd been absent from home she'd been torn down again.

Within the short space of 4 days she had been racially abused on several accounts, thrown off of a moving train with the intention of maim or death, tied up, been forced to sleep on the floor like an animal, screamed at by the man she loved and now she'd been struck.

The list of unpleasantries seemed to grow with each passing day she spent in New Orleans, the only thought that kept Anne going was that she wasn't even a day away from being reunited with her mama.


	74. Flashbacks

**Author's note, there's going to be a lot of French in this chapter so when there's French I will put** ***** **at the beginning and end**

They walked all day with very few breaks and almost no protection against the cold, bitter, winter wind.

Anne shivered furiously as they trudged on. She was tired, cold, thirsty and miserable, whenever she and W.D weren't walking quick enough for Phillip's liking he would scream at them.

She knew he had to, there were people around and his act meant their safety but being screamed at by Phillip only heaped onto Anne's troubles and she hated being treated like this again.

To make matters worse it began to snow, it never snowed in New Orleans or at least it didn't in all of the time Anne grew up there but of course with her luck it would begin snowing at this moment in time.

Her shoes were worn out, with holes in the soles and did very little to protect Anne's feet from the snow and bitter coldness. She was so cold it hurt, her fingers and toes stung mercilessly from Jack Frost's cruel bite.

She wondered if she was going to get hypothermia again, something she was all too familiar with from her days of sleeping on the New York streets in conditions similar to these ones.

She eyed up Phillip's warm clothes enviously, he had deep pockets he could warm his hands in and a thick coat to keep out the cold. In fact his cheeks looked a little pink as he walked, the lucky bastard.

It wasn't his fault but it was difficult not to be bitter when he wore comfy warm clothes and walked freely with all the power whilst she and W.D were kept on a leash like wild animals wearing very little and being screamed at every 10 minutes.

On the plus side W.D didn't seem to be in as much pain today, the heroin had clearly helped him. He only walked with a slight limp and didn't need to stop very often.

He had a permanent grimace on his face but Anne liked to think it was more of a reaction to the cold than to his injured leg or the fact his leg bone was exposed.

Around midday W.D froze in his spot and because they were bound together Anne stopped too. Phillip frowned and tugged on the rope, "keep walking slave" he ordered without turning around.

But W.D didn't move, Anne felt just as confused as Phillip, "I said keep moving" he screamed turning around to face him.

He faltered when he saw W.D's grave expression, Anne looked around to see what could be causing such a dramatic reaction in her brother when she saw what he was looking at she froze too.

Her face fell as she felt fear and anger form in her chest. Phillip looked at her with conflict in his face, unsure whether to keep the act up or find out what was wrong, he'd never seen her this shaken.

He dropped the rope and took a quick step towards Anne, deciding he would be her fiancée again and worry about the consequences later, "Anne?" He asked.

She didn't stir, nor did W.D. They just stood in place looking horrified, he followed their gaze but all he saw was farmland. He shook her arm, "Anne?" He repeated.

Then Anne fell to the floor and began shaking violently spurring W.D into action, "untie her now" he screamed angrily.

Anne wanted to cry out, her body going into shock from the cold snow and the hard floor but of course she had no control.

Phillip dropped to her side, fumbling clumsily as he rushed to free her arms, "what happened?" He cried to W.D.

Anne heard W.D kneel next to her, felt his knee press against her hip letting her know he was there. "We're near the plantation where we were enslaved, the one we lost our mama at. Over there are the very fields Anne and I used to work in" he said.

How could she be back here again, she was thrown violently back into the past as flashbacks invaded her memories.

 _Anne was a little girl again and she was working in the field next to W.D and her daddy. They were picking cotton under the supervision of their master._

 _ *****_ _He cracked his whip, Anne flinching at the sound, "no slacking you useless piece of shit!" He screamed at Anne._

 _It was Anne's first week on the job, she was only 3 years old and she was too young to understand._

 _She collapsed on the floor and began to cry, "Anne, get up" her daddy dropped the cotton and ran to her side but it was too late, "move!" Master screamed at her daddy._

 _He hoisted Anne to her feet and turned to the master, "please Sir, she's only a baby, she doesn't understand yet" he begged._

 _The master stormed over and slapped her daddy hard, Anne only began to cry harder. She didn't understand what was happening or why but she knew the white man scared her._

 _Her daddy hissed in pain but he shoved Anne behind his back and towards W.D._

 _W.D grabbed her stomach and pulled her back, "come on Anne pick the cotton like I showed you" he hissed but Anne was inconsolable._

 _Her master grabbed her daddy's throat and began choking him, "are you daring to defy my orders?" He spat, her daddy took one look at Anne's scared face and shook his head frantically, "no massa" he gasped._

 _Her master shoved him to the floor and grabbed Anne roughly, "come here" he ordered._

 _Anne screamed and struggled as she was pulled away from W.D, "D" Anne whimpered unable to pronounce the W yet._

 _W.D charged forward only to be caught by their daddy, he held him back as he watched on in anger._

 _Her master marched her away from the other slaves and whipped her, she screamed in pain, "daddy help" she sobbed._

 _She couldn't understand why the bad man hurt her or why her daddy stood by and did nothing._

 _W.D struggled in their daddy's strong arms, "leave her alone! Whip me instead!" He screamed._

 _Her master whipped her again, she felt blood trickling down her back, "shut the fuck up nigger or I'll whip her harder" he threatened._

 _Anne fell to her knees as he whipped her again, the force knocking her to the ground. He kicked her in the ribs then hauled her to her feet, "now work! No stopping this time, is that clear?" He screamed._

 _Anne ran to her daddy and clung to his legs and she cried, "is she going to work or not?" Her master demanded._

 _Her daddy nodded frantically then knelt down in front of her, "come on Anne, like I showed you. Be a big girl now, work for daddy" he said his voice shaking._ _ *****_

Anne continued fitting but somehow in her flashback she managed to scream out, "no! Daddy!" She screamed an agonising scream of pain.

Phillip looked hysterically at W.D, "what's happening to her?" He demanded beginning to cry himself.

W.D's hands were free now and held her head as she shook, "she's having flashbacks, she can't hear you when she's like this. We just have to wait for her to come out of it" he explained.

Anne slipped back into consciousness for a brief second but when she remembered where she was she was thrown into another flashback.

 _She was 7 years old now and had just gotten her first period, she had no idea what was happening and passed out when she saw blood coming out of her._

 _Her mama had found her on the floor in the abandoned building the slaves lived and slept in, "Anne?" She shook her roughly._

 _Anne came to and looked up at her mama in a daze, "Chii chakaitika?" she asked, her mama let out a sigh of relief that was okay, "I don't know mufaro, I found you here unconscious" she whispered helping Anne to sit up._

 _Anne glanced down and saw blood, she began to panic all over again, this time she stayed conscious but she began to hyperventilate, "mama I'm dying" she cried._

 _ *****_ _Her mother followed her gaze and gasped, "oh no mon cheri, you're not dying but we do need to talk" she said._

 _But all Anne could focus on was the blood soaking through her drags, the sight was too much for her and she felt a seizure take over her._

 _Her mama held her up as shook, "Anne, please calm down. Listen to me, you're not dying. I can explain everything, just calm down" her mama said, stroking her hair._ _ *****_

 _Despite her mama's comforting words Anne began to involuntarily cry out as she often did when she had a seizure._

 _Her mama's head snapped around to the doorway, "Anne shh, you don't want to disturb the master! Please, calm down nyika yangu" she whispered._

 _Anne couldn't stop herself, she began to panic and only cried out louder. It was too late, the master came storming in whip in hand, gun in other._

 _ *****_ _He was by Anne's side in a second, "how dare you disturb me slave" he roared, Anne fell to the floor as her mama stood hurriedly to protect Anne, "please master, she is ill" she begged._

 _There was a sickening thud and her mama's cry as he shoved her to the wall, "I don't care if she's dying, I will not stand for this" he yelled and kicked Anne._

 _Anne began to panic more, she needed to bring her seizure to an end but she didn't know how. The more she panicked, the harder she shook._

 _Her heart stopped as she involuntarily hit her master's leg as her arms flailed uncontrollably. She hit the bend of his knee sending him tumbling to the floor._

 _Anne heard him fall and she screamed inside her head, he would beat her half to death or he would actually kill her._

 _He stumbled to his feet and towered over Anne, she couldn't see him but she didn't have to to know what was coming next, "no!" Her mother cried but the master lashed the whip across Anne's cheek._

 _He beat her again and again, all the while Anne's fitting got increasingly worse and more uncontrollable._ _ *****_

 _Anne hurt everywhere and could feel the hot blood on her skin when her master was done, yet she was unable to move until the seizure had finished taking it's course._

 _Her mama held her until she stopped shaking, "oh Anne, I'm so sorry" she whispered, wiping the blood away with her shawl._

 _Anne curled into her mama's lap, her mama rocked her and sang softly to calm her as she sobbed. She was scared and confused and in so much pain, more pain than she knew what to do with._

 _Anne could remember she just cried until she had no more tears to cry, no voice to speak, her lungs raw from screaming out as she shook._

Then Anne was back, back for good. Outside the hell she was trapped in for so many years, lying in the cold snow next to Phillip and W.D.

"It's okay, I'm here Anne. I don't know if you can hear me but I'm here, I'm not going anywhere" Phillip told her, she was vaguely aware of his hand holding hers.

She slowly began to stop shaking, she didn't have the energy to go on so she lay motionless, gasping for air and reeling from the traumatic memories.

She wearily opened her eyes, "how long?" She croaked at W.D, "a while. That was your longest seizure in a long time" he told her.

She shut her eyes again and swallowed, her throat was dry and scratchy but the lump in her throat was back.

"It's okay, we can stop for tonight. Forget the slave act, I'll protect you both. I need to be here for you right now" Phillip said.

Anne opened her eyes again and shook her head weakly, "no. Every second we stop is another second mama is trapped there. We need to go save her, I can walk" she croaked.

Even as she said it she knew it wasn't true, she was exhausted before but the seizure had drained the last bit of energy she had.

Phillip shook his head and cupped her cheek, "no Anne, you can't go on like this. You need to rest".

Anne frowned, she didn't have the energy to do much else, "if mama can't rest neither can I. We have to save her, tonight and that means you can't drop the act. I don't care I had a seizure, we need to save mama and we can only do that if you act as our master" Anne insisted.

W.D sighed, "you know she won't listen. Keep up the act, I'll carry her" he said, Phillip looked at him like he was crazy, "what? No! You can barely walk yourself" he argued.

W.D didn't listen, he lay Anne gently on the snow before he straightened and picked her up in his arms bridal style, "what choice do we have? She's right about mama, we have to save her".

Phillip stood and glared at W.D, he was just angry because he knew they wouldn't back down and so had no choice but to follow, "fine. Let's go slave" he growled and their journey continued.


	75. Phillip Meets Dangarembga Wheeler

It took a lot longer than Phillip had expected but they stood outside of the Zidane manor. It certainly hadn't been easy, W.D had carried an exhausted Anne through the snow and the cold all night despite his worsening condition.

One thought occurred to Phillip as he looked up at the towering manor. He had no idea what he was going to say. He'd spent the entire journey worrying about Anne and W.D and forgot to plan what he would actually say when they got here.

He raised his hand to ring the doorbell but faltered, feeling overwhelmed. W.D set Anne down in the snow with a sharp hiss, "what're you waiting for?" He asked.

Phillip took a few steps back away from the door and ran a hasty hand through his hair, "I have no idea what I'm going to say, I'm about to meet your mother and I have no idea what I'm going to say. I haven't thought this through at all, what if she hates me?" He asked.

W.D grimaced as he limped over to Phillip with great difficulty, "you're going to be fine Carlyle", he laid his hand on Phillip's shoulder, "mama probably won't hate you, she might be wary at first but she won't hate you. Besides I imagine she'll be extremely grateful to you for reuniting her with me and Anne again, so don't worry about it too much".

Phillip hummed, "you're probably right but, I don't know…" he said nervously.

Anne stood and kissed Phillip's cheek, "you can do this baby, I believe in you" she said encouragingly.

Phillip hummed still not convinced, suddenly an idea came to Anne, she snapped her fingers, "I know, if you really want to make a good impression on mama I can teach you something in Shona you can say to her so she knows you mean no harm" she suggested.

W.D pointed to Anne and nodded approvingly, "that's a great idea".

"Okay, but what?" Phillip asked, Anne raised her hand to her face as she thought, "I've got it" she declared.

Phillip rubbed his hands, "I'm ready" he said, " _handidi kukukuvadza, ndiri pano kukuponesa. Ndinoziva Anne uye W.D asi ini handitauri Shona, Anne akandidzidzisa kutaura izvi kuitira kuti uzive kuti handizi njodzi kwauri_ " Anne told him in fluent Shona.

Phillip held up his hands, "whoa whoa whoa. Slow down… What?" He asked, a look of complete befuddlement on his face.

Anne laughed, " _handidi kukukuvadza, ndiri pano kukuponesa. Ndinoziva Anne uye W.D asi ini handitauri Shona, Anne akandidzidzisa kutaura izvi kuitira kuti uzive kuti handizi njodzi kwauri_ , got it?" She repeated.

Phillip looked to W.D for help, "okay, let's break it down into sections, just repeat after me. _Handidi kukukuvadza_ " he said.

Phillip looked back at Anne, she gave him a smile of encouragement, " _handidi kukukuvadza_ " he repeated unsurely.

W.D nodded, "good, _ndiri pano kukuponesa_ " he continued, Phillip repeated once again.

W.D gave him a thumbs up, "not bad, _ndinoziva Anne uye W.D asi ini handitauri Shona_ ".

He continued feeding Phillip small chunks until Phillip had mostly successfully repeated everything.

Anne applauded him but he was sure it was more out of pity than genuine congratulations, "that was good Phil! Your pronunciation was a little off but Shona is a difficult language and I'm sure mama will understand what you mean. Do you think you're ready to try it all in one?" She asked.

Phillip furrowed his brows in concentration, " _handidi kukukuvadza, ndiri pano kukuponesa. Ndinoziva Anne uye W.D asi ini handitauri Shona, Anne akandidzidzisa kutaura izvi kuitira kuti uzive kuti handizi njodzi kwauri_ " he said slowly.

Anne and W.D applauded once again, "you've got it!" Anne cried, she kissed his cheek once again.

W.D clapped him on the back, "say that mama and you'll be fine", Phillip nodded, "okay, let's do this".

He rang the doorbell and waited, after several long moments the door swung open to reveal an older white man who reminded Phillip of his father.

He greeted them all with a grumpy frown, "who're you?" He asked Phillip.

Phillip cleared his throat and forced a polite smile onto his face, "are you Mr Zidane?" He asked, the man's frown deepened at his question, "yes, and you are?".

Phillip held out his hand, "Phillip Carlyle Sir, pleasure to meet you", Mr Zidane eyed up Anne and W.D warily, "are these yours?" He asked.

Phillip pulled his hand back, ignoring the awkwardness and nodded, "they're my slaves, I just bought them this morning. The word is you have a particular slave who's perfect for what I'm looking for and I'm interested in buying her" Phillip explained.

Mr Zidane's face relaxed slightly, changing to an expression of curiosity instead, "I see, what is it you're looking for?" He asked.

Phillip panicked for a second, he had no idea what job Dangarembga did but he kept his cool and reached into his pocket, pulling out a thick wad of cash he would use to buy her.

He offered it to Mr Zidane, "I believe this should be enough, I only require the one slave" he said casually.

Mr Zidane smirked as he accepted the money, flicking through the money and weighing it up in his hand, "please, follow me Mr Carlyle. I'll let you take your pick" he opened the door a little wider and stood to the side to let Phillip, Anne and W.D in.

He lead them into a large dining hall then he picked up a small silver bell and rang it.

Almost immediately a slave came running in, "you called Sir?" He asked breathlessly.

Mr Zidane nodded coldly, "there's a man here who wants to buy a new slave. Go fetch the others" he ordered.

The slave bowed, "yes master" he said before he ran out of the room again.

Phillip looked at Anne and W.D, they stood side by side their eyes focussed on the floor in front of them but Phillip knew the pair well enough to sense their excitement.

They were soon to be reunited with their mother again after 13 years, Phillip couldn't blame them. He knew they were looking at the floor to stop themselves from reacting when their mother walked in the room, they were smart in doing so.

A couple minutes later the room was filled with slaves, maybe 15 or 20 of them but Phillip knew which one was Dangarembga.

When she walked in the room and saw Anne and W.D her eyes lit up and her hand shot to her mouth to supress a gasp. She covered it with a cough but her eyes began to fill with tears.

She wasn't what Phillip was expecting, in all honesty he didn't know who he was expecting but certainly not the woman stood in front of him.

She was very small in height, Phillip wondered how a woman so small bore two people so tall, Dangarembga Wheeler was 5'5 at most whereas Anne was 5'10 and W.D bigger still at 6'3.

She had dark skin like W.D and long hair like Anne, Phillip was shocked how similar she looked to Anne and W.D. She was what Phillip imagined a small combination of Anne and W.D would look like.

She had Anne's nose and W.D's eyes, she was thin and delicate like Anne although that could just be a result from years of malnourishment and neglect.

Mr Zidane turned to face them and smiled a cruel, malicious sneer that sent shivers down Phillip's spine, "it's your lucky day, one of you niggers is about to be bought by Mr Carlyle here, then I'll never have to see your filthy fucking face again" he snarled.

He turned to Phillip and smiled pleasantly again, "any of them catch your eye?" He asked.

Phillip stroked his chin as he pretended to study the slaves stood before him, part of him wanted to buy them all so he could set them free but he knew what men like Mr Zidane were like.

He would only go buy new slaves on the black market, it disgusted and angered Phillip.

He paced back and forth in front of the slaves as if he were thinking carefully about his decision before he stopped in front of Dangarembga, "I'll take this one" he said.

Mr Zidane sprung forward, "excellent choice, blackie here's a great fuck" he said nudging Phillip with a wink.

Phillip saw W.D tense up and Anne subtly holding her hand out in front of him behind him and Mr Zidane.

Phillip looked at Mr Zidane with what he hoped was an interested expression, "oh really? Is there anywhere I can test her out before I make my decision?" He asked.

Mr Zidane smiled slyly at Dangarembga, "of course Sir, follow me" he said, he grabbed her wrist roughly and dragged into the room next door.

Phillip followed them into a small study, "I'll leave you to it and don't worry, I'll watch your slaves whilst you have your fun" Mr Zidane said to Phillip. His tone was creepy and gross, Phillip was thankful when he left the room.

Dangarembga didn't look at Phillip as she shrugged the shawl from her shoulders and silently reached to pull her shirt over her head.

Phillip's eyes widened in realisation, he averted his eyes quickly and held up his hands, "whoa! Hey, no" he whispered quickly.

He crossed the room to the desk and began moving it back and forth so it would sound like he was having sex on it.

She watched him in confusion, "is there a problem Sir?" She asked startled by his odd's behaviour.

Phillip let out a false moan so Mr Zidane would suspect nothing, he just hoped Anne knew it wasn't real.

Dangarembga backed away slightly, "it's okay, _handidi kukukuvadza, ndiri pano kukuponesa. Ndinoziva Anne uye W.D asi ini handitauri Shona, Anne akandidzidzisa kutaura izvi kuitira kuti uzive kuti handizi njodzi kwauri_. I just don't want to raise suspicion" Phillip whispered to her.

Her eyes shone with tears, she clamped her hand to mouth as she drew a shaky breath, "you know my children? They're not your slaves?" She gasped.

Phillip laughed and shook his head, "not at all, Anne's my-" he stopped himself, "well I'd better let her explain".

Meanwhile Anne and W.D waited in the dining room with Mr Zidane, he quickly dismissed the other slaves and watched the two of them with hate in his eyes.

He snarled as if just standing in their presence was painful to him, "don't look at me nigger" he spat at Anne.

Anne quickly lowered her eyes, she had been free for so long she'd forgotten one of the crucial rules she used to live by: _never look a white man in the eyes_. "Sorry, Sir" she said quickly.

He huffed a bemused laugh, "I have good sense to slap you for the very cheek of it. How dare you look me in the eye you filthy spook" he sneered.

Anne lowered her head and flinched when she heard something that hit her much harder than this old man ever could.

She heard a desk squeaking and Phillip moaning; the sound made her blood run cold. Surely he wasn't really fucking her mama, he loved her too much to ever do that to her, didn't he? But she knew his moans and the groans coming from the study sounded far too real for her liking.

Her head snapped up and she fixated on the door as she gritted her teeth. She couldn't afford to show emotion now, not when she was so close but it was hard to fight the overwhelming urge to cry or run.

W.D's hand found hers straight away, he stroked his thumb across her knuckles, letting her know he was there.

Anne blinked away her tears and took deep steady breaths, she clenched her teeth so hard she worried they would crack but she couldn't stand to hear the sound of Phillip's moans when she wasn't the one causing them.

This was her worst nightmare come to life, the pain was worse than when Margaux had convinced her Phillip was cheating. Now she stood outside listening as he did, and with her mama.

The day she had dreamt for years quickly turned sour as he heart shattered in her chest, she felt sick.

She wanted to run or scream but she was trapped, her feet stayed rooted to the ground and she fought to keep a neutral expression despite the war raging in her head.

W.D looked angry too, he watched her with concern in his eyes no longer caring if Zidane saw him or not, "is that what he sounds like?" He whispered, no judgement. His voice was soft and sympathetic.

Thankfully Zidane was an old man, and so he didn't hear. Anne didn't look at him but kept her eyes on the door, she nodded stiffly and squeezed her eyes shut.

She heard the creaking speed up and his moans got louder and more desperate. She abandoned her calm front, she didn't have the strength to keep it up nor did she care about the consequences at this point.

She glared at the door, her fists clenched. She was furious and heartbroken and hurt but she knew she would kill Phillip the second they got home.

Anne squeezed W.D's hand tightly to relieve some of her anger, "I'm going to kill that boy" she seethed.

W.D nodded and sent a glare towards the door, "me too" he growled.

There was one big final creak and Phillip fell silent, a few seconds later the door opened and Phillip emerged with a satisfied grin on his face that told Anne everything she needed to know.

Phillip's stomach dropped when he saw the look on Anne's face, she looked furious and he saw the hurt in his eyes as he emerged from the study.

She didn't realise it was all for show, that he had faked the whole thing to lower suspicions. He would explain to her when they left the Zidane manor but that did nothing for the overwhelming guilt he felt that he had hurt Anne.

He smile nonetheless, after everything that had happened he couldn't drop his cover now when he could see the finish line.

He swaggered over to Mr Zidane with a smug grin on his face, "I'll take her" he said boastfully.

Mr Zidane returned his smug smile and offered his hand for Phillip to shake, "pleasure doing business with you Sir".

Phillip shook his hand firmly and then turned to Anne and W.D, looking at W.D he could tell he was absolutely livid, Phillip would be surprised if he didn't attack him the second they stepped outside which meant he'd have to explain quickly or pray he greeted his mother first.

Nonetheless he grabbed their shoulders and spun them around to leave, "walk. Let's go" he ordered.

He felt Anne tense up under his touch, sending a dagger stabbing through his heart.

She was angrier than he had ever seen her before, sure she had gotten pretty heated in their fight about Josephine but that was the only real exception, he and Anne didn't argue. They would get on each other's nerves or bicker about stupid pointless things that didn't matter but she'd never actually made him angry nor had he ever made her angry, not like this.

Anne was seething and he knew it, she glared daggers at him the second he walked out of the study and sent chills down his spine. If he thought of her scary before when she was annoyed this was a whole other level.

He pushed them outside, immediately Anne turned on him, "what the fuck" she hissed at Phillip.

He backed up quickly but she backed him against the wall, he held his hands up in defense, "I didn't really do anything I swear, I faked it!" He cried frantically.

She faltered, her eyes narrowed, "what do you mean you faked it?" She asked.

Phillip laughed nervously, "I didn't want to raise suspicion, that's what Zidane thought I was going in there to do so I just fake moaned, I told her what you told me to in Shona" he explained.

Anne's face immediately calmed, "oh" she said, "I would never do that to you, I love you Anne" he said, feeling very much relieved.

She shook her head and laughed, "I'm sorry I freaked out like that, I love you too".

At that moment Dangarembga walked out after W.D and stopped in her tracks, a look of shock on her face. She still couldn't believe her children had found her again.

None of them moved as Anne and W.D and Dangarembga all looked at one another, nobody wanted to move, it was like if they moved or even breathed she would be gone again forever.

She gasped as tears filled her eyes, "Willfred, is it really you?" She asked.

W.D nodded as a tear ran down his cheek, "it's me mama, we found you" his voice cracked with emotion. W.D never cried but seeing his mother again made him feel like a little boy again.

Dangarembga took a slow step towards bim before she broke into a run, she hugged him tightly in her arms as she cried, "my boy. I can't believe you found me, I never thought I'd see you again".

W.D wrapped his arms around his mother, knelt slightly so he could embrace her fully he buried his face in her hair and cried, "I'm here mama, you're safe now" he croaked.

Anne watched in disbelief, her eyes brimmed with tears but she was unsure what to do, after all this time she couldn't believe she had her mama back.

Dangarembga pulled away and held out her arm to Anne, "Annabelle, my sweet child. Come here baby" she said.

Anne broke away from Phillip and ran to her join her mama and brother, Phillip watched with a smile on his face as the three clung to each other and sobbed.

"We'll never let you go again mama" Anne promised, her mother shook as she held her children in her arms, "I never stopped thinking about you, I grieved for you every day. Look at you both, you're all grown up. I'm so sorry we were separated, I'll never let you go again" Dangarembga whispered.


	76. IMPORTANT UPDATE PLEASE READ

This isnt a chapter but a small update. I've moved to Archive of Our , I will still update on here but I will be focussing my work mainly on there. The first chapter can be found at /works/18049163/chapters/42655148


	77. Anne & WD Are Reunited With Their Mama

Anne held her mama as tight as she could, it broke her heart to feel how skinny and fragile her mama felt in her arms.

She'd been starved and abused and broken for years now, Anne didn't notice it as much when she was young but now looking at her mama as a grown woman she noticed things she never did as a little girl.

She could feel her spine and ribs as Anne wrapped her arms around her and her brother, she was so frail and weak. Her skin was paper thin and her eyes hollow sockets in her sunken face, she could still see how beautiful her mama was but she a hollow shell of the magnificent woman her mama first was.

Anne wondered how long it had been since her mama had eaten a real meal or slept in a comfortable bed or wore warm clothes, ones without any holes in them.

She vowed to herself when they returned to the circus she would do everything she could to give her mama the life she deserved, she had always taken care of her and protected her as a little girl and now it was time to do the same.

"We'll never let you go again mama" Anne cried as hot tears flowed down her cheeks. She could feel her mama shaking, from cold or emotion she wasn't sure.

Her mama held her and W.D tightly, "I never stopped thinking about you, I grieved for you every day. Look at you both, you're all grown up. I'm so sorry we were separated, I'll never let you go again" she whispered into Anne and W.D's chests.

She was so small in comparison to them both, Anne didn't remember her mama being so small but she supposed they'd be grown and changed a lot since the last time she had seen her mama. It made her sad to think about her mama never got the chance to see them grow into the people they are today.

They just held each other and cried, none of them wanting to let go until Anne couldn't hold on any longer. Her mama pulled away to look at them both, "chut mes chéris, hapana chikonzero chekuchema. Mama's here now" she reached out and brushed Anne's tears away then cupping her cheek and looking at her lovingly.

 _ *****_ __Anne laughed through her tears, "look at you, you're not a little girl anymore, you've grown into a beautiful woman" her mama said in Shona.

Anne smiled sadly and pressed her cheek against her mama's hand, "I'm sorry you never got to see us grow up" she sniffed.

W.D cleared his throat and wiped the tears from his eyes, "I kept my promise mama, I protected Anne and did my best to raise her".

Her mama released her face and turned to face W.D, "you did well mufaro, I'm so proud of you. I'm proud of you both, look at what wonderful people you have become" she said. Anne was surprised to see W.D cry, she could count the amount of times she'd seen W.D cry on both hands. He was never openly emotional, he didn't cry in front of anyone, even her she was his little sister who'd spent every waking moment by his side for many years yet he tried his best to remain strong and to hide his emotions.

He nestled against their mama's hand as she stroked his cheeks, using the pad of her thumb to wipe away his tears, "I always tried to make you proud mama, I did my best, tried to live a life you would approve of" he croaked.

She hugged him once again, however difficult it was due to the height comparison. "I know Will, I'm so proud of the man you've become. God I hardly recognise you" their mama laughed. _ *****_

W.D laughed too, sniffing as he tried to stop his tears. He felt embarrassed to cry in front of Phillip but seeing his mama again was all he'd ever wanted.

W.D cleared his throat and swiped quickly at his face, "we should probably get going Carlyle" he said gruffly, trying to redeem his composure after he cried like a little boy.

Phillip held a look of concentration as he'd tried to figure out what was being said to no avail. He shook his head when W.D spoke, "no, it'll be quicker just to get a carriage, it may be a little difficult but I can protect you and that way we can go straight to a train station" he said.

Dangarembga frowned and looked to Anne and W.D, "who is this?" She asked in Shonan.

Anne hesitated, she glanced at W.D to see he held the same apprehensive expression she held, "I think it's best we explain later, it's a long story and we've got much to discuss first" she said slowly.

She turned to Phillip to see his reaction, "is that alright?" She asked.

He admittedly felt a little awkward, of course he was extremely happy for Anne, she rarely talked about her mother but she did she'd always look away, her eyes misty and distant. She was always so sad.

He was thrilled he could reunite the small family again but he always felt a little uncomfortable when he had no idea what was being said and Anne being so hesitant to explain their relationship to her mom just didn't sit right with him.

But he figured this was a big day for Anne, and she did look happier than she had done since he'd proposed to her so he decided he'd play the good fiancée.

He forced a smile on his face and swallowed hard before he nodded, "yes of course, you three have a lot of catching up to do. I'll give you some space whilst I wave down a carriage for us all" he said.

Anne shot him a grateful smile, "thank you". He nodded awkwardly and walked closer to the road to begin his attempts in flagging down a carriage that'd accept three black people in New Orleans. Not an easy task.

 ** _*_** Dangarembga turned back to her children, "I've got so many questions, what happened after you escaped the plantation?" She asked.

Anne looked to W.D and laughed, "god where do we begin?" She said, "well we weren't immediately free when we left, we were captured by a powerful white man once the truck drove into town and we were enslaved there for another eight years but we escaped again from there and were free" he started.

Anne nodded, "once we escaped from the second plantation we escaped from New Orleans on the back of a train headed to New York, we lived on the streets for a few years until I was 20 and then met this amazing man, he's called P.T Barnum and he owns a circus. Me and W.D work and live there as trapeze artists" Anne finished.

"We're going to bring you home with us mama, me and Anne will take care of you from now on. We never have to be separated again" W.D explained.

Dangarembga took a few shaky steps back, "this is all so much to process" she murmured, Anne grabbed her arm gently to stabilise her, "I know it is mama, but I promise you, everything is going to be okay now". _*****_

"Anne! W.D! The carriage is here, come on. We need to go before the driver changes his mind" Phillip called.

Anne called back to Phillip to give them a moment before she turned to her mama, who watched Phillip with a mildly concerned expression, "I know what you're thinking, but Phillip's a friend. Not all white folk are bad, Phillip's one of the good ones, you can trust him" she reassured.

W.D nodded, "I thought the same when I first met him, but he proved himself to us. He's a good man mama" he promised.

Phillip's jaw set as he gazed at the floor. It hadn't fallen on deaf ears that Anne had referred to him as a "friend". He felt a little hurt by the fact his fiancée had just told her mom he was just a friend.

He understood why she did it of course but being called her friend felt a little condescending of what they had been through together.

Nonetheless he swallowed his disregard and waited patiently, assuring the impatient driver they wouldn't be long, he even slipped the driver a little extra cash when they got out at the train station in thanks for accepting three black people in his carriage.

After a long and difficult journey Phillip was relieved when he they took their seats on the train. He felt even more relieved as the train began moving, leaving the streets of New Orleans behind, hopefully for forever.


End file.
